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rawr, stupid snow! [07 Dec 2003|07:40pm] [ mood | cold ] [ music | Forget February - Though You're Gone ] "Stitched and Glued" - Stars Hide Fire Obnoxious your eyes speak lies tonight Can't stop these sensations u provide, I'm sick inside Infectious cancerous ties, keep my hands bound With hate and Pride Everything has changed These words I say take space up in my head I run to you With every passing day Those words repeat and ring out in my head I run from you You whisper in my ear... These fingers stretch out and revive Bloody with strength, they beat with pride Abrasions stitched and glued Fist clench and pounding with reprise These aspirins fail to sanitize These dirty hands from you Everything has fallen out and I won't be there anymore. 2 cried the blackest tears

And there really isn't hope for the two of us, but right now I give in [06 Dec 2003|02:26pm] [ mood | sympathetic ] [ music | cute without the e - Taking Back Sunday ] Last night was Cady's little get together. Good times. Before we went over I had to go to Laura's and babysit with her for 2 1/2 hours. That was fun :-D haha. Then we headed over to Cady's and people were there and then Ryan, TJ, and Dave came and stuff. Then they left, but Ryan came back. I wouldn't blame him if he hated me right now. Oh man, he had walked home in the freezing cold and it was like 3 miles at 12:00 in the morning. And then he had to go record today and he was complaining that his voice was going to not be at it's best and if it's not I feel really bad. I suck at life. Now it's snowing.. I hate the snow. I want to move somewhere where snow doesn't exist. I hate it. My fucking neck kills. It's bruised from something and it hurts when I touch the right side. :-( "Three Evils (Embodied In Love And Shadow)" - Coheed and Cambria Across the floor in the hand of where we drove the drill A cautious ear to the mouth of your confession Think of all the things we put him through In the face of his god would he tell the truth? Still recorded were the words that dribbled out his kiss When eyes go blind in this man of what could once become Sever the limbs off his torso in sleep And burn what remains so the world may now see No longer...will we wait for your answers Back to the hell where you've come from Think of all the times you've once had Write them in a letter that says goodbye You'll listen to reason while you're face down in the dirt You'll stomach the hurt and break for him here just how much he's worth Slowly discarded were the remains of his lonely youth Among the alley where the dwellers scare to notice Picture a young boy in pieces and streets with leveled malfunctions No name to be called redeemer I'll fix him restore him...with the love is no other Think of all the things you did before Write them in a letter that says reborn Following you across the interstate walking away...I'll fire on On the wrong way out On the causeway through to neverwhere Dear my friends in the time we spend forever after beyond this when will our nightmare ever end? Pull the trigger and the nightmare stops Forever you will, forever you will learn the blackest tears

Fucking A [03 Dec 2003|08:00pm] HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY KARINA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY CADY JONES! Wow.. I fucking hate my mom. First I get grounded for going out with Ryan and not telling her and now I can't go over to the fucking band practice. Why? Because Ryan's 18 and holy fuck.. according to my mom he's gunna rape me. And if I don't get to hang out with him tomorrow after school I'm going to be so incredibly pissed off. And I fucking hate it. She doesn't understand anything about me, neither of my parents know who I am. My brother's getting kicked out of the house pretty soon and I'm becoming too much of a problem. Fuck everyone. The only person I ever liked in my family was my brother and now he's getting kicked out and then he's off to college. My family is so dysfunctional, it's awesome. I'm so sick of this shit. I want to run away. I can't stand anyone anymore. I hate my dad too.. according to him I always lie. I never tell the truth and I'm a bad kid. I love it. I love it so much. FUCK. FUCK YOU. as you burn xX: my mom says I never do enough for her and she works so hard and she "deserves better" as you burn xX: and I'm like well... I'm sorry but I don't really care because it's not my fucking problem nothingmore9876: omg i hear that from my mom every frigan night and she calls me selfish, good for nothing, a freak, will amount to nothing ( thats my favorite) and many other joyous insults that just make me feel worse about myself than i already do as you burn xX: I know I'm so fucking sick of it. as you burn xX: It's like they want us to be perfect but all we get is yelled at when we try because it's not good enough as you burn xX: what the fuck is the point? nothingmore9876: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!! Today was good until about.. 15 minutes ago. My internet has been fucked lately. 1 cried the blackest tears

Hahahaha....? [30 Nov 2003|01:43pm] [ mood | loved ] [ music | I Remember You - Glasseater ] So my trip down to Maryland was kind of fun. It took 9 hours to drive. I had to sit next to my grandma the whole ride down so that sucked, but she's old and kinda funny so it was ok. When we got there we dropped her off at my Uncles where she was staying and then we went and checked into our hotel. It was kinda warm but still pretty cold. We stayed on the boardwalk and the room overlooked the ocean, it was pretty. The following days after that were not really important. Thanksgiving was.. Thanksgiving-ish. I was a complete bitch the whole entire time while I was down there. Wow... people suck because they suck at life. It's not anyone's fault but it's just not the same anymore. We both should of known what was coming. On Saturday we drove for 9 hours and then my dad dropped me right off at Laura's to spend the night. Oh how I missed New Hampshire. I never thought I'd actually miss it, but I did man. Shayla picked up Laura and me and we went to the Sad for fun times.... FUN TIMES. :-D hehehe Good bands too... good bands. Oh man, Shayla in the backseat with Danny... hahahaha. I never want to see that again! "I Remember You" - Glasseater Woke up to the sound of pouring rain The wind would whisper and I'd think of you And all the tears you cried, that called my name And when you needed me I came through I paint a picture of the days gone by When love went blind and you would make me see I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes So that I knew you were there for me Time after time you were there for me Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand Love letters in the sand - I remember you Through the sleepless nights and every endless day I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you We spend the summer with the top rolled down Wished ever after would be like this You said I love you babe, without a sound I said I'd give my life for just one kiss I'd live for your smile and die for your kiss Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand Love letters in the sand - I remember you Through the sleepless nights and every endless day I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you We've had our share of hard times But that's the price we paid And through it all we kept the promise that we made I swear you'll never be lonely Woke up to the sound of pouring rain Washed away a dream of you But nothing else could ever take you away 'Cause you'll always be my dream come true Oh my darling, I love you Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand Love letters in the sand - I remember you Through the sleepless nights and every endless day I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand Love letters in the sand - I remember you Through the sleepless nights and every endless day I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you 1 cried the blackest tears

