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[02 Nov 2003|12:14am] I'm back, that could be a bad thing. I'm still as tired as before. Gah I'm bored as hell, only because Russ isn't online :( Melbourne Cup on tuesday...Woohoo . I probably won't get to see Russ :( Oh well, but then I won't get to see him till friday which will suck. I went through my maths text book before highlighting shit I need to put on the cheat sheets. 2 double sided papers. Meh. I'll be writing it up when I wake up later. I should go to bed. Nite Nite. 2 People Hate Me

[01 Nov 2003|07:13pm] [ mood | tired ] Last night was Armanda's halloween party. I enjoyed myself, even though Russ and I were uhh kind of anti-social for a few hours lol. There were dramas, but I don't know what about lol. EVeryone was drinking and yeah. I'd go into detail but..no. Hahaha. It was soooo good seeing Russ, I hadn't seen him for a week :( Oh well, we enjoyed each others company :) heh. I'm soo tired, didnt sleep till after 4am, then got woken up by uhh..Mitchell or Steven...Either one, they were hitting my legs with Russ' fake axe :| Not nice. Everyone was out by 9am I think, so Russ and I ended up going into the bungalow for sleep lol. Meh, I'd write more but I'm too tired. People Hate Me

[30 Oct 2003|09:02pm] My day wasn't very eventful :\ I didn't get up till 1pm, gee what a surprise seeings though I didn't go to sleep till 2:30am lol. I have to stop doing that though because well, tomorrow is my english and office admin exams. First two. God I don't want to do the English one, Im so not prepared :\ Oh well shit happens. Year 12 sucked majorly blah blah blah and I'll stop whinging now. I was thinking about the whole KoRn/Static-X/Fear Factory (and maybe JERK) concert dealio. *drools at the thought* I cant wait, if JERK were there it'd make it even BETTER! I read it's meant to be happening on the 16th of Feb here in melb or something like that...Can't wait, hey it's not like I'm going to BDO this year cause frankly, there arent enough bands I would see, nor are there any I REALLY want to see. 3 People Hate Me

I'm so talented...not :| [29 Oct 2003|08:15pm] [ music | Chester Bennington - System ] So, I was bored a bit early and made two icons, best I've done ever I might say, transparency and everything...Never done that till today. They look best on light colors, well It doesnt matter so much with the first one but yeah. If by any chance you take the 'What?!" one, PLEASE give me credit and the such, I'd like people to know who actually made the icon, not like how some people take credit for other peoples work not nice at all. I can't wait till Manda's party. I'll get to see Christian, I didn't think he was going to be going or nething, but I spoke to him before. He told me something about a certain person I don't like...It was funny, I'm not going to repeat it though. Ugh my stomach is being stupid. It's growling at me. I don't want to eat though. I've eaten at some time today I just forget when :\ Oh fiona slept over last night. Was good, I wasn't alone cause my gran had to look after the kids and mum was still in hospital. She's out now though which is good, but she has to go back in a few days :( Eh, nothing to say, I'm tired. 10 People Hate Me

"when i saw your pic...your only what?...19??...20??" [28 Oct 2003|03:59pm] [ mood | weird ] :| Whut the fuck? Someone though I was 19-20? Thats sooo weird. I havent had anyone say that in a long time :\ I dont like when scary old men add me to msn out of nowhere. That was just fucking weird. He sent me a pic, talk about looking like the fonz from happy days :| Anyway, spoke to mum earlier. She doesn't know when she gets to come out, well not until they really know whuts wrong with her. Not good. I figured I'd ask her again about the Halloween party, she said yeah sure and asked me who was going. I didn't even mention Russ and she was like "and Russ right?" I was kinda shocked and I go "uhh yeah" then she was like "Don't get up to anything, you know what would happen if you got pregnant" I was like :| WTF? Next thing I know she says "I don't care if he's your boyfriend, just no messing around...So is he your boyfriend?" I didnt know whut to say so i paused for a bit then go "Maybe" she goes "It's either yes or no, I don't care" and I was like "Yeah..." :| She didnt sound pissed off or nething :O *falls over* How fucking weird. oh well, at least its out in the open and she doesn't have a problem with it *shrugs* 15 People Hate Me

