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mood |
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hungry |
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music |
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Feliz Navidad- Foxey Lady |
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Last night, I was thinking about the song Carve Your Heart Out Yourself, and how much it used to remind me of myself when I firstfirst started dating Con, back in October, when he was being all... odd-ish and weird, and how I thought it was all going to end up being some cruel prank, like the beginning of Never Been Kissed.
Carve your heart out yourself Hopelessness is your cell Since you've drawn out these lines Are you protected from trying times?
Man it takes a silly girl to lie about the dreams she has Lord it takes a lonely one to wish that she had never dreamt at all Oh Lord, now, there you go with hope again Oh, you're so sure I'll be leaving in the end
Dig a ditch deep enough To keep you clear of the sun You've been burned more than once You don't think much of trust
Man it takes a silly girl to lie about the dreams she has Lord it takes a lonely one to wish that she had never dreamt at all Oh Lord, now, there you go with hope again But I'll be sure your secret is safe with me Oh, you're so sure I'll be leaving in the end Treating me like I'm already gone
But I'm not, I will stay where you are always I will stay, I will stay, I will stay (all of now) [repeat to fade out]
And I was wondering why I felt like that, and I realized its because I still don't think I'm attractive or sexy or any of that, and I can't figure out why a guy would like ME. And I was wondering why I still feel like that, and I think that it's because for the first 13 years of my life, every guy I knew DID hate me (minus Nick and I guess Jon Rolawitz), and they all treated me like shit, and I'm still working on building my self-confidence back up. So that's my epiphany for the night, and they all better be glad I'm too...I guess... introverted about myself to see a therapist, or I'd totally send them the bill.
So... I guess you're all wondering about the subject of this entry, so here we go with what I learned in school today.
Well, it was two hour delay, which meant every period was 27 minutes long. :D It was also an F day, so I had Spanish first. Well, we only had 200 penies, but it took her the whole time to count them. Sara asked if I was mad at her. I'm not. I'm sorry Sara! I love ya!! And then neither Micky or whatsherface from next door (Dana and Tommy Gladnick's spanish teacher) had Enrique. :( I love Enrique! Except hearing the song "Hero" depressed me today. But anyway...
Then I had history. I was really pissed off at T, because he had a coin-counter, but then when he started to use it, he sent pennies flying everywhere! So yay. Then, Emmy busted out the lipstick, and the two of us and Rachel kissed KLAFF's note. We asked Andy what he thought about it, and he said it was a Stalker note. We told him to picture Jimmy naked. Then we told him to picture Jimmy RAPING him, and then... God we ruined history for him, I think, because Jimmy sits in good view of him, and he can't look at him anymore.
After that was Health, and we didn't waste our pennies on it, so we watched a movie called "Think, Don't Drink". Those movies don't do anything to stop us from drinking. Especially when they're from the Channel One Company, and have people that the kids HATE in them.
Theo...Theo was great today! First, we didn't REALLY have class, because of Penny Delay. So, of course, we busted out the Catholic Sex book. There was a lot of... interesting things in there, like homosexuality (even if you want to hug, hold hands, kiss etc. another person of the same sex, as long as you don't have sex, or some such nonsense) and the term "turned on" and a LOVELY section on masturbation. But the best was myths that teens had about sex and pregnancy. "I didn't think my girlfriend could get pregnent because she washed her genitals with Pepsi every time we had sex". Hmm... today was the first time I talked a lot to Andy...
Then we had lunch. I realised I didn't have my geo homework, and I didn't know if he was checking it before Penny Delay started, so I had to find someone (Jessie, Kristen, Sara, Emmy, and Rachel all didn't have theirs). Fortunatly, JJ had his and I could do it. So go me. I also think Andy/Con's (well, Con wasnt there today) table must believe me to be certifiable, since whenever I talk to them, it's always random, and I look kind of stupid. Normally I don't go though, but today I did, because I wanted to know if Andy bought Pepsi. So when I went up there, I go, without any preamble, "Are any of you drinking Pepsi?" and I'm sure they're all like, what the hell is wrong with her? But at least someone over there (Andy) gets it, unlike random times when I visit Con, so he's like, "Are any of you drinking Pepsi?" But they're not. How lame. I hope he explained it to them.
Then I had Science... I love how she has soooooooooooo many pennies, kids must really hate her class. Not much happened then, we all just talked. Steve is very annoying. Very. VERY.
Then I had English. SHe didn't do penny delay, so that sucked. But like the bell didn't ring like it was supposed to, or something, so she let us out and me and Cam were the first people to the library. So he's like.. are we early? And I"m like I guess so, and then he busts out the incest book.... Oh God... "Lois's Story"... then people came and we stopped reading it cause yah :-p.
Then we had Geo, which was just a fun free. I put the note on Chances locker, the one about his hair, and then I wrote about how much I hate Vermont and how I'm more important then snowboarding on Mr. V's board. And then Mitch erased the "S" for some reason. ANd then I had taco bell and got my ass kicked in street father and then I went home and now I'm here.
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