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–› [wrote in the sand at 1:29pm on 7.6.04 ] hey all-- i decided to stop writing in this thing altogether, i have barely any more time to do it.... if you want to know whats going on with me, just ask! most of the time, ill tell :) skinny»dipping ;)

–› woo [wrote in the sand at 11:44am on 7.1.04 ] mood » tired music » buried alive- senses fail wow, so yesterday kicked ass.... saw the cubs play the astros with ryne and his dad, was on national cable television because the homer that barret hit was caught by someone who was like 3 feet away from me... and ryne had his shirt off, so everyone saw that... nice. even though the cubs lost, it was a good game. after we got back in town at 9 we saw spiderman 2.... WOW. everyone who hasnt seen it, GO SEE IT... not joking, it was amazing. got home at about 12:15, fell asleep... and there ya go. today i dont know what im doing, maybe the mall, who knows.... maybe something with eileen tonight, dunno that either... i dont have much else to write. skinny»dipping ;)

–› [wrote in the sand at 1:16am on 6.28.04 ] today this really ugly, smelly guy ('el sedro') took me to see dodgeball, and the only reason i really went was because he paid for it, so i was like- hey, free ticket to the movies, and since its in a movie theatre we dont have to talk...- haha, jk. after that we picked up some texas roadhouse to go... and i got myself a job application, and the guy i talked to seemed interested and said they were hiring, so hopefully ill be a future hostess there... :). then we ate at his house, and talked to his parents, and now im going to the cubs game with him and his dad on wednesday, so that should be cool, i just hope im not intruding on "father son bonding time" or whatever, lol. steph august and mary oliger came over later, marys really nice and steph cracks me up so it was cool... then dino and galen came over and just chilled for a bit... and then i left. talked to kimberly nicole for about an hour when i got home and now here i am. THREE DAYS LEFT OF DRIVERS ED.... only 12 days till my birthday.... and now i cant think of anything else to write about, except its really hard to see what im typing without being like 3 inches away from the screen because i took my contatcs out and im blind without them, so there ya go... :) skinny»dipping ;)

–› !#(*&@! [wrote in the sand at 12:46pm on 6.27.04 ] mood » tired music » sic transit gloria (glory fades)- brand new last night was one crrrazzzy night.... andys was a lot of fun, gotta love everyone, i missed them! then at like 1130 ryne picked me up, he was with galen and dino and we went to natalee johnsons... which was cool for about the 10 minutes i stayed... then he took me home, and now the song "dont worry, be happy" takes a whole new meaning.. lol. i was on the phone with him till like 230 and then my phone died... so i fell asleep. today i was supposed to have lunch with becca and mr patterson (i didnt yesterday), but idk whats going on with that. my whole family is at my brothers baseball double header in dubuque (or something with a d, i dont remember).... uhh... not much else to say! skinny»dipping ;)

–› post [wrote in the sand at 10:28am on 6.26.04 ] mood » just waking up music » freebird- lynard skynard yesterday i actually got some things done.. me and kimmie went on a run, and we ran the WHOLE time... isnt that right kim? haha i took a nap... dont really remember the last time i did that. then i watched a movie, monster... it was a little upsetting but what can ya do. (if youre thinking that this isnt productive, i usually sit on my ass in front of the computer so it was a nice change of pace) then i organized my closet... by COLOR... yeah, its pretty damn cool. im still not done yet because i realized i need a LOT more hangers. then i went out with ryne... by that time it was around 10, so we went to visit dino at work, then to mcdonalds.. then the park. all in all, a good time. today im supposed to have lunch with mr patterson, i think hes moving a lot of his stuff down to florida next week so it was his idea so we could catch up, talk about show choir, etc... if anyone thinks it weird that im having lunch with my old teacher, it might sound a little weird but if you knew mr patterson you would understand, and i think beccas coming with too, so there ya go. all i know is that right now it looks nice outside and im about to go lay out for a bit... see ya ` 1 ¬went skinny»dipping ;)

