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[05 Aug 2003|09:09am] |
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*rolls over in bed as I open my eyes hoping to see chris there, but expecting him to be gone.* surprise, surprise *kicks the covers off onto his empty side of the bed and gets up getting Lily out of her bassinet* Come on baby. Let's go sit in Christophers room and you can eat. *rubs her back gently as we go and sit in the rocking chair in Christophers room looking out the window as she eats. Looks down at her wiping a few tears from my eyes* Baby, you're daddy's angel, can you help him? Cuz I dont think I'm doing a very good job. *rubs her little feet as I talk* He needs somebody to save him and I'm trying, but it isn't working. So you think you could give it a try? *sighs as she falls asleep again, finished eating, puts her up on my shoulder burping her* Well it was worth a try to ask right? *Finishes burping her as I take her and place her in the crib in her bedroom watching her sleep for a minute* Maybe since it hasn't been that long since you were with God you could ask him for a favor. I mean you've only been gone from him a few months, me, its been years. *wipes my eyes again and leaves her to sleep going to get christopher from his room* Come on sweetie. Lets go have some breakfast then a bath. *heads downstairs* Maybe you can talk to Lily for me, see if you can convince her. I think she has always listened to you. *smiles as he leans into my face* kiss? *puts my lips out as he kisses them* thanks. i needed that.
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| a little update on meeeee |
[02 Aug 2003|10:38pm] |
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*sits in front of the computer glancing at all the pictures on my desk. tracing my fingers over a picture of chris, christopher, lily, and i at the hospital right after Lily was born. Looks at the screen and starts to type*
I spent the night with the kids. Got them all ready. We were gonna go shopping. The whole car was loaded they were clean and ready. I got half way to the mall, spotted Pizza Hut, went and got a large pizza and went back home. *laughs* Unloaded the kids got them in their jammies and we watched tv and i ate my whole pizza. I watched that Three's Company Movie. It was interesting. Suzanne Somers screwed herself royally.
I can't believe I'm so lame. I haven't been keeping you guys updated on my career at all. My new single will be coming out soon. The radio friendly title is "A Toast to Men" but the real title is Fuck the Men. Just so you all know what its really called and about *laughs* And since we all know that record labels are slower than fuck at updating sites its not on my official site yet, but you can check out a clip on the best fan site ever http://www.willaford.org/. The video will be done and out soon and hopefully *crosses fingers* MTV appropriate. Apparently my last video (Did you understand that) was too "controversial" for MTV. But I dont get it. There was nothing "controversial" about that video. I was in bed with a girl at the end, ooooh scary. I dunno. Whatever. I can't talk too much shit about MTV they have kept me working. I also did a show not long ago. My manager is SUPPOSED to be getting me pics from the latest photo shoots, the video shoot and the performance, hopefully he will have them for me soon.
( Somehow I ended up in some magazine with pauly shore. RANDOM! )
So thats the Willa Ford update. I hope you feel informed *smiles*
I'm going to go see if Christopher is still awake, and if he is, I'm gonna make him play with me. *laughs*
Shouldn't that be the other way around? Oh who cares.
*Clicks update and skips off*
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[01 Aug 2003|09:24am] |
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*turns to the bassinet hearing lily crying. slips out of bed and picks her up* I'm sorry sweetie mommy slept in a little. You're hungry I know. *walks around the room for a minute feeding her* Lets go check on Christopher, sound like a plan? *heads into the nursery sighing when i see his crib* Christopher can you please explain to me what sick pleasure you get out of taking your diaper off and playing in the poo? This is the second time you've done it this week. *sits down in the rocking chair* i guess just keep playing until i finish feeding Lily. *looks up at the ceiling* God, I'm about to go nuts I think. Don't let me go nuts please. I dont want to come off upset to my babies, even if I am. . .
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[31 Jul 2003|03:58pm] |
my husband is up to something. if anyone knows what it is, feel free to tell me.
and chris. . . i better not find out you are going to get milk. . .
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[30 Jul 2003|09:15am] |
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*sighs seeing the empty spot in the bed next to me. gets up and goes to check on christopher still sound asleep and then gets Lily out of her bassinet and takes her into the office with me*
He had a pretty good run. I almost thought we were past this point. But I woke up this morning, and who in the hell knows where my husband is. It had been a few days of him actually sleeping through the night. I dunno what it is with him. He could be on the verge of falling over he's so tired but he still can't sleep. Somedays I just want to throw a bottle of sleeping pills at him and tell him to take the whole bottle because I know even that wont put him to sleep, but most of the time I just want to know what it is in his mind that won't let him sleep. And I do know some of it, but I don't know how to help him. I don't know how I can make him really really safe in the bed so he can sleep. *looks down and kisses Lily* Make daddy sleep for me baby.
*sighs* Now Lily, shes a whole other issue. I don't understand her. Its like she ignores me unless I'm touching her. If shes sitting in her little seat I can talk to her for hours and she could careless, but the second i touch her foot or rub her tummy shes all into whatever it is I'm there to do. *cracks a small smile* My baby is already ignoring me, I thought this wasn't supposed to happen until she was a teenager.
