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here's the announcement peeps: i've got a new blog view it at http://outlier.blogdrive.com it's gonna take a while before it's where i want it to be, so be nice and patient ya...:) |
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Blurty for mean.17.
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| Thursday, May 25th, 2006 |
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what was God's perfect will? that huimin goes through a crazy tough year...and still comes out on top. But instead of that happening, i am far far far from actually coming out on top. I am on some weird ground place. i dunno lar...fed up. wanna get hit by a car and die die die. woohoo! then i get to go home. but i don't think that God is letting me go back. it's annoying. -_-" lalalalla k lar...go. feeling super inadquate all over again. bah~ |
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| Friday, February 24th, 2006 |
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here's the announcement peeps: i've got a new blog view it at http://outlier.blogdrive.com it's gonna take a while before it's where i want it to be, so be nice and patient ya...:) |
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| Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006 |
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yo yo yo. i am back from my second beach trip in 3 months! one summer with heaps of beach = not-quite-so-deathly-pale min. :D aaaahhh~ it's a really huge time of the year...after chilling (and almost dying, mind u...but that's a story in itself), it's back to work work work. i am filled with appointments till the end of the week. i left for er...4 days or so and my mailbox was filled with 24 plus emails. and since it was over the weekend, i didn't get spammed by the bioengineering institute. aaaahhh~ good thing about this period though is that my mates are coming back!!! :D yay yay yay! :D ok lar...i might have an announcement soon..:) |
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| Saturday, February 18th, 2006 |
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good morning :) I've been up since 5.30 *grin* and you know what, i slept well. :) alwiz be very careful what you ask of God, cos you might get it in a manner you least expect :P i told God last night that i didn't want to worry about the stuff that's around me. you know, in all things be prayerful? but, knowing me, i decided that i wasn't going to pray about the stuff bothering me, cos really, as lily said, it's my chilling time. i think i needed to go to God and really submit that my worrying is really not something to do. that i should trust Him and not take His burdens upon me...burdens i was never supposed to carry. :) God is good...i slept at 1? and i woke up at 2.24 super awake, went back to bed, woke up, and lay around for a while, thinking that my alarm should ring soon...after awhile, i checked the time: 5.13. ahahha! decided it was too early to wake up. but after awhile i gave up and got up and started the packing :D heheh... i'm going to shower after this and then do qt :D spend time with Daddy...i shall take lily cheah's advice for this weekend and r.e.s.t. in Jesus. *smile* an awesome year is ahead of us. are u excited? *grin* cos i sure am...:) may you all be blessed in this time...if you are headed back to uni, may you take your last week to recharge your batteries with God juice. may you look back at your holiday and see where God stood: by your side. may you realise how good He is...may you realise how unworthy we are. i'll see u guys again on either tuesday or wed....hopefully with a more tanned min *smile* |
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| Friday, February 17th, 2006 |
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it's been quite a week. i will officially whine about how much i hate valentine's in the future, while not actually hating it. me just wanting my attention. *smile* and no, dearies, the reasons why i shall claim to despise valentine's for the years to come are far from romantic. aaaaahh~~ :D maybe then when some guy comes along and makes me wanna be married, i'll stop saying i hate valentine's. or, maybe not and then make him try harder every year to give me a good time on Feb 14th. *grin* it's been a hard few days. and while i cried...i didn't cry as much as i wanted to. for three days, i went to God, not understanding, feeling hopeless, helpless and really, just in a state of shock. and really, it felt as if God was doing nuts...He is the Prince of Peace yet i didn't seem to be getting any of that peace from Him. why? i don't know...prolly cos i was trying to see what i could do. and therein lies all the problems in the world. i thank God for troubles...for the tough times, cos only then do we realise how much we need God. cos only then do we fully understand God's grace, His mercy and His unfailing love and faithfulness. this morning, i woke up at 6.45. i got my first good rest in a long while aye. heh...God is good. :) i practiced my presentation and timed myself for the first time. that proved to be a problem as my watch which is my stopwatch is dead. my battery carrier is in m'sia. heh...:) after i showered, as i alwiz do, i do my quiet time. and as i remembered the sunrise that painted the sky pink and crimson, i praised Jesus for Him, for His grace, for the fact that better days are to come. and you know what? today was a great day. i had my presentation, it went without a hitch. when i arrived at uni, whistling, my mates asked me why i was in such a good mood. you know...that question really got to me. i felt the Holy Spirit say to me, cos you are doing it by My strength. Jesus' yoke is indeed easy. and we have to stop carrying burdens we were never meant to carry around. laying all things yesterday at the foot of the Cross, i feel more free than i have been in weeks. my God is for me, so, who can be against me? borrowing a line from grace choo, whom i take my hat off to, 'God is so good.' :) God bless you... |
