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Massive Armored Fighting Mecha Wing Gundam Zero Z2

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One Step Closer to the Edge... [06 Sep 2008|04:09am]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | Star Salzman - Chrono Trigger Black Wind Rising OC Remix ]

Quick heads-up: This will probably sound emo or some such, but it is a mere statement of fact.

The last couple of weeks I have been working longer than average (for me, anyway) shifts. Next week I have a 6 day, 41 hour week - which for me, is a damn lot. Now, I'm not sure if it's my impatience with my job or what, but. Something about me, not sure what, exactly, feels about to break. Like, strained to the limit. And I REALLY don't want to find out whatever will happen when whatever it is breaks. Got enough on my plate with the usual routine without something needing to get put in the shop, as it were.

So. If anyone I normally associate with reads this and I start to seem snappy, or ohterwise off, you've been warned. I'll keep it together as best I can, as per usual. But a little caution never hurts.

Ja ne, minna.

~Zero, out (of his gourd, nothing new there!).

Mod that Mech!

Searching [14 Aug 2008|05:07am]
[ mood | predatory ]
[ music | Paul Oakenfold feat. Cee-Lo - Falling ]

Well, hopefully this post isn't emo or anything. Aiming for philosophical, really.

For quite some time, I can recall certain dreams. The linking factor among these dreams, all of which were very different, was a presence. A woman/girl/fem what have you. Sometimes I saw her face, sometimes not - though trying to recall her face is like trying to hold smoke. And sometimes, she was different - hair color, eyes, clothes, skin, etc. But the presence is there, always the same. Well, that's something that really doesn;t occur to me until I wake up, but still.

I'd like to think that this is an actual person, but it's very possible that I'm just being a hopeless romantic or childishly optimisitic or something. Should I keep looking? Is it a good idea?

Guess I'll just soldier on and see what happens...

~Zero, out (of money, in need of fundage! >.< )

Mod that Mech!

- [25 Jul 2008|10:43pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

There are times when I hate myself for thinking certaint hings, feeling a certain way about stuff or letting certain things bother me or get to me that probably shouldn't.

Been having one of those times. It sucks and irks he hell out of me.

Maybe someday, my backbone will finish growing in. Or I'll actually be able to weather that sort of thing better. But that day is not today. Tomorrow doesn't look good, either.

~Zero, out (like the muthafuggin' gout).

Mod that Mech!

Incoming [24 Jul 2008|04:28pm]
[ mood | discontent ]
[ music | audioCrucnh - The Stars That Talk ]

So. I can feel anohter "funk" coming on. I can feel myself slipping in that direction, see signs that I'm gonna be somewhat confused and a tad miserable in the near future.

And I have no idea how to stave it off or stop it.

It probably doesn't help that bills kill my checks just about every week. Well, at least the last several. That pisses me off, really - and I am searching for more gainful empoyment.

Haven't been eating much lately, though we REALLY need to go grocery shopping. The pantry is running out and the stuff in the freezer requires more effort than is feasible most days.

And, there are other things that seem to be getting to me moreso than usual, which is what set me off to the fact that I am slidding toward "funk" territory. I tend to be more emotional than most people, I think. It has its advantages, and it has its drawbacks. I aslo tend to overthink, overworry and generally fret about things that I really shouldn't - and the mind-numbingness of my job doesn't help, as I can be ringing a four cart load fo groceries and my brain will be going over this stuff. And most of the time, in the past, these things would get resolved in some way and I'd be in the clear.

But this latest thing...I don't think it's going to be resolved. Or at least, not any time soon. And the resolution will probably not be helpful.

So. Suffice to say, there is more on my mind thatn there should be, and I am trying to straighten things out, but it's tough as hell.

Wish me luck, ya? 'm gonna need it.

~Zero, out (of money, but plenty of time).

Mod that Mech!

A Goal [09 May 2008|03:00am]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | SEATBELTS - Tank! (Luke Vibert Remix) ]

There is something that I want. Something that, to some, might seem outalandish or foolish, or maybe even selfish, to some degree.

To me, however, I only see it as being a little different from the norm.

Not going to say what this goal is, because it might invite all sorts of things, including bad luck.

