| I'm a modern girl, but I fold in half so easily. | ||||
| 07:06am 09/12/2003 | ||||
When you're dead... I wish I didn't have to go to school. I've got this over-whelming feeling that something bad is gonna happen today, but then again, I do have a doctor's appointment after school. Don't ask me why I have so many lately, its not my fault... My mom just keeps on finding doctors that I haven't seen in a while. Thats not true. I know its valid, but still, it makes me mad. These are times that can't be weathered and we have never been back there since then. I don't know if anyone of importance will see this, but I have now officially put a temporary stop to my regard for 'tap-tapping'... Sorry, but y'know, some things just can't be helped. Like the fact that I must go find a sweater because its so damn cold inside this heated house. If you wanna have your cake and eat it to, and if you wanna have other people watch you while you eat it... Go Ahead. (its a Rilo day.) |
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cold| Just let me dedicate this song to a *boy* who turned this *girl* to stone. | ||||
| 08:53pm 08/12/2003 | ||||
You're not my favorite. You aren't the best. You're far from perfect. You aren't considerate. You're not humane. You aren't my favorite. I'm lost in contradiction. You've seen me at my worst. You're always at your worst. Don't tell me anything I won't believe. I could tell you the same but I won't. I can't help that my favorite song reminds me of you. You wouldn't understand why anyways. Seven numbers lost from memory. They'll never be known again. I'm missing your favorite things. Its almost as if they were mine. It won't take me long to realize that maybe they are. Cry. If you'll feel better about it. That was your job, not mine. Adrienne |
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pensive| This is how it goes. | ||||
| 07:11pm 08/12/2003 | ||||
So I hold my breath 'til my heart explodes Cause this is how it is and this is how it goes Its the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine. Everything is basically shot to hell down here on earth. I don't know what this whole, 'Lets everyone change our minds about everything in one day' thing, but I sure as hell am not liking it. I seriously just... Gah. I swear. This whole thing thats going around school... Its not cool. I could be fake. I could be angry. You know I could be just like you. Whatever though. People are dropping like flies all around me. You thought you were there to guide me. You were only in my way. You were wrong if you think I'd be just like you. Ok, well, I'm on the phone with Whitney, so I'm going to go and do something besides the computer ish. |
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jealous| Don't ask. Kay, friend? | ||||
| 04:04pm 07/12/2003 | ||||
How you were so wonderful to me. Spoiled and cared and constantly grinned, But it was too good to be considered fair. There’s nothing wrong with conceit. But the barbarous words go too far. Can’t breathe, can’t speak, can’t barely see, Why you’re so fucking horrible to me. |
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pissed off| Call me Mrs. Scrooge. | ||||
| 11:44am 07/12/2003 | ||||
A girl undercover but you tore me apart. Now I've found a real love, Now I've found... You'll never fool me again. Ah, Christmas time again. I put up the tree and nativity scene yesterday. Bleh. Yeah, so I'm listening to Jimmy Eat World. So Christmasy. Actually, I'm just playing those two songs over and over, because I don't know any of their other songs(Last Christmas and Hear You Me). Ok, well, maybe I do. But just the 'salt, sweat, sugar' one... because I used to be obsessed with it back when Bleed American came out. Yeah, well haven't heard that song in a while. I should go listen to it. And Good Lord! I wish my sister would stop playing that damn Toxic song. Its so freaking horrible. I mean, seriously. Its my least favorite Britney Spears song. Today in church I randomly started singing in my head... I got my head but my head is unraveling, Can't keep control can't keep track of where its traveling I've got my heart, but my hearts no good, And you're the only one thats understood. Now, for those of you that know that song, its not a very church-friendly song. And I haven't heard it in like... a year. I could remember the beat and every word to the song. Almost as if I had been listening to it at the time... Weird kinda... how some songs just stick with you like that. I can't stand the holidays. I mean, who likes christmas anyways. I think its just an excuse to spend money on things that will probably end up in the back of a closet somewhere, and get presents that you never even wanted. I say we just forego presents in my family this year. I mean, when am I gonna find time to get my parents something? This is absurd. Meh. It happens. And I can't stand Christmas time because I can't get that damn Christina Aguilera song out of my head. The whole 'falala-la-la-la' one. Its quite annoying when you're singing it in your head 24/7. Bah. Humbug. |
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annoyed| Pictures from school... | ||||
| 07:20pm 04/12/2003 | ||||
( PICTURES! ) Again, sorry about their massive size, but you know me. All lazy and crap. Crap. Crapcrapcrap. |
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numb| Dead. | ||||
| 10:11pm 01/12/2003 | ||||
Adrienne, not |
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| We're so... c-c-c-c-c-controversial | ||||
| 06:44pm 01/12/2003 | ||||
We admit to the truth We are the best at what we do... Today was fun. If by fun you mean horribly horrible... Geez, I wish myself would shut up sometimes... ::rolls eyes:: But yeah, I felt kinda faint in several of my classes. One being M.U.N. Who wouldn't become faint in the class ::humph:: Well anyways, I went outside and layed down on the concrete... for like 15 minutes... Wow, Mista T must be pretty dumb if he didn't notice I was gone for a half hour... Yeah, anyways, Christy came out talking on her cell phone, and looked at my funny and just laughed like it was expected of me to do something dumb like that. Pfffft... well, I am fairly dumb. But the Kristen came by and she was sincerely worried, and I was like, 'Awwww, people care...' Yes, I am loved! But uh, then I got up and went to the ASB room with Jizzan later on, and then got back to class and Pri and I discussed our lives. How cute. One Thing, However! Whitney, was not at school today. I'm highly dissapointed at the girl... ::sends death glares because I know you're reading this:: Yeah, and I wrote her a note and everything. Shes not gonna get it now! ::grumbles:: Thats all for today. I'm too tired to be interesting. |