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| Thursday, February 16th, 2006 |
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i have a favourite past time: blog crawling. i love hopping from one mate's blog to another, and i occasionally drop by on some random blog and proceed to read through the last 5 entries or something. if they are interesting, i stay for me. the thing is, i tend to get kinda annoyed when my mates don't actually blog, or when those interesting blogs started and ended with just that 5 entries. -_-" why? cos it's a running away from my own life. it's an escape into someone else's mind. their problems. their joys. their pursuits. their loss. their. cos sometimes, you just don't know what to do with your own life. cos it has it's share of rubbish. but. of late, i would so rather take all that is happening to the ppl around me upon myself. i ache to see them smile, to see the spring in their step, to see their eyes twinkle with hope. thing is, that's not possible. and i feel so hopeless, being unable to do anything to make these ppl who mean the world to me feel just a teensy lil bit better. i would take your place in that operating theatre i would take your place crying alone far away from where u want to be at i would take your place writing that eulogy i would take your place moving out i would take your place to turn your back on who you love ...for that twinkle again |
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| Wednesday, February 15th, 2006 |
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is it alright to cry? is it alright not to? in uncertain times, i look to the only Being that is constant, unchanging in His love for me and i find solace in the fact that better days are yet to come. that things will get better. i don't know much these days. and i guess there's where we're meant to be. when we realise we are but nothing, that we know nothing, it is then that we find all our answers in the love of Christ. i may not know why innocents die, or why the poor are oppressed, or why some ppl go through more stuff, or why things in this world is just flipping unfair. but how do i understand things that are eternal, that were never meant to be understood by me. i want to run into the loving arms of my God. i thank God that while noone else gets it, He does. Cos He's been through it all. rejection? heh...Jesus was rejected by the whole world. Loss? Jesus loses the beloved children He made with His very own hands everyday to satan. constantly misunderstood? Jesus' disciples never got Him. who can be against us? if God is on our side we won't be afraid though the mountains may fall and the sky will crumble there ain't nothin' gonna stand in our way" |
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| Tuesday, February 14th, 2006 |
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two words fully describe me at the moment: |
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| Friday, February 10th, 2006 |
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In slightly more than 14 hours, Daphne and Wing are going to be leaving Auckland for Singapore. and flip man...it's too soon aye. heh. I was meaning to be all articulate and stuff, but i have a feeling i'm going to fail miserably. :P I've had 6 months to prepare for this and yet, it feels like i'm far from ready to let Daphne go. wow...i'm very emo these past few days aye. I'm very emo now. seriously, i think i will break down at the airport tmr. i've not cried for anyone at any airport, like ever. no no, not even when aijune left. (i think we prepared for that for even longer periods. ahhahah!) but i dunno..we'll see if i cry tmr. thing is, i know that this will lead to a positive change. cos it's a God thing. all God things are great things. but flip man... Daphne is a woman who i deeply respect. admitedly, i didn't think much of her the first time i met her at ocf. and then, i think i was very the chuin when i met her at church the first week back to nz at the beginning of year 2 (2004). ahahah...but it's amazing, how something so amazing can start from such simple beginnings. to the person who has taught me so much, more through your actions than what you said. thank you for your unfailing belief in me, for pushing me beyond all my limits, for pushing me off the cliff more times than i could ever count. thank you for showing me that i can indeed fly. and most of all, thank you for the love you have poured out so unselfishly upon me. you are indeed one in a million.... |
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| Wednesday, February 8th, 2006 |
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the strongest words i have heard in a long while: |
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| Monday, February 6th, 2006 |