–› tangerines are delicious [wrote in the sand at 3:35pm on 6.24.04 ] mood » kinda tired music » the joker- steve miller band i changed my layout again, obviously. its kind of bright... but i like it. i dont really have too much to say... but.... 16 DAYS!!!! been spending a lot of time with ryne lately, hes a big douche. but i like douches.... kinda. haha WHAT IS UP WITH THIS WEATHER!? i started to clean my computer desk, and i have about 7 or 8 cans of diet coke just laying around... but im not addicted... i wanted to start a diet, so i just ate a tangerine... and the i ate an oatmeal cream pie. which probably isnt a good way to diet, but damnit im trying. and i think im having people over this weekend, havent asked my mom yet but im sure itll be cool. now i think im going on a walk with carson, yes, in the rain. im kind of in a random mood right now. drivers ed is getting really boring, thank god i only have 3 days left. i do really like the people in my class though.. the end ` 1 ¬went skinny»dipping ;)

–› [wrote in the sand at 12:59am on 6.22.04 ] shitty day today, but tonight made up for it... i spent some much needed quality time with my little sister, i dont remember the last time i did that.. ryne came over then, and we were about to go out but we stayed home for like 30 minutes-ish and played 'life' with my sister (shes 8, by the way).. after that we left and went to mcdonalds, played some 4-square, which was a good time, then at around 1030 went back to rynes and started watching 50 first dates.. aaand now im home. man, i dont know how im gonna handle him leaving in the fall... i dont even wanna think about it. seeing as i have to wake up at 9 tomorrow to drive (for drivers ed) i should probably go to sleep... yeah ill do that now ` 1 ¬went skinny»dipping ;)

–› [wrote in the sand at 6:36pm on 6.21.04 ] today me and jared got in a fight, he got really pissed.... and then apologized, which was good, and jared.. im sorry too. i hope we can still be friends (and i mean it).. :) right now im making myself some sort of white cheddar rotini pasta with broccoli... sounds gross but its actually really good... then im gonna make some chocolate chip cookies... dont know why all the cooking, but whatever, its a nice change of pace. i think im hanging out with ryne later, dunno what we're gonna do, i dont think he really does either. but thats alright, who actually plans things nowadays? yeah, me neither. ` 1 ¬went skinny»dipping ;)

–› aaaaaaah [wrote in the sand at 10:31pm on 6.20.04 ] you know, it always seems that when im with my dad (which is every other weekend), he tries to find every possible excuse to keep me in. like- youre eating dinner with grandma tonight; or- me and tommy will be out golfing late (aka 6:30) and you have to babysit your sister while we go out to eat afterwards... and even though this time he has a reasonable excuse (its his birthday) i still reaaaaaaaaaally dont want to be sitting here. i have come to the conclusion that i am the kind of person who always needs to be out doing something... maybe the people who know me best would call me lazy (which i can be, dont get me wrong.. but thats only when ive had very little sleep), but i just HATE sitting around not doing anything when i know of things that i could be doing. like tonight, andys birthday, cant go to his house (well, because its my dads birthday), but all my dad is doing is sitting watching tv with elizabeth (his girlfriend). not that i have a problem with that, i just dont see my need to be here. and when i get bored, i eat. story of my life... when i transferred schools and actually got friends (yes, i was a loser, but we're not going to even touch that, haha), i started getting like this.... if you backtrack a couple years, i was the person who could sit on the computer all day for 7 hours because i had no life whatsoever, but i was perfectly content doing so... so i didnt eat because i wasnt bored, therefore i was skinny. not that im fat now, but i could stand to lose a couple pounds. when i get my liscense, ive decided to go to the gym everyday (yeah, a lot of people do that, i know)... welllll.... we'll see how long that holds up for. but i have every intention of doing it now, which is all that matters. AND i need to find a job... you know what, no i dont, ill just apply at hy-vee. its like in my backyard, and a lot of people work there, their hours are flexible... i dont really want to work there, but hey, its money. wow, this is a really long entry already... and im not done yet. i am SO BORED... that could probably be why i have so much to say. i have drivers ed tomorrow... my last week... hallelujah! and i know im gonna pass, every day my teacher asks if he can buy me a pop.. a little weird, i know, but what can you do.. its not like i ever LET him buy me a pop. im just reassuring myself that im gonna get a good grade. you know something else ive realized? ive straightened my hair twice this whole summer... that is probably a record... and you know what? i LOVE it. scrunching my hair takes about 15 minutes of my time.. if even that. and it never gets frizzy! its amazing. im gonna have to straighten it one of these days though, i kind of miss being able to run my fingers through it. austin powers in goldmember is on... ive seen that movie three times, but i have yet to see the ending. and even though i want to, i really dont feel like watching a movie right now. wow, that was so random, sorry. uhh.. for some reason, i really dont want to end this entry. so im not going to... actually, i will. so now would be the time that you click that little [x] in the corner of the screen... ok..... aaaand.... go. skinny»dipping ;)

