:) [16 Aug 2007|07:45pm] tuesday was one of those nights. you know, just one of those nights. wednesday i got a suprise. i got 20 roses. delivered to work :) and i went almost as red as the roses -_- hahaha. and today is thursday. and i'm watching the finale of top chef. post comment

[12 Jul 2007|08:27pm] I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personal, myself and I We've got some straightenin' out to do And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket But I've got to get a move on with my life It's time to be a big girl now And big girls don't cry Don't cry Don't cry Don't cry post comment

oh my goodness....a thing to realise only when you are going to turn 23! [09 Jun 2007|10:33pm] either i'm really retarded looking but i don't know that or i seriously seriously don't know how to take photos. post comment

it's been long [12 May 2007|05:09pm] it's been so long since i've thought of blogging that i even forgot my username. lol. i got my password right, just the username. well, guess i dont use klutzie all that often anymore. maybe i'm just more comfortable with my real name nowadays. or maybe, i've just grown up and realise that it's more credible to have an account in your own name. haha. but let me tell a story. of how i got klutzie in the first place. well, it was a few years back...when i was std 6. okkkkk....a long while back. like hmm, 11 years ago. that was when i first had mirc (anyone remember that?) hahaha. and anyways, my initial username was something default. like 'guest' or something. so silly eh. anyways, i was chatting to this guy, who seemed like such an expert (in hindsight, i realise that he was probably just a normal user. i was simply a noob). and then when i got up to get a cup of water, i tripped over my internet cable and accidentally disconnected myself. so after some fiddling around, i got back online. and that guy was still online, and after detailing my incident, he said that i was such a klutz. so there you go. how unoriginal of me. hahaha.... so what about the -ie ending? o..that came in f2, when i sitting bored with some mates in class. and we were discusisng our mirc nicks. hahaha. that was back when #auwayip was soo in. and i went 'hmm..feel like changing my nick..but klutz sounds cool and silly at same time. wanna keep it la...' and my friend said "you could put -ie at the end. then you can be 'the endie'' (hahaha..my goodness...the attraction i have to lame jokes started way back then huh). ahahha. well, i took part of his advice and got klutzie. how interesting. story finito :) post comment

"God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect" [07 Feb 2007|07:11am] that's Hebrews 11:40, for some reason, there's a limit on the 'subject'field =| and i start work today! i could probably have started work earlier, for a different company. let me record the story. last year, in one of them middle months (july or august or somewhere round there), i was sleeping, as one does. and i dreamt. which is nothing unusual. but this dream had the special quality of being unforgettable, like, with vivid details and scenes and a smooth transitioning and an everlasting effect. you know what i mean? (said in rocky style) what was the dream about? well, i was in a building, dressed up in corporate clothes. and i was talking to 2 girls and a guy. 1 girl, S was friends with the buy. and the other girl L was a person we had just met. we were all pretty much strangers to each other, there by some coincidence. so anyways, we were talking about something insignificant. And S goes, I'm going to look at some duty free stuff. I go, why? you can't even buy any of them for duty-free prices. Anyways, she walks off with the guy and I'm left talking to L. I don't remember what I was talking to her about. What I do remember, most vividly, was that at all over my mind, was a resoundin 'JUST SAY YES'. you know, like how you get a song stuck in your head? well, this was like a Linkin Park song in my head....just no tune. just JUST SAY YES. JUST SAY YES. i woke up and wondered about it for a while. then fell asleep. fastforward a month or so, and i find myself at wellington airport, at the end of my one-day interview with westpac. and i was talking to S and L and the guy! omgoodness...... at this point in time, i already had a contract for beca in hand, waiting for my signature. but i had told them to wait for a few weeks, as i was considering another option (westpac). so what exactly did the JUST SAY YES mean? I've gotta go to work soon, so I'll hurry here. over the next couple of days, i received a verbal offer from westpac, after i rang them a few times. even though i had found out the job was in wellington. but i couldn't shake off the feeling that westpac was what i was to say yes to, not beca. So, with a verbal offer, and no idea of my renumeration package, i said yes...to westpac. and rang up beca to decline their offer. so here i was, heading for wellington and a long distance relationship. but thanks be to God, who i believe was the director of the described dream above, i met the CIO of westpac, who when he found out i lived in auckland, told me i could stay in auckland. so, is God's plan perfect or what? sometimes, i wonder. maybe i had 2 options back then. beca or westpac. auckland or wellington. God or being with His gift. whatever it is, whether me working at westpac is a result of His Will or my stubborness, that's where i am. but, with the peace within me, i trust (now anyways) that westpac is a gift from God, and it's choice a challenge to my faith. 2 comments|post comment