Needless to say, I will strive to attain this unlikely, seemingly impossible goal, in every way I can. Maybe I'll achieve it. Maybe I'll crash and burn. It's all or nothing, I think.

But I have to try.

Wish me luck. ^^

~Zero, out (of wit and banter. Oh, and money, too. ^_^; )

1 Modification| Mod that Mech!

Frustration Exemplified [01 May 2008|02:47am]
[ mood | frustrated ]
[ music | rungran - Blue Rose ]

One of the biggest things that hurts me, drives me into a frenzy at my helplessness, is when one of my friends is upset or down or hurting and I can't BE there. Most of the time it's distance that prevents this, but when all I can do is offer words of sympathy and encouragement...just makes me wish I could do MORE. Call it a weakness, call it silly chivalry, but I will never be able to change that.

However, even if all I have are my words for them, though I may stumble and say something in an awkward fashion, ramble endlessly or just spout something entirely pointless, it's heartfelt.

Guess it all comes down to doing whatever I can to help.

~Zero, out (of everything I need).

Mod that Mech!

ROFL [01 Feb 2008|12:16am]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Cranius - Big Blue Dress ]

Random entry, but a thought occurred to me at work, as I was ringing up items (I'm a supermarket cashier).
Is it immature of me that I have to repress a chuckle every time I see the cock flavored soup come through my line? No joke, we have in our "international" section, soup that says, in huge, bold green letters COCK and under it Flavored Soup Mix and a rooster underneath that. Though the "Fish Tea" is amusing as well. Not as amusing as cock-flavored soup.

Now I KNOW it's supposed to be, like, rooster flavored (is there a difference between chicken and rooster when it comes to soup..?) but...come on. Maybe my mind is in the gutter a lot lately, but I KNOW most of the people I hang out with would totally giggle or snicker if they saw that. Seriously.

That's all from me. Ja ne, minna-san!

~Zero, out (of money, time is a little better this week. xD)

Mod that Mech!

What dreams may come... [30 Dec 2007|12:31am]
[ mood | frustrated ]
[ music | Scooter - Fire ]

So, I had a bad dream last night. Not bad as in scary or nightmare, more like unsettling in a way. Though it wasn't distrubing while I was in it; that part settled in after I sat and remembered it and had a chance to think it over.

Well, it wasn't ALL of the dream, just the most vivid part I can recall. Which is enough (and lately I can only recall piecemeal bits of my dreams anyway, if I remember them at all). The description follows. And it's kind of...well, graphic. If you don't think you can handle it (or REALLY don't want to know) then stop reading now.

For the rest of you... )

The thing that bugs me most about this dream was the fact that I was being intimate with another girl and for some reason, was going to keep it secret from my grilfriend. In other words - I was cheating. And when I sat back and went over the dream, I was rather pissed at myself. The fact that the thought was in my head was enough for me to get kind of upset. I love Jen more than anything, miss her like hell, too. And it kind of hurt that thee was any part of me that could think that. My thoughts on it are A.) On some level I kNEW it was a dream; and/or B.) I was under the influence of a lower part of my brain functions at that point in the dream. We'll just say I miss my girlfriend for a myriad of reasons and soem of those reasons decided to shanghai part of my REM sleep and leave it at that.

But yea, just REALLY bothered me. Because I know I would NEVER actually DO that. Rather drive a truck full of nitro through a course of speed bumps doing sixty while covered in fire ants than hurt her.
...
Well, okay, maybe not the fire ants. But still.
Um...any thoughts or comments (hopefully of a comforting or positive nature) would be greatly appreciated. ^_^;

Ja ne, minna-san.

~Zero, out (of money, but time's not too bad.)

Mod that Mech!

ZOMG, I are action hero(ine)! [27 Nov 2007|03:08pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Robert Miles - Children (Full Length Dream) ]


Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as Lara Croft

A thrill-seeking, slightly unscrupulous, tough-as-nails archaeologist, Lara Croft travels the world in search of ancient relics perhaps better left hidden. She packs two Colt .45s and has no fear of jumping off buildings, exploring creepy tombs, or taking on evil meglomaniacs bent on world domination.


