Yes. My exam is around the corner. Prob in less than 20 days and I have only touched 4.5 pages. Am still rather confused about chromosomes, DNA and genes. Am just not quite the science student.

To pass my papers, i have resolved to not blog and read blogs and fashion webbies till end November. This is my no-choice-but-I-have-to-resolve resolve. So farewell for now Bonitochicco, Tavi Gavinson and Karen Cheng. We shall renuite after the 19th. But for today, I'll blog to my heart's content.

Bonitochicco always fascinates me with stunning and economical buys. But sadly, the last 2 collections were disappointing. =(

This is the first friday cell I had in my entire life. Cell for Hubs and I is originally a sunday-after-service activity but now it's a friday-after-work thingy, for good reasons. PTL! CG today was about giving, and about obdience is better than sacrifice. Thank God for arresting my heart once again.

Lasik was supposed to be yesterday but my workload was so heavy, I've pushed the lasik appointment to end November. Something to look forward to after my exams...I've been taking pictures of myself with and without glasses, and goggling hairstyles that will suit my post-lasik face. Was so sick of my self-obsession, I felt disgusted.

Don't know what overcame me, I don't normally have idols. But I have recently been besotted with Koo Hye Sun and Kim Soo Eun of Boys over Flowers (korea edition), Allison Harvard of ANTM and Vogue Korea.

Koo Hye Sun


Kim Soo Eun


Allison Harvard


Thank God for the exam. I'll put a stop to this obession. Tonight.

Thought my blog needed some pictures. So I randomly picked some of my faves.


The first plant in my home that I actually like. Unlike Hubs, I'm not a very 'plant' person


I like to see Hubs with babies =D


Speaks to me. Always.


One of our fave moments during honeymoon. We still felt like we were rafting when we were about to sleep at night!

My first job was a Customer Relations Officer at a company that deals with energy and electricity. There, i met 2 very interesting ladies - Jiayi and Lipeng. Though they left TPS shortly, a friendship formed amongst us. That was more than 5 years ago and till now, we still keep in touch.

Just last Friday, Jiayi and I went to Lipeng's house to visit her baby. Baby Adelyn has a cheeky face and is such a bundle of joy. Jiayi was also sharing about her little girl Jovelle and her woes of being a working and studying mummy. I was laughing at their stories till they both scared me out of my wits with their birth experiences. There seems to be no painless way! Natural birth. Cesarean. Epidural. Laughing Gas. Vacuum. Forceps. Oh, good grief!

They look, sound and behave differently - now that they are mummies. There is a sense of pride, joy and maturity. I guess that comes with motherhood. Somehow, our conversations are getting more in-depth as our friendship matures. I'm enjoying them a lot more than before. We hung out till late at night and laughed a lot.

So now I have another 2 buddies urging and encouraging me to pop a little one.

We'll see... =)

Date:	2009-10-14 22:15
Subject:	Grateful
Security:	Public
Mood:	grateful

Blogs
Well, besides reading pau's blog, I have been reading some Singaporean artistes' blogs lately. Eg: Nat Ho, Joanne Peh, Felicia Chin, Rebecca dunno-what's-her surname and even David Gan's!

I personally like Joanne Peh's blog because it is really interesting. I like the way she writes. Another blog that I enjoyed reading was surprisingly, David Gan's. I always felt David Gan is SG's 'hair magician'. I also know that never in my life, will I be able to afford his service or have him touch my tresses unless Im rich and famous. I've always felt that I cannot relate to him. But when I read his blog, I realised that he has a kind heart and can be quite funny, I personally think that he has very good fashion foresight.

Fashion
A friend recently recommended the clothes at http://bonitochico.livejournal.com/. It's a hidden treasure! Not only are the clothes very preety, they are also very affordable.

http://i709.photobucket.com/albums/ww91/violaerin30/aDSC_1220.jpg
I've just bought this! I like the happy colours and the fact that $28 includes both the dress and belt.