That's so lesbian of you. [23 Nov 2003|08:45pm] [ mood | FUCK ] [ music | October Nights - Yellowcard ] I just looked back at my Blurty Entries from August. Then I thought about Chris Perren for the longest time. If I had the chance to pull him up off the edge of a cliff or let him fall to his death, I would absolutely let go of his hand. I didn't know it was possible to hate someone SO MUCH you want to cause physical harm to them. Every single ounce of blood in me despises him. Then I think back and I realize I wouldn't have known some of the awesome people in my life if I were with him.. so I think it's ok and for the better that he left. He just doesn't seem to go away. Everything reminds me of him, even the Italian guy at the jewlery store. Soccer balls, arcades, vegetarianism, sXe-ism, pink hair, dirty hair, boardwalks, oceans, life guard chairs, sand, cheap computers, benches, fried dough, the apartment, DC shoes, subway, air hockey, fun houses, care bears, the fucking smell of him, Rite Aids, lip rings, tattoos, bracelets, roller coaster simulators, sidewalks, alleys, every warm summer night, every summer from now on. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. Die. 3 cried the blackest tears

Don't waste your time on me you're already the voice inside my head [23 Nov 2003|12:35pm] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | Spice Girls on T.V. ] Last night Emmie, Laura, and I went to the Summit and saw Far-Away, Take Today, Finding Westerly, and Permanent Holiday. It was good. Bryan was there with his New York buddies, Ron, Jon, and Russ, very fun. I hate Bryan. He spit pixie stick in my eyes. Ouch. We had to leave early because Laura's mom got confused on what time to come. Oh well, so then we went back to Laura's and slept. I don't feel like writing anymore. I'm gunna go take a walk with Laura and Emily. 1 cried the blackest tears

rawrrrrrr [21 Nov 2003|11:56pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | Forget February - An Autumn Goodbye ] Oh man.. tonight was pretty interesting. Laura and I planned to go see a movie at 6:55 but Laura was babysitting and Kevin didn't get home till late and Donna left!!! So my mom drove us and we met up with Jen and Emmie. After that we didn't wanna see the movie so we walked around all night. First we went to Starbucks and the meds I took before I came made me all act funny, so I wasn't paying attention when I orderded my coffee and accidentally ordered the same thing as Laura but cold :-( It wasn't good either! Then we went to Claires and I bought Strawberry Shortcake gloves and gave Emmie the hat! haha. They're soooo cool. Cooler then your face. After that I think we went to Borders and we saw Nikki and I forget her name who we met at the Mest, GC, and SOCO show... While I was there I bought the new Coheed CD and now I owe Emmie $8.64 but hey, I'm just gunna give her $9. We walked back to the big open space thing outside of the movie theater and a big circle was formed... it was a break dance cirlce! It was crazy so we attempted to join in. Then rent-a-cops came over and were like.. "This is illegal." Then we beat boxed, I gave Nikki my cell phone number, and we said bye. Then I think we went to Marshall's and were being dumb and put on lots of hats and put on furry coats. After that fun little thing we went to KB toys, but we weren't too interested so we tried to go into Chuck E. Cheese... but guess what.. they wouldn't let us in because Jen didn't have her ID on her to verify that she was 18 *cough*. So then Jen was like, "I need a new cell phone charger." She didn't have money though so we had to go to Shop -n- Save and get money from the ATM and then when we get to the AT&T Wireless store their systems were down so she couldn't buy it. They suck. Then I think we went home.. but I really don't remember. It was pretty wierd because all night I was light headed and felt like I was gunna pass out ... but it was fun. Tommorow I'm going to see Finding Westerly and Permanent Holiday at the Summit. Yayyyy. I'm tired. "Insult To Injury" - Beloved (Us) Take in from this and breathe out open. Hug that uncertainty as long as you can. A once seizing, but now flailing and falling grasp at comfort's hand. A brash defense of confidence is seemingly overwhelming disappointment. Carry it on disconnected and drawn away from yourself. You buy more time with your lies. Running from mistakes that you've made. And when your time has been spent, you did not bother with your faith. It's like you were never alive. Your hope has died, but rest in this. We will fight for you. And show you we care for everything that matters to you. Promises held must have been lost or forgotten or buried under the broken glass beneath your window of opportunity. We will be the first to die and we will be the first to win. Your walls will fall down. We'll tear your walls down. the blackest tears

Meat eaters should all die. [20 Nov 2003|07:43pm] [ mood | shocked ] [ music | Something Beautiful - Cauterize ] www.meetyourmeat.com ooooohhhhhhh man the blackest tears