–› [wrote in the sand at 12:26pm on 6.20.04 ] goddamnit...... wow i am so pissed i dont even know what to do... $*&@!(*#& ` 1 ¬went skinny»dipping ;)

–› [wrote in the sand at 12:31pm on 6.19.04 ] mood » tired music » get over it- OKGO right now im about to get ready for kimberly nicole's papa's wedding... and i dont really have anything to write about. da da dum... saw mean girls for the third time with kim, michelle, and ellen on thursday... lol, but its alright because i dont think that movie will ever get old to me. i love this summer so far, hanging out with random people is great, i still need to call a few more randoms to hang out... jareds graduation party is today, i feel like i should go, but i cant because of the wedding... lindsays picking me up at 315, and i have a bunch of errands to run, and my mom wouldnt take me there... i feel extremely bad, but what can you do.. ill bring him his card sometime later. 21 MORE DAYS TILL I TURN 16!! holy crap... i cant wait. last night i went to conrads with ryne, that was an interesting time... microwaving cheetos to get them stale (even though they never did)... learning how to play bocce ball when im really in no condition to play... haha, saw a bunch of the north girls there so that was nice, and a lot of other random people there.. but yeah. and im spent skinny»dipping ;)

–› [wrote in the sand at 4:41pm on 6.17.04 ] mood » happy music » dont worry be happy- bob marley NOW i remember why i lost so much weight last summer! all i ever ate was ramen noodles. it wasnt on purpose (the losing weight bit), i was just addicted to them.... and then when school started, for some reason my mom stopped buying them... and there ya go. but we just went to sams, and we bought a whole crate of them... so im excited now, because theyre soooo good.... sorry, i just finished a bowl and i have nothing else to really talk about. just kidding about not having anything to talk about... well, sorta.. yesterday i went to southpark (???) mall with kim... it was dead, as usual, but we saw the SCARIEST looking guy there... we're talkin long black hair, beady eyes, skinny, like wearing a cowboy outfit (hat and all), and sitting in front of the carosel in the food court watching the little children ride it. this man will haunt my dreams. but anyways, after that i went home and didnt go back out until 9, jack came and picked me up and we went to porters house, it was me, jack, porter, steve, steckel, travis, kim, hallie, jenny, and amanda for a bit, me and jack played pool /fooseball and i beat him in fooseball... admit it jack, i was killin at that game.. haha. i got home at 11 (early, i know), watched a movie with my mom, talked to ryne, and went to sleep. hows that for your kickass wednesday night... hell yeah, planning on doing that a lot... jk. it was better than the two hour long stay at mcdonalds on monday night (which was actually fun)... and now i have to go clean the kitchen, this is gonna take a while... later. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Da1nONLYELSedro: oh ill worry about, ill worry about it so much that people will just be like man he really worried about it and ill be able to say fuck yeah i did and ull never say dont worry about it again cuz ull be like man he always worries about it anyways so i better not even bring it up, yeah, that right. Auto response from Krisitay: dont even worry about it ;-) skinny»dipping ;)

–› [wrote in the sand at 10:34am on 6.16.04 ] so, a long time ago, i remember getting hurt by this guy, and wondering to myself when it was all gonna end, and when i was gonna find the right guy... and now that i have... it was so worth the wait. im not usually a mushy person, so im surprising myself that im even writing this... but i had to get it out, haha. i just got back from my run, now i gotta take a shower, then do some tanning... then drivers ed, which is ALWAYS a good time (psssh)... i get out of that at 2, if you wanna do anything give me a ring! ` 1 ¬went skinny»dipping ;)

