Warriorprincess' Journal

I've gathered a number of life lessons from Red Cliff 2. I have a better understanding of battles and wars mentioned in the bible. God plays a huge role in controlling nature for His people to win battles and wars. I also saw how important it is to marry knowlege with passion.

Passion without knowledge is dangerous while knowledge without passion is useless.

More than ever, Im grateful for God, for my husband and friends who stood by me. 2009 will be fresh and exciting, its not going to be as painful as 2008. Lord, I trust in You!

It's been some time since I woke up at five am plus and hurry to school. 2 days ago, that happened.

Half my mind was in the response of the students. Will they understand? Will they enjoy themselves? Sitting in a taxi, I was imagining the flow of the talk while scripting my main message. Despite the stress, this is an affirmation to me - I want to do this. Something like that trains my confidence and ability to communicate. I believe in what I do, therefore I want to tell people about it. This belief causes confidence to arise in me and overtakes my fear.

With a project at hand and a major blooper that happened along the way, deadlines are tight. I pray and believe God is faithful to straigten the path. He builds His house. We exist because His heart is for His people. The 'thing' about 'selling' is...you need an element of faith regarding KPI. I thank God for the little rooms in office, where I can have privacy to kneel and pray to him in times of stress. It helps to clear my mind and it gives me affirmation.

I thank God that He, unlike me, is right on time, everytime.

This 2009, if there is anything I seek for, it is a right theology of God.

Flipping the pages of Rev Edmund Chan's 'Intimacy with God' revived my desire for prayer and changed my paradigm about some parables, which has been commonly misinterpreted. Context is key to a new dimension and a clear theology.

2008 was a struggle. As I reflect, I'm surprised at where I am standing. Somes choices that hubs and I made were never part of our agenda, it happened because we believed that was the best step for us. I still stand at a place where I believe God will prove our innocence. I also came to know difficult times are litmus tests for friendships. I have learnt never to listen to a one-sided story and to find out before concluding. Pre-mature conclusion could lead to missing out the truth. This applies in theology as well.

For 2009, Im claiming this verse as God's promise to my household - Haggai 2:9 'The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,' says the LORD Almighty. 'And in this place I will grant peace,' declares the LORD Almighty."

I love how we sat together on the uncomfortable sofa last night
Pouring out our unhappiness about each other, to each other.
I love how you unzipped your heart, turned it upside down and made every thought tumble out.
I love how we knew what really happened and how we decided to move on.
I love how open the conversation was and I love how it went.

Though we have fights aplenty.
At times, I think they are a tad too serious.
But I love how they are part of threads in the fabric of our relationship
Threads that interwine, they bind

Let God settle it will you?
In a swing of His hands
He'll set them to place
Though we see not
I believe He never is blind

In the mean time, won't you come.
Come fly away
Or alongside
with me

Yes, despite some nights away
many storm-off sessions
and breathless sobs
I. love. you.
I love you.

Can't belive what Im experiencing. Friendships over these years can't even withstand the test of words.

Have they ever asked me what actually happened?

We did nothing wrong. This is not fair at all. Being accused of being something we are not, having false witnesses, then there are people who just go around echoing what they have heard. All we wanna do is to speak up.

I thank God for opening my eyes to help me to see who my true friends are.

3 weeks...and counting...away from the old environment. The first 2 weeks was painstakingly hard. Like they all say "Home's where you belong". BUT! Thank God it's better today. Hubs did not tag along as he was on reservist. Thank God for friends.

God's amazing, I was telling God that I hope to see my cousin, but knowing the crowd, it was almost impossible. But there she was, having a tete-a-tete. I had to disturb her and grab her no. so we could meet up for a cuppa. I love the sight where the shutters open and people rush in to book seats, speaking of spiritual hunger. It's an good atmosphere to be in! =D

I'm seriously narrowing down my search for a degree and will very likely take it up. The modules seem interesting and I secretly felt it was customized for me. Heh heh. Since hubs would be in camp for 4 days, I'm bunking over @ mommy's! Hurray!

At work, deadlines are back to back and I'm praying that everything will go well. May people continue to be generous in the midst of economic crisis. God will build His house! =D

Lord,

Please just let people's heart be open to hear words that are said and not interpreted by themselves. Please let everything end in peace.

Please let the truth be out. Iron out misunderstandings.

This is not right. God is sovereign and we should have a common enemy. Our target is not each other.

Please let this craziness come to an end.

In Jesus Name,
AMEN

The decision has been made. Only after a tele-conversation I've initated out of goodwill and obedience for a respectable man. I've never been more affirmed of this decision to a question that lingered for months. I know I've made the correct choice. My conscience is clear.

It's not going to be easy for hubs and I. Despite the reprecussions of the decision - a confused mind and a painful heart, I know that we've done the right thing. It's really for the benefit of everyone.

Till now, I cannot fathom the impatience of well-meaning people. The deed matters but the heart needs time to heal and recover. If the heart has not been healed, how then, will correct deeds come forth? I have always believed and seen patience as the mark of a person who truly wants to minister.