Baby, you make my heart beat faster [19 Nov 2003|04:18pm] [ mood | giddy ] [ music | Rich Girls theme song...ick ] Today was actually pretty good. Dan made Spanish enjoyable for me....oh man, Gabe is such a stoner. Hahahaha that kids too funny. Right before 4th period outside of the Field House, Casey Mouser decideds to throw a Gatorade bottle at the back of Cady's head... oh man, that was NOT a good idea. Cady went after her and they got into a fight. Cady got suspended for five days :-( The next five days are going to be sad. First Corey gets suspended now Cady Jones... oh man. I love you forever Cady Jones. hehe. Me and Jenny Fife and Drums got yelled at in Chorus.. haha she bit me sooooo hard. There's a bruise there now. Fun times, fun times. Date-A-Match is gay. I was on this kid's in my English class and he's all...,"Christina, you're on my list!" and I was like..,"No way.. that's .. fun." I don't like that kid.. he's scary. I almost won a thing in English for getting lots of questions right on this "semi-quiz" but "Kid-who-can-jump-really-high" beat me by one answer. Bastard. The show Rich-Girls really sucks. They're dumb. I wanna smack 'em. x0xJenniGurlx0x: ive come to the desicion you never fall out of love... x0xJenniGurlx0x: and if you do then you never loved x0xJenniGurlx0x: you only learn to cover up that part of your heart As You Burn xx: awwwww Fifey.. you're too cute :-D "Goodbye, Goodnight" - Mae The nights are getting colder. The red light's on, it's over. To give up now doesn't make much sense. So this is my goodbye. Surprised, because I thought I could walk you home tonight, but you're leaving me here on the defense. Goodbye, I'm not going to waste this time, this light that burns will keep on fading. Goodnight, I'm not getting up off of this ride, I'm holding tight until I can feel alive. I've written you this letter, got it back return to sender. But I just can't remember you being quite like that. Misunderstand, we're holding hands, we're at the beach, we're throwing sand. As the lights just go up all around us, I can't believe it's over. I'm sitting under falling stars. Do you miss me where you are? I'm making plans to be with you. But have they come unglued? What am I do to without you? The nights are getting warm again. They've let you go, I let you in. Everything you're saying sounds right tonight. The waves are crashing on and on. We're running even if we're wrong. This force is driving me to test the speed of light. the blackest tears

I'm sure you always feel my eyes on you. [18 Nov 2003|01:10pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | Good Charlotte - Riot girl (acoustic) ] I stayed home from school today. Haha. My mom didn't go to work today so we went to Dunkin Donuts then to Shop -n- Save and bought hair dye. I'm either gunna dye it tonight or tomorrow night. I get to leave for Maryland in a week. Thank god.. I hate New Hampshire. I like Marlyand, it's fun. The only thing that sucks is the 9 hour drive. It's worth it though. I don't like family gatherings.. they're stupid. Everyone's all happy and happy to see relatives and what not. I couldn't care less about seeing my family. Except I get to see my Uncle Joel and Aunt Nancy.. I like them so that's good. Heather is cool and so is Brent, Erik, and Kendra. Little babies are going to be there though :-/ Not too found of the little ones. At least I get to stay on the ocean. Yayyyyy!!! I love Ocean City.. it's pretty and the boardwalk is huge and what not. I get to miss next Tuesday too because I'm leaving at like... 5:30ish. We get the whole day off on Wednesday anyways so I'll only be missing one day and we probably won't get any long term assignments.. hopefully. I'll just get them on Monday. This year has gone by so fast...It's ok though, I didn't like 2003 that much. It was a pretty sucky year except for the summer and right about now. I wish it was summer... I hate the heat, but summer is one good time. Vacations and no school and all that good stuff. It will come soon though.. I hope. Christmas is almost a month away... that's pretty scary. Thanksgiving and Christimas are too close together... whoever made them that close is dumb.. we don't really have a big holiday in the summer... we should have Christmas in July or something. The fourth of July is pretty dumb and pointless anyways... but then we wouldn't be able to have a long Winter break so it's ok. It's starting to get TOO cold. I'm afraid it's gunna start snowing. If my school wasn't outdoors I wouldn't have a problem, but it is. So it's always cold walking to classes. Especially in the morning when I have to walk across campus twice. It sucksss... hopefully my schedule next half will be better. It better be. I'm bored... THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME: 01 | Drowning 02 | Driving over bridges 03 | Being alone THREE THINGS THAT MAKE ME LAUGH: 01 | My friends 02 | People getting hurt 03 | Benji and Joel commentary THREE THINGS I LOVE: 01 | Music 02 | Cady Jones 03 | My friends THREE THINGS I HATE: 01 | Fake people 02 | People who lie 03 | Using improper English THREE THINGS ON MY DESK: 01 | Clock 02 | Random CDs 03 | Red Sharpie THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW: 01 | Watching T.V. 02 | Listening to FATA 03 | Biting my nails THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE: 01 | Go to Australia 02 | Walk up to a guy and start making out with him 03 | Take a road trip to California with Cady Jones and Laura THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY: 01 | Sarcastic 02 | Bitchy 03 | Mean THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO: 01 | Play the drums 02 | Wink 03 | Get up in front of a crowd and dance THREE BANDS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO: 01 | Cauterize 02 | Fall Out Boy 03 | From Autumn to Ashes THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS: 01 | Seafood 02 | Pastaaaa (Laura..hahaha) 03 | Anything Vegetarian THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN: 01 | How to make 14 inch liberty spikes... 02 | mmm play drums (so I can say.., "Guess what!? I can play the drums!!") 03 | To not get mad at people for no reason THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY: 01 | diet coke 02 | water 03 | chocolate milk 2 cried the blackest tears

uhhhh..... [17 Nov 2003|10:50pm] [ mood | nervous ] [ music | Billy Talent - Try Honesty ] I'm so bored. I've decided I'm mean. I'm going to make an effort to be nice. Wait, I take back some of that. I'm mean to people who I care about and like. :-/ How much does that make sense? What kind of person does that?....The minute I like someone, I start being mean. Acting like I don't care and pretending that the things that that person does doesn't matter. I'm sick of it. This is stupid... I'm tired too. And I want to talk to you and tell you how much I care... oh man. Please know that I care, because I do. You're so good to me and I'm a bitch in return. Anyways.. I'm done. 1 cried the blackest tears