I've also bought sunnies that cost $5 from a pushcart from Cineleisure for my post-lasik recovery. Im pleased with the purchase of my round-neck cardigans.

My 'Must Haves'
Organiser
Ever since I've started work at my current job. An organiser to me, is like an Apple gadget is to an Apple evangelist. I love my 2009 Hello Kitty organiser, but as this year comes to a close, I need a 2010 organise because my colleagues and I are already looking into next year's projects! AHHH! Hope I don't suffer from a burnt-out.

My organiser has to be of a certain size, has to be light, has to be interesting (not the black kind), must have ample writing space and must be in a certain format.

I'm glad that the search has ended today! At $25, Kinokuniya has an organiser that met my requirements. Though I wish the cover could look more 'luxe', the current organiser has pictures that are very significant to me =). So Im still very happy.

Perfect Eyesight
Another 'must-have' is lasik. And I'll be doing my lasik at Eagle Eye Centre at Mount Alvernia. Since my sight has worsened (as if it is not bad enough), it wouldn't be economical to settle for another pair of glasses. I spend an average of $300 on a pair of spectacles, all thanks to my lenses.

I'm tired of getting other people to choose glasses for me. I cannot see how I look with the chosen glasses until the day the glasses are ready. It's been like that for years. I'm also tired of differentiating the shampoo from the conditioner when I bathe.

So lasik is the best alternative! Eagle Eye Centre has been tried and tested by my colleagues and brother and has passed with flying colours! I look forward to wake up in the morning with perfect eyesight. =)

I recognise that without God and his blessings, I can never have the above. So I thank God for His provision.

Yes Lord, I look forward to another year with You. Thank you for being so kind to me. May I never take You for granted.

And so there were comments here and there. Everyone has everything to say on any medium.

Frankly, I used to be very bothered by comments and I'll let it reside in me for a while. Maybe I found my identity was in people's comments/ thoughts? I could have anchored my confidence in their impression of me? Even if I was minding my own business. Even if the comments wasn't meant for anybody. People talk.

This is afterall my blog...So now. I just CBB. My focus is on my faith, family, friends and work. Okay, to be very honest, comments will still hurt. But I'll make it a point to not let them sink into me and dictate my being and mood.

Am currently working on an assignment about nature versus nurture. It's amazing how the brain works, especially a child's brain. Im surprised learning patterns are formed at such a tender age. Through this assignment, I am also amazed at how much God had lifted me through the years. If not for the grace of God, I shudder to think what I would have become now. The effects I've went through was more than physical hurt, it actually afffected my thought patterns as well.

God is really really very good. The way He heals is two-fold. More than just giving me the strength and love to forgive, God has also been changing my mindsets through circumstances and through His word.

When I read my past entries during my poly days/ when I stepped out to work, I cringe. There was so much angst in me. I think I was feeling lost. My temperament was like a pendulum gone wrong, my emotions were too intense because I was desperately wanted to know who I am.

I'm glad I took this module because it has also helped me to be more precise when it comes to praying for inner healing. There is a difference when I pray to the point. Think there is an over emphasis of human beings making correct choices to dictate who we are today. I came to realise that being in the right environment matters to a person, and especially to a child. There should be a healthy balance of choices and environment.

I'm glad the search for who I am has come to an end. I have God to thank. Because anywhere in Him is where I belong.

Acts 17:28 aptly puts it - For in Him we live and move and have our being.

Date:	2009-10-03 21:43
Subject:	Off the green
Security:	Public
Mood:	grateful

In the blink of an eye, our last major event was two weeks back. Hope I'll not rest on my laurels and will brace up to do well for the next project.

Thank God once again, for another successful event. Pray that we'll not take His blessings for granted.

Yesterday the cell group had a mini lantern festival party and the setting really reminded me of the past kind of gathering- I was in the midst of a deja vu moment. Had to battle with all sorts of thoughts there and then. It was tough, I think I overcame the emotions. Praise God!

