katnaps' Blurty

Subject:	vinnie the perve, car chase, escape, more chase, more escape
Time:	4:40 pm.
Mood:	determined.

i had a dream within a dream within a dream i think.
first one was that vinnie was being an utter arsehole and was full on checkin out girls. and i got supremely jealous and chucked a hissy fit after hechecked out like 10 girls, with me there and he was just full on staring at them and making sleazy comments and looking slimy.
And he didnt care that i was jealous or upset, he continued to ogle at everyone other girl until i ended up not being able to handle it anymore and i said thats it its overand i was crying a lot and he still didnt care, he kept laughing at me like i was an idiot and kept on looking at every single girl who walked past. dickhead.

second dream.
it was dusk and i was walking to meet my cousins as we were going to go to the zoo the next day (so we had to meet up the night before?!) and i was waiting for them to come pick me up and it was getting dark and these bunch of guys were hanging around up to no good i bet, they looked like gangster types and i was thinking uh oh this is trouble. so i ignored them but they hung around sitting/crouching on some steps.
then i hear my cousins yell "catherine! over here!! come on man!!" and saw them far away. so i was like damn it, why didnt they wait for me? because as soon as they yelled and wved to me, they went off up the street to the car, and so i had to walk past those gangster bad boys by myself. so iwalk in that direction, determined not to look at them and they stared at me as i walked past and made yucky comments and as i went up the escalator, for some reason my blood boiled and i couldnt take their stupid sleazy comments and i turned around, stared at the 'leader' and said "fuck you". then instantly regretted it because uh oh.. justcoz im on an escalator, doesnt mean im immune to them, theycould come after me.
and sure enough, shit.. they were like what the??! and they all got up and started walking towards the escalator.
i ran up the rest of the steps and ran to where my dad was waiting to pick me up (what happened to my cousins?!) and i got into the car and said lets go!!
and he drove slowly, and i was like quick! and thinking oh shit theyre after me.
and sure enough they were in their gangster car and they were hellbent on getting me and killing me of course.
so dad was driving like a snail for some reason and im freaking out big time, and he drives into these streets and im like what are you doing? drive THAT way!! thats a shortcut and we need to get ahead!!
and he was like nah lets go this way. so he goes his way and im shitting myself and i can see the others coming.
then he drives up this run down building place and so its like shit, if we hit a deadend, they will have us cornered. and im like quick drive the car in there and hide!
and he is doing it slowly and im like oh no!!because i could see their car cruising towards us, although we were on the highest level in the carparky building domain thing, they were heading towards the buildign and they will see our car and see me and come up and kill me.
and dad was going nowhere he parked his car just on the 'balcony' of the building as if for the whole world to see us, and for some reason he was so not fazed by the whole situation, so i wasl ike DAD!! look! these guys who are after me are going to KILL me! and as the car cruised around the corner and you could see the guys all looking around for me, i jumped into the back seat so that all the leader could see was my dad (who he didnt recognise) and noone in the passenger seat.
only after they drove past and i poked my head out, all the other gangsters were looking elsewhere but the leader was smart, he looked back straight at our car and somehow i knew that he KNEW i was there.
i was like SHIT!
so i took over the car and drove - zoomed! down the balcony ramp thing, and flew-ish and started driving round and away from the gangster car and i drove round and round into little twisted streets so they would havea hard time finding me and then drove into this really cool old house's garden with lots of tree's and gnomes and stuff.
i drove around and then screeched to a halt when i saw their 'decoration' thing that was in their garden.
(this was some rich persons house)
the decoration was of course, a mini from The Italian Job, it was dark emerald green, and it was screwed onto the ground.
i jumped out of dads car (dad wasnt there anymore), ran to the mini, unscrewed it by lifting it BOOM like a musclewoman and breaking the screws that attached it.
then i forced the door open with some nifty trick of mine (damn im so cool in my dreams haha) jumped into the mini, started it ,and drove like a demon out of their - passing another mini that was a decoration, but this one was really pale pink - like a fish colour.
i drove crazily everywhere, liek a cool chase scene type, and i saw the gangster car follwing me, and i was driving and they were chasing and it was crazy!! sooo coool.
i was driving round cars and narrowly missing those fire hydrant thingies and pedestrians and oter cars and swerving and going up ramps and flying off ramps and going everywhere and it was soooooo fast zooom!

next dream
i was at my aunts house. eating. and holding my little cousin or whatever he was. he was a littly baby boy who could talk. so not such a baby. and my aunt said people are coming over soon. i said ok, who are they?
she said i dont know them btu theyre nice.
ok i said.
then they arrive.
and they are a bunch of asian guys whom ive never seen but one look very familiar.
and another looks like a famous hong kong actor, and it turns out that is him and we are related like distant cousins or something. we all chat. well they all come sit near me and start talking like asking me stuff liek really friendly people, even though they dont know me. and this othe guy asked if he could hold the baby cousin. is aid sure and handed him to him.
but the baby had turned into something like a ferret.
but not.
more like a doll with his body all longened as well as stuck togehter?
so when i handed him to the guy, the baby was all floppy, and i had to kind of peel his hands off from his side because he was slightly slimy and stuck together. it was strange.
we chatted for a bit then suddenly i knew WHY that guy looked so familiar.
i pointed at him and said "you were in my dream. you were the person in mydream.no wonder you looekd familiar!"
and he looked at me with this strange look and said "oh really?" and i said yes.
and i wasl ike shit....
he is the EXACT person in my dream.. and ive never met him before.. its a sign!!
he was the gangster leader!!!

and i was like shit...
then i had to go, i ran off thinking oh no.. was it a dream after all then??
and i ran home and it was too late because they were follwing (the gangster leader and his gangster bunch) and i was thinking what shame too because they were SUCH nice guys turn killers.
i got home and turns out i am living like.. a peasant woman, back in the day, in big gathered skirts and strange things hanging around the house like huge dried sausages and garlic cloves etc.
and the house roof was made of straw etc.
i was living with my family who consisted of 3 other women and a little girl.
they were like something happeend!!
and im liek we have to get out of here! its about to blow!!
so we gathered some stuff and ran out of the hosue just in time because the gangster had gotten there and had thrown i na bomb thing, and it was one of those sizzly ones which let out pioison gas before it explodes.
so we ran out in the nick of time and watchd the houe go up in flames.
then we ran, i was urging the others to keep up.
and we got to our OTHER house only it was STILL too late.
i was like, ok they are follwing and its only a matter of tiem before they get here and kill this houe too, we haveto get out of here, grab waht we need - we are going far away.
so we gathered important stuff liek food supplies and clothes and ran into the backyard and took the warmest clothes off the clothes line then it turns out this isnt our other hosue, this is some persons house, btu whoops too bad, we were taking thei clothes and stuff, and as we walked further away from the backyard we watched the houe go up in flames afeter it exploded.
and the we ran and got to THE fence.
THE fence is a fence that divides this wrold form another wold.
yo ucan travel to other worlds if yo uwalk past this fence.
this fence was never ending and you cant go aroudn it you ahve to go over it.
ahead was just plain wheat. like a farm place. just yellow golden sandy wheat is all yo uan see.
we stand at the fence trying to figure out which way to go.
on the other side of the fence are lits of mattresses standing on their sides and they are tied side by side to the fence.
these are like road maps for THE fence.
im trying to read the road maps, an then i see two fingers stuck in a hole in the mattress.
im liek shit, what is that and im getting ready to fight or wahtever, and i tell the others to move back.,
then i see two other fingers in another whole in the worn mattress.
ti yell outm, whos ther?!?!
and they start to move, and above the matrress come sthis guy, dressed like robin hood, and he points a bow at me and draws out an arrow, at least thats what i think it is, but its actually a box with an action man in it.
he startes to yell out merchadise for sale!
and tries to convince me to buy his wares, but i wont.
and yoy can tell he is a trickster but a good one, and ery charmign and smoothand quick, so im wary.
and the others (my woman family) look on, as i refuse to buy his stuff and he goes "ah well, cant say i didnt try, will you at least shake my hand?" and i said "no i wont, because then you'll jsut pick my pocket" and he said withouht missing a beat "thats true, thats very true> ah well so whre are you heading?"
so i told him we dont know yet and we kind of formed an unspoken truce and vecame unspoken friends, and i asked where he was going and he said i dont kow, maybe west, 3 mattresses from THIS mattress.
and i was thinking hm maybe we should go with this guy because he lives on the other side of the fence, so he knwos what its like past the fence.
because see..
you follow the mattress road maps to journey across the big plains that is filled with wheat and forests, and thats like the land between lands.. t=aspt the fence is the palce where you must ravel to get to another world. so its like filled with nothing, and fraught with danger etc.
all i knew was we had rto get over there fast so that we can start making those tracks away from the gangster guy who was after me.