Welcome to oragami with Cady fucking Jones!! [17 Nov 2003|05:37pm] [ mood | cranky ] [ music | Don't Tell and We Won't Ask - Thrice ] Today sucked pretty bad, but eh..what are ya gunna do, ay? Matt told me to take a nap and I was like, "I can't.." and then I went away and fell asleep for 2 hours and 20 minutes. It was nice. I usually can't sleep in the day but oh man, it was easy to fall asleep. My head still feels like a bitch though. Stupid head. I'm gunna rip it off. Anyways.. we got to throw paper at Mr. Weatherby this morning. I had a test in English. Spanish sucks. Gym sucks. We got our quizzes back in Science. Talked in Chorus. Got a 100% on my quiz in Algebra :-D and that's about it. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMMIE!!!! I love you child. Oh man.... 9 years buddy. Thing I stole from Neeny... Best Live Show: 9/6/03 Dashboard, MxPx, Brand New or 10/12/03 GC, Mest, SoCo Worst Live Show: Hmmm Nsync in 5th grade Most Fan Friendly: tHrOnE or Roxi Monoxide Least Fan Friendly: Billy from GC :-( hahaha Which Bands 15 Minutes Of Fame Is Up: The Strokes, The Hives, The Vines, The All-American Rejects Love: Ever Lied About Getting Further With Some One Than You Did: nope Ever Cry About A Break Up: only one Are You A Emo Kid: ohhh you have no idea :-D Ever Share A Song With A BF/GF: yesss Ever Beat Up Someone For Looking At Your BF/GF: not physically.. but I've said a couple of words to people before. Style: Ever Wear Sandals With Socks: haha nope Ever Try To Show Off Your Underwear: not purposely?? oh man. Ever Get Mad Cause Someone Has The Same Thing On As You: noooo Ever Buy Clothes From Thrift Stores: yessss Ever Buy Something To Be Cool: no Ever Buy Something And Never Wear It: yeah, I do that a lot Ever Wear A Dirty Shirt Just To Be Twins With A Friend: umm.. nope Songs Association: Love: I Won't Spend Another Night Alone - The Ataris Hate: Silhouette - Thrice Depression: Poetic Tragedy - The Used How You Feel Right Now: Rough Draft - Yellowcard Makes You Wanna Cry: Eyesore - New Found Glory Makes You Wanna Sing: Any song.. "Blood Clots And Black Holes" - Thrice Here's your new drug Shoot it in the left eye Feel it on the right side No it's not love Though it sets up shop behind your ribcage Building blood clots and black holes Like using an axe to pull A sliver from your skin And they say this is medicine An overdose of oxygen A severed head as sedative To be at peace would be a sin And surely un-american I'm breaking Here's your new blood Transfusion took us all night Tell us that you're all right No it's not love Though feels like fire inside of your veins Burning right beneath the wrist Begging for a razor's kiss To free it from your skin And they say this is medicine An overdose of oxygen A severed head as sedative To be at peace would be a sin And surely unamerican I'm breaking down Lift the veil, it's not medicine And my heart fails, time and time again the blackest tears

ohhh yes! [16 Nov 2003|12:47pm] [ mood | hopeful ] [ music | The Early November - Make Believe ] Nora is the coolest person ever. Last night I had the urge to change my background for the blurty thing and as I've said before I suck with computers and my html-ing skills are fairly limited, but I got the picture and decided to make it how I wanted it and gave it to the oh-so-wonderful Nora and she put it in and made me my icon. :-D <-- that's me being really happy because it's awesome. So yes, thank you once again Nora :-) This morning I woke up at my dad's and took a shower. I was rushed and barely had time to put clothes on so when I got to Laura's I wasn't a happy camper. Now I'm all good though because CCD is over with and although I despise it, it's nice not being at home. After church Laura and I went to Dunkin Donuts and got some bagels and iced coffees. Plain bagel, plain cream cheese, lightly toasted for the both of us, (the only decent way to eat a bagel.) Laura has her ice coffee regular (cream and sugar) and of course mine is black.. no cream or sugar, just black! I like my coffee like I like my men damnit!! Ghetto as can be!....hahaha no. Today Laura and I are going over to the Sad to see Brunswick.. yay for Ian!!!! Unfortunetly TREOS isn't here because of Ben departing from the band :-( but hey.. what else is there to do on a Sunday afternoon/night? Next weekend Finding Westerly is coming to the Summit and Laura's all excited. I must say I'm not a huge fan of them but hey.. why not, right? On January 2nd, The Used is coming to the Tsongas Arena and oh man.. that means I'll only have 4 more bands on my list to see and then I can die happy. The only issue is the tickets are like $38 because it's with Janes Addiction and Marylin Manson.. yes kids.. Christina's going to see Marylin Manson. Oh god.. what a nightmare come true. I'm only going for The Used.. oh well, it will be a good time anyways. "Unsaid Goodbyes" - Halo Friendlies Wasn't such a bad time for us Cause we were young I think about the good times Driving under moonlight Low tides and lullabies Do you remember it too? And I was on the telephone Telling you to come home and settle the score Didn't I try and tell you of passing time And unsaid goodbyes Sitting in the back seat of life Joy ride We know we couldn't get bored Following our dreams down the path of life And we don't know What do we do when we get there And I was on the seventh floor Shouting at the window let's settle the score Didn't I try and tell you of passing time And unsaid goodbyes And I was on the telephone Telling you I'll be home to settle the score Didn't I try and tell you of passing time And unsaid goodbyes Goodbyes Goodbye Summertime burned, burned a hole inside your heart And winter's bite froze the feelings deep inside But I know there's something there that you can't hide It sparkles brightly forth, Expands the sky and it blows my mind 5 cried the blackest tears

