| eh... |
[16 Oct 2003|11:38pm] |
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mood |
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 weird |
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music |
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none at the moment. |
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So today was kind of a long day. It was just one of those days where things are kind of slow and you wish they would end. I'm currently watching the Red Sox and the Yankees. I don't care much for baseball but I'm really pushing for the Sox in this one. I have poison ivy in my eye too. It's not fun. Laura told me the plants I were touching weren't poison ivy... well apparently they were because now up above my eye mother fucking poison ivy is growing! It's itchy! I talked to Chris tonight and he was still an asshole but he's kind of ok now. I asked for his address so I could mail him his sweatshirt back. Jilly and I made a plan to put bleach, amonia, and rat poison on it. Then right on the back with permenant black marker in big letters, "DRUGGIE FUCKER". Then mail it back. But, I want to just keep it now. He doesn't deserve it back. Ever. I'm tired and I want to go to bed. I think I will. It's too late and I'm too tired/lazy to put much else in here tonight. I gutta think of something more creative to do with this. I'm kind of getting tired of not knowing how to change my layout stuff. I could ask someone for help, but on second thought I probably won't. Shut up, so I wasn't.
Remain Dead
I wish I could put into words how I feel
I wish everyone would stop the questions
I don’t feel like explaining myself
I’m not ready or willing to talk about it
If you could look inside me for the moment
Nothing would be there
Empty and hollow
In my eyes you can see the lifelessness
I hate myself for the time being
So don’t ask me how I’m doing
Listening to everyone else’s trauma
Makes me want to die more
You can’t imagine what goes on inside my mind
Sometimes I wonder why I’m not gone yet
With everything that has gone wrong
I don’t know how I’m still breathing
Certain things won’t let me die
But I’m thinking I should betray them
Forget other peoples emotions
And think about my own
Years of hiding and lying
Have covered up the scars so well
Now you can see through me
And I don’t think it’s what you expected
Never did you imagine the scared insecure person
That lives inside of me
To come out and break free
Well it’s here and you’ve found my secret
I must cover my tracks and remain dead
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