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Subject:	sefton people again, stadium, photo's, supermarkets, pork's haircut
Time:	6:21 pm.
Mood:	surprised.

whats with dreaming about sefton people?!

it was like a reunion thing, judging from all the people that were there, it was all the sefton people in our grade, though it wasnt a reunion thing... but there was EVERYONE. anyway, we were in this biiiiig stadium thing, and i was talking to nim and ant and some others whom i cant remember, and i was showing them photos from a party we all attended not long ago. we were gathered around laughing at the pics, and they were animated photos. and so there is one of us, then another of us, then there was one where im conked out on the floor and the others are surrounding me trying to lift me up. and i say to nim and ant and stuff "i dont remember that photo." and they were like, "yeah thats coz you blacked out! you were smiling for the next photo and then suddenly your just blacked out and fell on the floor and we had to try to pick you up."
so that was strange, because they were animated photos so you see me smiling, then eyeballs rolling, expression going blank and then kaplonk, im on the floor, out cold.

then im in the supermarket, because there is a huge supermarket in this stadium and im walking through the aisles and looking at food. yuuuuuuuuuum. i spend quite a while there - (my brain indulging me in my looking-at-food fetish).
then im back in the stadium surrounded by seftoners.
im wearing what i was wearing to the party we went to in the photos. its an asian style dress... asian as in the print on the fabric, which is also asian because its a slinky shiny silky satin fabric. its a deep dusty pink with asian bamboo flower stuff on it probably. its below the knee, halter neck top - only not a v-neck, its like.. i dont, just not v-neck, and its got two splits, one on each side.
anyway my dog is there, and people are oohing and aahing at him, then i see porlleak who is all the way near the top of the stadium, sitting on the stadium seats, which are just like steps.
anywa, she has this strange new haircut, and all i can see from where i am is some blue tops, blonde middle bits and black hair and its rather strange.
anyway so i decide to go chat to her, and make my way towards the stadium seats, and its muddy, the grass, and im going ew ew because im in open-toe high heeled shoes.
i totterbetween the people sitting on the steps, and go up up up to where porky is sitting and i sit down and we chat. and i ask her about her new haircut.
ok, its like this: her left side of her head, the hair is cut to chin length, more specifically, up to a pimple on her chin length, as she pointed out. and the other half of her haai is cut to to underarm length.
then the whole head of hair is dyed black, BUT the bottom ends, about 3cm is dyed electric blue, and then about ten centremetres of hair just above the lectric blue, is dyed platinum blonde.
so yessss.. it was rather strange.
i was like "oh, new haircut?" and she said yeah it is, but she didn't really like it (she NEVER is happy with any of her haircuts). and nhu is sitting on the other side of her, and nhu was like its not that bad, its alright, but you can always go back and get them to cut it different. and i said yeah you can cut the long side of your hair into the same length as the other side and let it grow out.
and porlleak said "well i was thinking about dying it all reddish brown, because i dont really like this blue blonde thing."
anyway, it was really interesting, then i went down the stadium steps again, and wanted to go to the big brown wooden door because someone was there and i wanted to open the door so they can join the big sefton thing. but then i realise the floor is still muddy and im totally grossed out, then martin bounds out of nowhere and we say hi and stuff and i asked if he'd seen the photos from the party? and he said no he hasnt, and i complained about the floor and he swoops down and picks me up, as in flings me over his shoulder, and im like aaaargh!!!! and hoping im not flashing and he carries me over the muddy bits and im like aaargh!! and people are laughing (i think martin was drunk) and then i woke up.

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Subject:	races, porky, helicopters, axes, themepark, rollercoaster, blood
Time:	8:14 pm.
Mood:	distressed.

i walked out of the alleyway, into the rain soaked silent street. There are cars around me, parked against the kerb, rubbish bins around. The rain glistens on the road against the full moon.
I clear a clip clop clip clop, as porlleak rounds the corner and hurries toward me. i squint in the dark at her, yeah its her. alright.
she walks up to me, and we pull our coats closer as a breeze blows the cold around us.
"how was the races?" i ask her. she said they were good. i dont know much about races, so i go, ok.
and she explains that in her area (fairfield), her motorraces are different, because they involve flying machines.
I said, oh ok, like that? and pointed up at the sky where this big paper helicopter was flying, and zooming in and out of the sky, it was black and HUGE and it would dive at us periodically so we had to keep close to the building walls.
She said, oh no, not like that. thats in that other area. ok then.
We hurry onwards as we were meeting up to get to someplace but that never happened because we came to a clearing, inbetween two streets and two buildings and before us was this huge guy, with a menacing look on his face.
it was obvious he wanted to murder us or something, but i was not goign to give him that satisfaction so i was prepared to fight him.
only he had an axe, which for some reason, even after he had thrown it at us, he always had another in his hand to keep throwing at us.
and we had to keep dodging.
actually, porlleak was hiding behind a wall of a building whilst i was trying to think of what to kill this guy with. maybe not kill, but something that will slow him down so we could escape.
so he throws th4ese axes that spin towards me really really fast, and the distance between us isnt that great so i have to be really quick. and im really frightened because each time i dodge, the axe misses hitting me, but only by a little bit, and i can feel the air that the axe makes and hear the whistle as it soars past me.
he is smart in this way because i have to focus all my brainpower on dodging the axes and so i cant think of any plan to try to get at him.
somehow i get an axe in my hand, perhaps i caught one that he threw at me? i do not know.
all i know is i can use it the block the axes he throws at me, and as they go CLANK off my axe, i take more and more steps closer to him.
we are an axe length apart and i try to chop some part of him off, i make futile chopping motions at him with my axe, swinging it at him. but for some reason i keep missing him... on purpose.
he dodges them easily, and i curse myself for having a conscience - because thats what is stopping me from really hacking into him. that and the fact that i dont want to see blood.
he ends up nipping me with an axe of his, and i am mega pissed off, but what can i do?
So i make a run for it, i run past him, running running, i look behind me and he is close on my heels with his axe.
i run across this bright green field of grass, and faster and faster i skim across the greenery and near a tall brown fence. i double my speed, and i can hear the guy behind me, suddenyl i jump! and i make it over the fence.
leaving the guy behind.