Man I'm bored.... [15 Nov 2003|03:07pm] [ mood | cold ] [ music | Dead On Arrival - Fall Out Boy ] Hmmm Nothing More show tonight? Yes. Am I going? Of course not, my life sucks. Therefore, I'll attempt to occupy myself by doing this survery I stole from Laura.. because she's so cool like that. Basics Name - Christina Phone – 329-4801? Nicknames - Trophe, baby X-tina, Chrissy, Chrispy Looks Hair color- Somewhere between black, dark brown, hint of blonde and red.. going to be jet black again very soon :-) Long/short - Long Eye color - Blue Height- 5'4 Shoe size - 9 ; 9 1/2 School School name - Pinkerton Academy School colors - Red and White Favorite male teacher - uhhh no Favorite female teacher - uhhh no Worst male teacher - I only have one.. so him Worst female teacher - I hate them all Favorite subject - English or Science Worst subject - Algebra People you know Funniest - Ginger Best for advice - Laura, Shayla, Jilly, Nora Prettiest - Ginger, Karina, Shayla, Laura, Cady, Sam, Ashley, Kaela, Alanna, Emily, Jenny...yes Ugliest - I don't like ugly people.. therefore I don't associate myself with them. Nicest - I dunno Smartest - Ha... none. Best friend- Laura, Shayla, Cady Worst enemy - SUPRISINGLY... I don't have any. Loudest - Ginger or Cady Craziest- Oh man.. Ginger definetly wins on this one. Who know’s all your secrets- none know ALL of them...I keep the most secret ones to myself thanks. Whose secrets do u know - A lot... Who gets in most trouble - I dunno.. we all get our fair share of that. You <3 the most - All? Best hair - Hmm... Ginger or Cady Best handwriting - What kind of question is that?....but, Cady Do you….? Believe in god- sometimes? Sleep with or without clothes on- depends.. but usually with haha Dress up on Halloween - I haven't the past two-three years Have a goldfish- No Ever have the falling dream- You mean when I'm falling? .... sure Have stuffed animals- Two care bears Own a furby- I did, I did. Like kisses- Of course Like when it’s raining- No Snowing- eh Wear make-up- .....yeah Have any piercings- Yessss Love someone at the moment- Not sure Favorites Relative: Abby Poems: ...don't have particular ones Five girl names: uhhhh... Five boy names:....???? Male singer: Bert from The Used.. Female singer: Oh man... Christina Aguilera or Brody Armstrong.. haha Bands: hmm.. Rancid, Brand New, The Used, Nothing More, FATA, The Bedroom Mile, Alk3, Fall Out Boy, The Ataris, GC, NFG, Blink, The Used, Thrice, AFI, Atreyu, Matchbook Romance, TBS, The Distillers, Anti-Flag, Coheed and Cambria, Green Day, Dashboard, MxPx, NOFX, Bayside, Thursday, FSF, Autopilot Off, Unseen, tHrOnE, Count the Stars, Punchline, Mest, Less Than Jake, Hot Rod Circuit, Saves the Day, Yellowcard, Cauterize, Not By Choice, Straylight Run, JamisonParker, TREOS, Skeptics, As Cities Burn, ....there's more but I'm done with this one. Music Award Show: Don't have a particular Vegetable: peas? Meat: No meat for me. Soda: Diet Coke Snack to munch on: go home? Ice cream: hmmm not Cookies and Cream Cereal: I don't like cereal Gum: Orbit or Eclipse... yes Memory from childhood: Don't remember any Memory with friends: Too many to remember Alcoholic beverage: .....no Kind of cigarettes: ......no Personal What color are the socks you’re wearing right now- Pink! :-) Do you have any tattoos- Not at the moment Do you have anything pierced besides your ears- Nose and tragus (ear piercing but it's a cool ear piercing so I can put it here) Do you have long fingernails- nope I bite my nails Do you want children in the future- yeah but not till I'm like.. in my 30's Do you want to get married- sure why not Have you ever kissed anyone of the same sex- yes. Are you right or left handed- right What posters do you have on your walls- 4 Good Charlotte posters, 2 Sum 41, Blink, and NFG What do you think when you hear these names Ashley- Kostiew Tara- Reed *cringe* James- a chubby Columbian Michael- nothing Matt- hehehehehehe woah, don't me started :-D Jessica- JESS!!! yay Girls only this is gay.... Long hair/ short hair on a guy- it depends what looks better on the guy, but usually long hair Older or younger guys- Older Do you have a boyfriend- .....No Tall or short guys- Taller then me.. Hugs/kisses- Both are great but... kisses probably. Last time you…… Left your house: Yesterday morning for school.. I haven't been home since. Slept: Last night Ate something: 3 hours ago Watched TV: about an hour ago Friends came over: Sometime last week Ate ice cream: 2-3 nights ago? Cried: Don't remember Talked on the phone: hour ago Last person you……? Talked to- Dad Talked to on the phone- Laura Said I love you to- I think it was Matt....? Hugged- Laura and Cady Kissed- Chris Perren....fuck. Friends most likely to Help you the most if you were in trouble: Depends on what KIND of trouble... Become an actress/actor: I don't know Be a doctor: Hopefully none... Talk to strangers: Cady and Ginger Get a tattoo: I don't know.. I actually think just me.. maybe Cady, Ginger, Laura, or Shayla..? Ditch their date on prom night: ha..either Shayla or me the blackest tears

LOOK! [14 Nov 2003|11:24pm] [ mood | loved ] [ music | Deadbolt - Thrice ] Hmm Paul looks rather hot in his journal picture. STOP!..... I'm at Laura's with Cady Jones. I know you want it. WHY IS MATT SO HOT!? Oh man... I want him.... holy fuck. If that child was here right now.... mhm. HA! That's right. "Deadbolt" when deadbolts awake you from deja vu dreams, at four in the morning you know where I'll be. out running red lights asleep at the wheel. the sirens feed my nightmares, i just close my eyes and I'm already there; its already too late. i know its nothing but lies, but they sound so sincere; i find them too hard to hate. and she calls from the doorway "stolen water is so sweet, so lets drink in the darkness if you know what i mean" and she calls from the doorway "stolen water is so sweet, so lets drink in the darkness if you know what i mean" and I'm almost sure that I've been here before, that this is not the first time I've stood in front of this door, with an overwhelming feeling that i shouldn't go in, but it seems this is a battle that i never could win. and you! my true love! you call from the hilltop. you call through the streets, "Darling don't you know, the water is poison." and i say! "come on and give me my poison." what have i done.? is it too late to save me from this place? from the depths of the grave? we all are those .. who thought we were brave. what have i done.? the blackest tears