[27 Oct 2003|06:57pm] Mum just called...They think there is something wrong with her heart. People Hate Me

Studying - Day 1 [27 Oct 2003|02:35am] [ mood | worried ] [ music | Linkin Park - Numb ] So, I got up around 12 noon, the house was empty and I went straight to studying office administration. I must say, it's one of my best and easiest subjects. I finished doing all the handouts we were given in class and went over other stuff. I must admit there was some stuff I couldn't remember and had to go over a bit, but I've gotten it in the end *nods* Mum went to the hospital while I was in bed, she hasn't come back and wont be because she has to spend the night in. She sms'd me to let me know. She doesnt even know if she will be coming out tomorrow. Hope everything is going to be okay :\ Oh, my aunt had her baby this morning. It's a girl :| Ugh I hate children and I'm not happy that another one has been brought into the world by such an incompetant mother. May sound harsh but it's not far from the truth. I feel sorry for my little cousin Jordan, the eldest out of the now four of them. He will be left to look after the baby in a few months, he's only 10 :\ I managed to nick the Mint Liquer out of the cupboard, now hopefully no one will notice it's missing. I should give it to Manda asap so then I don't need to freak out as much. Oh yeah, I dreamed about my dad again, which is odd because I dreamt about him the night before. Ugh let's hope we don't hear from him anytime soon. Like we need that anyway. :\ People Hate Me

[26 Oct 2003|07:18pm] [ mood | blah ] My mind likes to be cruel to me, maybe my body does, they both decieve me when Im not expecting it. Went out for lunch with the family today, my cousins bday. It was so fucking boring. I definately could of done without it. I would of liked to have spent today with Russ. *cries* I want to see him :( I'm tired, dunno why. I have to stop staying up late I guess. So, mum goes into hospital tomorrow, shit has gotten really bad. The doctor is REALLY worried about the way she's going, her whole body is swollen and something about fluid. I dunno. It's odd to say the least. *shrugs* It's cold. I think I'm hungry but I doubt it. This post is pointless. See ya. People Hate Me

Virgins sold in quantity, herded by heredity [25 Oct 2003|04:32pm] [ music | Jerk - Just What You Need ] Im home from the city finally. We went in to get buckles for my skirt. They are cute I guess, nice silver ones. I hope my skirt ends up turning out the way I want it to, it'll look kickass if it does. I was looking in the mirror before cause I was putting a necklace on and I was trying to figure out what I like about my appearence. As odd as it may seem, I like my collar bones, like the way it looks. I dunno I'm a weird one. I like my eyes and lips too. I used to like my hair, when it was nice. Russ doesnt like my scars, I must admit I dont like them much either. But oh well, that stuff is in the past now nothing I can do to change it. Mum wants to get a new tattoo. I wouldnt mind getting another piercing actually. Another ear one, maybe an industrial? I dunno. Or maybe my nipple, not sure. Mum told me as soon as exams are over I have to look for a job. I don't mind, I guess it gives me something to do. Not sure where I'm going to start looking, I might go around the city and see whut I can find. Who knows. I just really don't want to work with food, after the chicken machine no thanks. I know I shouldn't be picky but, ugh, no. I got some new headphones finally, and I got a slipknot 's' necklace. At the moment I'm wearing the pentagram dealio mum bought for herself, I dont think I'll be giving it back, looks nice on me *grin* hehehe. It's raining outside, I like it. We are going to visit my godbrother soon. It's his birthday today. He's 21. Mum still hasnt told me if I can go to Armanda's halloween party yet. I'm sure if I nag enough she'll let me, I just have to work out a way to get the mint liquer from the cupboard without them noticing. I doubt they'd let me take it. I mean I'm sure mum is assuming there is alcohol but yeah. I should mention the fact Russ is invited too. Oh I saw Nathan and Ben today when we went into the city. Ben's gone all blonde, I dont remember him being all blonde the last time I saw him *shrugs* no matter. I look funny today, I should take a pic and post it. eh ignore the headphones :\ ( Yeah, its behind the cut ) Yeah so, Im bored. I need to get my fucking collar back off laura. She's had it since last weekend, and I really wanted to wear it today grrr. My head hurts :( 3 People Hate Me

