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[27 Apr 2007|12:06am] |
i just got another email from ucas track, and wow, UCL has finally made me an offer. and this brings the final count to 6/6 offers, all of which i've fulfilled.
if i screw up my interview tomorrow at the local uni, i could very well be 90% on my way to one of the 6 institutions. it's a nice, tempting thought, especially as i sit here, planning to start on my essay that's due at the interview tomorrow. my ucas essay, on hindsight, was such ignorance-soaked bullshit. or maybe i've changed, maybe my view of myself and everything at this point has changed-- i don't know but i feel somehow different. it feels like i'm living in part 2 of my life, which began the day i got my a level results and walked away, confused, because i was expecting my life to turn out so differently.
anyway my only preparation for tomorrow's interview has been watching fox news live for the past two hours, and if you know fox news, it's not exactly the beeb/cnn, and all they seem to do is have long, features on silly american kids snorting household substances, or get their reporters to walk around whispering in peoples' ears that their mug of decaf coffee contains 8 microgrammes of caffeine. silly, but sweet. i hope alan johnston is okay though (if you don't know who he is by now, i have no words. really, google him). i think the EU should threaten to withdraw aid to the palestinian military unless they hand the man over, safe and unharmed. if not, the kidnappers will probably slash this poor, brilliant and unfortunate man who has been turned into yet another pawn. i remember how the legendary beeb dj john peel passed away while on holiday just before my o level exams started, and on the same day my rabbit died as well. everything felt so surreal, because i didn't know which death upset me more, because while john peel is in my top 5 list of best people in the world ever, my rabbit was well, my dear, docile, loving little rabbit, and he was too big to bury in the backyard like we did the dozens, or should i say hundreds, of rodents, fish, frogs and turtles so my dad had to take him to the pet cremators to have a proper decent send-off. between john peel and the rabbit, the rabbit got me more sympathy though, definitely. a few days later, the night before my physics practical exam, one of my mice mauled the other (her brother) to death. it was quite a disturbing week.
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[27 Apr 2007|03:19pm] |
summary: today was disturbing. i want to be at king's college (or lse or ucl, but ultimately probably king's) more than ever.
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IF ANYONE'S GOING TO KCL/UCL/LSE OR KNOWS ANYONE WHO'S POSSIBLY GOING, PLEASE, PLEASE LET ME KNOW EVEN IF I DON'T KNOW THE PERSON AT ALL. I JUST NEED TO KNOW I'M NOT ALONE IN THE EVENT THAT I GO. OK THANKS.
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[27 Apr 2007|08:10pm] |
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lick the pavement by garbage |
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i learned to bribe i learned to say please
i like you best when you're on your knees
i love feeling warm, so physically warm that i want to be someone else just so i could hug myself and feel the warmth rushing in, so warm it feels like there's an invisible heater brring away inside me, warm enough to make me just curl up in bed in my underwear, close my eyes and tuck my forehead and knees in towards my chest and want to stay dormant forever, warm enough to feel magical when the cool breeze from the fan skims across my back. warm enough to feel better, to sing crazy, rather embarrassing shirley manson songs i used to sing when i was 13, and feel, for a second, perfect.
i am craving tangyuan so badly-- after shopping tomorrow i'm definitely going to get a few bowls of the sticky melty sweet stuff in soya bean curd porridge, in creamy peanut soup and every other soup available. i have at least 30 little pink bites all over my body from one day alone, and since i'm always curled around the laptop (which never leaves my bed) i've been attacked by a fair number of little firefly creatures. two nights ago at 3am a cockroach flew through the kitchen window and directly at me, and i almost keeled over in fright thinking it was a bat, because there are lots of bats where i live.
p.s. is it just me or are the ns (i.e. local compulsory conscript army) guys being downright strange? most of them have cryptic codewords in their msn screennames and seem to be in a different world altogether.
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