hehe... [13 Nov 2003|04:28pm] [ mood | complacent ] [ music | Cauterize - My Everything ] GUESS WHAT!? I'M BORED... It's convo time! la X chic8913: haha u have a stalker la X chic8913: lol MaybeMemoriesx7x: I KNOW! >:o la X chic8913: hahah u should stalk her back!! MaybeMemoriesx7x: eeww no! la X chic8913: haha lol la X chic8913: i think she has a crush on u :-* la X chic8913: ow ow christina lol MaybeMemoriesx7x: that's not funny.... la X chic8913: haha la X chic8913: yea it is la X chic8913: hehe watch veronica bring in like a bunch of pictures for u tomarrow la X chic8913: haha to win u over MaybeMemoriesx7x: haha... it's so scary la X chic8913: haha lol MaybeMemoriesx7x: I showed Laura the thing she made today for me MaybeMemoriesx7x: and she's like...,"Wow, that's really scary." la X chic8913: lol haha la X chic8913: it is MaybeMemoriesx7x: honestly.. who the fuck would make me a drawing thing of their name?...she doesn't even know me.. la X chic8913: she doesnt even kno them! la X chic8913: lol MaybeMemoriesx7x: she saw the picture on my notebook and she's like.."oohhh who are they!!!??" la X chic8913: hahaha MaybeMemoriesx7x: I was like...,"Uhhhh.. Nothing More" la X chic8913: u should be like ooooh get away MaybeMemoriesx7x: SHE LIKES, "OHHH THEY'RE HOT!!" la X chic8913: haha MaybeMemoriesx7x: I'm like.."Sure..." MaybeMemoriesx7x: and then all of a sudden.... the drawing appeared la X chic8913: hahahah la X chic8913: lol la X chic8913: oh man u have a stalker haha lol la X chic8913: i find this wicked funny MaybeMemoriesx7x: I find it highly annoying and fucked up. She's obessed with the things I do and my friends la X chic8913: u shuldnt be so nice la X chic8913: lol MaybeMemoriesx7x: I'm not nice to her... la X chic8913: uhh ya u are hahah MaybeMemoriesx7x: well what the fuck am I supposed to do.. be like, "Shut the fuck up Veronica you're annoying" and then have to sit with her for the rest of science? la X chic8913: yep MaybeMemoriesx7x: that would suck more then having her stalk me la X chic8913: haha la X chic8913: no u shuld jus not answer and be like shh im trying to listen la X chic8913: haha MaybeMemoriesx7x: I'd rather listen to Veronica ask me questions about my nose ring then listen to Mrs. Hicks call us retards la X chic8913: hahaha lol la X chic8913: she seriously puts us down so much lol MaybeMemoriesx7x: yeah I know.. she's like, "I COULD TEACH THIS TO A FIRST GRADE CLASS AND THEY WOULD UNDERSTAND IT!" la X chic8913: i kno right lol MaybeMemoriesx7x: but when you think about it.. we are in the retarted class la X chic8913: hey no were just in b class la X chic8913: lol MaybeMemoriesx7x: Jess... the deaf kid is in our class! la X chic8913: hahaha la X chic8913: hes not retarted!!!!!!! MaybeMemoriesx7x: ...he talks funny la X chic8913: HES DEAF! la X chic8913: haha MaybeMemoriesx7x: BUT HE TALKS FUNNY! MaybeMemoriesx7x: it's annoying! la X chic8913: CUS HES DEAF! la X chic8913: lol MaybeMemoriesx7x: I wanna rip off his hearing aids and throw them at Mrs. Hicks la X chic8913: hahahaha la X chic8913: ur real nice haha la X chic8913: deaf kids arent retardet...what if i said i had a deaf problem and had hearing aids but no one could see them cus they were built in la X chic8913: haha lol MaybeMemoriesx7x: well you already have a midget leg so you're already qualified as retarteded la X chic8913: shutup!!! hahah lol la X chic8913: ok so maybe we are in the retardet class MaybeMemoriesx7x: yeah.. we definetly are la X chic8913: lol MaybeMemoriesx7x: baby girl you stay on mah mind fufill muh fantasies xXbabii x g1rLXx: i think about u all the time i c u in my dreams :-P :-* MaybeMemoriesx7x: I love you Shley :-* :-* xXbabii x g1rLXx: hehe love u 2 chrispy DEADbolt 187x: hey whore MaybeMemoriesx7x: fuck you whore DEADbolt 187x: awww, im so glad our relationship is built on love MaybeMemoriesx7x: :-D it is ... and you know it the blackest tears

You are the star that's in my sky. [12 Nov 2003|03:09pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | That's So You - The Rocket Summer ] Whores. Today was kinda sucky. I was in a sad/pissed mood all day and I have a reason to be. It's not that I don't wanna say it.. it's just that I don't feel comfortable saying, it's not really my place to ask it. So besideds that..after gym today John waits outside for unknown reason so I walk out and stand there looking at him, he does his whole "I'm so hot wink/smile" so I was like, "Come here.." And he was like, "What?" And I grabbed his arm and bit down as hard as I could. So now.. he has to go to the hospital and get a rabies shot on his ass. Ha. Not really kids... I forgot to read the rest of To Kill a Mocking Bird so that kinda sucked when I had a quiz today. Drew pictures all of Spanish. Wrote random things during Sicence. Talked during chorus... yeah that's basically it. Ooohhh!! I forgot! Yesterday I woke up and thought that Laura, Cady, and I were gunna go to the mall. It turned out that Laura was extremely sick and Cady didn't call me till 1:00 when I was already there but I ended up going with Tommie and meeting Ginger, Karina, Dave, and Jimmy there. Ginger had to be at work by 3:30 and Dave had to be home so we only got to hang out with them for like 45 minutes but Karina stayed and we all walked around and had good times. Tommie stole four shirts from Hot Topic... he got me an Ataris shirt, Karina an Atreyu shirt (which I wanted heh), and Tommie got a TBS and Alk3 shirt. Ha...they're so dumb there. I can't remember the rest.. but it was fun. "Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here)" - Fall Out Boy I am such a sucker And I'm always the last to know My insides are copper And I'd kill to make them gold Conversation got me here: another night alone in the city So make my bed the grave and shovel dirt onto my sheets Every friend we ever had in common I will sever the tie with you You can thank your lucky stars That everything i wish for will never come true When you go, I will forget everything about you I've seen sinking ships go down with more grace than you Turn this up I'll tune you out Another night alone in the city Fake it like you matter-that's a lie we can both keep the blackest tears

