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[03 Apr 2007|01:59am] |
i have realised (quite devastatingly) that every single female lawyer (20s to 40s) whom i've met in the past month or so is:
devastatingly gorgeous and glowy and waif-like,
eloquent as f---,
has amazing tonal inflection i.e. shrieking/moaning/giggling skills, and
has the most subtle yet amazing dress sense ever,
(out of anyone i've seen in ANY industry)
ha, seeing how i fail at all of the above, i'll probably be better off doing a crappy generic business degree at s/mu. i can imagine myself feeling comfortable at a business/political science-type interview, but just thinking about having to attend a law interview is making me cringe, because i am 99% sure i'll just expose my ignorance and everyone will laugh in my face. i mean, i can't even say 'penal code' without chuckling a little, because of the way it sounds (though i'm not even consciously hearing), and because i am too childish for my own good.
eek, i've to be at work much earlier tomorrow-- it's 2am already.
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[03 Apr 2007|10:10pm] |
today i burst into tears, again, when i got home-- i don't know what exactly tipped me over: the blisters all over my toes from the evil court heels, the exhaustion and 2 hours of sleep per day, the fact that i'm an unpaid slave, having to dress in monochrome suits and act pseudo-professional, hopping into expensive, exotic cars which feel like spaceships/flying saucers, court visits, dealing with all sorts of people, being surrounded by snobbish rich people with expensive tastes in everything and feeling uncomfortable, eating overpriced $12 sandwiches alone (because going out with colleagues is sometimes awkward and intimidating), looking at numbers and dollar signs, receiving crash courses in asset and liability portfolios, as well as the giddy world of investment banking done oil billionaire-style, or perhaps it's just the long walk home?
my new office is much more down-to-earth (less glamorous and posh) and is significantly smaller in terms of workforce size than the previous one, but the people at both places are essentially similar. since the office here is much smaller, i was actually personally introduced to the entire executive workforce yesterday. it was quite terrifying, and gosh, i barely remember 5 names and probably 5 more faces out of 30, which is horrifying. everyone else seems to have no problem remembering MY name, and it's freaky because i don't know sometimes if the guy who says hello in the lift and asks me how it's been so far is a director or a technician or a stranger.
i suck at dealing with 9am to 6pm work days, even though i used to be at school from 7am to 11pm every day.
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