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[30 Apr 2007|09:46am] |
this is ridiculous but maybe i should really go for the business and public policy interview, i mean i've not started reading anything business-related or prepared my cv and my eyes are really puffy and my head feels so heavy i have to consciously keep it upright and i scratched my eyes so hard i have little abrasions but i still have almost 2 hours left to maybe print a one-page cv and get myself together, despite 0 hours of sleep last night (i slept on the sofa downstairs instead of in my room, my neighbourhood is pretty noisy).
yesterday i suddenly had this 2am fit of sheer terror and i started praying, just for something to make me feel better and get me through the night. since i haven't read the Bible in over 6 years i decided to randomly flip to a page and start reading, because i needed comfort, i needed to hear someone speaking to me clearly and telling me what to do next, even though i'm not very religious. as a kid i read the entire Bible in a day once, but then again back then in primary one i was freakishly enthusiastic, smart and happy; happy and determined enough to read c.s. lewis novels and the entire Bible (except songs of solomon, too loveydovey and bizarre) in a day and still feel hungry to read more. these days, even reading books of my choice has become a chore. everything is too strenuous, the lights are too bright, the world is too noisy. anyway when i searched all over in my room there wasn't a Bible there, even though i'm pretty sure i had 1 or 2 in my room. i didn't want to wake anyone else up so i went back downstairs feeling miserable (forsaken perhaps? what was i expecting really), and listened to bbc world service until the newspaper guy came at 4am on his hellraiser-style noisy bike. then i heard my dog growling (he growls softly at night, grrrrrr grrrrr grrrrr over and over like he's having some sort of epileptic fit. maybe he does see ghosts) and the next second, or so it seemed, i was hearing lots of loud noises and seeing bright lights and watching my sister and brother leave for school. i obviously couldn't go to sleep after that so here i sit with puffy eyelids which make me feel like a ventriloquist's dummy because it feels like there's a string pulling my eyelids taut from above and keeping my eyes open.
n/us business school, here i come.
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[30 Apr 2007|07:51pm] |
today's interview went awesome. no, it was beyond awesome. i wanted to just go on talking forever because it was really fun, and i felt respected. the interviewers actually listened to me and they had a good sense of humour, and thank goodness they seemed aware that studying a particular course doesn't mean you have to end up doing what is generally expected. we talked about micro-credit financing and the nobel prize and driving and a lot of cool, non-academic things. they asked me about the policies i'd like to implement and the things i'd like to change, and though it took me by surprise, i felt completely relaxed, and it was a 360 degree change from the law one a few days back, which was horrible. i never want to see those professors again because they made me feel tiny, like a mite in their path. one of them today was drinking water when i said something funny and he laughed so hard the water sputtered; it was hilarious and totally unexpected. the other candidates were also really nice; i keep making friends at interviews these days, and i'd like to study with some of these people. i told the interviewers i was really interested in the course, despite having indicated it as my LAST choice, and they said they'll look into it.
and you know what? i had a bloody handwritten cv, because everything was so last minute that typing and printing would've taken much longer, and yet i wasn't made to feel stupid.
ahhh, i want to change my choice of faculty right now.
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