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[20 Apr 2003|12:00pm] |
Wow I haven’t updated in eons. Sorry just haven’t really been up to it. Spent the last few nights sleeping in a chair at the hospital watchin’ Xandie sleep..
I was so scared/worried about him jesus. …he he’s alright though for the most part physically he’s fine aside from .:sighs rubbing her eye unknowingly:. But mentally and emotionally? I’m not sure on the outside he’s the same old Xander facing the world with a quick wit remark but on the inside? I don’t know I never know…
He said something like “The good is shit dawn, been fighting for seven years and I’ve learned one thing. If we fight and destroy caleb.. and the FE all that mean is a week later the next big bads going to knock on the door”
That hurt more then anything I’ve ever heard in my life, it sounded like he was giving up..
As true as his statement maybe what’re we supposed to do? Sit on our Asses and let the world collapse around us? It’s all or nothing… like Buffy told me once its real.. its always real
..can we wake up from this nightmare now?
.:sighs:. I need to go shower..
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[20 Apr 2003|05:58pm] |
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I have no clue where to start off. Dawn's up here. She has been all night. She kinda wanted to give Willow a break. ::smiles and nods head:: Thanks Will. Anyway, Dawn brought the labtop up so she wouldn't be bored and I've been playing on it. I decided I should update this thing considering I heard everyone's been all posty without me.
I....I know what everyone is thinking and just don't okay? ::sighs:: I'm the same goofy old Xander just with a little bit of a pirate in me. Buffy I know you feel like it's your fault, but don't. I gave that speech because it's true. This is battle - battle means someone will always get hurt and it doesn't mean it's your fault. Don't ever think just because I can't keep mine own ass up it's your fault. ::smiles:: I love you, Buf and I'm with you 110% okay?
Spike sort of um, saved me and I get that now. We are both putting everything behind us and kind of...'patting each others back' I guess you could say. Not um, literally though but Spike...I appreciate that. I'll try and talk to you later about it. I should go now the nurse should be here to give me my big 'ole horse pills. Anyone know why they call them 'horse' pills?!?!
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