a recounting of events. for my sake. [24 Jan 2007|10:49pm] you know, things are easier to search for when they are in a digital format. sooo much easier. you press ctrl-f and type what you are looking for. hahaha. a few miliseconds later, you get your answer :) and if you have to go through anything, it's a rather short list. 9pm: we ordered pizza at mamma mia to take away. walked to a nearby bench to wait. it was here that my wallet fell out, but i was not aware. 9:10ish: got the pizza, crossed the road and ate facing rangitoto island. got up and i realised that i didnt have it. asked caleb if it was in his pockets...nope. o dear o dear o dear =| me thinks: God....hello? err.....errr.....*some incoherent string of words meant to be prayer* so we walk back to the pizza shop, to see if i had left it there...nope. as we were walking to the bench, a lady stops me and the following conversation takes place: lady: hey...are you jane (no, it's not a typo. she said 'jane')? are you looking for your wallet? i think i found your wallet.. me: huh? yea yea....i'm looking for my wallet. lady: yea yea....we found it on that bench over there (points in direction). we were gonna go to pakuranga to your house (my drivers licence displays that) me: o...wow. *stunned* *mouth gaping* *stunned* *stunned* *stunned* me thinks: my goodness.....God? my goodness.....huh?! wooowwww..... lady: *fishes my wallet out of her pocket* here....check to see if everything's still there me: *stares blankly* *stunned* me thinks: what the.......*stunned* lady: yea yea..i recognize your face. we were going to pakuranga to drop it off!! me: o wow.....thank you. really, thank you sooo much. *still stunned* lady: no problem...see ya me thinks: can i get you a drink? me notes that she has 3 large drinks between 2 people...hmm, maybe not such a smart idea. me: thank you. thank you again... *stunned* -----------end------------------------ it went something like that. i don't quite remember. i remember thinking after that, how could she have recognized me? i mean, she couldn't even read my 'june'!! which is the same on 3 different cards. when my photos for the drivers licence and uni id were different.... personally, i am of the belief that when God does miracles, it's not like what we expect. we might think he did an amazing thing with the plagues in egypt. but the truth is, those things do occur naturally (yes, the nile river turns red, kills fishes, hence drawing frogs and flies, which in turn causes sores/skin diseases), albeit at a smaller scale. but it was God's timing and the magnitude of things which make it a miracle. manna is not a 'miracle'. it occurs naturally (ok, technically an act of God too...). likewise for low flying quail, often carried by the winds and nest on land. whatever it is, i believe that God's miracles are weaved into the moment we live in. if you choose not to believe it's Him, then you may do so. but if you do, then you do and know that the Lord God loves you. 1 comment|post comment

[19 Jan 2007|07:44pm] busy people are lonely people. ever heard of that? i've been busy... post comment

[31 Oct 2006|10:17pm] a temple road trip to a church in hamilton? now...THAT's interesting..... post comment

let's see how much I've changed... [31 Oct 2006|09:19pm] Global Personality Test Results Stability (76%) high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.. Orderliness (40%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment. Extraversion (46%) medium which suggests you average somewhere in between being assertive and social and being withdrawn and solitary. Take Free Global Personality Test personality tests by similarminds.com trait snapshot:messy, tough, disorganized, fearless, not rule conscious, likes the unknown, rarely worries, rash, attracted to the counter culture, rarely irritated, positive, resilient, abstract, not a perfectionist, risk taker, strange, weird, self reliant, leisurely, dangerous, anti-authority, trusting, optimistic, positive, thrill seeker, likes bizarre things, sarcastic ------------------ heeh. don't know how true that is. post comment

i have no friends :( [23 Oct 2006|09:43pm] because i'm a meanie. post comment

is a blog not a personal thing? [18 Oct 2006|10:52pm] i suppose it is. and you're meant to expose yourself to the www, in hope that your readers will better able understand you, that perhaps you belong somewhere, even if only blurty.com. lol. many of us choose rather to use double meanings. to vaguely gloss over the details. leave the reader to guess at it. if you know enough to decode the blog, then you do. if you don't well, you don't and who are to go pry into my life anyway? isn't that right? hahaha... yea well, i don't quite belong to the 'many' as described above. if only you knew the contents of my heart. if only. yea well, if only i knew too. yea, so much for personal blogs huh. well, i declare this blog defunct. until further notice. 1 comment|post comment