i am in a theme park. there are rides everywhere, hotdog stands balloon men, everything. lots of music exploding in my ears in one big jumbled off tune mess.
i walk around disorientated because something about the place freaks me out.
my sister is with me. i walk past a clearing where there is a classroom, with a huge brown verandah where some people are stnading.
they seem to be playing catch with something.
sometimes they catch, sometimes they dont.
their catch partner is very far away.
we walk onwards.
a big rollercoaster rises in front of us.
itsbright pink but there is a sinister aura about it.
we decide to go on. something i never do, because i hate rollercoasters, but we were there alreayd so what the heck.
before i can back out, we are already in the line.
then we watch, as we travel up the ramp slowly, slowly, as the people that have cued in front of us go in bunches into the little carriages.
then as we watch, the rollercoaster cars go round and round and round in loops then, the amazing feature about this roller coaster, is that you actually flip out of your seat and do a little summersault before landing back into your seat on one of the loop de loops. i freak out, no way am i going on a rollercoaster like that!
but we are already at the top of the line.
we get into our bright pink carts. i am with two little kids, and 5 gnomes.
the gnones with their assorted coloured pointy hats and white beards sit int he front, and then its the two little kids, and then its me on the back seat of the car.
i dont want to go on this ride, but its too late, off we go!
we ride down down down down fast, then up, then down then up then down down down again but i do not feel that 'left my stomach back there' feeling, and before we approach the loops which make us do summersaults out of our cars, we stop the car, as a group.
none of us, the 5 gnomes nor the two kids nor i, wanted to go through with that section.
so we all get off.
phew.
apparently it was super safe, noone had ever missed falling back into their seats and falling or flying off somewhere. but it was possible. and i was not taking that risk.
then there was a show reel of people who had gone on that rollercoaster, and ended up falling out and having to walk along the tracks then getting whooooshed and pushed off from speeding cars that went by, as well as ironing their toes or fingers - whichever they used to cling to the tracks. but for some strange reason, they never fell, and never seemed to feel pain whe the carriages ripped past them and skidded their skin off or chopped their toes off, and they always had these crazy laughing happy faces.

we all slinked off in separate directions, before the rollercoaster people could come and scream at us for not completing the ride.
i walk past the clearing where the people are playing catch.
now i can see what they are playing catch with.
tiny tiny animals.
like tiny chihuahua's and tiny kittens and puppies and squirrels and stuff.
i cant believe it. i stand and watch in horror as their catch partner who is all the way across the huge giant field, takes a run up and PEGS a hapless animal up into the air, watich as it tumbles helplessly across the sky, and watch as it either gets caught by the other catch partner, or smashes against the verandah wooden floors.
it immediately dies of course, and its dismembered body is sprawled and its limbs are all broken and blood gushes and splatters everywhere.
its like roadkill.
and its not like the ones that get caught fare any better because being flung through the sky like that and falling so hard and landing in the upturned hands, doesnt stop the force of the drop and you can see the animal continue to 'fall' in their hands so that you can almost hear the limbs snap the bones break the neck sever.
and there are tons and tons of baby animal carcasses littering the verandah and all across the field, because sometimes they dont throw hard enough so it lands smack in the middle of the field, or if the catcher cant be bothered to catch and it smashes into the verandah floor or window, or sometimes they try kicking instead of throwing and their aim isnt too good.
i walk up to them and tell them off, shocked that they could do something like this. but they ignore me. as if im not even there.
i leave because i dont want to stand amongst all these pitiful dead bodies.

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Subject:	vinnies mum, martins girlfriend, jumbo sale
Time:	4:33 pm.
Mood:	irritated.

i know this was a dream, because there's no way it could have happened.. even so, when i woke up, i called vinnie to confirm, that it wasnt true.

Anyway.

So im supposed to give vinnie a wakeup call each morning at 6am (this is true) and this morning i clal, and his mum picks up ( i call the home phone) and she has taken to picking up lately, and reassuring me she'll wake him up and thanking me for calling,
anyway, this time she picks up and we end up havinga discussion about karaoke machines, where i ask her questions about hers, coz they got one, and we were chatting, and then when we hung up she said to call her if had any more questions, and we hung up. and iremember htinking whoops, i forgot to wake up vinnie.

~~~

Ben's 21st house party, which is tonight, which i planned on NOT going..
well in my dream, i am already there.
and for some reason we sit at this big wooden table and we are eating, which i have no problems with.
but then there is this girl sitting next to me and i dont know who she is.
turns out, its martin's girlfriend! (he doesnt have a gf in real life)
anyway so i start to talk to her, find out her name is katie, and she is a bit strange,
she wouldnt tell me her age, but i think she was 19.
and she was asian and petite.
and i asked her why she wasnt eating and she said because she was on a diet because she was fat.
like what?! she wasnt fat at all so i tell her that and we get into a discussion on our fatness.
so then we were like, nope only one way to figure this out, so we go outside with nim, so it probably looked a bit strange... two girls leading a guy outside, into the backyard.
where we took off our tops, and hung them on the clothesline and nim was to judge who was fatter.
and of course i was fatter because i'd just stuffed myself with food and also coz katie was NOT fat in the first place.

~~~

its night time at my house and we are all gathered in front of the front door.
we have tables set out, and it turns out, my sister and i are selling stuff, all sorts of junk.
and we have some friends helping us but not one of those faces we actually know in real life.
anyway, there was this guy who was very helpful, the others were mostly girls and they just walked around the table and pick up stuff and go ooh! stupid typical girls..
anyway,

noone wanted to buy anything coz it all looked crap, like junk.
then i had a brainwave to light up the place so that people can see better and buy the stuff? because it was getting really dark and cold.
so i stood there switching on all these light switches coz i had like a huge light switch panel that was fillllled with switches and i was pressing them all to see which ones were which and getting really dizzy coz my face was RIGHT up close to the switches.

then my aunt from next door was like "catherine!! dont turn them all on you'll blow the electricity system!" so then i switched off about 1000 of them so that left just a few to light up the place.

anyway, then i stood on the table and held up a tiny choppping board and said "mini chopping board! $5! $5! mini chopping board!" and it turned into an auction, coz everyone went me me me me me!
so then i thought in my head oooh this is good, i can sel it for more than $5! but isntead of yelling out $5, i said $1! sold to the girl in the red!
and then iwas like oh shit! in my head, how dumb can i be?! stupid maths.

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Subject:	mesh vinnie, superhero kat, photo mania, playground fight
Time:	5:35 pm.
Mood:	discontent.

i am friends with cameron diaz, lucy lui and drew barrymore (?! do i smell a fantasy coming on?!),
but its only me and cameron who are going to the club where vinnie is to be breaking.
we sneak in because we arent supposed to be there.
being very sexy and all dolled up as you would be, we scale the walls and kind of float and jump from top of cupboards and stuff and crawl along the ceiling etc..

vincent is not supposed to be breaking, and i confront him about it, but he ignores me..
i am annoyed, and hurt.. cameron is pissed at vinnie for being such a dick.
vinnie is also different.. like a different person altogether.
and he is wearing the most atrocious outfit.
he is wearing black mesh bits and pieces all over his body.
its a really strange outfit but he seems to like it, and even after i tell him er.. what youre wearing is hideous.. he just ignores me and walks away..

so that means we are isolated at this party, we're not supposed to be there, so we fade into the background, we melt into the wallpaper, we blend...
and we fly up, cameron and i and we spy upon everyone whilst we cling, spiderman-like to the ceiling.
something happens and we sabotage the party, and we end up having a hand to hand combat, full of martial arts mixed with pub brawl type fighting, and of course, me and cameron come up trumps even though pitted against a bunch of bad gangster boys :P

~~~~

i am at primary school.. i am IN primary school and i have no friends.. noone talks to me.. but it is actually high school.
i walk through the corridors, breeze through the classrooms, noone notices me as i walk past their desks, past the blackboard, in and out of the rooms..
i have a camera and i float and take photos, i float like im weightless to take better shots.. instead of having to angle my camera, if i wanted a shot from a birds eye view, i only had to float above my subject and take the shots..
something bad happens, the alarm bells ring, and everyone runs out screaming, bad people are in the school, they have guns..
and i float quietly around taking photo's..
they do not see me, but that is because they choose not to see me, and i choose to be unseen, i hover above them and take photos of upturned furniture, panicking students, the bad people who are masked..
they are beautiful shots, and i ignore everything except for what i see through the lens.
all i think about as i float silently is how beautiful these photos will turn out to be.

