.Kira.'s Blurty

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Time:	7:18 pm.
Mood:	pensive.

I've been much, much too thoughtful this weekend.

I haven't seen David since Thursday, and I miss him to no end. And I probably won't get to see him till Wednesday, and that might not be till later, because we might go to Skate Factory from 7-9.

I hate my father. ._.

Anyways...Like I said, I've been very thoughtful this weekend. Mostly from reading Mars, since I got volumes 9-12. It just gets me all emotional and crap, mainly because it's so much like us.

I need to make sure Mom and Dad let me graduate early. But I'm not going to Simon's Rock. I'd rather graduate at the end of next year, get a job and work for a year or two, then move out and get a house or apartment and live with David and get married and go to college.

I wish I were better at talking to people.

But, I'm pretty sure Mom will let me graduate early. Dad's too education-based and keeps insisting I should go to Simon's Rock, but I flat-out refuse. I can't be away from David for more than a few days. That's all there is to it; I just can't. That's why I want to just graduate early so I'll have time to save up, so by the time I have enough money, I'll be old enough to move out and get a house or apartment with David.

It feels like the past 16 years have taken forever, but the future's coming so fast. Except when it comes to my age and trustworthiness with my parents. That's just going much too slow.

I want to lose weight, but I doubt I can. But hey, it's not as important as I make it out to be, I guess. I mean, my aunt and my grandma both commented that I lost weight or looked skinny while I was at my grandparents' house this weekend. Mainly because I was wearing my new Nightmare Before Christmas PJs, instead of the super-baggy clothes that I normally wear. And David loves me just the way I am. So like I said, I guess it's not too important, as long as I stay roughly around the weight I'm at now and don't go much higher.

I was thinking about cleaning out my plastic bins sometime this week. Getting rid of all the junk I'll never use, especially once I finally move out. I really won't need that much...just the necessities, and the things I'm really attached to or just refuse to throw away.

I wish I were still in camera club. Well, I am, but I wish I were still earning money from it. I could save up.

What do you have to buy when you get a new house or apartment? I mean, will you need a new fridge, or will the previous owners just leave theirs there for you? And a stove?...

I wish I were old enough to move out.

I've been wishing a lot today. Hmm.

I need to either play games or go to bed...tomorrow, maybe I'll sort. I guess maybe I'll snack for now, since Dad's still hogging the TV...even though I'm not very hungry...

Why is it that, sometimes, your parents get mad at you for acting immature, but when you try to be more mature, they still don't think you're trustworthy? I really hate that.

I'm leaving now. Probably gonna snack on goldfish or salad, or just sit and be bored and write in the journal I got. I'm using it as a kind of random thoughts thing, but I think I'll just let David see it. It's all based around him, anyways. I can't help it.

I'd write my book now, but I know I wouldn't be able to. I have chunks of it in my head, but it's not good enough to be written down yet.

It's too bad you can't drop out of high school and still go to a good college.

I just don't see a point in High School anymore.

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Time:	9:55 am.
Mood:	blah.

Hm.

So, Natalie's coming around noon. Josh and I are stuck cleaning up... [Ugh] I have to go bring Dannie and her mom their presents sometime soon...

Whoo, I'm wearing David's shirt again. *sniffs it* ^-^ Whee. I have to wait till next week to see him, though... TT_TT It's gonna be a looooong weekend...Good thing I'll have video games and books to keep me occupied.

Hm, I know I wanted to write something but I forget what.

Miracle on 34th Street is on. I've seen this ending a thousand times, but oh well.

I'm planning on spending the day reading and playing video games...yay...

I should go bring Dannie's presents.

Ja ne.

[Edit: I remember now. Just wanted to point out that I won't be home from tomorrow till probably Sunday or Monday, so HAPPY CHRISTMAHANUKWANZAKAHYULEETC.! :D I'll probably post all of my presents later...]

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Time:	5:10 pm.
Mood:	thoughtful.

Hum dee dum.

I have no homework, aside from the math from last week that I should be doing...

About me graduating early:

I'd have to take English 11, English 12, S.S. 11, S.S. 12 ["Eco./P.I.G.," whatever that is...I forget], Chemistry, Lab and P.E., Human Development, Keyboarding, and one other class [Art III, Math Course IV, or Spanish Course IV...most likely Art]. That would get me to graduate by the end of next year.

