| I figured it out .. |
[03 Jun 2003|09:50pm] |
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.:Xander stared at the keyboard and went blank. He didn't know what to type or how to start, this was a definate problem:. Okay, let's start with the icon. Look at it. Pretty self explanatory right? No? .. it is be quite! I was in love with her once. Key word would be once. I've finally figured this all out. If you care to listen, good for you. My love for women has never been .:sighs:. perfect. My first love .. will always be in my heart forever and ever. Then, Anya came along shortly afterwards. I fell in love then proposed way too fast, and I'm NOT saying it was a mistake either. Then the day came .. the wedding. She looked beautiful but something in my heart was telling me not to marry her. So, obviousally, I didn't. Hatred. Anger. and any other (bad) feeling you can imagine got thrown in my face, for doing that to her. For 'leading' her on. I did it for a reason. There will always be feelings for Anya. Always. I fell in love with her and it was amazing but I think I still had some more growing to do. My growing went completley opposite then her's. She went back to her demon ways and I went back to my carpenter days.
Next Chapter in Xander's Love Life. She's always been around .. as long as I've know Buffy she's been around. I can tell you all the first day I had major feelings for her. Want to know? .:smiles:. The day I walked into the Summer's house to pick her and Buffy up for her first day of high school. She looked, so grown up. Mabye I was blinded before but I fell in love and had to control it for a while. Then things developed. I tried to give her sudden hints. The 'extraordinary' talk. Then she even gave me hints to. My birthday she got me a cape. She remebered. That was it. I had to make my move. Hasn't been all roses and champagne but she has always had my heart.
Oh, and to everyone else. Hi there.
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