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Sun Yan Zi - Wo Ye Hen Xiang Ta |
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Nowadays, I don't really know what to write in my blog anymore. It's like time just keep going on and on, day by day, night by night. And yet, i felt i accomplished nothing much. Yes, i do work, i still go to school.. I figured it must be due to that recurring loneliness in me that's really "bugging" me. Loneliness is too strong a word, maybe just.. "hoping-for-more"
Some things have changed for the past few days (like what doesn't), and i find myself thinking and thinking about things that are happening in my life over and over again. I doubt it's call "worry", nor "excessive-thinking"; but i "know" i'm sleeping and thinking about something at the same time! Something like when you're half awake. I just hope that i'm growing to be a better, wiser, happier person everyday.
I do not mean "happy" as in always in a state of joy 24/7. I would define "happy" as the person who dare to feel what he/she is feeling. Dare to feel anger, hate, pain, love, joy; someone who dares to embrace their emotions instead of driving them deeper underground - into the very depths of their heart (and explode one fine day when the "emotional-burial-ground" is full). It's someone who is willing to grieve freely, love freely, embrace anger, look at envy and have insight on what you are actually feeling at the moment - all from a healthy perspective; which makes a person truly happy.
Just read a book called "What About The Big Stuff" by the author who wrote "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff" It's quite a nice read, gently provoking my thoughts on life.
"Many people rush to grow up, and get old wishing they were younger" - Enjoy NOW. Now is the word, not the past, not the future. Don't push back what's really important to "another day"
Imagine you are trapped in a burning building that is going to collapse any moment; and you have your mobile phone with you. Who would you call? Your boss telling him/her you can't make it to work anymore? Your lecturers telling him/her you can't pass up your project? Or your stockbroker (if you have one), to sell your stocks?
The answer is obvious, you would call someone you love - be it a friends, family member or a bf/gf telling your time is going to be up soon, telling how much you loved them.
Ask yourself this question - "Who would you call, and what would you say if you are trapped in a burning building that's going to collapse any moment?"
I spent some time thinking about it. Although the chances of you stuck in a burning building that going to collapse is like one-in-a-zillion. But who knows, you might just get struck by lightning (God forbid) the next moment.
Don't live for tomorrow. Live for today.
This is a brief excerpt from the book....
There is so much we can learn from the big stuff in our lives. Whether it's something happy, such as a wedding, a new a baby, or a celebration of some kind--or it's something unhappy or tragic, and accident, illness or death--there are always important lessons that can enhance our lives, and, if we pay close enough attention, have the potential to transform our world, one person at a time
I was sitting with a friend at lunch about ten days after the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon. With tears in her eyes, she said,"Did you noticed that not a single person on any of the hijacked planes who had the opportunity to make a phone call called their stockbroker?' Far from being facetious, she was making an obvious but very important point. When the stakes are high, only one thing matters: Love. No one is concerned about their weight or the way they look. They aren't upset that life isn't perfect. They aren't fretting about high taxes, the liberals or conservatives, previous conflicts, disputes with neighbours, or a lack of parking space. They don't care about the rate of return on their investment portfolio. They aren't focused on any of their grievances. Indeed, the only thing that matters, when it really matters, is love. The question is, "why do we treat life as if it doesn't matter right now?"
Christopher Morley was right on target when he said, "If one were given five minutes' warning before sudden death, five minutes to say what it had all meant to us, every telephone booth would be occupied by people trying to call up other people to stammer that they loved them"
Weddings reminds us of the importance of love. It's always nice to see couples attending weddings, hand in hand. It's as if the ceremony in honor of another couple has the effect of connecting us to one another. It reminds us of our loving feelings and encourages us to reflect on the nature of love and relationships. Wouldn't it be nice to see those same couples walking hand in hand more often? Why don't they?
A friends once shared with me that when she had her a baby, both her parents were present at the hospital, You might think, "What's so unusual about that?" It was unusual for her parents, however, because they hadn't spoke to each other in more than ten years. The birth of their grandchild brought them together. They spoke, almost like long-lost friends. The bitterness and awkwardness softened and was replaced with a reverence for the gift of life and love. There was no efforts involved. Neither one was trying. All that happened was that both of them realised that there is so much more to life than the petty things that keeps them separate. Wouldn't it be nice if we could remember this on a day-today, moment-to-moment basis? What's to say we can't?
In an earlier book, I told a story about Jim & Yvonne, who were unhappily married for more than thirty years. One day they were given the news that Jim had cancer. What was really interesting was that, before knowing this, the two of them lived side by side in an almost constant state of irritation. Both were bothered and dissatisfied a great deal of the time. Jim said that their love for each other had been lost many years earlier.
You've heard similar stories before, but it's worth repeating it here. The moment they found out about the tumor, both of them experienced a sudden shift in the consciousness. Very simply, they had a change of heart. The anger, bitterness, and impatience were instantly replaced with a sense of love and perspective. They realized that beneath the superficial and self-destructive habits they had developed, they really did love and need each other.
Had their love really had been lost? If so, where did it go? Is it possible that the two of them had simply been focusing on the wrong things and that it took a big event to wake them up? It's my feeling that the love they felt after discovering the life-threatening illness was always there for the taking. Is there some way that we can see this possibility in our daily lives, before being delivered bad news? Why not?
Big stuff also teaches (or reminds) us of life's short duration and preciousness. Attend any funeral, and what do you hear? Undoubtedly, there will be plenty of thoughtful (and accurate) reflection about how quickly life passes us by.
Not too long ago, i attended a high school graduation party in honor of one of my friends' daughter. The thing i remember most was the loving way in which so many people who know the new graduate for most her life said essentially the same thing, which was: "I can't believe she's all grown up. It happened so fast," One minute we are playing in the sandbox [Titus: Or Zero-Point]; the next minute, we;re finishing high school. Similar words were expressed at the last retirement party i attended, another "big" event. Friends and colleagues, as well as the honored guest, said words such as, "It seems like yesterday that Fred was working in the mail room. How did all those years go by?"
Why do we so often forget to enjoy the process of life while it's unfolding? Why are we so preoccupied with rushing through everything? Why are we in such an enormous hurry -- but then saddened when it's over?We rush to grow up and get through things--and then wished we could do it over again.Is there a way to slow down and enjoy the process? Is it possible that, if we were to do so, we wouldn't have the same regret?
The third gift, so often learned from the various big stuff, is the importance of kindness and generosity. It's awesome to witness the loving generosity exhibited after a painful tragedy [think tsunami]. The outpouring makes us proud to be human. People often give "until it hurts." After a tragedy, I've seen children put in their favourite toys in boxes and send them off to families in need. It's not at all uncommon to emergency personnel as well as everyday people doing extraordinary things, risking their lives to save others, often complete strangers.
Being kind and generous is so natural and brings us such joy. Is there some way we can bring that kindness and generosity to our daily lives? I believe we can, if it's a priority.
Whether we're personally involved or not, big stuff is all around us, all the time. I often think that big stuff is to "understanding," as school is to children. In both cases, the information is there, ready to take us to new heights. But it's also true that we must be willing to learn.
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And that's just one chapter out of 40 chapters in the entire book. For people who are interested, it's "What About The Big Stuff" by Richard Carlson. And it's available at the Singapore Poly library (I borrowed it there!)
Hmm, seems like i DO have something interesting to write.. =)
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