–› [wrote in the sand at 4:16pm on 6.14.04 ] so yeah... 26 more days and i will finally be able to drive... hallelujah... i remember when i would bug my parents about my 16th birthday, getting a car..... going to highschool... getting my ears pierced (yeah, i had to wait till i was 13).... and they would always be like "thats a long way away, we dont have to talk about that yet.."... and its all coming up so fast... which brings me to the question- what are you getting me? haha, jk... anyways... the graduation party for the north seniors (jared and all them) at the abbey hotel was the shit, it was a gooooood time... and there were actually a lot of central people there (a lot of the junior girls... not us, the ones who are going to be seniors... and like eileen and anna and kim)... so that was cool. lots of crazy stuff happened.. but im not even gonna get into that. last night i spent the night at kims, we got some movies and we were planning on watching them, but then dean called her and she ended up talking to him for like an hour and a half... and then we went to bed at like 2:30ish... at least i did, kim went at like 4.. this morning, ryne called and i got some breakfast with him... from mcdonalds, it was really healthy. then i had drivers ed for 2 hours, then drove around for a while... its my moms birthday today, so i dont know what we're doing tonight... aaanyways... im done skinny»dipping ;)

–› [wrote in the sand at 2:40pm on 6.12.04 ] LAST NIGHT WAS KICKASS. wow, i dont even want to get into it. for anyone i called at a ridiculous hour, im sorry :). im proud of kim though... and we'll just leave it at that. today was interesting, especially this morning... later i went to crow valley and tanned a little, and now im reaaaaaally tired, i think the sun does that to you though. tonight is the big GooStick (north senior boys) graduation party... i could not be more excited, its going to be another kickass time.... this is insane... i dont think ive ever liked someone so much so quickly... its actually kind of scary... but i like it :) skinny»dipping ;)

–› [wrote in the sand at 7:45pm on 6.10.04 ] tonight, went to texas roadhouse with my mom, brother, sister, and grandma... whenever i go there i always seem to eat until i can barely move, and i dont even finish my plate... wow their food is soo good. tonight, dont know what im about to do, its pouring rain outside though so i dont even know if i really want to go out anyways. i dont think ive actually stayed home once this whole break (along with almost every one of my friends)... nothing wrong with that though. the new taking back sunday CD comes out july 27th... they are one of my favorite bands and i cant WAIT until that comes out. therell only be a month left of summer when it comes out though, thats a little depressing. i dont even want to think about that. yeah so... my birthday is a month from today.......! ohhhhhhh yeah..... time for a shower skinny»dipping ;)

–› [wrote in the sand at 3:58pm on 6.9.04 ] so right now, im sitting here with a jar of peanut butter, because all we have to eat in my house are spaghettios and cheese crackers... and those done sound too good. i went on like a 3 mile run, ran about the whole way... along this road where theyre building a lot of new buildings... i thought i was gonna die, because the dirt was all blowing everywhere and it smelled like the zoo.. i could barely breathe... it was hell in a bottle. last night, drove around with kim for a while, met up with ryne and dean at rynes house, then went back to kims and watched the breakfast club. had drivers ed this morning again, that sucked, i was dead, but my teacher gave me a dollar for no reason... hes so nice. came home, went on my run, and now here i am. just called my dads friend who's a car dealer, he might be able to get me a RAV-4!!! if not, at least a jeep.... but god, the RAV would be aaaaaaaaamazing. but yeah.. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - "Saddest Girl Story" -the Starting Line So it's safe to say that we've been here before; Heart torn out, down for the count and still come back for more. This lesson is learned too well. Though, only unlearned by the time your wounds have healed. Have you had enough? I guess not because your lips are stuck to his. It's Time to say enough is enough, you would be so better off. You love him but tough because it's not coming back from him. You can't win. Stop expecting change, he's just a lost cause that you're waiting on. Take a look around, you could have anyone. So leave undeserving him. It only hurts at first. But then you will find someone to give you everything you want. Try not to go running back to him. So it goes unsaid that we've been here before. Lonely nights and endless fights and sleeping on the floor. And he's sorry, so the story goes. It's read and replayed and ends the same way Stop expecting change, he's just a lost cause that you're waiting on. Take a look around, you could have anyone. So leave undeserving him. Stop expecting change, he's just a lost cause that you're waiting on. Take a look around, you could have anyone. ` 1 ¬went skinny»dipping ;)

