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[04 Mar 2007|04:51pm] |
i'm writing thank you notes to as many people as possible; last night i sat in bed at 2.30am typing a note for my math teacher because i feel somehow indebted to her-- not because she helped me understand math better, but rather, because she was refreshingly different and never once went psycho-bitch on me, or told me to drop math, and just let me be. and this brings the total hours of sleep i've had in the last 3 days to what, four hours? my eyebags are embarrassingly huge, so huge that i want to hide away in a secret crevice until they disappear.
i'm nervous and confused right now-- do 7 years and 3 months constitute an embarrassing age gap, or is age just something used to conveniently mark the passing of time? and just what makes me think i'm ready? maybe if i were 25, the seven years wouldn't be as obvious-- and well, there is always the niggling sense that i am neglecting something else which could turn out perfect. it would be nice to have answers and perhaps to have objective opinions. maybe if i move away for a while it will allow me to think more clearly; i've been evading the issue for far too long.
tomorrow will be spent at bbdc (bukit batok driving centre); it's quite a terrifying place, filled with the strangest people. i always feel so flustered and lost. it's really sad but i can't fit in with the average singaporean, and it's not even because i'm an elitist bitch or anything like that. i actually feel inferior around them.
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