Lara Croft


79%

Captain Jack Sparrow


75%

Indiana Jones


71%

William Wallace


67%

Maximus


58%

The Terminator


54%

James Bond, Agent 007


54%

El Zorro


50%

Neo, the "One"


50%

The Amazing Spider-Man


42%

Batman, the Dark Knight


38%




So...if I became an action hero...I guess I'd end up changing genders...? That'll be damn weird. O,<

LOL

Ja ne, minna!

~Zero, out (of ways to stay entertained, TIME FOR ZOMBIES!!!)

Mod that Mech!

Merely a flesh wound... [19 Nov 2007|12:00am]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | Star Salzman - Chrono Trigger Forever Until Tomorrow ]

I'm not dead yet! Honest! I feel fine!

Okay, enough Monty Python.
Still alive and kickin', though whether anyone reads this bugger anymore...no clue. Eh.

So I looked over some actions of mine the past few days and realized that I've been something of a tool in regards to my girlfriend. -_-; Taking a bit of willpower to keep from getting the claw hammer from the closet here and trying to knock some sense into my damn fool head. Honestly. I wasn't trying to be insensitive or a moron or anything. My intentions were good, though there is a saying about a road to a certain hot spot paved with those kinds of intentions. In which case, I am taking the offramp, thank you very much.

Maybe I'm just lonely? I dunno. I love Base and Kasper, really do. Good friends, bit rough but they're good guys. Still, I wish I knew more people down here I could hang out with. Most of my socializing is onlie these days and while that's all fine and dandy, nothing beats good ol' face to face chillin'.

Gawd, I need a car. ;_;

Meh. 'side from the usual gripings about work (though the folsk I work with rock. ^_^) nothing real noteworthy here. Think I'll go try and bring the heat on AC 4. Missile Barrage! xD

And from now on, I will try and keep from commmitting any claw-hammer-sense-knocking-worthy stupidity. TRY. Can't really make any prmoises. I mean, it's me, after all. ^_^;

Ja ne, minna-san!

~Zero, out! (but not down! Ha!)

Mod that Mech!

Loss of a great man. [19 Sep 2007|10:28pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

Yesterday, September 18th, 2007, my grandfather John "Jack" Reece, Sr. passed away. He had been in the hospital on life support because his kidneys failed. He was taken off and several hours later, in the company of his wife Ruth, went to sleep and passed on into the great unknown.

I got the call from my mother shortly before leaving for work earlier today. It's been some time since I've heard her so torn up, though I can't blame her. Was her dad, after all.

It's taking a bit to sink in, though there are times I can feel tears pricking at my eyes, even while I type this. I loved my grandfather dearly and despite occasional disagreements, he was one of those people who never gave up on me and believed (and probalby still does) that I am capable of great things. I wish I could see the service they are having for him - he was in the Air Force (and served in the Pentagon for several years, as well), so he's getting an honor guard and everything. We'll be having a smaller family memorial service when my family goes down in October. I hope my brothers and sister are okay. Not sure if they've been informed yet.

I think that, like with Krista's death, the full implications will hit me once I go down there. Or maybe not. Maybe it'll sneak up on me here. Guess we'll see. Until then, I'll continue onward. Doubt Grampa'd want me being too down. Probably want me to keep goin', push ahead. I loved him dearly and I will never forget what he's taught me.

RIP John "Jack" Reece, Senior
We'll miss you, Grampa.


Ja ne, minna-san.

Zero, out.

Mod that Mech!

D'oh... [10 Aug 2007|01:46am]
[ mood | >.< ]
[ music | Motley Crue - Kickstart My Heart ]

Well, not ENTIRELY what I expected...
So I called the cell phone of the fellow my girlfriend is staying with. He answered and said she couldn't come to the phone and asked if he could take a message. I told him it was her boyfriend and I had her game card for WoW. He said he;d have her call back.

Well, she did and she snapped at me and said not to call that phone anymore, as it seems the phone's owner is sick of people calling for her. First time I get to talk to her in a month or more and I get snapped at. I apologized, mentioning it was the only real way I had to contact her, aside from e-mail. Or through WoW. She agreed that it sucked and apologized for sounding snappy. Appears she'd had a shitty day and they were helping someone move. And if the phone's owner got pissed with her, then I understand why she was short with me.

I accepted the apology and wished her a better day tomorrow. And I meant it. She's in kind of rough spot, through no real fault of her own. The thing that smoothed it over, for the most part, though was she told me she loved me before we hung up, a sentiment I returned.