Will a person speak, only to be snubbed?
Will a person speak again, only to be misunderstood?
It is my firm belief if one says "If you have any misconceptions about me, clarify with me.", but behaves likewise when clarification comes, no one will ever come to the one. If one makes such a claim, one should prepare himself/herself for clarifications. Because body-language speaks louder than words.
And the one who makes the claim have to live it out.
I believe, human beings still has the liberty to speak to their confidante, lest depression sets in.
If someone confides in you, you have more than a friendship. You've earned the person's trust.

I digress...Now that im in the midst of transition, I'll be able to do things I've wanted. Like learning a new language, going back to dance, taking my degree, upgrading my skills. The possibilities are endless, time is indeed a luxury. I can spend time with God, de-clutter my wardrobe and do some housekeeping and plan 2009.

In 2009, I'd like to set healthy boundaries. Emotional, financial, physical (health). Most importantly, I'll like to get my heart healed from the disappointment, disgust and pain and I'd want my relationship with God to be closer.

I did this in the name of a good laugh....this is obviously not true. And I DO NOT believe in the horoscope crap.

This article is sent to me by a colleague of mine through friendster...Please read

Message:
Finally, some 80 plus hours of grueling and painful waiting, the painful decision had to be made to cancel the rescue of my uncle, Mr. Heng Yeow Peow. He is my Father's younger brother, and we are closely attached in our family. Being the last man standing inside the tons of debris at the nicoll highway disaster, he truly has done my family really proud. It is definitely hard to accept the fact that we have just lost a close kin, yet it is definitely very consoling that hear that he actually saved 8 other individuals from the site before he perished with the dust and concrete to save more. It was hard for everyone of my family when the officials and authorities broke the news to us that they had to cancel the rescue operation due to the heavy rain, which seeped into the earth making it soft and moving. It totally makes a lot sense to anyone to continue the rescue, allowing soil to move and cause golden mile to be torn apart. So instead of rescuing my uncle, the rescue operation had to be cancelled. Cement with then be used to fill up the cave-in to stabilize the earth. Although it is hard to accept the fact that my uncle is going to be buried alive, we had to give in, as one couldn’t be more selfish so sacrifice so many lives just for one. Tears were hard to he held back and pain couldn’t have been worse, as we went to the actual site and try to feel for him one last time. His kids started crying and shouting for their Dad’s name as the priest conducted the ritual, hoping that he will get a better afterlife. Then, complications arose. His body could not be found, meaning that in the eyes of the law, he is not dead. He is just a missing person, so the death certificate cannot be given, causing insurance claims to be voided. Only after 7 yrs, the law will prove that my uncle is dead and compensation will be held over. But the consoling fact that he saved 8 others reminded us of how brave he was at such a situation. Things were just not meant to be and his time on earth is just up. At least, he lived this life well and left the beautiful world with no regrets. Rescue operations were very difficult and dangerous due to the unstable and complicated criss-crossing of concrete slabs and steel rods. He might be some 31 metres below the surface. Any slight movement of the things inside might cause the things to further collapse, endangering rescuers life. It is all over and it has been finalized. By tml, they will start to fill the place up with cement. I am in total regret that I never had a chance to tell him how much I loved and treasure him. So remember to tell your loved ones and remind them how much they actually mean to you. Accidents can happen anywhere and anytime, make sure you are ahead of them and made your feelings to your loved one too. Anyway, next time, if u happen to pass by nicoll highway, remember that there was once this hero who sacrifice himself to save 8 peoples' live buried some 30 meters below the ground.
Peace out. Danny

Two points stood out in this passage
1- This 'hero' is not a christian

Let's face it, everyone wants good people to go to heaven and the evil ones to go to hell. But eternity does not operate this way.

Scenario: Guy A murders Guy B. Guy B is a good family man who loves his children and his wife with all his might. Guy A is a murderer. Guy B is a non christian when he dies. Guy A receives Christ in prison. Guy A goes to heaven, Guy B goes to hell. This is not my self generated crap.

John 14:6
Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

I salute the generousity and the selfless love of Mr Heng. His gesture is certainly very moving and I dare say that even if a christian is to be in his position, he may not have done what Mr Heng did. My heart broke into pieces when I realised that Mr Heng does not believe in Jesus. I could hear my silent scream to God. "Why Lord? Does it have to be this way for this selfless gentleman? Is there another way?" I could hear the cry in God's heart, I'm sure God did not want Mr Heng's life to end this way as well. Yes, no matter how good or wonderful a person is, as long as he does not believe that Jesus has died for his sins and that he is a sinner, he is not able to come to the Father.

Let's spread the truth to every living human being on earth, shall we? Let's not forfeit the work of the cross in their lives. Jesus did not die in vain. I can type a million sentences but I can never bring forth the full intensity of the love of God and the truth of Jesus' death. It has to be felt by christians. To me, the burden to save the lost is like an unpolished and uneven rock in the depths of my heart. It is already tearing part of my heart and the rock is about to fall. I don't know what does this mean but I know Christians have a lot of praying and evangelising to do.

2- Tell your loved ones you love them before it is too late

Sometimes, telling your loved ones the truth once beats telling them "I love you" a million times. Need I say more?

Go! Christians! Go!
God is on our side!!!!