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[20 Mar 2007|07:44pm] |
today was the most agonizing day of my life, and i have a 39.5 degree fever, am dizzy as hell, have the most fucking terrible headache in the world, and sore, red eyes to boot. i'm radiating a halo of heat, and i feel intoxicated. i couldn't even crawl downstairs for lunch and sat in during lunch break pretending to be doing work-- it's the second time in my entire life i've skipped lunch, and i feel like i'm sucking on a battery acid lollipop. i also kept going to the washroom every 15 minutes, just to get away from people and breathe deeply and watch a few minutes pass without eyes constantly digging into my skull and watching me sit there in my cubicle, eyes glazed over, panic-stricken. i've never had time move more slowly in my entire life. it was hell, i was crying, and when i hailed a taxi, the driver looked at me and my bleeding mascara-ed eyes and asked me if something was wrong. he was nice to talk to although my head felt like it was being hammered in all directions, and my eyes and cheeks were burning.
i also think i'm having an insane breakdown of some sort. the world is filled with creeps and i'm exhausted, fed up, deeply disturbed, and just sad. i'm also making this thing 80% friends-only/private; it's gotten me into way more shit than i'd ever imagined possible. no one else seems to get into these stupid situations. this damn thing doesn't let me set all my previous entries on 'private' at once, and i'm pretty much shivering right now though i can feel the heat trapped within my skin, so that will have to wait till another day.
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