"I'm not dead yet!"   
04:18am 15/01/2009
 
mood: worried
music: The usual mental soundtrack
Okay, so work's finally looking up - i.e. I got my long-awaited raise, so I may actually have MONEY, now. However, other complications have arisen and in such a short span that I'm on the verge of an overload. Let me explain.

. . . .

There is too much. Let me sum up - the woman I'm in love with is in an awful situation, an entire time zone away. I do not own a vehicle of any sort and my abilities to hijack any sort of vehicle are non-existent. And before anyone asks, I do not think using the old "I have a hamster, and I know how to use it!" threat would work in taking over a Boeing. >.< I'm worried to the point that I'm pacing, the grief she's been caused had me so pissed I went out and beat the ever-loving out of one of our garbage bins (and bruised my knucks because I was punching the wrong way) and I have no idea if sleep will come easily or at all.

I know my purpose in life. Or at least, the one I've given myself:

"I am the Rock my friends can lean on, the Shelter from the Storm."

Plain and simple. That's what I do. Yea, I have a day job and all that. But we all have something we're meant to do and for me, that's it. The downside is that when any of my friends are in trouble or hurting and I'm miles away...the helplessness claws at my heart, to the point where I can't focus on hardly anything. It's the worst feeling in the world - I am a fairly laidback gent, as any of my friends will tell you. It takes a lot to get me genuinely pissed off. Messing with those friends is the top. And when said friends are in a sad state and I can't help? Do you WANT to see me bench press a Hemi right before throwing it at a Dumpster?

Okay, so maybe that's an unreasonable stretch, but you get the idea. It's very lucky for those who cause my friends anguish and sorrow. I do NOT like hitting people. I have a hard time sparring in kenpo. However, if any of those antagonists got near me, there had better be a cool head to hold me back. You do NOT fuck with my family. And when you make me your friend, let me into your heart as a friend, that makes you family. No matter how many years or miles seperate us, I will never let go.

I will always have your back. And you guys know it. And if you forgot, then that's your reminder.

And now, since this rant has focused some of the nervous energy and anger, I am going to attempt sleep, keeping my phone near. I have no flashy outfit, no flowing cape nor even a Bat Signal. Maybe I'm not the hero I want to be. But I'll be damned if that keeps me from trying.

~Zero, out ("Ring the bell, Domon Kasshu!")		  
   
Mod that Mech!
 
  wingzeroz2
 
 
days