| [ |
mood |
| |
lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
nfg |
] |
haha my blurty. I've gotta say this was my best journal. This is when I actually got comments, this is when people actually took time out to read what I had to say.
I figure I'll give a quick update, and I guess I'll go a little more indepth since chances are no one reads this. I've got a crush, and I can't stand it. I basically can't see anything happening, and can't see myself telling her either. I was going too, but something happened to change my decision to come out with it, so idk, I think I'll just let it fade. I'm lonely as I'll ever be. I barely get to hang out with anyone anymore. And when I do hang out with people, it just isn't the same. All my friends are closer friends with each other than I am with them. If that makes sense. I'm out of the loop. Michelle's getting christmas presents for it seems almost everyone BUT me. I know its not that big of a deal. I dont want anything. But, this is someone that at times I like to consider my best friend, its just such a drag. And I don't want to come out with something like this. I don't think anyone understands things like that. It's not an attention sort of thing. It's not me trying to be dramatic. It's just me, wanting to be closer to the people that I like to talk too, and like to spend time with. If I were to actually say something, it would just come off as pathetic, and at that, selfish.
When I get my license, I keep telling myself things will be a lot different than they are now. I don't know how much different, we'll have to see. I'm gonna start working. I'm gonna try and start playing hockey again somewhere, maybe America Inline or something. I'm not sure if there's any leagues where I'm not too old to sign up. I hope not. I'm sure there's gotta be something out there, Ice hockey or Roller hockey. I have to schedule my road test though. And I have to pass it. 5 weeks left of drivers ed.
What a relief it is that it's the weekend. School is so stressful. I can't stay awake for things. Homework sucks. My house sucks. I need a place where I can just sit down and say "Alright, it's time to do this shit". I'm too easily distracted, too quick to say "ehhh I'll do this in study hall tomorrow."
Anyways. It's been fun blurty. I probably won't update you for another 2 years haah
|