Lisa's Blurty

Subject:	love.
Time:	12:07 am.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

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Subject:	old school.
Time:	1:05 pm.

Remember those old journal posts where people would write about sad things and old memories? They'd say things like...

"The power blinked and my clocks are broken. I've been sitting in this room all day waiting for you. I wonder where you are, i wonder who you're thinking about, i wonder if anyone is touching you right now. I'd kill to be touching you."

(then at this point you'd stop. skip a line for dramatic effect and say something like...)

"1:38. the clock keeps flashing. 1:38. blink. 1:39. blink."

But why bother being sad anymore. Just crumple your sadness into a giant compact ball and save it for one really sad day. Theres no use shredding your sadness and throwing it all over your life like ugly confetti. Dude, cleaning up confetti is such a pain in the butt.

I guess unless you have a vaccumm and one of those dust busters.

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Subject:	incase
Time:	5:31 pm.

In case anyone still checks this thing, i am alive, i'm doing well. I'm drinking a lot of water. I'm still in love with seth and that just keeps getting better.

My room is a mess...im in the process of cleaning it. I finished my english regents today and have a u.s. history exam tomorrow. then im done.

Life is good, things are good. I want to make an orange skirt.

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Time:

9:57 pm.

Your Life: The Movie by mintyduck
Who will play you:	Tori Spelling
Who will play your love interest:	David Spade
Weeks you will stay in the box office:	17
Song that will play during your love scene:	Echo and the Bunnymen - Lips Like Sugar
Song that will play during your death:	Johnny Cash - Hurt
Your name:

Quiz created with MemeGen!

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Subject:	everything is gray here.
Time:	4:00 pm.

I am cold. I am not faking anything. I refuse to fake things right now. I will keep things honest. And I am happy solely because I have become an honest person, and it's a good feeling. Because it seems like things are falling apart, but at least im not lying about it. At least im not faking it.

Real does not mean tangible. Thats a false definition they teach you in 9th grade. Your feelings are real and your thoughts are very real. Your words are so incredibly real. Evil is real. Love is real. God is real. How can you tell me tangible means real?

i dont know. i'm done.

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Subject:	They tought me different was wrong.
Time:	6:52 pm.

It's funny, because I don't think anyone reads this and yet i check peoples abandoned blurties all the time. Oh well.

School is school. Sleep depriving, easy as heck school. I decided school is easy. I'm just lazy. I stay awake during social studies and english and sleep in physics and day dream and pre calc. If i could change that around I'd be the smartest person ever. Its' my new goal.

Yesterday I decided to love everyone and thats hard, especially because i get annoyed when people don't try to love everyone. But hey, this is a personal change... which means its for me. I don't have to shove it in peoples faces.

I'm trying to teach myself guitar. It's uh.. its going pretty good.. i guess? I mean it's only my second day, haha so yeah. I think its just practice and getting used to the guitar.

I need a hair cut, i need to do my homework, and i think i need to let seth know i love him, because sometimes i feel like he forgets.

this entry is full of change.

things change, i guess.

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Subject:	2 years.
Time:	6:09 am.

I've known Krista Conway for 2 years today. That's nuts because it feels like i've known her my whole life.

Happy 2nd Anniversary to Krisa Conzinger and Lista Hatzingway. <33

woop woop.

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Time:

1:38 pm.

Maybe it's the weather or maybe its school. Maybe it's the way im eating or the way im taking care of myself. I am not unhappy. I swear it.

It's just that something wrong.

Maybe I need a new hair cut or maybe i should start showering everyday again. Maybe a little lipstick would help me out.

Maybe I need sun or summer weather or a new outlook on life.

or something.

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Subject:	ashleys party.
Time:	11:19 am.

Aw. Darling ashley is 16 as of today. <33 And her party was last night and it was so much fun. :) She gave Kristyn and I a candle and it was so cute. They have to be the like.. a funnest people i know. word. <3

The heat in the bathroom was on really high last night and started burning. The smoke alarm went off and it was scary. It was like... 2:30 am or something crazy like that.

The Vargas's are home... and that's pretty sweet.

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Subject:	rough.
Time:	9:40 pm.

But this part is the worst because im tired and irritable and your e-mail makes me hopeful that when you come home maybe we can just sit and hold eachother for a little while and maybe get some sort of easy sleep. And then maybe you can tell me what happened and I can give you your presents and we can laugh at something stupid and maybe you'll try and kiss my stomach and maybe this time i won't put up a fight.

..just for the sake of having you home.

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Subject:	losing it? ...lost it.
Time:	10:06 pm.

WAKE UP, JERKS!

I'm going crazy. crazy crazy crazy. Hearts was awesome tonight. I sang real loud and got hot chocoloate. Talked to Mike Massaro and it's been a while since I've seen him. Krista wasn't there. Jesse wasn't there. I sat in between Chris and Tim we sat kind of close to the front.. the music was real loud.

blah blah blah.

No, you havent called. I slept all day hoping you'd somehow be home when i woke up, but you left yesterday morning from across the country how are you supposed to be home in 2 days?

10:09 pm. I am not tired at all.

I sewed my pants today. thats pretty sweet.

I swear this is the worst part... awaiting the arrival. If i tell myself you'll never be home will you come home faster? It's been 14 days and I've kept my cool, but so what if 2 weeks is all i can handle? Maybe I'm a spoiled girl and like to get what i want and i want you home. Maybe I'm just selfish like that.

Or maybe i'd like to know how you're doing and hope you're a little but happier. And maybe I'd like to wish you a happy birthday because I still haven't had the chance.

oh.

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Time:

11:23 am.

I read back to early 2004 in my journal last night. I used to write well. I don't know what happened.

I read to when I couldn't take it anymore. I clearly remeber writing all the things I wrote and why and when I wrote them. They made me realize that maybe I wasn't alone all the times i thought i was. But damn, doesn't unrequited love just tear your insides out, then you're finally hollow you just want to lay down and cry yourself into death.

No kidding.

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Subject:	Mary Tyler Moore made it after all.
Time:	4:34 pm.

Sometimes you have those days when you're ready to dive into anyones arms. Anyone who opens them. And maybe they can feel you need them right then... because they never want to let go and thats okay because you don't want to let them go either. And I will hold anyone, anytime because life gets you down and hugs from friends... even hugs from strangers... well those make things better.

Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite. I work against my own beliefs. Defeating my own cause. How am I ever going to tell a girl to live by her own standards if I come hone and pick up a stupid catalog and compare myself to someone else?

It's bullshit. I damn well know it.

I hope my sister grows up to be the coolest girl anyones ever known ever. She could, too. She's got that spunk.

Hey. Remember the first episode of Mary Tyler Moore when her boss said he hated spunk?
Man. Way too many people hate spunk.

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