~~~~

if you have been to my street, you will know it is a no through road and it has a park at the end of it.
the playground equipment is situated in a large sand pit, and the grassy hill that surrounds it is quite big enough for holding a gathering for everyone in the street, if we were to have one.. which we used to in the form of street christmas parties.

anyhow, my dream was situated there, and there were lots of strangers as well as my family and my uncle and his family.
there were kids playing on the equipment, lots of kids and theyre we're annoying, suddenly, my father throws a yellow duster, very very hard and it smacks into one of the kids faces, right near his mouth, and you can see the impact and it HURTS, because the kid begins to wail. and all the kids scatter.
the adults standing nearby go into a frenzy, and the father of the hit child, a huge massive white man with a balding scalp and a horrid red pig face stares up angrily at the group of us standing above the park, and demands WHO threw the duster that hit his child?!

noone answers him and i am standing there very alarmed because if we were to have a physical fight with their group, they would win for sure as they were all hefty white men, whilst we were puny asians and a smattering of neighbours.
we stand united though, silently and we stare at the other group.
none says a word.
the father demands again, "WHO HIT MY SON WITH THIS DUSTER?!"
their group walks right up to us, we can feel the tension, i can feel the tension, i dont know what to do, i dont want to dob my father in even though i know he threw the duster, and i am scared someone will dob him in, if that happens he will surely be bashed by the big white man.
the white man is very very angry now, and he is swearing and carrying on and really wanting a fight, and our group finally talks, but only to say they dont know who threw it. that none of them threw it.
the white man goes crazy because he knows one of us threw it.
suddenly, my uncle takes the blame, but doesnt, im not clear on what happens, but we stand together and the white guy and his group end up walking away, as do our group.
all i know is i felt like my fathergot away with someone he caused, and i felt a huge sense of relief, though guilty at the same time because i was protecting him even though he was in the wrong, just because he was my father.
so it was a conflict of morals..

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Subject:	charmed im sure
Time:	4:03 pm.
Mood:	relieved.

i was one of the charmed sisters - prue was also still there (perhaps this dream was triggered by the fact the night before it, vinnie had accused me of being obsessed with charmed - which for the record im not, i was just talking about witchcraft and he started on about nerr catherine you want to be a charmed sister..)

anyhow, i was the youngest sister, under paige, and the dream was set out kind of like the charmed show, so it was like a tv show, the way we interacted with eachother, as in the things we said to eachother were like the lines they say on the show.

so we are the charmed sisters and on this episode a cute guy comes into the life of the four sisters at the house.
typical show.
but we only see him through a car window when we walk past, every morning.
and we all think he is rather dashing and handsome with unlimited charm oozing out of him in the way he speaks and smiles and whatnot and we have exhanged pleasantries and witty remarks every morning.
then we being to speculate, that perhaps, he only has a nice face.. (as we dont see the rest of his body), going with the whole too good to be true thing, how could one guy, have the whole package??
so we discuss it with things like "he is the perfect guy except maybe he only has one leg, or one arm, or maybe he doesnt even have any legs at all."

so one day we walk past his car, on the way to the milkbar again, and he actually gets out of his car -and we see that he is in a blue business shirt with a tie, and he has two arms and two legs, so we conclude that we were just paranoid.

then we are in the house, and its night time, and the black girl from felicity winks at the kids who are sitting in the livingroom.. turns off the lights and goes upstairs to bed.
i think thats too strange so i walk down the stairs and turn on the lights.
behold. a bunch of kids.
a group of five kids, and two are cabbage patch doll kids. a boy and a girl.
theres something wrong with the picture and i walk up closer and scan the place and they look at me and the two cabbage patch kids are sitting on the couch and there is a huge box full of rows and rows of multicoloured mini donuts. there is also fruit juice bottles lying around.
it feels really eery and its dark and scary and everything is silent when suddenly the television turns on and i turn to look at it, flickering in the gloom and the screen is all hazy and static-ey but you see all these horrific faces peering out from the screen, its all red and black and the light that pours out of the screen is glowing red and black.
the faces are grey and stare out - some have no eyes, just empty sockets, some have patches sewn on over their mouths, its hideous and i scream and turn to run and collide with the cute guy who holds my arms and asks whats the matter??!
i shake my head unable to speak and point shakily in the direction of the tv, he looks over my shoulder, stiffens and turns off the tv with the remote control.
then we both turn towards the kids who are still sitting on the couch, silently watching us..
we approach them and ask, what the are doing..
they dont answer.
so i kneel down near the couch and i look up at the cabbage patch girl, and she opens up to me and confesses that they are on a diet..
i listen on as she explains the donut diet.
its for losingweight and someone told her that you have to eat 8 donuts, then drink lots and lots of fruit juice. that way you will lose weight.
i press her for more information and she said you have to do that 8 times a day, so thats 64 mini donuts in a day and mountain-loads of fruit juice! her and her brother are doing this diet thing, and its horrible as i crouch at the couch and listen to her tell her little tale and she looks so solemn and the boy sitting next to her (her cabbage patch brother) is sitting there continually stuffing his face grotesquely with the mini donuts..
the girl shows me a huge cupboard full of fruit juice..

anyhow in the end we clear up the diet rumour for the kids and so it was a happy ending.
like how a good tv show should be.
it had the hotgirls, funny script, nice cloooothes, mandatory hot guy, element of suspense and horror, the revelation and the happy ending.

Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	the snake, the betrayal, the box, the 'key', the pirate ship, the half seal half humans
Time:	3:22 pm.
Mood:	determined.

this is another family affair, and its night time, upstairs at my house.
the rooms are unfamiliar, so i guess its not really my house, but it is.
in one room where i am, there is a rocking horse. its dark and sinister.
*memory lapse*
all i know is i am with my gramps, olivia, and cousin raymond.
someone lets loose a snake and it lands in my arms. its a poisonous snake and i freak and chuck it as hard as i can. it lands with a thud on the ground, my heart is palpitating and it skims across the floor and winds itself up my leg and around my body and back in my arms. i freak again and this time i grab it too hard to chuck and the snake, being startled and agitated, sinks its fangs into my hands. i scream and try to throw it off.
it comes off after lots of jumping and shaking on my part.
i feel slightly woozy from the venom, and there are four punctures in my hand.
its still dark and the others stand and watch my reaction.
oh and throughout the snake ordeal, i felt compelled to shut my eyes, which probably didnt help, but i just did not want to see the snake bite me, or rear its head in anticipation of biting me.

anyway, the snake is forgotten as i realise who set the snake loose on me.. who was trying to do away with me..
who was it?!

in my gut i know who it is, and that person is grandpa!
he is an evil sneaky man, who masqueraded as the nice grandpa but really.. he wasnt.

so i pretend i dont know this information of course, and everything returns to normal.
though i know i am under surveilance, because grandpa suspects that someone in the family knows his secret, but he doesnt know who yet so everyone.. is playing a game of deadly, guess who??

because everything is monitored and there are camera's everywhere in the castle in which we are, talking, planning on how to thwart our grandpa has to be in code so as not to attract any attention.
my sister and i have to try and escape.
because grandpa has us under lock and key. but how are we going to manage that with all the guards patrolling around?
(this whole dream has a secret agent/dangerous mission feeling)
grandma is helping us escape because grandma is a good guy, even though she is pretending to be a bad guy (with my grandpa) but she has to be careful incase grandpa finds out. grandma is how we get our information on what the bad guys are planning. so she is playing a dangerous game..

