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I was required to do a feature writing on an event that changed my life in a class of mine. I ended up doing it during the date of submission inself, the last 3 hours. Haha. And I quite like what I wrote, even though it's not of publication material, but nevertheless very sincere. =P
So here goes.. an event that changed my life - "Goodbye Singapore, Hello America!"
I’m Titus. A 19 year old boy living in a small country called Singapore. Not very tall, not very short, not very fat, not very thin, not very ugly, not very handsome; just average, a little tanned though. I’m quite like many other people my age. I enjoy things that other people my age enjoys, like hanging out in town, chatting on the phone, playing computer games, going to the karaoke. But I face a not so common situation. Because I suffer from Aids in its third stage and I’m going to die before I hit 25.
Just kidding! I’m different from most of the people out there around my age simply because I stay alone, yes all alone, in a 4-room flat in Woodlands. Alone in terms of the number of homosapiens, but not really alone “technically” considering that I have a cat called Vovo. I have been staying all by myself since I was 17 going 18. A period many people call the “wild and young days”. But staying alone didn’t made me any wilder and younger, in fact, it’s been quite an enriching experience staying alone at this age of mine. Taking care of my phone bills, electricity bills, insurance premiums, and a whole load of other miscellaneous bills, groceries, laundry, studies and part-time job all at once. Why am I staying alone? Ah, that’s the story I’m going to tell you today – an event that changed my life.
I used to stay with my parents just like most of the people out there. I was the only child. Dad would bring in the money, and mum would cook and clean the house, and I would study. Sounds like a very normal family right? But things gradually changed during my secondary school days, when I was maybe around 14.
I was doing OK in secondary school. An overweight, bubbly, happy-go-lucky guy who couldn’t care less about my results. It was during secondary 2 when my dad would start to come home later and later. And as time goes by, he wouldn’t come home for days on end. It didn’t really mattered to me that time when he didn’t came home, it simply meant less nagging from him. In fact, sometimes I even prefer if he wasn’t around. But it was a different story for my mum, she wound start to ask him about his whereabouts, and he would always either say that he went to play mah-jong or that he was out with his friend. Like the usual woman-nags-at-man case, my mum wouldn’t just stop and believe at just that. She would ask him persistently - where he’s been, what he did, who was he with, and all sorts of details; and my dad, like the typical man would just find all these “interrogating” irritating and shrug it off. It would slowly become what I believe is a downward spiral of their relationship – my mum would ask, and my dad would find some excuse; then my mum would try harder to ask, and my dad would try harder to find some excuses to shrug it off. As time goes by, my mum slowly gave up and just decided to let him be.
To cut the story short, my mum discovered that he is having an affair outside through a mutual friend of both of them. She was told by her friend that they were spotted in a club. My dad finances took a down turn too, as he lost his job. He would ask money from my mum, giving reasons(excuses) that he needed the money to start a business, rent a cab to drive or invest in some stuff. He even resorted to taking money from my mum without her permission. Once, she got so mad when she discovered $600 missing from her pocket. She cried in front of me and told me between sobs and tears that she needed the money to pay off some bill…
But, my mum was a survivor. She decided that she is going to make it; with or without a man. She decided to fly overseas, miles east (technically speaking) to the west of the globe. She is going to work in the Land of Hopes and Dreams, New York City, United States of America. It wasn’t some glamorous job like some top CEO or director or even anything close to that. Not even a white collared job. She flied pass mountains and seas, rivers and valleys, to work as a maid, yes, a maid, but a high paying maid at that. She did a brief calculation and thought that it was going to be worth all the sweat, effort and of course, the heartache of leaving me and her home. She could make around US$1500 a month; an amount that an uneducated woman in her 50s in Singapore wouldn’t be able to make. She needed to do this to be able to pay for my school fees, housing monthly payment, to build up her future nest egg and all sorts of other things. Of course it was a conceivable idea simply because a whole load of her relatives are over there as well. There were around 8 to 10 members from her side of her family in Malaysia residing and working in the states. Just like her, they migrated over to earn the extra bucks. Some have been there for more than 10 years and even got married over there.
23rd June 2003, the day she left. We were at the Kuala Lumpur airport in Malaysia. She is going to take the flight with her younger sister. Her sister, just like her, is going to the states, leaving her two children aged 19 and 21 behind to join her husband over there. It wasn’t as melodramatic as I thought it would be. The trip to the airport in my uncle’s car was placid. Two women are going to leave their precious children behind in the name of livelihood. It isn’t really as bad as it sounds; somehow, we all knew that everything is going to be alright.
She is going to work over there, and I’m going to study; and one day, she will be back; I would have completed my polytechnic education and my National Service by that time. I will then work or continue my education in a University, and she will spend her time cleaning up the house (her favourite activity since she’s a clean freak) and cooking dinner for the both of us. 5 or 6 years isn’t going to be such a long time.
I took the coach back to Singapore all by myself, the first time in my life. I could still remember that I would sit near the window and mum would be beside me when I was a kid. She would bring me to Malaysia at least twice a year, usually around Chinese New Year or during the June school holidays; to visit her siblings and her hometown. She told me, the reason she came to Singapore when she was in her 20s, was to work; also around the time when she met my dad. Who knows that 30 years down the road, she would have to leave a place she made home once again to another country that spans miles across the pacific ocean for exactly that same reason. My coach travelled in the night. I couldn’t read a book, or do anything. I could only stare out into the tenebrific highway, with palm trees that appeared sporadically.
I reach old woodlands check point around 4 or 5 in the tranquil morning. I sat at the bus stop, taking in the morning air and the realisation that this is going to be the first day that I’m going to start staying independently. The feeder bus service haven started yet, so I decided to walk to a coffee shop opposite the road. I ordered some prata and sipped at my iced Milo. The future looks bleak.
It’s been almost 2 years since my mum left for the states. And whenever I tell someone the reason that I’m staying alone, I would get a whole wad of different reactions. Some sympathise me, some compliment me for being able to look after myself, and some even envy me because of the freedom that I have. But I would say that it is definitely an experience that made me a better boy; though sometimes bitter, but mostly sweet. As for the next couple of years, I would do my part to study and look after myself well in Singapore, waiting for the day when my mum and I would reunite again. In just a few years time, I would be able to spend Chinese New Year reunion dinner with her, having no need to do my own laundry again, having home-made dinner and having a dust free bedroom again! The future looks good.
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