OR I could go to this other place, which would pretty much qualify as me transferring out of High School and into a college sort of thing. I'd leave next fall. It's in Massachusetts, about 50 minutes to an hour away, kinda where Natalie's new house is.

I have one major problem, though. The last thing I mentioned would get me out even earlier, BUT it would be torture. I mean, the actual being in a college with kids as young as 14 [hard to explain, but they have this early entry thing...] would be fun, but...Well, I want to be with David. I can't be away from him for more than a few days; a week is hard. I wouldn't be able to live on a campus that's an hour away, and only see him maybe once a month. I just couldn't do it.

So, if I can convince Dad, I think I'll just graduate at the end of next year. Maybe get a job, or go to a college that's closer. Ms. Weiner didn't really like the idea for me working a year and then going to college, because that year would be completely school-free. Which could make my thinking habits go waaaaay downhill. But really, if I worked that year and saved up for college, I could move out the year after, go to New Paltz or someplace, and maybe get a house and live with David.

I wanted to mention it to Ms. Weiner...My and David's plans to stay together and get married and live together, etc. But Dad was there, and I don't know how seriously Ms. Weiner would take me, seeing as I'm only 16 [shh, don't tell the blurty people]. I may be young, but I'm mature, and I know that David and I could live a happy life together.

So yeah...I don't know exactly what I'm doing. Hopefully I can figure it all out tonight when I talk with Dad, and I might be able to take keyboarding over the summer...

Wow, that was a long rant about my future. o_O;;

Okay, now I'm bored again.

I'm off to play Final Fantasy. :D

Ja ne.

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Time:	2:07 pm.
Mood:	excited.

Well.

I haven't updated in a while. Sorry. X| Hm...as far as updates go:

My party was fun. We learned Tom can jump over 4 chairs lined up, which suprised me. o.O But yeah. Uh...Oh! If anyone finds a sterling silver wedding band with turquoise-colored triangle-shaped stones set in it, PLEASE GIVE IT TO ME!

Um...anyways...I'm going to be playing video games and reading for the next 2 months. :D Yay.

I had a good day today, even though I stayed home because my head hurt and I didn't feel good. I just can't find anything I want to eat...I don't want chips and the only soup we have is Campbell's...

Yay, tomorrow we're going to the mall. ^-^ I get to go to HotTopic and hopefully get my collar, hair dye and a bracelet for David...and pins for Dannie for X-Mas...

Saturday I'm going to David's. THANK. GOD. I haven't been there in almost 3 weeks. TT_TT One word: T.o.r.t.u.r.e.

I adore these PJs...

Wow, I'm jumping from subject to subject.

I wish they still had a Spencer's in Kingston.

Okay, I'm going to search for food.

Ja ne.

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Subject:	I miss him so much.
Time:	7:37 pm.
Mood:	lonely.

Okay, just took a shower because I was talking to Ethan and Jeff and I started to cry [NOT THEIR FAULT]. I'm not sure exactly why I did, but I think it's because I miss David so much.

I haven't seen him since last Friday, and that was only for a little more than two hours. Otherwise, he's been home because of the cold messing with his arthritis.

All I want is for me to be able to go to his house on Saturday. I need to spend time with him. Not want to, need to. It sounds sad, but I can't help it. I love him, and it's hard not seeing him for a while. I need to hug him, kiss him...just be with him.

If I didn't care so much about upsetting my parents or getting in major trouble, I'd walk to his house right now. I don't care that it's cold and dark and would take me forever. I'd walk there just to see him.

I know he never reads this, let alone knows this even exists, but I have to say it:

David, I love you. Always, forever...More than anyone or anything, more than words can say and more than there are stars. I don't know how I could ever truly tell you how much I really love you. But just believe me: I do, with all my heart and soul. ♥♥♥

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Time:	6:07 pm.
Mood:	pessimistic.

I'm in such a frickin' bad mood right now.

I can't understand my math homework, because it's tons harder than what he taught us in class. So, I'm gonna take the half-credit. And we have a quiz tomorrow.

I'm starting to just plain not care about schoolwork anymore. That's not good.

Yesterday sucked. Today sucked. Tomorrow's gonna suck.

I just want it to be Thursday night so I can [hopefully] see David, do Santa's Helpers, get a balloon, sleep, and wake up to my birthday.

I swear, I'll break into tears if I can't go to David's this Saturday. I haven't been there in almost TWO WEEKS, and it's one of the few things that's guaranteed to make me happy.

UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I need to go make tea. Maybe that'll help. Or, with my luck, I'll spill boiling water on myself and just go to bed and cry. Joy.

I need a hug. I need David to be here. I need to be with him. I miss him. So much.

Ja ne...

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Time:	7:43 pm.
Mood:	blah.

Look, I'm updating when I should be making notes for the stupid debate tomorrow. Oh well.

Good thing I have a good English grade, 'cause I'm SCREWED.

Haha, David's at Shain's and I'm talking to Shain:

Kira: tell David...pocket.... :D
Shain: wearing

Hahahahhahahahaha. Pocket. ^-^ Aw, I miss pocket.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay David might come see Amanda and I when we're doing Santa's Helpers.

I want it to be Friday SO FRIGGIN' BAD right now. TT_TT

I have to wash clothes so I'll have the outfit I want.

I want to keep the keychain from the purse grandma and grandpa gave me, and then return it...If they ask about the keychain, it never had one... ;D

Ahhh I forget what I was gonna talk about.

ILOVEDAVIDILOVEDAVIDILOVEDAVIDILOVEDAVIDILOVEDAVIDILOVEDAVIDILOVEDAVIDILOVEDAVIDILOVEDAVIDILOVEDAVIDILOVEDAVIDILOVEDAVIDILOVEDAVIDILOVEDAVIDILOVEDAVIDILOVEDAVIDILOVEDAVIDILOVEDAVIDILOVEDAVIDILOVEDAVID. ^-^

Ok, I'm gonna go make my lunch for tomorrow and then write and then go to bed.

Ja ne!

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Time:	4:02 pm.
Mood:	excited.

Whoo.

Okay, so we couldn't find the pixi sticks. TT_TT BUT we got other stuff:

Regular potato chips, BBQ potato chips, crunchy cheese doodles, animal crackers, pretzels, crunchy Chinese noodles, and Slim Jims. ^-^

Geez, I can't wait till Friday.

We got white table cloths for the tables we're gonna put the snacks on, and we have this other table cloth for when we have cake...

My cake's gonna be a vanilla cake with whipped cream icing, and neon green trim. :D And multi-colored balloons...

We're having turkey and mashed taters for supper tonight. Whoo, replica of Thanksgiving. XD

I have nothing to do, and I'm HUNGRY.

I wish we could skip the next 4 days and go right to Friday. :P

Anyone know exactly what time school gets out on Friday? I DON'T want to have to ask Mr. Ball.

Okay, I guess that's it for now.

Ja ne!

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Time:	9:18 am.
Mood:	excited.

Well, Dannie's party was fun. ^-^ Except for the part where I got murdered with balloons. I still can't figure out which way to bend my glasses so they're back to normal... [Argh, Ethan and Tom!]

Hm. Okay, I know that Dannie, Alex, Amanda B., Amanda S., David, Ashley, Patti and Amber won't need rides. So, it'll just be Sarah, Susan, Randi, Kayla, Ethan, Fallyn [?], Jeff, Tom, Krystal, Cody and Sammy who will, if everyone comes.

Mom and I are going shopping soon at Price Chopper & Dollar Tree for snack foods and stuff for my party. Whee! We hafta get chips, chinese noodles, crunchy cheese doodles, doritos, pretzels, soda, etc...And the CAKE! Most likely, the cake'll be vanilla with whipped cream icing, and pudding and maybe strawberries in the middle. Whoooo.

Mom got me a pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey set. XD It's so cheesy-looking, it's funny.

Soooo...I know we're gonna play that, Twister, and musical chairs....Anyone have any other ideas for games and stuff?

Oh, and everyone will have a giant pixi stick, most likely. Yay!

Okay, remember, guys: If you need a ride, please give me directions to your house so my mom'll know where to go to pick you up!

Ja ne!

[Note: Haha, Mommy wrapped my presents, and I can already tell that one of them is either a DVD or a PS2 game. :D]

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Time:	5:33 pm.
Mood:	frustrated.

RRRRRRRRGH I am SO not having a good day.

Boring as heck, Amanda's stressed out, Amber's having issues with rumors started by Amanda F., and my day after school sucked.