anyway, grandpa is kind of on to us, so we have to act fast and find some distraction thing, because the plan is, we have to get the thing in the box, that thing in the box, will help us escape DEATH in the hands of our evil grandfather.
the only key that opens the box is the sleeve with the button hole of a gold shirt that is in the closet, in my grandpa's room. and its heavily guarded. so we have to somehow get that.
*memory lapse*
we have the box, and we have the shirt, but grandpa is angry and suspicious.
raymond distracts him by talking to him whilst me and olivia try too look normal whilst looking around the room trying to find out how we can sneak out of there without him seeing us, AND at the same time activate the box and get at the thing inside.
we know its only a matter of minutes before our grandpa finds out his shirt and box is missing.
suddenly, he knows! he shouts for guards and they come running, raymond runs off and guards chase him whilst me and olivia run off in a different direction and we hide in some toilets.
we lock the door and use the sleeve with the button hole.
you have to flatten the sleeve and slide it into the slit that is in the box and twist it like a key.
it works, it opens and -
*memory lapse*
we are running along a pirate ships bow or stern or whatever you call it..
er.. just running along the deck will do.
and pirates (grandpa's men) are chasing us.
we have no where else to run to, they have us cornered and they try to make us give up the box.
we hide it, and we say we dont know what they are talking about.
they threaten to throw us overboard, and we try to bide some time by negotiating with them but really we are trying to slip the thing in the box (which we havegotten out) into our sleeves or somewhere, so that even if they get the box.. the thing insde the box will be missing still, rendering the powers of the box useless.
something happens and they charge at us, so we jump,
down down over the edge of the ship, into the sea, and splash!!
we sink downwards, but we quickly swim up and are surrounded by heaps of seals which for some reason... look kind of like mermaids.
the pirates jump in after us and swim towards us, so we have no time to chat to the seal/mermaids so we start swimming around, trying to outswim the pirates.
the seals are on our side, i think they kind of had human upper halves with seal tails, but instead of arms i think they had seal flippers.
they made heaps of waves and splashed all around us and created a diversion for us to swim away whilst the pirates splashed around trying to see through all the water.
we swam underwater after hearing hurried instructions by the chief seal who was a half man, telling us to swim to a safe place where seals will help us escape, whilst the dealt with the pirates.
so we had to remember heaps of directions as we dove under, and a battle raged above us.

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Subject:	school bus, porn, bug spray puppy killing
Time:	3:37 pm.
Mood:	guilty.

I am chatting to karen on the phone, about the video night we are going to be having that night.
she is relaying our conversation, as we speak, to romeo, who is with her.
it turns out, we are renting a porno, "its really good!!" says karen, as i whine "but i dont WANT to watch a porno.."
romeo laughs as he thinks its hilarious, and i can hear him through the phone, as well as for some reason,
my mind can see him, like he is in a little box in the top right hand corner of the frame, so i can see his facials.
i am thinking i do not think i want to watch porno on this video night we are having, because for some reason, i have the notion that it will be a horror porno, and i hate scary movies.
also, it is getting dark, the sun is setting, and so the mood is scarier.
i ask karen if we can watch something else instead, but she says we cant because l.a has already hired the video, and l.a really really wants to watch it.
i think to myself 'oh gosh, i hope mum or dad doesnt walk in when we are watching this!",
because they were all coming over my house to watch it.
i also didnt want to watch a porno with two other couples, l.a and louie, and karen and romeo.
i was thinking 'does no one think this arrangement at all strange except for me?"

anyhow, so they will come over after work tonight, and so i have to finish my work so i can hurry home and make popcorn etc.
BUT as i walk outside my office where i made the call, its raining, and the sky is gray and its horrible, and i see that the school bus that is waiting for me, is stuck.. one of its 6 wheels are stuck in a mud puddle.
and jannet is trying to push the bus so that it will get out of the puddle but she isnt strong enough.
so i try to push too but its not happening, and all the school kids are watching through the bus window.
so vinnie and ron come out and try to help jannet to push the bus whilst i duck into the bus, and tell the kids "hey can you talk?" they all shake their heads at me. "well, you should." then i jump back out and help the others push the bus.
the horrible rain drizzles down and we're all bedraggled, and im late!! i know that im late in getting these kids back home.
so i jump on the bus and away we go.
for some reason, whenever i drive in my dreams, i speed like the dickens, so there i am speeding with a busload of kids, and we're swerving around corners and the bus is tipping on its wheels, its fantastic driving on my part i must say, and im definitely making up for the lost time with the mud puddle thing.

*beep beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep*
this is the intermission bit where my mobile beeps at me to wake up at 6am.
i groggily reach for my phone and turn it off. then dial vinnie's number and give him his wake up call.
then.
back to sleep...

puppies! theres a new litter of puppies that i have to get rid of.
poor cute little puppies. theyre tiny labrador puppies and they are an assortment of brown, black, yellow and pink.
pink as in realistic pink.. or as realistic a pink dog can be. more like a deep red type of pink..
i am on the top of a building, you know, concrete all around me, the wind is blowing hard, just like in the movies where people try to escape in a helicopter or for a mega fight scene.
well i was there to get rid of the puppies.
they were all in a plastic bag. and one by one i take them out. and i think there are two other people with me. maybe my dad and olivia. and we're all crouching like asians. and we put the puppy down. and i spray bug spray at it.
thats how i had to exterminate them. i would spray the bug spray which formed these globules of foam on the floor. and the puppy would lick it up and eat it coz puppies being inquisitive little things and playful, would think its a game and would hobble over to the globules and eat up the bug spray.
i think it might have been.. puppy spray instead of bug spray but basically it worked in the same way.
the puppy ends up soaked in spray and feels woozy and stumbles until finally it dies.. and goes all limp.
then we take the next puppy out of the bag and so on.
and we are crouching there, and its really sad because i LOVE animals so i dont know why i had to do that, but it was my job so i had to, and they were so cute and it was terrible.
and i remember taking out the second last puppy who happened to be pink.
and i was spraying it and it was getting all wet and it was blinking and licking the spray off and somehow i poked it in the eyes so i blinded it and instead of eyeballs it had filmy white /bluegrey eyeballs... like a bliind person or someone with bad cataracts..
and it was so pitiful, stumbling as the bug spray slowly, slowly took effect, and it was blind and licking its nose and the foam around it and slowly its life was draining away from it and it was just a newly bor just fluffy little puppy.

and then we turn to the bag and theres just one left. its a yellow puppy. and its sleeping, curled up in the plastic bag, and i think to myself, aww... why do they have to die? why were they 'sentenced' to death? because no one wanted them? because their mother got knocked up and so this is kind of like an external abortion?
and thinking how innocent they were, they didnt have any idea what their fate was, they thought we were playing with them and even as they were dying, they were still playful, loving puppies, thinking we were friends, not killers, and slightly confused as to why they were feeling strange, and not at all suspecting that it was us.

and although it crossed my mind to keep them, save them, that they didnt have to have this fate,
i went on and carried out my job, even though i knew it was wrong.
as if there wasnt a choice.
it wasnt my decision and i didnt have that power.

Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.

Subject:	crocodile bite, rose water tub, naked jannet.
Time:	3:19 pm.
Mood:	contemplative.

so last night i dreamt a rather strange dream.

i was walking along somewhere and just walked past this big corridor that had a smooth white floor, clack-able for heels type floor.. and i was admiring it and thinking, damn if only i needed to do something in there, then i could walk along that floor -
when suddenly, this crocodile pops out of nowhere.. and bites me on the left leg.
it was probably my fault as i was not concentrating on watching where i was walking, like youre supposed to, to check for crocodiles and whatnot.
anyhow, it was definitely a boy crocodile as it bit me, and so i was left with a brown hole, a puncture, in my ankle.
it didnt hurt and there was no blood, but i obviously couldn't walk after that.
and then these people ran over to me and were like "oh no! you've gotten bitten by a crocodile! quick in here!"
and they lead me into the long white corridor and we clatter along, although i am not really supposed to be able to walk.
and we get to a bigger area, and it turns out this beautiful white corridor was the entrance type thing to a hospital!

