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[01 Mar 2007|07:35pm] |
i'm sitting here in an oversized njc pe t-shirt; it's so much more comfy than the barely-there rjc one with the horrible warm fabric. i always wonder what it would've been like if i'd gone to njc. i probably would have gone there if i had a friend who was going there as well; it's so near where i live, i've heard a lot of nice things about the school from old friends, and i love the sixth-avenue environment. my brother makes friends very easily (he's always been the class chairman or something to that effect, back in acs) and he seems to like the school already, despite the fact that he's missed 2 months worth of the work they've been doing.
anyway i just got back from the hospital (again), had to do an echocardiogram, and my left boob is very sore from all the pressing and squeezing during the ultrasound. it was also uncomfortable to lie there with nothing on the top half of my body, with little metal plates stuck on my chest, strangers watching me, and a hard instrument rubbing and prodding me, pressing deeper in order to scan the heart, no, my heart, properly. i could never live in a nudist colony-- without my undergarments i feel quite powerless and helpless-- far from liberated and free. it's been five hours and it still hurts like a mofo. my only consolation is that i got to watch the echocardiogram and see my heart beating, valves fluttering like butterfly wings and undulating like waves, on a screen.
both my tricuspid and bicuspid valves are screwing up, and my life will probably have to be a bit different from now on. even though i've never experienced any of the symptoms, i guess you can't really dispute concrete facts and scans and medical theory, and i'm what they call an asymptomatic. right now i'm perfectly fine and all this fuss is a little annoying-- but i've no idea what's going to happen and i'm thankful that all the doctors have been really nice. i hope the other problems aren't as serious though! (this is freaking me out a little: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glomerulonephritis)
and a less depressing, more colourful picture-- it's so cute i just had to print it out. and it's a bit ironic; i've always loved looking at the gray's anatomy illustrations and i've always been fascinated with the heart in particular, which partly explains the 'ventricle' bit in the url. now i'm being forced to examine the heart in greater detail than ever before.
i'll get my results tomorrow. fuckkkkk. (no more heartbreak tomorrow, please!)
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