–› [wrote in the sand at 2:42pm on 6.8.04 ] today, had 5 hours of drivers ed. i thought i was supposed to drive this morning... but it turns out that i was supposed to drive tomorrow morning, so that sucked.... i woke up early for absolutely nothing. especially after last night... haha wow... that was a fun time. ben, we need a night where i dont have to go home so early so i can help you finish what we started (haha, that sounds SO wrong)... lol. beth herrin hung out with us a little last night too, shes really cool. uh... dont know what im doing right now, im about to go to the pool or something, i need to work on my tan :-/! tonight, no idea whats going on, but i have sweet drivers ed tomorrow at 9:45 again so i cant stay out too late... awesome. oh well... one month and two days until my birthday... but whos counting...? ` 1 ¬went skinny»dipping ;)

–› weekend [wrote in the sand at 10:15am on 6.7.04 ] i keep thinking we have to go back to school... i even woke up at 6:45 this morning without an alarm clock. but enough of school... i dont really want to even hear that word for the next couple months. saturday night was a good time... sunday night, ate dinner at my dads and then went to kims, babysat her dads fiancee's kids, then went to andys around 11... stayed for like 10 minutes because everyone had just left (but put andy up into a cheerleading prep though, that was cool), went to family video, got some movies, ordered some pizza, then fell asleep. and damnit, i didnt want to fall asleep either. we were watching the third lord of the rings, and i have been DIEING to see that ever since i saw the first two... and its no fun to watch movies in the middle of the day, either. :( im still at kims right now, and im trying to type as softly as i can so i dont wake her up, but its really hard and takes a while. today i think i (or we) might hit up a pool somewhere, who knows, crow valley, arsenal, splash landing... haha. buttt if we go to crow (that was a rhyme.... wow im cool) then we'll be able to drive my dads golf cart around (yes, he actually owns a golf cart, hes obsessed), which is always a good time. but yeah.. i think im getting a little bored with typing, peace skinny»dipping ;)

–› [wrote in the sand at 5:13pm on 6.5.04 ] aaaaah.... i am so goddamned confused.... i hate boys, they can all die... just kidding, but this is really hard... i think that breakup with brandon just screwed me over because it was so bad, hes so gay though so its not like i care, i just dont like getting hurt like that when IM the one who broke up with him.... it like scarred me, and now im scared to have any relationship with anyone.... dont get me wrong, i like jared a lot, but i dont know how much he likes me back.... i know he does, but he just doesnt really show it... and i really hate that, i mean its not like i want him to be all over me and clingy, id just want him to show he actually cares a little more... and i mean if hes not like that then i dont want to change him, hes a great guy. itd just be nice to get a phone call from him when we dont have anything planned just to see what was up. last night, me and kim went down to lindsay park, saw a ton of the old seniors, some that just graduated, and a few of the north senior girls who just graduated... it was cool, then we went to steak & shake and got some shakes... ryne and dean met us there, then we went back to rynes house for like 20 minutes... today me and kim went to crow valley, then splash landing, then outing club, then the mall... so hopefully we got a LITTLE tanner, i dont think there were very many more places we couldve gone.. it was SO nice out today too. i got my ears re-double pierced... thinking about getting my cartilage done, i dont know though yet... its cute though. tonight i have to go to my dads (gaaaay), and theres a bunch of people going to the drive in at like 6:30... which sucks, because ill have to eat dinner with my dad, and then he wont let me go there... which sucks... kims not going either because she has to work, so i might just end up doing something with her. but now i have to leave for my dads.. later skinny»dipping ;)

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