Hubs is off to KL for work and I miss him to bits. Everyday, Hubs will do/say something hilarious and I'll have a good laugh. I miss him, though its been less than 48 hours.

It is such a small world. At the party, I met someone who tried to reach out to me years ago. And now we are going to be cell members! Time really flies.

These verses came hours after receiving a letter. I am comforted and I know the Lord will take care of His sheep - no matter where and/or how scattered they are.

Jeremiah 23:3-4
3 "I myself will gather the remnant of my flock out of all the countries where I have driven them and will bring them back to their pasture, where they will be fruitful and increase in number.

4 I will place shepherds over them who will tend them, and they will no longer be afraid or terrified, nor will any be missing," declares the LORD.

Words cannot express how comforting verses 3 and 4 are at this point in my life. I thank God, and am immensely grateful to Him.

Bind hubs and my heart as one as we weather through tough times. We have come thus far as one. And now that you have bound us closer than before, Lord, I pray that we will not give up if there is another ruckus. I pray that we will persevere to give our all to you.

Give us wisdom to answer questions.
Protect us from lies sown against us.

Lord, we praise you for everything - be it good or bad.

Because we know that in all things You work for the good of those who love us, who have been called according to our purpose.

Because you are God and You are just.

In Jesus' name, Amen!

Cleared my 1-day time-off on Friday and spent time dusting shelves, vacuuming and mopping . I could have done more...but I was so very tired. Can't believe I am still tired from the event, when almost everyone reached home at 1:30am! Hubs is very happy with the cleanliness of the floor and with how neat the house looks.

Stocked-up my fridge with fruits so hubs and I will not snack on unhealthy crackers. After all, we are getting old and it is important to take care of our health.

We went to our cell leaders' house for dinner. I brought fruit salad...again. Because I do not really know how to cook. I miss mummy's salmon with asparagus. If I can cook as well as her, I'll turn my skills into a business! My cell leaders' baby is so cute, she looks like a little hamburger. It was a good time of fellowship. Hubs and I look forward to a new beginning in the place we are worshipping now.

I believe God is not blind and He knows what has happened. God also knows what He is doing. Whatever is it, Hubs and I will coninue to trust Him.

I want to give thanks to God for scoring well for my minor module. Despite a kind-of heavy workload, God brought people to enlighten me and work with me. Without God's strength and His people, I wouldn't be scoring that well. =)

I have 1 minor and another major to go. May I perform in His joy, that translates to strength!

May I truly shine like a star and bring Him glory! =)

And so the event has passed. In a blink of an eye! It semed like yesterday when I cringe at the thought of it.

I'm happy that it is over! And most importantly, I'm very grateful to God that it went smoothly and very well! My day started at 5:45am, being driven in a rather big truck around Singapore, helping out with different roles, guiding a group of men! It is quite interesting doing something like this. I had a chance to speak to an ex-prisoner who is now the boss of his own company. Im very blessed by his testimony. God is indeed interested in healing hearts and mending families.

It was 11plus PM but everyone's spirits were high. We were counting till our fingers stunk and till our skin. turned grey. There were groups hollering for 'more' to count...even the big shots of the organisation rolled up their sleeves and dirtied their hands to 'work together'.

There was much to be done. One person can never finish the job. It took a community and for everyone to do their part to complete the 'masterpiece'. While we are just a little short of the target, I'm sure we'll meet the target in a few weeks! =)

May the Lord give us the wisdom to use the public's finances wisely, to meet the needs of His people, and to fulfil the cry He has for the destitute.

It's amazing how long I have not updated my blog. Im surprised I allow myself time to update it this period of time. Saturday is the big day and I pray that God's hand will be on this project. I pray that the administrative and logistical parts will go smoothly AND we'll meet our target. I pray that God will refresh everyone and keep everyone safe as they serve in the joy of the Lord.

