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Tuesday, November 18th, 2008
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4:13 pm - Bailey's new cut.
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When I went away to Igloolik for a couple of days, I had to get a 'dog sitter' for Bailey. I could have taken him with me, but given that even I didn't know where I was staying, I didn't think he'd look too kindly upon too much change. So, I went to the family I had adopted him from and asked them to look after him (for a small fee, of course). They agreed and even offered to through in a hair cut. I said "Sure!" and even told them to just do the cut in the way they normally did (he is around 12 or something). So, I left him in those caring hands and went about my business. I missed him but not as much as normal, knowing he was with his old family and probably loving it.
So here is a photo I took this past summer of Bailey. He was slightly puffier a couple of weeks ago, but this is generally how he looked.
Old Bailey:
Then. I picked him up after his baby sitting adventures. And this is what I got:
New Bailey:
I didn't even recognise him. I kept looking over the smiling children and jumping little dog, wondering...where's Bailey? Then I realised that the skinny, jumping little dog WAS Bailey. I was speechless.
Poor guy. I mean, here we are in -36 (with the windchill) weather and he gets stripped of all his insulation. It definitely limits the time he spends outside. Although, truth be told, he didn't spend that much time out there to begin with (thank god).
But, I just wanted to update quickly before heading home for a veggie dinner and Bailey, to watch Frasier reruns and go to bed early.
Aloha,
G.
current mood:  okay
current music: The Ground That We Walk On - Hawksley Workman
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| Friday, November 14th, 2008
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12:58 pm - when it used to take only one...
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I have been staying at work through lunch lately. Not because I'm being super efficient or anything like that, mostly because it's too cold to walk home and I would spend more time walking there than actually eating lunch and relaxing. So, I just throw a can of tuna or something into my backpack before leaving in the morning.
And plain tuna from the can is no fun, let me tell you. If I were more interested or involved in the whole cooking thing, I'd be making something in the morning that would be tasty to eat at lunch. But that spells a bit more effort and time than I am willing to put in, at the moment.
Work is...still work. I made some tentative plans with an old friend yesterday. I just decided that I would go to Ireland to visit her. I'm looking at 3 weeks in June. Air fare isn't too expensive and I'm already planning to pack my purple filter to take greener than green photos of Irish countryside.
Can't wait to waste my time in a pub, too.
The only other thing that is on my mind about that trip is that I haven't seen this friend of mine in well over 10 years. And you know I am...awkward, etc. But I've given myself a stern talking-to: no acting like a pussy. Just jump in and enjoy life with other people. Even if you have to fly to Ireland to do it.
I'm glad the weekend is here so I can sleep in on purpose. I have to take photos of Bailey and his awesome new haircut. When I left the house this morning at 9, the moon was still out. Soon it will be dark all the time. Anyway, I am planning on photos this weekend. I don't know of what, or who (other than Bailey) but there should be something interesting to look at the next time you come here to read. I still have to upload some photos from the time I spent in Igloolik last weekend.
It's just so painful to do. The internet is so slow and it takes forever to load up photos to Flickr. I'm starting to resize them smaller and smaller so it takes less time.
Speaking of time; it's going by so quickly. I will be heading homeward for the holidays, spending time at my mother's then later, heading to London to live up the city life (har, har). Really, I'm just going for the take-out food. Just kidding.
Oh, and by far the best news: my sister graced us with another little nephew. He was born on Wednesday around lunch time. I was happy to hear everything had gone so well. And a bit sad because I wasn't there to see him. He will be about a month old by the time I make it down that way. 8 pounds, 2 ounces.
God, I can ramble. In any event, I'm off to smoke outside.
G.
current mood: okay
current music: Two - Ryan Adams
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| Tuesday, November 11th, 2008
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2:28 pm - Killing time until flight.
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Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. What does it say?
"...from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet. And..."
Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?
couch cushion, end of coffee table, air.
Before you started this survey, what were you doing?
a little of everything: laundry, packing, cleaning, smoking, drinking pop...
What is the last thing you watched on TV?
part of a movie called Imortality with Jude Law.
Without looking, guess what time it is.
2 p.m.
Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
2:32 p.m.
With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
music: Matthew Good's Weapon.
When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
a half hour ago to take the garbage out.
Did you dream last night?
yeah. I dreamnt my ex's mother was a ghost haunting us. Scared the crap out of me.
Do you remember your dreams?
sometimes yes, sometimes no.
