|
[04 May 2003|10:01am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 artistic |
] |
I was totally justified in what I said. I talked to Giles later, and he said I was completley right. For once, it's nice to have everyone agree with ME and not with their perfect precious Buffy. The whole time I've been in Sunnydale, Buffy has been there to ruin me. What's her problem? Where does she get off? I never really knew Faith. I heard about what she did to them, and how she hurt them, blah blah blah...but whatever she does has to be better than what Buffy's doing. Miss High-and-Mighty needs to get off her pedestal and let someone else do the job.
I don't know what all of this means now. Buffy's really gone. She took off and hasn't been back since. Faith is a little shaken up, and doesn't know what to do, but I say she's a natural leader and she'll be fine soon. She better be. All of our lives are in her hands now. She's probably feeling a little taken back. I don't blame her, but she'll have to get over it.
Faith was right about Buffy know even knowing the SiTs names. I don't know all of them, but I learn fast and I make do. If I don't know their name I make up a little comfort nickname to lead them to believe that I really do. Like "hun" or "sweetie." It's a little awkward at times, since everyone knows I like men. But I get by and I've heard a lot of them say I'm their favorite. (Not Kennedy, though...I saw her walk out of my meeting. Not cool, Kennedy...not cool at all.) Anyways, that's all for now. I'll write more later if something exciting happens. Like if I get laid...
|
|
|
[04 May 2003|12:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 groggy |
] |
Mr. Posty, that's me. Not really, everything has been...well everything. Everyone won't stop worrying about me and it's starting to get to me. Everything is really a mess. Buffy left...for good I think and now we have Faith to listen to. Not one of my favorite things to do but considering there isn't much of a choice, I guess I'll deal.
Dawn and Will have been the most concerened. Dawn's been attached by our hips, I swear, she hasn't left my side. Willow...Willow is being her normal self. Trying to make jokes right along with me but then she gets teary-eyed and she looks so....so sad.
Anya won't say two words to me. It's always "Move Harris!" in the morning when she is storming by me to go down to the kitchen. She hasn't really looked at me like everyone else has....god I mean she hasn't even looked at me at all. I try to look at her but ya know the whole 'one-eye' thing prevents that a little. We don't talk like we used to.
|
|
|
[04 May 2003|02:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 stressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Sense Field - Weight of the World |
] |
Things have been different 'round the house.
I miss Buffy, I really do. I wonder what she's doing, what she's thinking.. but then I just try to.. not. Things feel perfect at a short moment and then it feels like everything might fall apart. I can't even begin to think about what's going to happen tomorrow when I'm worried about today. With Faith as leader, I don't know what we're going to do. We have no plan, we have nothing. We might as well be right where we started. I just feel.. helpless. I don't want to lose hope, but with every minute that goes by, I don't know what to do. The SiTS are okay, mostly worried but they're eager to learn. Is it just me.. or is there something going on between Principal Wood and Faith? *shakes head* That's not important now. What's important now is that we're ready to fight. And that Xander gets better. I really don't wanna lose him.
You know how people say that you should live each day like it's your last? I feel like I'm doing that, but I'm scared. Those people don't know that the end's coming. They're lucky. Me, I'm living my life like that, but I'm scared. I'm beyond scared, I'm terrified. I know being scared and crying won't do anything, but I can't help it.
I keep remembering past moments. The first day of kindergarten. "Be my deputy!". Seeing Buffy for the first time. Graduating. College. I'm young and I'm no slayer. So why do I feel like the weight of the world is somewhat on my shoulders? I have no idea how Buffy does what she does. Or did. I'm.. done with writing this for now. Where's Kennedy?
( OOC. Read. ;] )
|
|