Ok well I'm going to go feed and bathe my children and maybe I'll find Chris sleeping somewhere in the house, not likely, but I can hope, right?
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| *shimmies* |
[29 Jul 2003|09:09am] |
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so anyway. . .Chris and I looked the sickest car EVER yesterday! Oh my god, I want it soooooo bad. Its one of those cars that its funny looking, but its so beautiful and you want it purely for the speed. I want it. *laughs* I'm making Chris take me back one day this week, with out the kids, so we can drive it. Then its a matter of money. Its one of those things where we can afford it, but its a lot of money and we wont be able to run around buying crazy shit as much as we do now. Plus I'm one of those paranoid people who goes "I know if we buy this car there is going to be some kind of emergency and we are going to wish we had that money" So i dont know. I want it soooooooo bad though. *laughs*
Jen and Ashton's wedding. It was so nice. Jen called me and was like "HELP" so I knew that they were going to be getting married last night, but it was so wonderful. It made me think of Julia Roberts and her husband and how they invited everyone over for a party and then got married. I just think that kind of thing is so nice. Because then you can have just a small group of friends, people you really want there, and enjoy it. Not worry about a huge ass party and what not. Have a wedding that is back to what weddings should be about, love. Luca was great. She kept trying to get Lola to show us how she walks. Shes proud of her baby sister.
Chris and I decided were gonna start working out together here in the next few weeks. Nothing drastic, just something to get the baby weight off. Luckily I didn't put that much on. Right now I'm wearing my clothes i was wearing in the middle of the pregnancy because I'm still kinda swollen and what not, but a lot of women right after having their baby are wearing the same clothes they wore 3 days before, so I'm doing pretty damn good I think.
Anyway I'm gonna run and try and do a little cleaning before Chris wakes up and tells me I'm not allowed to.
*clicks update and runs downstairs to clean the living room*
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[28 Jul 2003|10:45pm] |
heres a joke:
A young boy answered the phone in a whisper "Hello?"
The man at the other end asked to speak to his father. The boy replied in a whispher "He can't come to the phone."
The man then asked to speak to his mother. He again whispered "She's busy. She can't come to the phone either."
The man became confused and asked if anyone else was at the house with the boy. "Yes," he wispered. "The police and the firemen are here too." When the man asked to speak to one of them, hoping to finally get an adult on the phone to find out what was going on, the boy again whispered "They're busy too. They can't come to the phone either."
Finally the man asked the boy what his father, his mother, the police and the fire department were so busy doing that they could not come to the phone.
The boy whispered "They're looking for me."
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| monday morning. |
[28 Jul 2003|10:11am] |
*slips out of bed and scoops lily up out of her bassinet and tip toes out of the room and down the hall to my office. sits down in front of the computer getting Lily situated to eat then opens a blank page*
You know after a few days a breastfeeding you learn how much you can really do while your baby eats. *laughs* Oh my gosh we had so much fun yesterday. It was blazing hot so we all went swimming. Christopher is a little fish already. He splashes all around in his little floatie. He's such a good splasher that he killed chris *smiles* We just got Lily in the water for a minute, I didn't want to keep her out in the sun. Then we ate some dinner and we went to the park. I swear to God i wish we would have taken a camera so you could have seen Christophers face while he was on the swings. I thought I was going to piss myself I was laughing so hard. He thought it was like the most AMAZING thing and seriously, oh my god. I can't even explain his face, it was just hilarious. The kids were so wiped when we came home. They had two really big days in a row. So today is just a hang out, chill day. Well except we need to go to the mall. Christopher is getting all big and running out of clothes very quickly. Hes down to like 2 pairs of pants 4 shirts and a pile of onesies. Which as hot as its been hes pretty much just been wearing onesies but he needs clothes. Ok. I'm gonna go finish feeding lily, then feed christopher then see if chris is still sleeping. . .
*clicks update and goes to the nursery*
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| 2 new things |
[27 Jul 2003|11:48am] |
So yesterday I learned two new things.
First I learned that it is possible for a grown man to not know how to make his own bed. I mean I think I probably knew in the back of my mind this is the real reason so many men have unmade beds, but I kinda wanted to believe it was just the lazy factor.
Second, I learned its possible to be gone only a few hours and miss 2 people more than you've ever missed anyone in your entire life. I nearly cried when we first left. My brother wanted to spend some time with the kids so chris and i went out for a picnic at our beach and had some alone time. I haven't talked to my brother yet so I dunno what the hell he did with the kids but we came home and all three were asleep on the couch. Lily woke up long enough to eat and Christopher woke up cuz Chris wouldnt' leave him alone *laughs* then they passed right back out.
i also learned a third thing: it is humanly possible for my husband to sleep a full night.
*skips off*
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| . . . |
[26 Jul 2003|09:47am] |
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From the first time I hung out with Chris after everything with Amanda I knew I had found the most amazing man in the world and I would be crazy to let him go. But now I've realized that he's even more amazing than I thought. Hes stronger than I ever could have guessed. He is just the most beautiful man I've ever known. I just hope our kids grow up to be half as good as he is. If we can accomplish that, we'll be doing good.