[25 Oct 2003|12:54am] [ music | Stone Sour - Monolith ] Howdy there, Im here for an update at almost god know whut time. So whats been happening with me? Not much. I saw my boi today. We went down to HMV so he could get some DVD's then we got the tram down to Treasury Gardens and kicked back there for an hour or so till I had to come home. It was good *grins* hehehe. While we were waiting for the train at Parliament station, I got a slightly abusive fone call from my mother cause I was late home :s Ended up going to Aunty Judys place where I got to talk to my boi on the fone some more :D Was great. Bridget was being her retarded self, no surprise there :\ Anyway, im going to head off cause I need sleep. I miss my boi heaps :( Oh here, why dont you look at some pics of me if your bored. ( Sheild Your Eyes, Or You'll Go Blind ) People Hate Me

[23 Oct 2003|04:33pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | White Zombie - Electric Head Pt. 1 ] I'm so tired, dunno why though. I stayed up till about 2am, then got up around 9:30am because Fiona came over. We headed down to broady because I wanted to look for something to get Russ. I ended up getting a dogtag that had a pic of us engraved on it, I thought it was really nice. After we got that Fi and I headed into the city to see Russ, and I gave it to him. He seemed to like it :) We headed down to Macca's for lunch. We kicked back and ate our food, then we headed to the optus shop, which is across the road from Russ' work, to get some credit. Then Fi and I walked him back over to work. It was good seeing him. I might get to see him after work tomorrow if mum is nice enough. I wont get to see him on Saturday cause he is staying at his dad's place and they are doing stuff :( Nor do I get to see him on the sunday which sucks major dick *cries* Oh yeah and Fiona and I came to the conclusion that if Russ had long hair and a labret piercing he'd look like the lead singer of Saliva hehehe. People Hate Me

Its feels like someone is using a rake to scrape me on the inside [23 Oct 2003|12:05am] I got to see my boi today :D It was great, I missed him so much...But now I miss him again :( He came to the radio, it was fun *giggles* Im going out with Fiona tomorrow to find him a present. Oh and I just remembered mum told me I have to go out to lunch on Sunday, which means I don't get to see my boi on our one month *cries* Stupid fucking family birthday parties made at bad times :( I'm tired, but I'm not. I want to just talk to my boi some more. Hopefully I'll see him tomorrow :) I'm out. -Druby People Hate Me

[21 Oct 2003|09:23pm] Your Passion is Black! Passionate? Sure. Twisted? Absolutely. You're seriously into a rush of emotions... But often times it's mixed with a rush of pain. You're all about the dark side of love, life, and lust. What Color Is Your Passion? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva People Hate Me

[21 Oct 2003|04:48pm] YAY! Finally I've graduated. It was nice I guess, except for having to get up on stage and accept your certificate. At the end there was a short film with people on it, and yep, I was on it :O back from the start of the year, with my green fringe LOL...Everyone was crying, and believe it or not I didn't...Fiona was bawling her eyes out. It was overall weird. *shrugs* Yiayia bought me chocolates as a congrats :D hehehe Got the photos back from the Jerk gig *cries* They are crap, thats what being in mosh pit does. Here is one of the 4 of us though :D People Hate Me

[20 Oct 2003|05:36pm] Fiona reckons she will cry tmorrow at graduation. I hope she doesn't. I dont think I will, there's nothing important I'm leaving behind. Its not like I have friends other than Fiona, oh and Laura. But still, they are people I can see anytime I want. *shrugs* I must admit there are things I want to say to certain people, but I dont intend to. I mean, not yet. We still have exams to get through so yeah. I started crying last night, but I dont know why. I wasnt really thiking about anything in particular. Ha, what a coincidence I am again. Fiona told Chris about what happened with her and I. He cried :\ only because she lied about it, although I thought she hadnt denied it. Oh well. I talked to Jess online yesturday, she sent me some pics of her. I miss her, but then Im glad I dont see her often because I used to be influenced by her, heh. I like my attitude and stuff as is, plus I dont think I'd know alot of the people I do. Everyone is writing notes and stuff, messages to each other because its all almost over. They want to remember their friends. I dont have many to remember. This is the time when weak connections cease and the bonds you thought were strong break. Enough from this crying loser, I'm rambling. People Hate Me