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i just watched grey's anatomy. you know what were the things that made me smile in the show? not the love drama, not the witty comments, not the wry humour (ok, maybe just a little). what made me smile was when george o'mally wraps an arm around meredith grey when she walks into the rain after finding out that her bf was married. what made me smile was george o'mally not bringing back any info about the happenings of the hospital (most of it revolved around his mates) to his boss. i also smiled when george o'mally went the extra mile to make sure jim, the owner of the bar who needed a life-saving surgery performed, got to keep his bar. what made me smile was meredith hugging cristina yang cos cristina got dumped, and was pregnant. [note: i got the names of the characters off the web...this is my second time watching grey's anatomy and my first time watching a full episode] in the afternoon, i watched cinderella man. so much of that show warmed my heart aye. the way jim j braddock loved his family unconditionally, the way he devoted his life to them. i loved the way his wife stood by every decision he made, supported him all the way even though it was the hardest thing for her to do to let her husband get punched around for some bucks. and i loved the way when ppl are desperate, they push so hard, and they turn to God. you see...i'm an idealist. i'm a person who believes that things like that are still possible in our world today. i believe that not only that, but that it is possible in my life. and that i will reap, i will reap what i sow. that my God is on my side. so, maybe i'm not so much an idealist but a realist. cos i know that God never lies. and i know i can lay claim upon all that God has promised me. |
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| Sunday, February 5th, 2006 |
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u have a choice in that. u have a choice to have life everlasting or eternal pain. u have a choice to hurt or be happy. u hold the destiny of your life in your hands. what will you choose? |
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it's a time in my life where alot of change is happening. thing is, as the cliche goes, change is inevitable. as much as we try to resist change, it will happen, whether we like it or not. at times, as much as we want to stay in one spot...as much as we want to put time to a standstill, i am thankful that that was never possible. that God knows better, and so, we don't lose sight of the bigger picture. you know....in the past, i've wanted so much to keep certain things the same. i've wanted so much to stay within my comfort zone that i did alot of dumb things. in desperation, we do dumb thing. we try anything to keep a hold of something, someone, some condition. yet, we fail to realise that for growth to take place, change must occur. or even if we do, we don't want anything to do with it. as i take a step back now, contemplating all the pleas i threw God, i'm so thankful He doesn't mind a whining min too much. cos there's so much more than our puny selfish human perspectives. in change, we both lose and gain. just make sure though that the gain outweighs the loss. and you know, you may end up very very surprised at what you gain. :) -------------- i feel like breakfast. mmm~ should i get pancakes? :D |
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| Friday, February 3rd, 2006 |
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My past few posts have been somewhat depressing. MUAHAHHAHAH! I LIKE AR! DON'T GIVE ISIT?!! hahahha! :D huimin is in a good mood...:) anyway, let's talk light stuff here. I spent er...nzd6.50 today? and it was the most wholesome meals I've had in a while. I got myself mussels and smoked fish. Cooked rice and the most expensive thing was my dessert: Moritz Ciao Chocolatta. heh...i think paddlepop rainbow is still nicer :P ahahah I've missed cooking aye. I miss the way it takes my mind off stuff, just chopping stuff, throwing things together on top of the stove. and it's so much cheaper too. tastes are fresher too. wish i had fruits. that would have topped it all off. unfortunately for me though that foodtown is so kau far. it's too close that i feel guilty taking the bus, and it's too far that carrying the stuff is just painful. any ideas peeps? oklar...i better go. hm...i want company. i feel like blabbering. :P ahahaha. :P |
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| Thursday, February 2nd, 2006 |
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i am stuck at crossroads. i am frustrated, yet i feel i have no right to be. that i should not feel this way cos it's not normal. like, who gets angry with ppl being nice to them!??!?! -_-" the thing that surprises me the most now is the fact that i want to cry....... i feel so dumb aye......so so dumb |
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how does one be friends with a person without taking their issues into account? is that being selfish? i guess it is... i am then guilty of what i am so against.... sigh... |
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| Wednesday, February 1st, 2006 |
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With running water Call me out And show me how - Paul Colman Trio Many a time have I heard those words spoken, and many more have I seen them written. I have always taken the phrase 'fill my cup with running water' as allowing Jesus' as living water quench all our thirsts, irregardless of what they are. Water seeps into all the nooks, crannies and crevices of our lives, bringing forth life. It has never hit me though that Jesus came to fill the voids in our life in the same way: with living water. That He pours forth Himself, saturating, flooding, soothing our deepest innermost fears and insecurities. I was talking to Lily today while gourging on this most marvellous baked rice with cream sauce (yum!) and the topic of relationships once again arose. I told her that I am far from ready to be in a relationship. Am I able to stand alone? Am I able to live independent of whoever who comes into my life, solely relying on the Rock of Ages? Am I secure in who I am, because I am secure in who Christ is in me? I've realised that until I get those issues sussed, I'm never going to be ready to be in a long term relationship. I'm not saying that I get everything perfect for I will fail miserably at attempting that. And while the feelings of loneliness wash over me now and then, I want to be able to be content in the presence of my God. For man will never satisfy, man will always disappoint. And so, I pray that prayer: fill my cup to the top with running water. |