Few weeks into school and I had completed 2 presentations and I...sigh...have missed a deadline for an assignment. I've forgotten that I've enrolled in the course. Guess I'll just have to pray that everything will be ok and be alert next time. I presented about the benefits of toddlers who learn sign language and how learning a new language can benefit the elderly.

From my research, I've realised how sign languages can help children to tackle the terrible twos and may even increase their IQ. I have even learnt a little sign language through the process.

Stats also proved that seniors who are monolingual are likely to get dementia when they are 71 while seniors who are bilingual will get dementia at 75. So learning a new lanugage can help to 'exercise' their brain. Thus, preventing dementia at an earlier age.

A simple point on a powerpoint slide must go through much research. I've learnt that providing the right info is ethical and respectful to your audience.

Life's basically work, study, hubby and praying for a baby for now. All with God in mind.

Im tired. But Im happy. =)

Date:	2009-08-10 16:33
Subject:	Bangkok and Sign Language for Toddlers
Security:	Public
Mood:	content

School has started and Im already wondering what I've gotten myself into. I thank God my classmates are a responsible and experienced bunch. They are all 30 and above, so I can learn a lot from their experience.

My presentation on Saturday ended. My topic was "Sign Language for toddlers". I realised that there are many benefits for toddlers to learn sign language. I slept at 4am just to finish this presentation, I hope that I'll do well in this. Was quite happy when my lecturer told me that it was an interesting presentation. I learnt how to sign "Hi, good morning everybody" just for this presentation.

Recently went to Bangkok with Hubs and his friends. It was a good break. The food was not bad, I like their beef noodle and fruits. As for shopping, it was great. I saw the 'entire' Far east Plaza in a certain mall in Bangkok. Don't think I'll want to buy anything from Far East Plaza anymore, except for the food.

=) Saw some photos. Im happy.

Date:	2009-07-05 23:32
Subject:	Putting myself in their shoes
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative

Recently, I had the opportunity to hang out with the deaf community and also, liase with the people who work with them. I learnt quite a lot about the deaf culture through interaction. Eg: a deaf person is not necessarily mute. It was also fun, picking up basic sign languages, eg: eat, toilet, happy birthday, girl, boy, hi, fierce. The deaf have also have 'slangs' for terms like 'facebook', especially places.

I've always thought a deaf person will really want to hear. But I was wrong. Many deaf do not see their inability to hear as a disability. They see being deaf as a culture, a way of life. It's like 'cantonese' or 'hokkien', they have their own 'language'. While the hearing aid is a good tool, many deaf do not really like it. Maintainence of the hearing aid is hard work and is expensive.

I also had the opportunity to interact with colleagues who have direct contact with other 'sectors' of the needy community. Many tell me things that I can never think of. I've seen impressive drawings and craft done by the intellectually disabled. I think its my honor to be part of them.

I used to be unhappy about the way some people work. But when I interact with them, I recognise that there are reasons for their behaviour. I could be less frustrated if I put myself in their shoes. I thought I already did. But I guess I need to try harder.

Surely, God uses ways to teach his people. I pray that I'll have a quicker capacity to learn His ways.

I have been thinking about past relationships and actions. Looking back, I see a lot of situations which could be different if I managed them wisely.

Nevertheless, the biggest freedom comes when I let everthing go to God.

I have a like-hate relationship with the gahmen. While I am very grateful for their 40% subsidy for my degree education. I hate how certain bodies linked to the gahmen have such ridiculous guidelines.

Having liased with one of the gahmen bodies almost made me vomit blood. I broke my record - by hollering over the phone...because it was so frustrating talking to a presumptous bird-brain. He made my blood boil and spoilt my appetite for lunch. His reasons and answers are so incredibly stupid that I was lost for words. Must be a freshie. I have evidence to back my cause and his stupidity. He can cc the world for all I care. Hmph!