When did you last laugh?
a few minutes ago. Saw a photo of John Cusack.
Do you remember why / at what?
photo, John Cusack. One I hadn't seen before. Mind you, I haven't seen all that many.
What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Nothing. I am in a 'transient social worker' unit for work. Am leaving today, going back to my messy crazy house.
Seen anything weird lately?
Hrmmm...no.
What do you think of this quiz?
useful in that it kills the time before I have to go to the airport. Also, it makes me feel like I'm really updating.
What is the last film you saw?
I only watched part of Imortality, but the other night I watched In the Cut with Mark Ruffio and Meg Ryan. Love that movie.
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
This is a multiple answer. Paris, Prague, Miami, South America, England, Greece, Chicago, London (Ontario), Ireland, New York, Los Angeles. I want to have small apartments in each city so I can go whenever I have the urge to go somewhere. And each place would be home.
If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Take care of the family. I mean, in a good way. Hahaha.
And then I'd pay for all those apartments I mentioned. With upgrades, though.
Tell me something about you that most people don't know.
I'm bipolar.
If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I'd flip the switch on everyone's 'good' side.
Do you like to dance?
no. Unless I'm like...loaded.
Would you ever consider living abroad?
I am beyond considering.
Does your name make any interesting anagrams?
no.
Who made the last incoming call on your phone?
a friend checking on how I am doing in this place.
What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
probably an update. My laptop does them whenever it wants to.
Last time you swam in a pool?
Probably 3 years ago at a friends house.
Type of music you like most?
singer/songwriter. I love Ryan Adams and Matt Good. As I have probably mentioned many, many times.
Type of music you dislike most?
I don't pay attention to anything that doesn't catch me. Usually anything overly commercial.
Are you listening to music right now?
yup. Generation X-Wing - The Matthew Good Band.
What color is your bedroom carpet?
The floor is white tile..
If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do?
I'd buy a house first. I wouldn't put any money into the house I currently live in since I'm renting. In the freaking Arctic.
What was the last thing you bought?
Food. At the Northern store in Igloolik. I am really missing the days of random shoe buying.
Have you ever ridden on a motorbike?
yeah. scary but exhilirating.
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
Maybe if I lost some weight so I wouldn't worry so much about the cords.
Do you have a garden?
not since I sold my hose.
Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
nope.
What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
"Still here. Where are the cigrettes?"
If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be?
John Cusack. But I'd just sit there and listen to his voice. Food shmood.
Who sent the last text message you received?
no text-o action in the Arctic.
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
I usually do not buy with credit. But if no consequences...I guess any electronics store.
What time is bed time?
9 p.m. usually.
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
nope.
How many tattoos do you have?
5.
If you don't have any, have you ever thought of getting one?
does not apply.
What did you do for your last birthday?
went to work.
Do you carry a donor card?
trust me, no one wants my organs.
Who was the last person you ate dinner with?
myself.
Is the glass half empty or half full?
half empty.
What's the farthest-away place you've been?
Here, I guess. Arctic.
When's the last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
I dunno. Last time I tried to grow them, I guess.
Have you ever won a trophy?
nope.
Are you a good cook?
that question is still up for debate. A great cook of what?
Do you know how to pump your own gas?
of course. Do they still have full service stations??
If you could meet any one person (from history or currently alive), who would it be?
John Cusack. *grin*
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school?
nope.
Do you touch-type?
yep
What's under your bed?
nothing. mattress and boxspring are on the floor.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
I don't think so.
Think fast, what do you like right now?
Music, poutine. Cigarettes.
Where were you on Valentine's day?
Sleeping at my mother's house.
What time do you get up?
8 a.m.
What was the name of your first pet?
Cannelle.
Who is the second to last person to call you?
a friend up here.
Is there anything going on this weekend?
I think there are a couple of us going to try to mass bake tarts of some kind. oh butter tarts.
How are you feeling right now?
fine. Eager to get home.
What do you think about the most?
where to go next.
If you had A Big Win in the Lottery, how long would you wait to tell people?
I'd be on the phone as soon as it was confirmed. I mean, I'd call my family. I don't know about anyone else.
Who would you tell first?
My sister.
What is the last movie that you saw at the cinema?
The Happening.
Do you sing in the shower?
sometimes.
What do you do most when you are bored?
lurk the net?
Check out jobs in the South.
What do you do for a living?
I'm a social worker. Woooo.
Do you love your job?
sometimes.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
A ballerina.
