| *grins* |
[11 Apr 2003|08:47pm] |
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mood |
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 jubilant |
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Baylee and I left Brit's this afternoon and we dropped in on Kevin and Kris...well instantly Kristin insisted we stay and Kevin wanted to see Baylee and I. So I'm still in Cali and its been a great time!
You will never guess what happened! I was going up to pack and Brit said she'd watch Baylee for me. So I left Baylee in the care of his "Auntie Britney" and went upstairs. I no more than got my suitcase out when I heard Brit calling for me. I ofcourse suspected it was bad and ran down the stairs....I always think something bad has happened when I have someone yelling for me and Baylee is with them. Brit yanks me into the living room and there is Baylee....crawling all over and quite proud of himself! We both went banannas and I ran for the video camera I always carry around. I come back and Brit is on all fours crawling around with Baylee. He's all grins....to be honest that was his first "Littrell Grin" he's ever had. Now that he's started crawling...I cant get him to stop. He has Kris and Kev running all over putting anything breakable up higher.
I am just about to call Brian to tell him the good news. I feel bad because the only firsts he's seen have been the first smile and then he heard his first laugh. I plan to let him see all the videos I've done of Baylee's firsts....but yeah I need to go do that call now. I'll be online tonight probably then I wont be on again til Sunday night...I think.
Britney or should I say "Auntie Britney"- Thanks! I'm glad you could share this milestone today. You will be a fantastic mommy someday!
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| I <3 LA! |
[09 Apr 2003|12:42pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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Lets see....well I'll just start with the fact this was all Brit's suggestion and I am glad she offered for me to stay there! She is a wonderful person and we've become great friends. Its been a long time since I've been out here and its been a great vacation.
Monday after Brit picked Baylee and I up ....she introduced me to her mom and Jamie-Lynn and we left Baylee in their hands while we went out for lunch. We had a great talk....I never in a million years thought I'd have so much in common with Britney Spears but I do. We each talked about our relationships, well her current and my former relationships. Its so nice to have someone who understands and who cares.
Later on we went shopping and lord knows when you put women in a mall.....we come home loaded with tons of stuff. It was lots of fun and I'd do it again anytime! After we shopped we went and got Jamie-Lynn and we went to dinner...just casual but it was nice and we had a great time!
This morning I woke up and she wasnt here but I read the note and had to grin when I saw she was with Justin. Brian and I used to run off together all the time when he toured. We used to leave the hotel the fellas were staying at and go to another one just so we wouldnt be disturbed by anyone. *smiles as she remembers*
If anyone makes my new best friend happy....it would have to be Justin. You give Brit a chance and she will talk your ear off about him. I never have really been face to face with him before but from what she tells me he's great and she really loves him. They are lucky to have each other when the day ends.
Brit- Thanks for listening to me and letting me stay with you......its been a nice change from Atlanta. You are a great friend!
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| A quick quiz |
[04 Apr 2003|02:47pm] |
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mood |
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 rushed |
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Hey Kell! Lookie! I'm Velma too!
Which chicago Character Are You?
Brought to you by Faytrial
Well I am dragging Brian out to see this house today....and Baylee is pitching a fit so I cant really be in the chat at the moment. *pouts* Maybe a lil later ya'll! I need to get him dressed and get going now but I saw this quiz and had to take it!
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| *smiles* |
[01 Apr 2003|07:20pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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Its so nice to have Baylee home again! *grins* He's such a happy baby....its incredible! He came home over a week ago.....hence my being offline for a while. He's still a bit weird around Brian but I am working on it. I hate the fact Brian cant even hold his son.