[09 Oct 2006|07:14pm] hmm. my four years at engineering school, UoA is coming to a close. guess i should end with a blog post? heh. i think all the fun stuff ends about here. yep. all that fun with statistics, R code, MATLAB code, dantzig-wolfe decompositions LP, IP, consecutive ones matrices bla bla bla. all comes to a significant close....or well, will come to a close. so i thought i'd come up with a list of most significant things..in and out of uni... ...this semester: - epics has been a whole lot of fun. like my epics team eh... - going to kiddy church on sundays. hahahaa. it's more relevant than the big church k..and it's way more fun..unfortunately (or fortunately) we don't sing and dance with hand gestures...i'm not ready for that yet k. - and definitely getting a ride from a police car. haha. that was pretty interesting. cops speed too you know... ...this year: - getting together with *ahem* *ahem* hahahaha :) - falling out with a good friend :( - getting baptised was definitely a highlight too :) - well, i suppose early this year was pretty rough riding too(although it seems eons ago now). last few weeks in germany, and coming back to auckland was interesting to say the least.. - cf falling apart isn't cool. at all. 'nuff said =| ...2005: - skipping classes in first semester. lol. stressing out bout going to germany. hahaha. - being new christian. being challenged i guess. being disillusioned. being many things with God actually. - skipping class coz there really were better things to do :) like....hm. muck around. lol. and have good conversations. - going to germany :) :) ...2004: - skipping classes because there were better things to do. hahaha. - entering the most important relationship you could ever have. being gung-ho (well, by my standards i was gung-ho ok..) - the *ahem* *ahem* mess and it exploding was rather amusing in hindsight. but was so not funny when it happened. - getting to know the good friend i fell apart with two years later - ski trip with cf :) - beach trip with cf was really really great :) ...2003: - getting together with kevin. breaking up with kevin wasn't pretty. and i do regret most of what i said or did. i'm sorry kevin. this is a public apology. yes, you may print screen it and keep it. - starting uni i guess. not seeing pak college friends that much. hmm... - found cf. - oo ooo ooo!! michelle asking me 'does your mum allow you to have a boyfriend?' in pd1 in medchem. i dunno why i remember this. but i do. it's just amusing :) - op shopping with yoho at random times. hahaha. and watching him hide jackets he couldnt yet afford. lol. hmm. such good memories. yea ok, i won't see or keep in touch with the majority of people that i shared those good memories with. which is, i suppose, the way life goes. but...there's always the future to look forward to... post comment

[11 Sep 2006|08:37pm] Exo 20:7 "You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name." when i was 13 (or maybe it was 14), i was minding my own business when a classmate who was walking past told me off for using God's name. apparently in vain. yea ok...like sure there's even a god.... i was unimpressed with the nerd that told me off, to say the least. hahahaha. how ironic is it that now, the words i use are not expressively using His name in vain, but the fear of doing so is definitely present. post comment