Is their anything worth loving for? [11 Nov 2003|10:04am] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | That's So You - The Rocket Summer ] Hmm.. Dashboard. Yesterday was quite boring. It was so fucking cold. As me and Karina were talking yesterday on the way to Spanish we decided the cold it completely uneccesary and it does no good. Stupid cold. It should die. But besideds that nothing good happened except in chorus. These two Seniors who were supposedly running the class (Mrs. Clark, ew, was absent) wouldn't shut the fuck up and we didn't wanna do anything. So all of a sudden Cady's like, "Mosh pit!" So naturally Laura, me, and Cady all started hitting and kicking each other. One of the girls was like, "That's uneccasary, SIT DOWN!" Then later I missed what the bitch said but in reply to whatever comment she made Cady was like, "Yeah, just keep talking." Anyways she got sent to Mr. Quigley who sent her to Mrs. Hines (she's mine and Cady's discipline officer or something) and then I don't know what happened... After school I went to Tommie's. I didn't stay long because he had a meeting at the newspaper place for his writing job, but we just hung out and played guitar. And sat by his computer and sung songs. The usual. When I got home my internet for some reason wasn't connected and it was really pissing me off. I had to call my mom and ask for help and of course she doesn't know shit about computers so I was like.. "fuck." I had to disconnect the fucking modem and then run the ethernet cable straight into the computer instead of putting it through my brother's router thing for his laptop. Anyways.. it worked :-) It's no longer being gay. Hmm... then I went online and talked to people. Then I went outside by the lake and it was REALLY REALLY pretty out. Everything was clear and the moon was so bright, and all the stars were out. But it was cold so that idea didn't last too long. Today I think I'm going to the mall with Cady and Laura. Most likely... "Dead To The World" - JamisonParker So so what happens in your room? when you're all alone with me at home going crazy over you behind these bedroom walls everynight I sing along with all her favorite songs I sing until my voice is gone until my lungs are bleedin' tell me you don't miss these brown eyes and that you're not in love I hate hate the way you look at me where's the pills for that thing that you call "sweepin' me off my feet" it's girls like you that keep open graves for boys like me that keep themselves locked up for days behind these bedroom walls everynight I sing along with all her favorite songs I sing until my voice is gone until my lungs are bleedin' tell me you don't miss these brown eyes and that you're not in love Take this stupid heart I know it's all you ever want me for and I hope you keep it close so everyone knows that it's all because of you that I'm dead to the world I won't wait, I won't wait, I won't wait I won't wait for you to make me stop behind these bedroom walls everynight I sing along with all her favorite songs I sing until my voice is gone until my lungs are bleedin' tell me you don't miss these brown eyes and that you're not in love Take this stupid heart I know it's all you ever want me for and I hope you keep it close so everyone knows that it's all because of you that I'm dead to the world So here I am a love worn masochist with hearts carved straight across my chest letting the carpet soak up all that's left to give. the blackest tears

Yeah [09 Nov 2003|10:58am] [ mood | thirsty ] [ music | From Autumn to Ashes - Milligram Smile ] Last night was the Alk3, No Motiv, Reggie, and From Autumn to Ashes show :-) At around 11:50ish I picked Cady up and headed over to Laura's...We got their and I gave her my present. I got her Cauterize cd, the new SoCo cd, the new Early November cd and a New Found Glory shirt...ha. So then we watched Sid and Nancy and played with guitars and what not. Eric came over at around 2:00ish and we took a walk down to the Lake and sat on the lifeguard posts and took pictures with Laura's cell phone thing. We left at 3:30 to go to Bill's house to switch cars. Everyone was shoved in the backseat and it was pretty cozy. We sang songs to pass the time on the way down to Worcester. When we got there we all had to go pee really bad so went into the Irish Pub place and stuff. Then we crossed the street and got in line...oh man was it cold. It was freezing but we met up with Natalie, Lisa, and Adam and all made a really big circle to keep warm in. It wasn't that bad of a wait and we also found Karina, Nick, Dave, Brandon, and Matt. We got inside and we were like six people back from the barricade so it was pretty cool. Then Tim, Kevin, Ryan, and Tim's little brother (Eric) showed up and stood with us for a while, but Tim and Kevin went to go drop Tim's little brother off someplace and we lost them for No Motiv's and FATA's set. For No Motiv there was like nothing happening.. people were just standing and like one mosh pit broke out but it wasn't intense. We thought Reggie was going on next so Laura was like, "I'm gunna go up back because I don't wanna watch them, I'll meet up with you guys later." So she left and then Matt texts me and is like.."FATA's next." So I'm like, "Shit. Laura went back." So I text her and tell her but there was no way she was getting back up to where we were. Anyways she found Kevin, Tim, and Sean so she was good. From Autumn to Ashes.. OH MAN. So amazing. So amazing. They did SO GOOD. During FATA's set lots of people were crowd surfing and I got kicked in the head really hard by some kid who decideds to purposely flail his limbs while he's surfing. Idiots. But anyways it was awesome. Two songs before FATA finished Cady was like, "I gutta take Eric back, he's getting killed." And I was like.. "Ugh..fine." So I went with them because I didn't wanna get lost because Ryan, Adam, Natalie, and Lisa had dissapeared. We went up back to the bar and watched FATA finish their set from up there. After they were done Laura calls me and is like, "Where are you guys?" I was like, "By the bar." AND THEN SHE'S LIKE, "Meet us at the bathrooms!" yay! Anyways we did and we formed our little group again but Cady went with Nick, Dave, Brandon, Karina, and Matt back into the pit for Reggie... we didn't wanna really be downstairs so we went upstairs to the balcony and watched their set. Good music, good performance, stupid people. The costumes were kinda dumb, but somewhat amusing none the less. After Reggie gets off Karina calls me and is like, "Meet us by the lobby." So I had to go down to get Cady because Karina and co. were leaving before Alk3 came on. Cady came back up with me and we sat down Tim, Eric, Laura, Kevin, Ryan, and little Eric and watched Alk3. They did really good and they played "Radio". Oh yes. After Alk3 finished we went down to the little lounge area and said bye to everyone and then I was like.."I'm gunna go get a hoodie." So Laura, Cady, and Eric waited for me while I got and Alk3 hoodie. :-) heh. Alk3's merch girl (Heather) Oh man.. she's so cool..she's my idol. Anyways... after that we went outside and crossed the street about 4 times to get to where Donna and Bill were. On the car ride home we all fell asleep but were waken up by Eric singing, "Badger Badger Badger, Mushroom Mushroom, Snake Snake." Cady was threatening to kick him the face, but did he stop? No, of course not. We got to Bill's and switched cars again and then sang Dashboard and Brand New songs on the way home. What a night. We got home at 1:15ish and I ate croutons because there was nothing else in my house that was decent. And then went to bed at 2:00...eh...yay. 1 cried the blackest tears