Anywho....Baylee and I went driving while Brian did a conference call and we found a house for him. Baylee's reaction was all these lil grins and giggles....it was so cute! So I am going to try and get Brian to go look at it. I think he'll love it....he and I have always had similar tastes in real estate...among other things. Until he finds a place though, he's staying here with us and I must admit...its wonderful to have him here. He and I have always had great talks from day one....actually our relationship was based on alot of talking for a long time...."I love you" didnt come for quite a while...what was it...a year give or take? You cant go rushing into those words....they should be cherished...not just thrown out there.
then again.....I guess I shouldnt exactly be giving advice on love huh...*laughs nervously*
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[21 Mar 2003|07:46pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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nothing......just the dogs yapping |
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Well the doctor told me that Baylee can come home tomorrow as long as his check-up goes well. I'm glad to see my baby doing better....he smiles all the time now. I just wish he wasnt so.....weird around Brian. He screams, kicks, cries and everything when Brian even touches him. I know it hurts him terribly....I can see it....but I have to admit, if he had came to visit once in a while Baylee wouldnt be so strange around his father. I cant help but wonder if maybe the reason he left was because he wasnt ready to be a father....if thats the case then why didnt he figure this out beforehand......it would have been greatly appreciated. Maybe I just dont want to admit to myself that he just fell out of love with me. *sighs* Thats seems to be popular now.
Since he got here and found out how I really feel he's just been distant and avoiding me....god he's good at that. I'm glad he brought the dogs....they've been sleeping with me at night....I missed them so much its great to have them here again. They sit in my lap and follow me everywhere I go. *smiles*
*looks over her shoulder* I have to go.....its high time the silence between Brian and I be broken.
Bye!
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| Awkwardness.... |
[12 Mar 2003|04:35pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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I have been talking to Brian since we got here at 3:45. I didnt yell this time which I think he had been expecting.....he looked terrified when I said we needed to talk. I felt so uncomfortable with him in my house....I guess its just because he doesnt live there anymore. I sat down and told him that I had been dating a wonderful guy that loved me and Baylee both to pieces. I think he noticed the pictures scattered around the house of James and Baylee....and I'm not sure what he thought of it. I then went on to tell him that I also got dumped by this same guy a couple days ago and that has just made me feel 200% more undesireable than I was when Brian told me he wanted a divorce. I dont think he has ever seen me so out of it before and I now know he hade no clue I didnt want the divorce. He was speechless.....absolutely speechless. I admitted that I only said yes to it because I felt like he had needed an answer that second....and have regretted not saying no. He asked me if he could stay at my place instead of getting a hotel room and I agreed....there's plenty of rooms.
Before we left for the hospital I told him I wanted to make sure my mother wasnt there.....because my mother will kill him on sight if she's there when he comes. She's so mad at him...and I dont know what to say to anything she snaps about....she's blaming him for everything and making all sorts of accusations. Frankly, its making me mad too.
We got here to the hospital and Brian ofcourse wanted to hold Baylee. The nurse agreed and neither he nor I had expected the reaction he got. He picked Baylee up and to my dismay that baby just started screaming and crying and squirming like crazy. I couldnt believe it and the look on Brian's face was total hurt. I took Baylee and he quieted right down and fell asleep. I apologized up, down, left and right to Brian...I hadnt expected a reaction like that. I have tried desperately to keep Baylee's memory of his father alive with BSB songs, pictures, videos....everything I can....and I had thought it was working. I just cant believe this.....I left him in there alone and I am watching him....he's just sitting there with his head in his hands.......and its not my place to comfort him anymore. *sighs* If we were together....I could sit there and comfort him and tell him it would be ok...and hold him....but now...its just not my place.
I best wrap this up......I may go back in there in a second.
Brian- I'm so sorry about this......if I had known he'd be that way I would have never put you through that. I'm so so so so so sorry.
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| I hate hospitals |
[11 Mar 2003|07:28pm] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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music |
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"Cry"- Faith Hill |
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What a way to do my first update. I've been at the hospital since about 10pm last night. Baylee has pneumonia and I havent slept in days. I was sent home by my sister Tracy this morning to try and rest. Lo and behold the phone is ringing and guess who decides to call.....my ex-husband. I let him have it for being out of reach like this. I mean he hasnt seen Baylee since the divorce and now when his son needs him...I cant even call him. He doesnt realize what he's put me through.....but I wont get into that. Its between Brian and I.
I am crazy with worry and have no one here to hold me and tell me its going to be ok. Thank god for Nick.....I have a feeling he's going to be my rock until I start feeling like myself again. The song I'm listening to sooo fits my feelings now.
I need to go....the nurse is letting me hold my baby now...
God Bless
Leighanne
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