Hope things start looking up for her. Just wish I could help in a more direct way.

In other news, I found that when it comes to me and Base in HALO, he tends to pwn my ass, especially when I miss in my attempt the runs his ass down with my Warthog. >.< That's all for now. Just had some stuff to get off my chest.

Ja ne, minna-san!

~Zero, out (of time, but still have some moeny left! xD)

Mod that Mech!

OMG LOL [27 Jul 2007|01:31am]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Daisuke Ishiwatari - Writhe In Pain/Remix ]

So! Managed to get my check cashed today and had a sammich for break.

And I feel a million times better. ^_^
Is it possible that my malaise was merely lack of food? Something THAT SIMPLE? Man I hope so. If so, I should be okay until my next check. Man, I can't wait til we get these damn bills levelled. -_-; Once we aren't behind, we should have a chance to build up enough cash that we can keep from falling behind again. I still have to square my account, though. >.< Freaking overdraft charges BURN! >.<

Ja ne, minna-san!

~Zero, out (of whatever was bugging me. Yay! xD)

Mod that Mech!

Off... [26 Jul 2007|03:24pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]
[ music | The Ataris - Connections Are More Dangerous Than Lies ]

Dunno why, but I've been feeling off lately. It was there before Otakon, but the excitement of actually being at the con after a hiatus kind of shoved it into the background. But now it's kind of back. Well, I can push it back, to a point, but it builds and surges back for a time.

It's like...I'm waiting for something to happen. Or something's coming...just...dunno what. It's kind of like nervous anticipation. Only not the pleasant kind. Closer to dread, but not as strong toward the negative sense. Just... I dunno. *sigh* It's bugging the hell out of me. I don't know WHY I'm feeling like this...almost a tangible feeling in my chest sometimes. I just want whatever's coming to get the fsck here and get it over with so I don't have to deal with this anymore. Testing the limits of even my patience.

And missing my girlfriend doesn't help. But that I can deal with. Well, better than this...whatever it is. -_-

Better to deal with loneliness of the heart than this...hanging dread. Or whatnot. Gotta fight on, though. Keep pushing on. Run until I have to crawl. And when I can't do that...well, I hope there's someone there to carry me.

Or maybe there's someone I should be carrying? I dunno. I had a point, but I went and rambled. Well, let's see how this goes...

Ja ne, minna-san!

~Zero, out (of food. Grocery time! >.< )

Mod that Mech!

>.O [19 Jul 2007|04:40am]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | Nightwish - Dark Chest of Wonders ]

I've been feeling off lately and I don't know why. I thought that it might be a combination of missing Yuri and...some other stuff. But now that I think on it, I'm not sure if that's just it. Or if my "offness" has anything to do with that.
Don't get me wrong - I miss my girlfriend dearly, possibly more than she misses me. >.< But...I've got this wierd feeling that something is supposed to or is going to happen soon. And I don't think it's the con, though I am excited for that. Dunno. Sick of feeling like a damned emo kid, though. >.< It's frustrating and...I have no idea who to talk to about it. Damn it.

-Zero, out (of almost everthing. But I'm hanging on.)

Mod that Mech!

Of Sunburns and Instance Groups [22 May 2007|03:56am]
[ mood | frustrated ]
[ music | The Black Mages - J-E-N-O-V-A ]

Well, hopefully, my bonnie lass shall be back on Saturday. I can hardly wait! ^_^
Now I have more of an idea how Base feels. Well, I kind of did before, when Jen and I were still living across the country from one another, IMing and calling.
I guess my feelings back then were filled with anticipation. Like wanting to get to know her face to face.
Now that I know her, I guess the situation is slightly similar, but now instead of anticipation, it's a longing. I mean, yes, I look forward to bieng able to get...physically intimate, true enough. But I've missed more than just that - the witty retorts and rebukes, the tickle fights, the belly rubs, giving her massages, reading each other's writing and the plain ol' cuddle time, where we just sat there and didn't really say much or just talked about random stuff. ^_^

Well, not TOO much longer, now. Still, Saturday couldn't be farther away. >.< And my busy work week'll just make it feel like longer. >.<

And, to top it off, working parcel pickup (cart wrangler, for those in the less suburban parts of zee world), I got me a minor sunburn today. Doesn't really hurt, but it itches ever so slightly on my arms. And my face feels too warm. >.< Guess I'll get my tan one way or another this summer. xD

Ja ne, minna-san!