Mom got home and I asked her about my party, because we were still trying to figure out where to have it, and blah blah blah. She got mad at me for wanting an answer for everyone by Friday so I could hand out invitations--because she said she'd let me know by then what's going on. And then stupid Trevor called again and took 5 minutes to get off the friggin' phone, even though Josh had told him EARLIER that he had to concentrate on homework. So I got mad because he ALWAYS FREAKING CALLS, and I said loudly, hoping he could hear me, "Trevor, go away and let him concentrate!" So, Mom got even madder at me for that, and I haven't talked to her for the past hour because of it.

Wonderful, huh?

Anyways...I have the invitations made out, so all I have to do is print all of them and hand them out. Mom said I should just assume that we're having the party at St. Pat's church, because it's very likely that we will.

I have to remember...the first trip will be me, her, Ethan, Fallyn, Sammy, Dannie and Susan, if they all can come. Mom'll drop us off there, and then she'll go pick up everyone else who isn't walking there...[If everyone comes, that'll be Sarah, Randi, Kayla, Ashley, Tom, Krystal, Patti, and Jeff].

God, this is confusing and stressful.

I should study S.S. and stuff, and do the last math question, but I really don't feel like it.

I want to stay home tomorrow. I really do.

Ugh.

God, I hope David can come over Friday. And I hope I can go to his house next Saturday.

I wish it was earlier and warmer out...I'd go for a walk or bikeride or something.

Arghhhh.

Okay, printing out invitations.

Ja ne.

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Time:	4:26 pm.
Mood:	content.

Whoo. My day was pretty boring, till I got home.

David's Christmas presents came today. :D

I had a really strong urge to look at the wallscroll, but if I unrolled it I'd never get it back to the way it was rolled up. But it's huge! It's too wide for a normal door. o_O Good thing David doesn't have a door to his room...hopefully he won't mind making room on his wall.

The figures are each in their own little package thingy. I think they were part of some promotional thing for Final Fantasy and Coca Cola...But anyways, I didn't open them. Just looked at the packages.

I also got my kiwi-flavored ramune. :D It's a Japanese soft drink that comes in a really weird-shaped glass bottle. To open it, you have to push down a marble so it actually goes into the drink. It stays half-way down in the bottle, though, because the bottle curves to hold the marble. Anyways, it was good. ^-^ Cost me $2.25, but it was good.

So, I wrapped all of David's presents. I had to use this Christmas bear wrapping paper, because Mom didn't really have anything I liked...Oh well. I had fun. :D

I can't believe it only took them 2 days to send it all, though! Probably because it was just from NYC...But the UPS tracking thing says it went to a few other places for "scans" before they delievered it. Hm, oh well. AnimeCastle rocks! ^-^ If Amanda had a computer and a credit card, she'd be in heaven...

I can't wait to order more stuff from there. :D After Christmas, of course. Because I'm broke right now. x_o

Okee, gotta go do homework and eat my chips.

Ja ne!

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Time:	2:25 pm.
Mood:	excited.

LISTEN UP.

I'm having my birthday party on Friday, December 10th [the day of my birthday], from 1-5 pm.

We have a half-day, so don't worry, it won't clash with school hours.

I'm not sure exactly where we're having it, but I'll probably know sometime this week.

I'm open to any suggestions for games and stuff to pass the time. All I have so far are Twister, musical chairs and pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey [I'm so mature XD].

The main problem, though, will be whether or not people have rides. Because it's so early in the day, not everyone's parents will be home to drive them.

So, if you can, PLEASE try to find someone who can drive you. And like I said, I should know where we're having it by the end of the week.

Anyways. The people on my invite list are David, Amanda, Dannie, Al, Sarah S., Susan F., Amber, Kayla W., Ethan, Fallyn, Ashley G., Randi and Jeff G.

IF YOU'RE NOT ON THAT LIST, CONTACT ME IF YOU WANT TO COME! ^-^ I'll invite whoever, it doesn't matter much. Just, please, get a ride. X___x We can't carpool with everyone, the van only holds 7 people. 5 if you take away me and Mom, because I don't think Josh's coming.

I'll continue to post updates when I get them. And I'll probably give out formal invites. :D

Oh, but I don't think we're gonna have goody bags, sorry. x_x BUT I'm gonna try and see if we can get a giant pixi stick for each person. :D YAY SUGAR HIGH!

Alrighty, that's all for now.

Remember, make plans and try to find a ride!

Ja ne!

[EDIT: As far as gifts go, Spencer's or Waldenbooks or HotTopic or FYE giftcards would be great. :D Or money. I prefer to have the ability to pick out what I'd like.]