slain in the Spirit. [09 Sep 2006|07:10pm] an account of being slain in (well technically it should be 'by') the Spirit: Acts 5 Ananias and Sapphira 1Now a man named Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira, also sold a piece of property. 2With his wife's full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles' feet. 3Then Peter said, "Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? 4Didn't it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn't the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied to men but to God." 5When Ananias heard this, he fell down and died. And great fear seized all who heard what had happened. 6Then the young men came forward, wrapped up his body, and carried him out and buried him. 7About three hours later his wife came in, not knowing what had happened. 8Peter asked her, "Tell me, is this the price you and Ananias got for the land?" "Yes," she said, "that is the price." 9Peter said to her, "How could you agree to test the Spirit of the Lord? Look! The feet of the men who buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out also." 10At that moment she fell down at his feet and died. Then the young men came in and, finding her dead, carried her out and buried her beside her husband. 11Great fear seized the whole church and all who heard about these events. ------------------ i am a sceptic. yes, i have fallen before. however, i do wonder whether it was just a physchological reaction of wanting to be slain or not. well...hmm. i have no wish of being slain by the Spirit now though =| "Neutral observers point out that this type of phenomenon is not at all new. Nor is the resistance to the movement by the average churchgoer who may be unfamiliar with religious experience per se. The ability of charismatic leaders to condition mass numbers of people through suggestion is a well-documented psychological phenomenon." ------------------- and from http://www.thebereancall.org/Newsletter/html/1995/may95.php l've just posted a little teaser here... "Jesus characterized the days just prior to His return as a time of great religious deception (Mt 24:4,11,23-24). He said that many would claim to be uttering prophecies, casting out demons, and performing miracles in His name, yet they would be evildoers (Mt 7:22,23). He declared that seeking after signs was a trait of "a wicked and adulterous generation" (Mt 16:4). Paul also warned that the last days would be a time of preparation for the takeover by the Antichrist and would involve satanic "power, signs and lying wonders" (2 Thes 2:9). Inevitably, the consequence of this religious deception will be the development of a false, experience-driven church which has surrendered doctrine to feeling. " a few paragraphs down... "That trend may be clearly seen among those who express confidence that the "laughing revival" is of God. When pressed for an explanation and for scriptural support, the responses sound more wishful than sure. Rodney Howard-Browne, a major figure in this movement, reflects its experiential nature: "You can't understand what God is doing in these meetings with an analytical mind. The only way you're going to understand what God is doing is with your heart." 4 His sentiments are echoed by Episcopal rector Hugh Williams, who was changed by the experience and endorses it with this unwitting indictment: "Words [including God's Word?] have become meaningless in our society. Signs and wonders are what must capture our attention." ------------------------------------- how bout this site? http://www.deceptioninthechurch.com/ ------------------------------------ hmm....13 cents on NetLogin. a sign that i should start reading notes and doing my asst? hehe....hmm ------------------------------------ why is manifestation of the Spirit disruptive? is not our God a God of order? of precise timing and planning? is not chaos spoken against in the Bible? ------------------------------------ Peter Popoff. a total nuthead. popped off his own skull. yet, i think there is a possibility and huge likelihood that given certain circumstances, i could fall for everything he says... ------------------------------------- has the devil's lies about 'if you want it, you get to have it now' idea (think vodafone's "make the most of now" etc etc) reached the church? now now now now now. personally speaking, i have experienced God move faster than a bullet, and slower than a tortoise. yet even those times that God moved faster than superman, there was definitely some trudging around.... ------------------------------------- a balance...a balance. between being a Sadducee and a feel good church addict. ------------------------------------- and finally, i end with the well-known Acts 17:22: "Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true." post comment

Millennium People by J G Ballard, p139 [05 Sep 2006|06:27pm] 'And we don't like ourselves for it. I don't, and you don't either, David.' Gould watched me as I tried to turn a tap on the cluttered sink. 'People don't like themselves today. We're a rentier class left over from the last century. We tolerate everything, but we know that liberal values are designed to make us passive. We think we believe in God buy we're terrified by the mysteries of life and death. We're deeply self-centred but can't cope with the idea of our finite selves. We believe in progress and the power of reason, but are haunted by the darker sides of human nature. We're obsessed with sex, but fear the sexual imagination and have to be protected by huge taboos. We believe in equality but hate the underclass. We fear our bodies and, above all, we fear death. We're an accident of nature, but we think we're at the centre of the universe. We're a few steps from oblivion, but we hope we're somehow immortal...' post comment

speaking out [19 Aug 2006|11:54am] i'm not one to talk about feelings. but i feel that there's something about this one person that resonates in me, creating this written outflow of emotions. this person has done alot for me, in my life. been there at times when i thought she had forgotten about me and that i was well out of her thoughts....those have been nice surprises eh.. just wanna say, those things that have been done weren't in vain....the outworking of it might not be seen in the expected way. who knows what the expected way is anyways....all i know is that it wasn't in vain. maybe those actions deserve better, deserve more priority among other influencing factors in my life. they may deserve better, but i know that they play just the right role they should. anyway, this isn't just one person. hahahahha. that's the twist of this silly blog post. but yea, let's just say there were two such people. along this line, i've also unlocked a past post... 1 comment|post comment