Im alive... [19 Oct 2003|12:56pm] yet still hard of hearing and have a sore throat. Gotta love going to see Jerk, they fucking rawk and no one can deny it. It was a good night, ha understatement. They had one of those barrier thingies up at the place, which I think was a good idea, especially after some of the other gigs of theirs I've been too. I didnt move from where I was, well tried not to, but I was pushed and stuff. Thanks to the moshers lol. Mum was at the front when Jerk came on which was funny. I took photos as per usual. Its nice being at gigs like that, you get close to the band, like obvious;y ur close, but ugh...I can't explain whut I mean. Some dude was taking pics for them I think, and John came down and was like standing right infront of me (if thats a good way to say it) and he like put his arm up on me and yeah, I put my head like next to hisand the dude took a pic :D I hope it goes up on their site or something that'd be damn cool. I wonder if they recognise me? I mean I DO go to every gig lol and I'm usually always up the front. But yeah. I was singing as loud as I could and moshing away. It was a great night. Everyone wants to come with us again next time hehehe. Should be good. They better be back soon. The next one will be over age though most likely, so laura wont be able to come :\ Mum caught a bottle of water Charles threw into the crowd. So I kept it :D Now I have a guitar pick and a bottle lol. Im such a lame ass. I gave Russ his letter, and asked what he thought of it. You and Me, We're In This Together Now says: i thought it was absolutly beautiful! i was gonna burst into tears when i read it because... it is honestly the nicest, kindest, most loving and thoughtful thing anyone has ever said/written to me :D Everything I wrote was exactly how I feel and stuff. I usually have trouble writing those kinds of letters but yeah. :O My gran likes Russ :O She was just saying how he was nice and stuff and was asking me a bit about him. Woah. HA! If my gran likes him, and wouldnt mind me going out with him, then mum cant not. But Im not sure how she would go with the 'going out with' part. Eh, they both need to realise Im growing up and I need to experience life and love for myself, not through them and their bad experiences, yes they may be worried because of what happened to them and dont want it to happen to me but I have to find things out for myself. *shakes head* Graduation on tuesday. Finally. I need to write envelopes up so I can post money orders for my two books I won off ebay. Im hungry and I need to take my tablets. Should be off now. 2 People Hate Me

Jerknessness [19 Oct 2003|01:56am] [ mood | tired ] WOO! Im finally home and I cant exactly type Im so tired. It was a good night overall, oh and a good day of course as I got to spend it with my russ :D We went down to Vic Gothic where he bought 2 living dead dolls and he bought me a handbag which I like very much so. We also took some photos which turned out funny and yeah. He met my mother and well, I think it went okay other than he mentioning he looked like jack black and that he was very quiet, thats really all she said. There's heaps to write about but Im too tired :( Nite nite People Hate Me

Once You Seep In Under My Skin, There's Nothing In This World That Could Wash You Away [16 Oct 2003|07:37pm] [ mood | complacent ] [ music | Limp Bizkit - Almost over ] School dragged out today, but eventually it ended and Fiona and I headed into the city to meet up with Russ. We got in a bit early so we headed to Starbucks first off *nods* Mmmm lol. Then we headed down to Russ' work to meet him. He bought me three cd's, even though I told him not to buy me anything :| they were the new limp bizkit album, latest mudvayne and korn - life is peachy. It was great seeing him after almost not seeing him for a week. We went and got piccies in the photo both :D I love em, they are great. I might post them :P~ *goes and uploads them* Im going to make him come and take more with me, cause they are fun and I want more pics of us :D ( Russ and I ) :D *giggles* 1 People Hate Me

[15 Oct 2003|04:20pm] [ mood | hungry ] I get to see Russ tomorrow yay! I can't wait, Ive missed him heaps :( I got to talk to him for a bit during last period today. It was nice :) I'm hungry. Why is it I always forget what I'm going to write? Ugh *shakes head* oh well I'll live. I want mum to hurry up and piss off to school so I don't have to hear her for a few hours. Laura keeps asking me for my Slipknot tshirt, I dont intend on lending it to her, not if she cant give it back to me till like monday...Ugh. Well I can't crap on today so I'll leave it at this. Bye. People Hate Me

[14 Oct 2003|06:27pm] Mum is calling the agent tomorrow and telling her to sell our house. People Hate Me

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