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| Friday, January 27th, 2006 |
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Lydia Pok just arrived in Auckland yesterday. yay! :D heh...she's been in the country less than 24 hours and already she's made me running around like a kuli for her. ahahah! Nah, the university mucked up her accommodation along with her 6 friends and so, being the only person who was in Auckland who had been longer than 1 week, she enlisted me for help. ahahha! I'm being so mean to her *grin* But man, it's awesome that she's here aye. It's like, shiok! Anyway, wait, let me get to the bit that i really really really am blown away about. Thursday nights are my cell group nights, and so, I oqul usually be busy at that time. What happened yesterday was that my members all pull out for some reason or other. And all my stuff was already prepared aye. (I still reckon it's a message that's worth doing. :P) So anyhow, sitting at home, I got a txt from my cousin telling me that Miss Pok needs me urgently. ah~ a call later, turns out her accommodation is mucked up and these poor peeps are having the worst experience ever being away from home for the first time. Well, to cut a long story short, because Lyd and I are connected on the Jesus Christ Network, the Father could ensure that I was freely available to help her out. Wow. just proves what contacts or rather the Contact, can do for you. *grin* my God is awesome. lydia around is awesome. and caleb is awesome too (cos this dear boy is transporting lyd's luggage from my place to grafton for her :P ok lar...awesome for other reasons too :D) heh..God's good :) |
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| Thursday, January 26th, 2006 |
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i blogged yesterday morning, but i never got to finish that blog post. i had to rush to work and i never got around to finishing that post. so, here i am, blogging on a whole other thing now. :) i met up with ching, sharon and junia yesterday. oh man, that was like so cool. we were just going thru ideas for ching's wedding and we were all getting really excited about it. hahah! and then after, when junia had left, we just shared what's been up with us aye. and from all that's happening, i think that God's just really showing us His faithfulness. :) eeeee~~ there's so much to talk about man. hahahah...i am pumped though i didn't get all too good a sleep...AND i have to go to work soon. boohoo~~ :'( do u peeps realise i am not a fan of this work thing? only 14 days to go though. C'MON MAN! woooot~ CHINESE NEW YEAR IS COMING!!!!!!!!! lalalalla~ i is very high...okok...enough. have awesome days ya. and if you have extra praying time (which really, everyone should have) pray that huimin stays dry on this gorgeous thursday :) |
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| Monday, January 23rd, 2006 |
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in the month of december when i'm hardout shopping for stuff, i found out that the swatch watch i wanted was out of stock. so i put it on the site's wishlist thinking that since it's a 1999 made watch, it wasn't going to appear, ever. i was wrong. the site just emailed me and informed me that they have the watch in stock! eeeee~ but i was thinking it was still way too ex lar..i mean, nzd200 all together to get it shipped to wonderful kiwi country. that was my guesstimate. i was also wrong. guess what, the watch was discounted 15% cos i'm not buying it in the EU. AND the shipping is like only 15 bucks when i expected it to be some extravagant figure. eeeee~~ now the watch is only nzd160. aaaaa~~ dilemma. to buy or not to buy? do i need a new watch? my old watch died on me on new year's eve. i think it was a sign that in the new year, it was time for a new watch (i wish). c'mon man, 6 years with that darn thing. sigh.... i dunno man... on other issues, lily cheah phui lii bought me earrings. hahahahahha~ and yes, she knows that my ears are not pierced. heh... so brilliant rite? no lar...that girl remembered this convo we had one day looking at accessories. i dared her to pick out a pair of earrings i would potentially wear. she obviously failed. so i guess this was her comeback. ahahha. but in all honesty, they are a very nice pair. and i was 'trying' them on last nite and wah...even i was shocked at how feminine i looked with them. siao. ahahhaha...if i can get someone to pierce their upper ear with me, i'm gonna get it done. ooooh...must ask lyd :D hehehe... btw, i am NOT in a good mood...oklar..i'm in a decent mood. just that work is as alwiz a pain and i just wanted a form of release. :) bye bye. :P |
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Blurty for mean.17.
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calm.
happy.
satisfied.
numb.
stressed.
sad.
contemplative.
thoughtful.
bouncy.
amused.