(i actually think i jinxed myself.. wanting to have some purpose to go along that corridor and lo and behold.. the crocodile happens)

anyway so its a bit of a bustle, then im standing in that large area and theres a bunch of girls standing to one side.
some doctors walk past, so do some nurses. nice clean white uniforms all around me.
the girls are all wearing a sort of uniform.. white, with navy stripes around the collar thing, sailor-ish.
there is a girl who is standing to the other side of me and she is wearing normal clothes and is holding a package.

a doctor comes up to me, diagnoses me on the spot i suppose with an "alright, here you go." and hands me a package.
a nurse then comes up to me after the doctor bustles away, and tells me "alright you will be in that group" and points to a bunch of girls.
it then becomes clear to me that they dont really care about my punctured foot, and this was how they dealt with patients.. as in, this was how they 'set them on the road to recovery.'

which was, to clarify this - by sticking them in a sort of schooling program, where the patients are in groups, and isolated.. well within their groups, and they must attend classes, full of intense studying, until they are diagnoses as 'well again'. then they can be released. and each patient has their own program, depending on their injury, so its all specialised.

anyway, it turns out im in the same group as the girl who was standing to one side of me.
im like "yay! youre in my group!" and we smile at eachother and introduce ourselves, and all i remember of her is that she was pretty, and slim and my height and had brown shoulder length hair and she wasnt asian, she was white.

oh and in our packages were our timetable and course details etc as well as our instructions for everything, and our uniform which we had to wear, all the time.

then im alone , because everyone has a different class, and i am supposed to be bathing.
so i get this tub.. its very small, and its in a clam shape, and its a dodgy plastic tub, and theres two of them, and they are both green..
imagine.. like how easter eggs are made up of two halves, yeah, these two tubs, if joined together, make a whole shape, so imagine a HUGE icecube maker tray thing.. er. yep.
thats what my tubs were like.
so theres two and theyre pretty small, i can sit but im a bit scrunched up, i cant stretch my legs or anything.
and it is filled with rose water which i have to bath myself with, and its pure clear water, so pretty, and there are red rose petals that float around me, as well as open peachy/pinky chrysanthenums that float around me too.

so i bathe away, playing with the water, and then i notice that jannet is in front of me.
bathing in her own tub of rose water.
and her tub is bigger than mine, coz she chose tubs first.
so she got this big tub that she could kind of stretch in, whilst i got two small ones, and theres not much use for the other one considering i cant be in two tubs at once.

she was bathing in front of me in her own tub and she was naked and we smiled at eachother and she did her sexy 'look downwards' look where she smiles (she does that alot in photos so maybe thats why she did that in my dream), and she had strategically positioned her arms and legs so that you couldnt see anything, (as in boobs etc). she did place them on purpose, just in my dream, when i looked at her, she happened to be in that position.

how lovely, my dreams are g rated.

anyway.
theres also a turtle that resides in my tub, and my job is to look after the turtle, thats also a 'class'.
so i stroke its shell and treat it nice, like a pet.
jannet probably had her own sea animal to look after too.

hm interesting, we had the same 'class', so perhaps she got bitten by a crocodile too?

anyhow, i have been bathing for some time, as in, over the semester or whatever, i have been bathing, and i know i am getting better, so i will be able to leave the hospital soon.
but i am sad because then who will look after the turtle?

and i am out of the tub, and i am looking into a bucket, and the poor turtle which was originally big, and which had grown bigger since i watched over it, had actually shrunk and was this puny little baby turtle.. and it was sitting at the bottom of the plastic blue bucket. with only some sand to keep it company.
and i remember looking at it and thinking, how sad... im going to miss the turtle when i leave.

and i didnt want to leave because i liked bathing in green plastic shell shaped tubs full of rosewater and floating petals and flowers, and i liked having a turtle to look over, and i liked the white walls and wide corridors and clacky floors... and i remember thinking.. i wish i didnt get better so fast so i could enjoy this 'sanctuary' a bit longer.

oh and the hospital had no concept of time.. no day or night, it was absolutely cut off from the world, and we only followed our timetables and instruction package, and it was all about solitude and isolation, but in a good way.
(thats why jannet and i only exchanged a smile, instead of having a conversation)

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Subject:	superwoman kat versus wishy washy feelings kat
Time:	3:31 pm.
Mood:	predatory.

i have divided into two.
superwoman kat, and wishy washy feelings kat.
or, no feelings powerkat, and floaty lovey kat.
er.. basically there is a me with no feelings, and a me with all feelings.

and the point of being divided up was because i was on a mission..
to protect vinnie and myself. as we were running away from the enemy.
and there was no point in just being myself.. a whole kat, because then i would never be strong enough and would fail. therefore, the sensible thing was to divide up so certain characteristics are grouped, making me more powerful and capable.
hence - powerkat was only filled with strength and knew no fear and dared to do anything, whilst feelingskat, was brimming with all the feelings and thoughts and love etc.
so together, as seperate beings, they made a powerful team.
powerkat carried out the actions, took the risks, and feelingskat watched over and kept powerkat in check.

i saw through the eyes of powerkat, and i had short black hair, like.. the Deal Or No Deal people, Pulp Fiction type look.. i had that short bob of luscious black hair though im not sure if i had a fringe, and i was wearing all black and i had black pants and stiletto heels.
very powerkat-ey :P

feelingskat was watching over us, and would talk to powerkat and warn her if there were bad guys about,
eg "kat, theres two guys coming towards you in a semi trailer." and i would answer her "let them come.."
and so that was how we navigated.
because i was powerkat and powerkat was a real person, had a real body as in, solid, whilst feelingskat was transparent and floated and dreamy and surreal and did mindspeak.

anyway, i was driving this truck, and there were heaps of trucks all around, in front, behind me, and i was driving at a tremendous speed, and vinnie was clinging on and im telling him "hold on" and i swerve and the truck totters and roars down the hill, because the road we were travelling were all hills, very steep, etc, and i was drivign like a maniac and having such fun because remember, i am powerkat, devoid of all feelings because feelings get in the way of doing things, so being without fear, made me strong enough to deal with our pursuers who were all dangerous big people.
anyway, so we are zooming along up and down the hills and the trucks are all trying to stop us and ram into us and push us off the cliff etc, and im battling back by zooming in between trucks and swerving dangerously and smashing into trucks to drive THEM off the road etc and it was such a thrill ride, and poor vinnie is clinging on - (vinnie plays a very submissive, bewildered person in this dream), and i am communicating with feelingskat who flies high above our truck and navigates for us.

then suddenly we reach this hill thing where we oversee a HUGE compound full of monster trucks etc and without a thought i ram my foot on the accelerator and i tell vinnie for the tenth time, to hold on!! and i smash through enemy trucks and i fly off the hill and during those brief seconds i yell over the roar of the wind and smashing of the trucks to vinnie to get ready to jump because im going to break into one of those trucks and continue our escape (because our truck was getting a bit dented and worn out), so we make impact boom! on the ground and i swerve across and break suddenly at thesame time jumping out of the truck and i run towards this small truck and i jump onto the back, latching on and climb onto the roof of it, smack the window and jump in and i open the passenger door for vinnie and then as the other trucks come whizzing down (they took the safe option - going down a road instead of flying down a cliff) we roar off and continue along the hilly road and this time its all gravelly and bumpy and we rattle along and feelingskat is directing us again and powerkat is feeling sooooooo... adrenaline rush!!! and poor vinnie is petrified.
then flash!
another scene and i am hiding with vinnie at my old house, i am still powerkat, and i am hiding in the sunroom outside out front door, and i tell him to hush as bad guys are searching for us just outside and im kind of covering him as he crouches, and im looking out and listening for the baddies.
then flash!
another scene and im surrounded by bad guys! and vinnie is next to me and its fight time so i launch into battle and im fighting like a guy, ful on punching and kicking like making swings at their head and making contact and you can hear the crunching of bones and breaking of jaws and kicking of nuts and everything and all this time powerkat only feels adrenaline and a sense of insane joy because this is what she was built for, she lives for danger!!
anyway then flash!!
the bad guys are down, and there is one guy left and he is lying face up on the ground, and i am towering above him, my legs spread, feet planted either side of his body and i raise my foot and rest my stiletto heel on his throat and i tell him "one move.. just one move... and see what happens." and then i had my heel on his groin area and i say the same thing and so the guy is really scared and vinnie and my cousin raymond who suddenly appeared somehow, bound up his arms and legs, and we leave him strussed up on the ground and continue our 'protect vinnie and escape' mission.