I applaud the gahmen for making effort to help MRT commuters to be more gracious via the 'Be Gracious' campaign. But the commuters don't seem to get it. They are still trying to go into the train before people can come out.

They are still leaning their backs and butts on the grab-poles. The GRAB-poles are for hands to GRAB, so people can maintain their balance while the train gets jerky, not for butts and sweaty backs. So gross and inconsiderate. As for standing close to the doors and not moving all the way in, there seem to be an improvement now with the MRT staff shooing the commuters like pigs in a pig-farm. Haiz...why must we reduce ourselves to this state.

I feel better after blog-whining. Thank God for this blog. Heh heh.

Well, God is good. =) I'm looking forward to Friday, where I can meet Him during Encounter. I'm sure it'll be refreshing, and I am kind of glad that I'm going for Encounter alone. I really need time alone. Quite tired of people.

I know He is preparing me and I believe good things will happen! I also want to gain the right dose of confidence and self-love through Encounter.

My current projects are not really moving as fast as my first project. Im still hopeful and believing God for wisdom and drive to excute them.

Its so challenging to get money nowadays. While I can understand why people find it hard to part with their hard-earned money, it is also very hard to get the public to understand that bad press about some organisations do not mean other organisations have the same bad practice. At the end of the day, the lack of funds will only cause the needy to suffer.

Once again, I need wisdom to deal with the situation.

I thank God for God and my husband. Can't imagine life without them. =)

Date:	2009-05-17 23:24
Subject:	It went well
Security:	Public
Mood:	cheerful

Yesterday was part 1 of a project that I was very much part of. I thank God that it went well. My defination of going well lies in the upper management's responses and the transition. I was happy that they are quite happy too. I think the TIC was a little grouchy, but I'll just try my best to manage. Well...I think the TIC is just not a very events person and I hope they change the TIC next year. Hee hee.

Thank God for the smooth transition. From set-up to speeches to programs to buffet to saying 'bye bye'. The event was on Sat and on Fri, I was behaving like a kan-cheong spider despite everything was sort of set in place. I always kind-of loathe bosses who are hi-strung and snappy. Now I understand why they work this way, it's just the way they handle stress. As executives, our jobs are to help them and manage them. But I think it'll be good if bosses can learn how to manage stress well, it'll reflect very well on them.

Im still hopeful and praying for finances to roll in. I believe God will move and whatever it is, He is in control. Im very thankful for other sponsors. Just thinking of how sponsors enthusiastically gave made me close to tears. I know it sounds emo, but when I see everyone lend a helping hand to meet the needs of the needy. My heart feels overwhelmed.

Thank God for God. I will continue to believe that God will smile upon this project and that He is good.

I regretted not paying attention to the whole sermon today. Just as I was paying attention in the later part, I was soaked in his preaching. It was *smack!* - so good! The topic was about transforming the marketplace and the content was very relevant and spiritual at the same time. His voice is almost hypnotic. I think I will download the sermon online.

I'm looking forward to new things in my life. Praise God for his goodness!

People around me are pregnant, celebrating their baby's birthdays and getting married. Wonder if it's a stage of my life aka my age? Recently, a colleague brought her 1-month old baby over. Sigh. He's so cute =) But when she went into details of how the cute lil boy came out, the mummies in my department started sharing their birth experiences. I was horrified! I sneaked back to my work station thereafter.

2 days ago, my husband's grandma held my hands and pointed to a picture of a baby girl. Then she started speaking in Hainanese, which I obviously do not understand. I knew she was asking me when I'll be having a baby. I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders. Wah...now im a bit stressed.

Few days ago, my in-law asked my mum if I intend to have a kid. My mother asked me questions about family planning. I shrugged my shoulder again.

How do I know if I am ready for a baby? And, seriously, baby-making is unlike slotting a 10 cent coin into a public phone. "You put somthing in, and something comes out". You need to look at your ovulation period and plan and work at it. Such a hassle! For those shot-gun cases...they are just really 'sway' lor.