Hey kids! What's tomorrow!? [07 Nov 2003|09:48pm] [ mood | thoughtful ] [ music | As Lovers Go - Dashboard Confessional ] Ohhh yeah, you know it biznatches. So man.. today was quite amusing I must admit. I forget everything that happened except in gym.. Justin was holding a basketball above his head and was all, "If you can get it from me, I'll let you have it and won't take it from you again." Now me, being 5'4, and him being like 5'11 with an arm attached doesn't help me. So I attempt to get the ball but of course miss and end up hitting the inside of his elbow, the ball falls and smacks me in the face!.. right in my nose. :-( hahahaha it was so funny. But anyways, I'm pissed because I had an Espanol test today and I forgot to study and oh well. I most likely failed. I went to the mall tonight and went shopping for Laura!!!! woot! I enjoy buying things for other people. It's such a joy. I'm not being sardonic (haha) either. While we were there my mom was all, "I want to get some bras at Victoria's Secret, wanna get some!?" So I was all, "YEAH!!.. BRAS!" So I got a black bra.. and it's hot. Almost as hot as you. Then I got 6, 16 gauge rings for my 2-4th holes and they hurt going into the fourth holes because they had never been gauged. I put 8 gauges in my first holes!!! woo they're so hot. They're the plugs but the metal ones that are hollow.. I don't know what they're called but oh man, I love them to death. Tomorrow is FATA, Alk3, Reggie, and No Motiv!!!! I cannot wait! Oh man.. it's going to be one good time. And to make it better it's Laura's 15th birthday! My baby's growing up so fast!!! tear. But anyways.. make sure to wish her a happy birthday loves. kill hEr bikini: Christina, your eyes sparkle like the soda im drinking. MaybeMemoriesx7x: aw love.. I love you. lol kill hEr bikini: I love you too :-D kill hEr bikini: Thats why I say corney pick up lines to you. Hey kids look! I stole it from Laura :) Basics___ 1. Name: Christina 3. Birthday: January 6th 4. City that you live in: uhh Hampstead, it’s not much of a city though How old___ 1. When you learned to talk? I don't know... 2. When you learned to walk? ....I don't know 3. When you learned to ride a bicycle? Six? 4. When you learned the ABC's? Pre-school or Kindergarten 5. When you learned to read? I'm illiterate...nah, uh 4ish 6. The last time you wet your pants? Ha. Uhhh 13??…no like 5..I don’t know 7. The first time you went on a date? 7th grade... 8. The first time you had sex? uhhh never Favorite___ 1. Color: black, baby blue 2. Movie: Sid and Nancy, SLC Punks, Billy Madison 3. Phrase: “Oh man!!” 4. Song: Oh man, I can't choose. 5. Poem: ....the goose poem that Laura had. 6. Shirt: Don’t have a particular one.. 7. Car: uhhhh something that has an engine and gets me somewhere 8. Person: I have no clue... 9. Team: Teams suck dick, sort of like this survey. 10. Number: 7 or 9 Serious___ 1. What is your biggest fear? Drowning 2. Who do you think you will marry? Haha probably no one… 3. How do you get through a bad day? Music, Screaming random obscenities, punching objects..haha 4. When was the last time you cried? Last night actually. 5. How many times a day do you drink water? All I drink is a water.. Besideds the obsessive amounts of diet coke I drink. 6. What did you want to be when you were little? I think I wanted to be a hairstylist 7. Who is one person you will never forget from high school? ….I don’t know yet. 8. How many kids do you want to have? what will you name them? I hate kids. But probably two, a boy and a girl. Preferably twins?... I haven’t really thought of names 9. Have you ever been in love? I thought I was once.. But definitely wasn’t. Meh. 10. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? …haha I have no idea 11. Where is one place in the world that you have never been? but want to go?: California and New Zealand Random___ 1. Do you like it when people stare at you? Oh god, yes. 2. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? who? Haha oh man like.. Last night..Matt, Laura, Cady, my mom 3. Have you ever used a road atlas? I think... 4. When was the last time you said the word sex? A millisecond ago 5. If you were locked in your house for a week and you could have one person with you...Who would it be then? Why? Uhhh Matt..because he's hot...yeah. 6. What is the meaning of life to you? I don’t know and quite honestly.. don't really care. 7. Does the word "marriage" freak you out? Should it?.. No 9. Whenever you have children down the road. Are you going to be strict? No.. I’m gunna let my kids be total fuck-ups "Bitemarks And Bloodstains" - Finch And will this day be forever? Tell me lover what will become of the others? Skin of flesh Waste a tear don't tell these lies Where were you with all that talk about their not your kind? Now I'm stealing her body and taking it home There is always one more fault Those wounds I don't discover Little ones that brought you to Where were you with all that talk about their not your kind? Now I'm stealing her body and taking it home There is always one more fault Now I'm stealing her body, taking it home There is always one more fault This will hurt you It's Killing Me This will hurt you It's Killing Me This will hurt you It's Killing Me This will hurt you And I will show, and I will For this girl For this boy For this girl For this boy This boy They come and talk about, round again round again They're not your kind This is easy as lovers go, So don't complicate it by hesitating. And this is wonderful as loving goes, This is tailor-made, whats the sense in waiting? the blackest tears

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