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Subject:	black and white striped shirt, fried rice, jealousy, sadness, loneliness, beautiful nhu, a shower
Time:	11:20 pm.
Mood:	depressed.

it is like the chinatown markets but i know its not, i think vinnie is around because i can feel him but im not sure where he is. i am not happy and i dont understand and there is something between us.. maybe that is why i could feel him around, but i did not know where he was.
there is a clothes rack which is only $15, so i look through, i see a black and white striped collar shirt which i like, but i decide to look around more.
i walk around and look at other things.
then i am in a small metal building and there are a bunch of people, i think they were all asian.
they sit around watching a little television and eating rice and things out of large bowls. they chatter away very loudly and seem to know who i am, or am indifferent to my presence, whichever, as they do no more than glance at me.
i am outside again and i am looking at the shirt, but i still think maybe there is something better elsewhere.
then i am in the building again and i am up the narrow stairs.
in the markets i look at some jewellery and people jostle around me, nhu is there!
nhu is in the building and she is standing near the television. she tells me there is nice fried rice at the markets.
i am up the stairs again and into a bathroom. i want to shower.
in the markets nhu tells me again about the fried rice, what a bargain! and it is so nice, she never knew it was until she tried it. dont be deceived by appearances she says.
i am a bit huffy because i already know about the rice and i am never deceived by appearances but i am distracted by the black and white shirt again.
up the stairs i close the bathroom door and put my towel on the towel rack and look around. it is very small and has metallic light blue tiles.
the people downstairs are still watching the telly.
nhu shows me the fried rice again, she has bought another container full, its her 5th, it is so yummy she says, i know that, and i get one for myself and eat it. i look at nhu and she is so pretty and i am jealous because i know vinnie thinks she is very pretty, and mcuh better than me.
i go to show her the black and white shirt, its all gone... i wanted to get the shirt but there were no more of my size left.
i am very sad in the bathroom again. and i turn on the water and the bathroom steams up.
the people downstairs take no notice of me and i dont think vinnie cares either.
i still dont know where he is. i can only feel him.
i hide in the shower.
someone asks who was upstairs?
nhu said catherine is showering. noone else cares except for her.

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Subject:	mel and babies
Time:	10:36 pm.
Mood:	nauseated.

i dreamt this one two nights ago, and i think it might have had to do with talking to mel before i finally went to bed, and also watching The Next Best Thing on tv.

melissa and i were sitting in this cream coloured room, it was rectangular and small.
there was a couch on one end and it was white/cream coloured, it was against the wall and there were no armrests or anything, it reached from one end to the other. the window which was on the other side of the wall also stretched from one end to the other of the wall, and bright sunlight poured in, and bathed the room in a luminuous beautiful warm light.
the room was really quite sexy, i would love to have a room like that.

anyhow, melissa and i are sitting on the couch, about a body's width apart and we are chatting, seriously, about having babies.
more specifically, having a baby, together.
now i dont know how that could be possible, not to mention really quite absurd an idea, but for some reason, the 'logic' behind it was this: because we were good friends, not just friends, more like sisters, so thats a special bond, so we know we'll always be there for eachother, and so it would be the perfect conditions for having a baby together.
and as we all know, mel wants nothing to do with babies, but as we were talking, i remember her saying "well i guess so, i mean, i guess i could have a baby if you put it that way.."
im not sure what i put in what way but then she laughed and said something like "oh god, it'll be 3 months in and i'll be clutching my stomach going 'i cant take this anymore!! i want it out NOW!' and i'll still have 6 months to go!!"
then we laughed and she had to go but she would come back tomorrow with the stuff - "well alright, i have to go now, but seeing as we're going to do this, i'll come tomorrow with the stuff."

its tomorrow, and indeed, she comes into the room again, and i am already sitting on the couch waiting for her, and she has the 'stuff'.
the stuff was of course, two 'Pre-Fertilised-Egg Tampons'. because somehow along the line, it changed from mel having a baby, to both of us having a baby each.
anyhow. she hands me this huge tampon (about the size of a super large and fat and long glue stick) which looks more like thick crusty white bread crust that as been squished with your hands til it forms a tampon shape and the end crust bits that couldnt fit in the tampon mold are kind of splayed at the ends.. also there is red spots, like cavier on the end of the tampon.. these of course were the pre fertilised eggs.

let me give you a medical run down: to have a baby these days, if you are both female, is as easy as purchasing these pre made tampons from your local supermarket. as you can see by the name, each tampon comes with a batch of pre fertilised eggs, which of course we all know, is actually an embryo, and if you use this tampon, then you dont have to do anything with a guy at all because you already have an embryo in you. fantastic invention.

anyway. so she hands me this huge tampon/bread crust thing. and she sits next to me on the couch and our bottom halfs are naked and no we didnt look at eachother or anything, this was a serious baby dream remember.
anyway, we try to stick this huge tampon thing into our thingies.
its really hard work and it hurts like anything because its so HUGE, and i remember this took quite a while in my dream, because we both couldnt seem to shove it in.
i remember mel commenting "geez, the things we go through for a baby."
anyway, we keep on shoving, until finally, we both get it in at the same time.
we stand slowly and there is this fullness feeling in our stomachs.
we both clutch our stomachs and we cant really stand with our legs closed so we are standing kind of legs apart because you cant stick the whole tampon in you so the left over crust bits are sticking out of you.
we look at our tummies and they are slightly bloated, and that terrible full feeling is so nauseating...
we are both thinking hm, i think we are pregnant! but i dont think we say it out loud as we stare at our slightly rounded bellies, because, here we go medical again:
how the tampon works is, we stick it inside, and the pre fertilised eggs have to actually 'take'.. they have to kind of 'attach', and thats when the baby will be 'established' and actually become a real baby and grow etc.
so there is a chance that it will work, and a chance that it will be a dud tampon, or the egg doesnt 'take' to your body and you end up with no baby.

you were supposed to know for sure after about 3 months, im not sure, if you can feel bloated or your stomach is inflated slightly, but our stomachs were instant, so we were pretty sure we were pregnant, but we didnt voice it, just incase.

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Subject:	pills, white walls, stabbing
Time:	12:02 am.
Mood:	shocked.

i was walking in and out of rooms, all the walls were white.
the rooms were all filled with different things.
one was a kitchen where there was a white table, and there were a bunch of old people sitting there talking and eating cakes.
another room was filled with morning glory things, bags, pencilcases, and a korean girl was standing around bored, as i walked around and checked out if there was anything worth buying.
in another room was a bed, on which sat a girl.
she was very sad looking. she had long straight brown hair and huge dark brown eyes. she wore a white dress. she looked up at me with a look of despair and overwhelming sadness.
we introduced ourselves, but i dont think we swapped names.
i think perhaps we just acknowledged eachother.

i wandered out of the room and into the corridor, walked past the rooms, came out onto a verandah.
ht had a white railing, a white char in the corner. and if you looked out, there was a huge backyard of perfect, neat, trim, bright green grass.
and old man sat on the white chair sometimes, i think.
and i think he was kind.
but im not sure if he actually existed.
maybe im remembering it all muddled.
the steps that led down to the backyard were next to a flight of stairs. they were also all white.
and the wound up and up to another level in this building.

i wandered into the building again, and see the man who plays darcy on neighbours.
he is wearing all white. he is bad..
i know he is bad.. he gives off bad vibes.
much in the same way that the girl gave off sad vibes, the korean girl gave off indifferent vibes, and the old man gave off kind vibes.