But I'm sure you don't want to hear my confessions of how much I adore my husband, so we'll go on to the next topic you are sick of hearing about, the kids.
Yesterday I taught christopher 2 things. First I taught him to give Lily kisses. Its so cute. You go "Kiss" and then you whisper "Kiss" and he kisses her. Its awesome. Then he had to get a prize so we were eating popsicles and now he licks them popsicle and goes "mmmmm" Its hilarious. He cracks me up so much. I'm so afraid for when he gets into school. I know we are going to be having daily parent teacher conferences about how Christopher needs to stop being the class clown. And I'm sure while we're at these meetings Lily will be prancing around in diamonds and rubies because shes got her dad so whipped its not even funny. I swear if Lily just looked at Chris wrong he'd probably be lavishing her with gifts to ask for her forgiveness *laughs*
ah the life and times of the kirkpatricks. . .
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[25 Jul 2003|09:16am] |
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What is better than waking up at 2am because your daughter wants to chew on your nipple. I dunno. *laughs* You know I really wish Lily didn't have my appetite right now. I wouldn't be up every 4 seconds feeding her. And I don't mind getting up, I love getting that time with her because no matter how you slice it, its my time with her. What I don't like that she discovered that after she eats she kinda likes to chew at my nipple and if I pull her away she wails like its child abuse. Shes gonna eat my nipple off damnit. Ok thats enough talk about my nipple for you all.
I decided yesterday that Christopher is the smartest baby EVER. Chris was outside making dinner (yes he made dinner, he didn't burn the house down, AND it tasted good) and I needed to feed Lily, so we went and sat in the play room so Christopher could crawl around while we were both occupied anyway. There are a couple balls and stuff in there and he was playing with one of the balls and totally figured out that he could roll the ball against the wall and it would come back to him! I thought that was really smart. I mean hes only 8 months old. That is freaking genius as far as I'm concerned.
*hears Lily crying in the background*
Ok i gotta go get her before she gets christopher all crazy too.
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| awe. . . |
[24 Jul 2003|09:20pm] |
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what does my baby like to do after she eats?
she obviously sleeps better than her father *laughs*
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[24 Jul 2003|09:35am] |
I dont think I've ever, ever been as happy as I am right now. When Christopher was born, I was happy. But there were so many other emotions that came with that that I would rather forget. But god, having Lily here is just like the most amazing thing ever. Nothing could ever, ever top this. I was so exhausted last night after having her, I would wake up though now and then just open my eyes make sure she was still here then fall back asleep. Shes the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen. I give the same warning I gave after my wedding, forgive me if this is ALL i talk about for a while.
Thank you to everyone who came last night. Justin, Trace, JC, Lance, My new bestfriend Joey and Jen! Laying in pain was just a little bit better with you guys around last night.
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[23 Jul 2003|10:53pm] |
woohoo
now thats what i call using all your assets. In a wheel chair? Its ok you can still have your beer!
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[23 Jul 2003|02:49pm] |
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I love my husband.
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[22 Jul 2003|03:19pm] |
*looks at the picture of chris and i on the day we moved in together sitting on my desk. traces over him before looking at the computer screen*
I don't know what to do with him anymore. I love him so much and he knows that. He knows that I would turn my world upside down for him if he asked. And I don't understand myself, I would do anything because he wants me to, but I hate that sometimes he'll do stuff just because I want him to. I guess I have some stupid double standard that as far as he's concerned he needs to do things because he wants to, not because I want him to.
why am i such a psycho?
*sighs*
ok i'm done.
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[21 Jul 2003|10:03pm] |
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i just want it all to be ok.
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[21 Jul 2003|10:25am] |
Hi. I'm tired. For some reason when I laugh my stomach hurts like a bitch. I dunno, I called the doctor she said not to worry about it unless iit happens more often.
Chris got us a new puppy. She's beautiful. I'm hoping korea and puppy adjust fast since lily will be here soon and that's just one more person in the house.
What lance said about chris and I, I'm so emotional I just cried.
Lily is gonna be here soon. I can't wait. I need to get her bag together and mine so that we will be all ready when its time to go.
Anyway I'm gonna go find my cranky husband and cranky son and try and make them sleep now since they didn't last night.
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[18 Jul 2003|07:40am] |
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home. I can't wait to be there. Chris and I are on our way there today. No more Canada, No more Illinois, No more anything but HOME.
Chris is in for a little surprise when we get home. I told my brother his final payment on the bedroom set I gave him was to finish Lily's room for us. So that should be complete when we get home. Also I got the contractor in there to finish the play room and make the house baby safe. You know the little baby locks on the cabinets gates on the stairs. The whole deal. So when we get home our house should be finished, for now. I'm really excited for Lily's room. My friend went in and painted butterflies and fairies on the walls and like laksdjlak i want to see it sooo bad! I hope Lily likes it. I mean by the time she is old enough to care who knows if we'll be living in this house anymore.
In other news, I have no other news *laughs*
If any of you are coming out to CFTC this weekend let us know. Maybe we'll have a BBQ or something. A get together for everyone.
mmm bbq sounds so good *laughs* i'm gonna go get some breakfast. . .
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