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sleepy| JAW's best yet. | ||||
| 03:43pm 29/11/2003 | ||||
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drained| Sarah's house | |||
| 08:24pm 27/11/2003 | |||
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I'm at Sarah's and just got totally harassed by sary as she tried to steal the computer from me. Geez. Ok, gotta go, but everythings really confusing right now, so I might be updating tomorrow morning before Billytime. ::grin Toodles. Me: Sarah, stop snapping me with the little... hairbandy thingy! Sarah: (snaps the thing a little more) Make me! Me: FINE! (grabs her index finger and twists it) Sarah: Ow! Ow! Ow! Bad finger, bad finger... (holds her hand in pain) Me: Oh geez. And that was such a random finger too! Sarah: (glaring at me) Seriously! I mean, you had ten to chose from! |
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| Seriously now. | ||||
| 03:12pm 26/11/2003 | ||||
I wore my slutty skirt today, and was very self-conscious, so I am never doing that again. Seriously, from now on, the tights are gonna be a must. Oh well, I've got some pretty hot fishnetty tights... Those'll have to do. So things in the land of school are good. I mean, seriously, who doesn't like school? ::looks sheepish as everyone raises their hands:: My grades are actually doing ok. No D's. A few A's actually... Ok, I must go help with Thanksgiving preparations seeing and how we're gonna have like a million asian people here tomorrow. Love. |
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okay| I lean against the wind, pretending I am weightless... | ||||
| 06:33pm 25/11/2003 | ||||
Diamond colors spray across the dimlit room, Shows how much it hurts to hear you. Crimson streams that can't be seen, It all leads back to you and your poison, Create needles and pins and sharp broken scraps, Sorrowful rivers run in envy, Theres no more to it then what you see. More than the voice that makes me scream. Lose all inhibition. Nothing like you. Move me. I have a cold. I need some. Soon. Kim says so. Cuz today when freshman walked by, I fell on the floor and started to take deep breaths to control myself. Now, I must go pray that Whitney can come on Friday. Geezus, she better. |
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indescribable| Mmm... Billy | ||||
| 03:37pm 23/11/2003 | ||||
 I'm going with these two crazy girls and possibly one other person to see him and his band on Friday. Mmmmm... hes gonna get a good 'ol fashioned ravishing. |
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silly| Studying | ||||
| 03:04pm 23/11/2003 | ||||
Ten minutes later: Geez, so still not happening. I guess that its a lost cause. "You those songs that just... make you... y'know, feel different?" - My sister talking about Lullabye by The Cure. I swear, this is the last time I sit at home waiting for you to call, because it will never happen. I should stick to whats safe. And thats not you. ::You'll bruise their hearts, child:: |
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| Sure of myself. | ||||
| 07:32pm 22/11/2003 | ||||
Don't mind my musings. They're for me to write and you to read. Theres nothing left for me to do. I can't sit here and lock myself inside this haven reading books that take me places far away from here. No one knows. Lets keep it that way. Thanks for telling everyone. I knew it wouldn't stay. You never could keep a secret could you. But thats my fault. So who am I to complain. Please, sing to me one more time. It keeps me alive. I'd stop anything just to hear you. Don't cry unless its not my fault. Assume I won't assume. Step out from behind the curtain. Kill yourself over the distorted image. Don't wish you weren't you anymore. You can't help who you are. And I like it that way. If I dedicated it to you would you know? I'm on the sister's computer, doing Chem. Call me if you're a somewhat entertaining being. 581-6215 |
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complacent| No one ever said it would be this hard. | ||||
| 07:38pm 19/11/2003 | ||||
Wow, in such a mellow mood right now that I feel like I'm on drugs. I dunno... Its kinda bad though. I'm really tired, but not. I think I'll write a story tonight. Maybe. If creativity strikes me. So, I know I haven't really updated much lately, even though I've had a lot on my mind... Its kind of because every minute that I'm not doing homework nowadays, I'm sleeping. People (my doctors) think thats theres something wrong with me, but I'm just tired. Really tired. Really tired. Its bad. So theres so much crap going on nowadays... I mean, its not drama at all... just crap. I don't know how to describe it. Its just like... internal conflict... Yeah, I don't really know whats going on in life right now, but theres ish. Not necessarily bad. Just really confusing. |
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melancholy| Church Retreat. | ||||
| 08:19pm 16/11/2003 | ||||
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tired| Yeah. | ||||
| 05:25pm 12/11/2003 | ||||
electrc children: oh my utters Yeah, thats girls a little sometimes... Yeah, alright, night debate in a few minutes, so I must go, but this Lizzie girl WILL pay for eating all my good candy. |
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| Mmmm... excitement. | ||||
| 11:23pm 10/11/2003 | ||||
Luv Kid Viscious (11:22:49 PM): i'm just human excitement. what can i say? |
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dorky| Geez. | ||||
| 09:38am 09/11/2003 | ||||
Yeah, so yesterday was good. I guess. I went places, and did things. Including sitting at Denny's for an hour without eating or anything. Oh, and I got my shoes jacked. Yeah. The rainbows. Chloe has them right now, I think. Well, either way, it was an ok day. Ended good, started good. The middle was just kinda... eh. But what're you gonna do. Well, we are entirely smooth. I just wish that I didn't have so much homework to do today. And I have to go to church in the next like... 10 minutes, so hows that for a good day. Andrew and Whitney made me smile a lot last night. They're cute kids. Andrew brightens my world. And then Aw, that was my sentimental moment of the week. Sorry it had to come only 10 hours into the week, but thats the way it goes when you're Alyssa. |
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somethingsoft |
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