i am wary of him, but he smiles at me and talks to me and introduces himself, and is very nice. so i warm towards him, and let down my guard.
we walk past the kitchen area again, and as we pass the kitchen doorway (there is no door... its just a gap in the wall type of doorway), we can see that the old people in white are all still sitting and chatting and eating cake at the table.

we walk into another room, there is a double bed here and other furniture.
the darcy man tries to seduce me, and i am weak, but i know he is bad, but he is bigger and stronger than me, and he pretends to be a nice kind man to mask the seduction, but i know what he is trying to do.
i try to dodge him, but inconspicuously, because i can sense that if i let on that i know about him.. then something bad will happen.
he pushes me onto the bed.
it is covered in white sheets.
he tries to push me onto my back so that i am lying on the bed, but i wont let him.
he pushes harder and i push back.
he gets angry, and i get scared, he raises his voice at me and he tries to force me to lie on the bed, he grabs me and pushes me harder but i struggle and i fight him with my eyes.
he looks very scary.
i fall onto the bed and he tries to climb on top of me but i kick him in the stomach and push him away from me. he falls somewhere and i run out of the room.
i remember his shirt is unbuttoned and under that white shirt, his skin is red, it is angry red skin, and his face was also red and angry.

i run out of the room and i run down the corridors, i run through different rooms and my heart beats faster and faster and i am very scared.
i run into the korean girls store/room and i look around for somewhere to hide but there is none.
i run past the kitchen, they are all still sitting and chatting, i run up the stairs, i run in and out of different rooms, i run down the stairs and out onto the verandah.
the kind man is sitting in the chair, he never looks at me, he stands and stares at the green grass.
he doesnt speak, but i think he is telling me that the darcy man will come and get me if i dont run, i have to be very careful because the darcy man is very bad..
i think he tells me to find the sad girl. or maybe i think of that myself.

i run down the corridor again, and into the bedroom where the girl is sitting on her bed.
i am breathing heavily.
i stop and look at her.
she sits and stares up at me with her huge eyes, and he long brown hair.
her white dress is big. almost like a hospital gown.
she trembles and she has something in her hand.
she move sher hand to her mouth many many times.
she chews and swallows.
i look at her hands again.
they are full of capsules, they are half faded orange, and half white.
there are many of them and she crams them into her mouth and chews and chews and swallows.
her hands tremble and she drops them, they scatter to the floor, many many many pills..
she moans and gets on her knees to pick them up.
i bend down to help her.

then she is sitting on her bed again.
i suddenly remember why i am here.
i tell her the story.
she seems to snap out of her sorry daze, and she coems to life, she stands up and she grabs both my hands and she tells me that he did that to her before, and she didnt escape..
and her eyes seemed to tell me 'look at me now'.
she reached into the drawer beside her bed and took out a long silver kitchen knife.
or perhaps it was a long silver stick, im not sure which.
she looks up at me and tells me to be quick, there is no time to lose, follow her!
and she dashes out of the room, bright eyed and alert.
i grab as many knives/sticks as i can hold, they are as long as my arm, some are shorter, and i try to follow her, but she runs very fast, past the kitchen full of chatting old people, past the korean girls room, past many white rooms, but i lose her..
i cannot follow her fast enough and suddenly i am alone.
i am scared... my heartbeat is pounding against my chest, and i clutch the sticks/knives close.
i back up, back back back..
into a white room..
the room has a white bed in it, and a chair in the corner.. but other than that, it is very bare.
there is silence, big, long, and very frightening.
i think to myself, if he found me now, i could not escape, if i screamed for help noone would hear me, because i am lost.
i look at the door, it is open.
i go to it quickly and i push it to close it when i hear footsteps..
the door is almost closed but not quite, i freeze.
slow footsteps sound near, and my heart stops as i see a grey shadow under the door..
it moves from the right to left - and stops.
i stand still, and i can hear the breathing...
the door slowly moves open.. i move with the door and back up against the wall so that noone will suspect i am behind it.
i can feel him scanning the room, and there is a moment of silence.
everything is still.
i can feel that he is satisfied that there is noone in the room, and i can feel him about to back out.
a single thought of relief comes into my head and at that moment when i let down my guard and my heart begins to beat again, suddenly the door flings violently open and the darcy man jumps right in front of me!
i am shocked and terrified and frozen.
he has terrible evil eyes and he is all red, his shirt is undone and you can see his chest and chest hairs and his skin is all red with anger, he is sweating under his white shirt.
he snarls at me, i can see all his teeth and he raises his arms to - do what??
but i dont wait to find out because i suddenly snap into action, and forcefully push the knives that i am holding into his chest!
my eyes never leave his face.
i drive them in, they wont go in properly, and some drop out, but i am holding a lot of knives and i keep stabbing them in, more and more and more and he stands there shocked and in pain and he looks at me with his terrible eyes and his mouth is open and i can see his red tongue, and i keep stabbing and stabbing and i know the sad girl is happy now, and i stab more and more and the people in the kitchen are still chatting and laughing and still dont see me or notice me, and i keep stabbing more and more and more knives and he stands with his arms raised and his chest is all red, with blood, and the room is so white, and the walls are so white, but his white shirt is slowly turning bright red, and all the silver knives are stained with blood..
but i am safe..

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Subject:	vampires
Time:	11:33 pm.
Mood:	anxious.

i had just found out that some of my family were actually vampires.. that gramps was one, and we had all gone over my uncles house (next door) and were up the stairs, sitting down in the open room thing, and i was aware that my gramps was coming too and he was there with us i think, and the stairs were very high, and we were very far off the ground.
i had to pretend that i did not know that they were vampires because they could kills us at anytime, given their extraordinary strength and hearing, ability to fly, ability to read minds, and the seeking out of people by listening to heartbeats.
so you had to keep your heartbeat at a constant too, or they would know that you were scared of them and then know that you KNEW, and they would kill you, even if you WERE family.
i was scared, and something happened but we preteded we had to leave.. my mum was with me, she wasnt a vampire.. but we couldnt be sure who was and who wasnt, so it was all a guessing game.
then gramps was there, you could feel the danger in the air.. he was purple and blue coloured.
and he could fly.
he came into the room and i hid behind something, and he couldnt find any of us.
so thinking he was alone, he jumped off the balcony, and flew upwards, and hovered there.. and flew off higher.. and i tried to escape, to get as far away as possible so while he was occupied, i jumped off the balcony and flew in slow spirals down down down, (the house was very tall) i could fly!
thats when i knew that i was actually half vampire half human. and i had to avoid being turned into a full vampire.
i hid whilst other family milled and walked and searched around the house.
you could not trust anyone.
then mum was with me and we were in a building, in a room with a bunch of guys. they were all strangers and they were all sitting at a table, togehter, they all looked shifty, and the bad sort, but at the same time, they were striking in appearance and had charm.. the leader was the only one who spoke to us, and he was thin and tall and good looking and had piercing eyes and dark eyebrows and dark hair.
they were all vampires, we knew, but we pretended we didnt.
they were all purple and blue but we pretended we didnt notice.

he talked to us and asked us things, in an unassuming manner, but we knew it was an interrogation to see how much we knew. but we dodged the questions, and finally convinced him that we didnt know anything, you could see it in his eyes that although he wasnt 100% sure, he was satisfied enough to let us go.
so we left the building but we knew that if we were not careful, he would come after us and kill us or turn us into vampires.

then i was alone and i was on top of my uncles house, on the roof, and it was night time, and i was hiding, and sitting really still... falt on my stomach, latched onto the slanted roof, and below i could hear my grandpa and the bunches of guys and other relatives walking around, looking for us, and i didnt know where my sister was, but i knew that it was only a matter of time, either i find her and warn her of the dangers, or they will find her and make her one of theirs.
so it was a race against the vampires. and because i could not match their strength or power, it had to be a battle of wits. my only advantage was that because i was a halfie, i had the power of flight, and i knew how they thought and how they could listen to our heart beat, so i knew how to trick them if they DID catch me, to thinking i was unaware, therefore buying me more time..

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