hmm... [06 Aug 2006|09:45pm] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlVXWiJ5G2Y post comment

wAHaHaAHa [26 Jul 2006|07:09pm] today i had coffee! woooohoo! just had it actually. waHAAHaHAaAaAha....mmmm~~ coffee does not give you pimples. my pimple is reducing in size already! much like alice! (-which side, please? -that side -you mean this side? -that side! don't you understand the meaning of 'that side' child? *puff puff* -pray tell me Mr Caterpillar, sir, do you mean this side? -what an ignorant child! i meant that side... ) post comment

the perfect dystopian sustainable community! [25 Jul 2006|08:50pm] 1. everyone should move to the equatorial band. preferably living between the Tropics of Capricorn and Cancer. this will eliminate all need of heating. living closer to the Tropics would be preferable as this would also eliminate the need of airconditioning. 2. expensive brands should be removed. fancy pansy designers can be in the business of sewing patches on worn clothes. cool postmodernist approach i think. reuse of old clothes should be promoted as in and hip. 3. only professionals should live in places requiring mechanical regulation of weather conditions. these people should only be there for the purpose of extracting natural resources. in line with the 'kill two birds with one stone' mentality of optimization, they should also be tourists/explorers, wishing to explore the wild wild west, or the virgin forests of other areas. tourists should then be required to undergo medical checkups to ensure their suitabililty for working in such 'harsh' conditions. 4. places with unidentifiable useful natural resources should be avoided at all costs. to prevent extinction and damage to the ecosystems. if this were done, maybe the moas would have evolved to eat the kiwis..and the kiwis would be extinct, rather than moas. 5. chefs should also stop cooking preposterous meals that involve other living beings that took tens of years to grow to an edible size, only to be consumed by a fancy pansy designer in a fraction of that time, perhaps a number even smaller than a machine zero. they may now focus their passion in creating creative and unique food masterpieces made from thin air! this pursuit shall be like an alchemist's dream. 6. rubbish should be used in homes as art decoratives and coffeetable pieces. not only will this provide a great conversation starter, but will create a sense of mutual understanding between guests and hosts. especially if they were both fashion victims that were subject to the german-car-supremacy idea (see 7) 7. germans may only produce cars that don't require to be driven at 200kph for their quality to shine. porsche, audi and bmw should look into building wooden bicycles or bicycles from trash metal. post comment

see, i have a dilemma. [20 Jul 2006|08:31pm] i used to have a leatherman. it was blue. and it was new when i got it. i attached it to my keyring. brought it everywhere i went. cut paper with it. cut notepaper for studying for a german exam. ate tuna with it on the train from berlin to prague. peeled oranges with it. lived with it. and it lived with me. it was scratched, but i didn't mind. it lived with me, that was all i could ask for. i was happy with that. hey, that's part of the deal wasn't it? then it broke. one side of the pliers snapped. i detached it from my keyring. my keyring felt lighter. the weight of the leatherman was no longer there. and like an unweighted buoy, it felt strange. then i sent the leatherman to napier. got it replaced under the 25yr warranty. it came back. in 2 days. wow. prompt as. but i'm used to not having the leatherman every where i go now. i miss it. sometimes sorely. sometimes hardly. sometimes, i'm even glad it's not around. less weight. that means alot to an optimizer. but humans aren't the most efficient of beings. the leatherman looks so good. it's new. it's been in my possession for close to a month and no scratches. wow. sometimes i bring it along with me. but ONLY when i know that it's not going to get scratched. so, it is never ever on my keyring. i take care of it. i rinse the blade after use, dry it carefully and place it in a safe place. some would say i cared for it alot more than the first. i would say i loved it less than the first. the dilemma is, i don't know what's best for my leatherman. if it'd rather be used and scratched, and even expended =| (note it was broken because i whimsied bending some plastic. a totally pointless cause) or would it prefer to sit somewhere safe. who knows. i think i shall err for the best of the leatherman. so now it's sitting somewhere safe. where, i don't know. guess i don't really care anymore, because it's not a necessity in my life. since i'm blogging...and looking at some pics at the same time, thought i'd share some :) ooo.....aih. i wonder where my old curious george book is. such a cute monkey. post comment

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]