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[08 Feb 2003|04:35am] [ mood | worried ] So..I heard Buffy's decision, and..I don't know whiether I should be glad because I'll finally be rid of this stupid chip, or if I should be scared....because even though I have my soul now, will I..be able to continue to control myself from you know...killing again? The chip was kind of a..back up plan, if maybe I had the urge to bite so random persons neck. I haven't had that urge for quite a while now, and..when I did actually do it, it wasn't..me exactly, I don't know, it's just all so confusing. I'm actually...a little scared, and I'm not ashamed to admit it, when they..take this chip out, which I assume is going to be soon, I'm going to need help.. Not a lot, but....I'll need someone there just in case I need it. I'm still going to keep myself chained up, I'm back..in Buffy's basement now if you didn't know, and Ikno a few people won't be happy about that..but it was at her request, so she could keep an eye on me. These...headaches, they're still happening, getting worse actually, yesterday when I got back.the only one around was Little Bit, so we talked..and my head started to hurt, my nose started to bleed..but I wiped it up before she could see it, and notice anything was happening. She was already worried about the chip possibly killing me, which I assured her..it wouldn't, but she looked pretty freaked out about it...so of course I chaged the subject and we started to talk about pillows with boys on them, and me getting too worried about things involving her, such as boys, and all of that jibberish. I can't help it...it's my protective side coming out..::He shrugged and licked the inside of his cheek absently::.. Not much else to say, I'm actually a little on the tired side...these things take a lot out of me, plus I need to get as much sleep as I can while the SiT's are out on their little camping trip with Giles, when they get back..I doubt it'll be quiet enough for m to get a moment's peace. ::He smirked::..ah well, time to put the old cuff and chain back on. post comment

[08 Feb 2003|11:08am] [ mood | giddy ] [ music | Something Corporate - Cavanaugh Park ] I want to marry the person who made mochas. The best way to start your day is with them, of course. ::laughs, shakes her head:: Distant has been me lately. But... could you blame me really? The whole turning into Warren thing.. more than terrifying. But I had people, like Kennedy, to help me through it. ::smiles:: She hasn't been around much lately. I think I need to talk to her. Giles got a journal. That's gotta scare him a bit, I wonder if he's still got that Computer-phobia. Heh. Oh, well, I'll have to help him out a bit. 3 comments|post comment

[08 Feb 2003|07:37pm] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | I Wanna be Sedated / The Ramones ] I'm going to be up...all night now. Mochas after 5:00 -- not a good thing. That and add to my insomnia and the fact that I'm a little worried right now...about things, not a good combination really. Tonight they are going to take Spike's chip out. They -- the Iniative guys, said that he should be fine or close to fine by Monday or Tuesday. And I made it..very clear that if they dust him, or anything -- they'll be very sorry. *glances at her music* I'm listening to the Ramones. *a small smirk appears on her face, a light blush creeping up* Hm, wonder who put that on my computer? I think I'm going to go and check for the 12385389475th time today for any sign of Giles and the SiT's and see if Will wants to hang for a while. post comment

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