~Zero, out (of ways to keep still while waiting for Saturday! HURRY UP!!! >.< ))

Mod that Mech!

*sigh* [16 May 2007|01:25am]
[ mood | frustrated ]
[ music | Martin O'Donnell - In Amber Clad ]

Grr...I am all spazzed out over an IC "talk" with one of the worst in-game bigots I have EVER met (not THE biggest, just ONE fo them). Worked up, have to sleep for work in the morning and the one person who could help me chill out isn't here. And won't be back for a week and a half (unless some current factors change). And then she might not be staying... T-T

*sigh* Bugger me....

Interesting how much you take for granted having someone around all the time, y'know? And once that person isn't there, it's like there's an empty space there or something.

Puppy misses his Chibi...

~Zero, out (of somethin', just dunno what. >.< )

Mod that Mech!

One of my more introspective moments... [03 Apr 2007|03:44pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]
[ music | Saliva - Click Click Boom ]

Funny how some of my deeper thoughts are brought about by things other folks take for granted, like anime, manga. Or, in this case, fanfiction.

The work in question, which is exceedingly good, despite some grammatical and spelling oversights, is called Frozen. It's an interesting work, based on Final Fantasy 8. I will warn you ahead of time if you averse to odd pairings (or "'ships", as the current slang goes), then you may not like this one, despite it's excellence. It does a very good job of pairing Quistis and Fujin.

I will do my best, here, not to post any spoilers. Because you really, really, REALLY should read it for yourself. It's a bit of a downer, this part, though. And, as often happens, I find a certain song comes to mind and I can see Rav arriving in a blast of Crimson and completely turning things on end for the good of all parties. BUt even with the re-written portion in my head, the words are written. And I couldn't help but recall what Deimos, Rav's teacher and a Hand of Fayte, says to him, fairly early on: "Despite your best intentions, kid, you can't save 'em all." Even with that in mind, the Avatar series is going to turn plenty of universes on their heads. *evil grin* But, still, this one story is one I can't really touch (though the pairing is well done, and I may inspired for something similar when the Bureau crashes teh FF8 reality. xD) And the full force of those words, from one of the characters in my head to another, really hit full force. And so, oddly enough, I get an epiphany, of sorts, from the most unlikely of sources. Hopefully, I can use this in my own writing.

Even with this realization, there will be a lot of the Crimson Avatar stretching himself to the breaking point to "take the hit", as it were. He, like myself, is more than willing to step into the line of fire if it shields his friends from harm.

And so, my introspective moment becomes a chat about my up and coming fic. Oddly fitting, as it was a fic that started this. Thanks to Chendzeea Li for such a wonderfully thought-provoking piece of work. Go check it out. It's worth your time. ^_^

-Zero, out (of the usual things. ^_~)

P.S. - The song I mentioned? The one I'm listening to right now, which is Saliva's Click Click Boom. Granted, the scene involved Rav having to fend off some of the baddies he has to deal with constantly (they either follow him or vice versa). But that part, after the rescuing and all, involved rock'n'roll, martial arts and a special pincer-style attack from the Crimson Avatar and Bahamut ZERO (my favorite summon attack of ALL time, GIGA FLARE). So yea. Maybe I'll wirte it up for the hell of it. If I do, I'll post is somewhere and provide a link. Ja ne!

Mod that Mech!

/RANT [17 Mar 2007|06:44am]
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | Star Salzman - Tatsumakisenputronic (SF 2 Remix) ]

A head's up: profanity ahead. Thou hast been warned... )

There. Now to sleep off my headache in preparation for the celebration of my Irish heritage, also known as Saint Paddy's Day! xD


-Zero, out (of stuff. ANd LOTS of it...T-T)

Mod that Mech!

D'oh! [05 Feb 2007|02:07am]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | None at the moment...^_^; ]

I'm still here! I swear! Nothing really noteworthy of late, really...

Worked at Jackson-Hewitt, but will be unemployed, soon. Was hired as a temp, really...>.<

>sigh< Back to the hunt...>.

Mod that Mech!

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