I really do not know how to react to their requests. But I thank God for a supportive husband. Our relationship will not be based on whether baby's coming or not. It'll be based on God's love and our love for each other. We'll take it as it comes.

Dear God, am I baby-ready? Am I mummy-ready?

Here's an interesting film...
Film Festival, Winner under the People's Choice category
Chicken A La Carte
http://www.cultureunplugged.com/play/1081/Chicken-a-la-Carte

Wisdom teeth operation was quite painful, to be honest. Though I was awake throughout the entire surgury, I didn't feel extreme pain. The pressure and 'drilling' kind of noises were quite overwhelming. I was tearing throughout the surgery. The dentist was very nice. He was saying comforting words like "It's ok angela. You are in good hands." It made me feel like "Im really in good hands." I kinda suspect he did not administer anesthesia equally. The left side of the gums was in pain and the right side was very numb. The communication between the nurses at Woodlands branch and the Bugis office is quite jia lat.

After operation, my face swelled like a gardenia slice - it was square and puffy. It hurt to talk so I was silent for the next 2 days after my operation.

5 days into operation and my face is still a little swollen but the swell and pain has subsided a lot. I'll be working tomorrow. Felt that I have not rested enough.

I'm going to try to cook spaghetti, pasta, japanese curry and soup for dinner. Really hope it'll go well because this will be the first time I'm cooking a meal. I hope i'll cook as well as mummy so when my kids come along one day, I'll be able to cook sumptous meals for them =)

I appreciate my new cell group. The leader is motivating and it makes me want to serve God again after many months of a 'stand-still' in my Christian walk.

I was disappointed with God, with people and especially with myself for trusting people. It was a period of sobering because I finally saw through some of the so-called respectable people - the skeletons in their closets are repelling.

It's tough. But I believe God can do it again.

Date:	2009-04-23 22:06
Subject:	Medisave....wha???
Security:	Public
Mood:	grumpy

Turns out that I need lotsa cash this month.

$800 - extract 2 wisdom teeth by a specialist.
I pay $800 is after deduction by medisave...what the???! What's there to save when I have to spend $800! The medisave dental package makes it compulsory to buy 2 mouthwashes! "I'm sorry mdm, it's the MOH regulation." Roll eyes. It should be called 'Medi-fleece'.

$500 - a provisional offer cum non-refundable deposit by SIM for degree.
Such crap! That's the wierdest way of squeezing money. Try harder next time.

All these money-grubbers. No wonder they have money to go for boring golf sessions and high teas.

Sigh. Im turning into a grouch.

Date:	2009-04-22 10:18
Subject:	I cannot retain that bit of wisdom
Security:	Public
Mood:	awake

I look ridiculous. Half my face is puffed up like a char siew bao, the other part is slim. The reason for the puffiness is because of my wisdom tooth is growing in the wrong direction, making it almost impossible to brush. As such, my wisdom tooth is decaying, causing my gums to swell.

It's annoying because I cannot extract my tooth NOW. Every now and then, the tooth gnaws against my gums and I roll my eyes in irritation. I could only open half my mouth and I eat so slowly, I gave up eating and started drinking tea, ribena and porridge. I've gotten bored of them now. There is nothing new I can eat. I wish I was on a drip.

Im going for my X-ray so the dentist can figure our how to get my wisdom tooth out. After extraction, I need to take a compulsory 5 day MC, during which, I can't talk.

I'm praying for God's intervention because I hope to work and talk in no time.

Date:	2009-04-18 16:57
Subject:	Thanksgiving
Security:	Public
Mood:	grateful

For quick sponsorship
For more $ coming in
For a doting husband
For good colleagues
For the opportunity to worship
For patience
For grace

You were there to cushion me Lord, just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore.

Help me to count my blessings =)