If you could have any job, what would you want to do/be?
a writer.
Which came first the chicken or the egg?
who cares. thank god for eggs.
How many keys on your key ring?
about 10. office and home keys.
Where would you retire to?
my many apartments around the world!
What kind of car do you drive?
I drive a 1983 Suburban for work (when it works) otherwise I have no car of my own...which is really weird since I used to live in my car.
What are your best physical features?
I guess my eyes.
What are your best characteristics?
god knows...
If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go?
again, check apartment list.
What kind of books do you like to read?
anything that catches my attention.
What is your favorite time of the day?
when I get home from work.
Where did you grow up?
Northern Ontario
How far away from your birthplace do you live now?
about 3500 kilometers. Or 1.5 days by plane.
What are you reading now?
my dad's new book: The Demon Dragonfly and the Burning Wheel.
Are you a morning person or a night owl?
night
Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
nope
Can you close your eyes and raise your eyebrows?
wtf
yeah?
Do you have pets?
yep, three awesome dogs and a cat.
How many rings before you answer the phone?
depends on how far away from the phone I am.
What is your best childhood memory?
I cant think of one. Doesn't mean there aren't any, just can't think of one.
What are some of the different jobs that you have had in your life?
Cashier, call centre person, pizza hut person.
Any new and exciting things that you would like to share?
my new nephew is going to be born tomorrow.
What is most important in life?
my family.
What Inspires You?
my dad
What time is it now?
3:01 p.m
current music: Beautiful World - Coldplay
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| Monday, November 10th, 2008
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4:15 am - Insomnia, that bitch.
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fall asleep...next to me...
Well, it appears that my old friend Insomnia is back for a visit. I don't know how long she will be staying. I've always thought she was a bitch to begin with, but a very smart bitch. She always seems to know when I'm vulnerable, or when I'm too tired to think of what to do next. She springs up out of my body and my mind with party balloons and unmade plans on how to spend the next few hours in her presence.
I just hate her. I know she knows. But she keeps coming back to see how I am. Either she likes me or she's a sdist. Maybe she's lonely, too. I don't know. But it doesn't make me dislike her any less.
I'm still Igloolik. I couldn't sleep the first night I got here and I seemed to be ok the following day. But I'm tired right now. My body is tired. I had a hot shower, the usual meds and I'm still up at 4 a.m. contemplating anything interesting that comes to mind as I lie there, breathing deep and praying for sleep.
I've got a few things on my mind, but nothing that is overly pressing or stressful. My mind is mostly on the future. I can't really decide where to go next when I'm done with the Arctic. I know I talk about exotic places like Paris or New York. Maybe even Vancouver. But I can't decide where, I don't want to miss out on anything, so I skim different job postings in different areas. There are a lot out there, and so it would really just be a matter of picking a place, applying and hoping for the best. But that's the hard part: picking a place.
I know that I am not likely to put in the 2 years I had initially planned on in the Arctic. The main reason has to do with work, I guess I'm just not feeling as though this job is worth the hassle and expense I go through just to be here. So, the current plan is to stay as long as I can, save as much as I can and continue to debate the merits of one new place over another.
Sometimes I have dreams where I tell myself that they would make good stories. But upon waking, I run them through my head and usually decide against them. I had one such dream last night and had thought it might be worth a 2nd thought, but the details slipped out of the slippery slope of my mind and were gone. Shame.
But, I suppose I will see if I can kick Insomnia out and try for 2 hours of sleep before I have to go in for work. I hope I don't feel like the walking dead tomorrow.
Black and Blue - The Counting Crows.
current mood:  tired
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| Saturday, November 8th, 2008
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5:16 pm - tour of duty
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in Igloolik on business. There is a restaurant here and got to enjoy a poutine, my first since August. Doesn't sound like a big deal, but it is to me right now.
I rattle around the community in a beat up van and try to not get too lost. I can always find my way, but there are a ton of tiny roads, so getting from A to B (even when you can see it from where you are) is interesting. Work is interesting for a change, but that could be attributed to the change in scenery, so who knows.
I miss Bailey who is being looked after by his former owners. I miss his company. But I go back on Tuesday so it's not long now, half way through my tour.
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| Tuesday, November 4th, 2008
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3:58 pm - The dark is coming...
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I think about my family every day. At some point during the day, one or a number of my family members will cross my mind. I might wonder how things are going for Em at school, or how one of my nephews are faring. Just little thoughts that plop in. I took that photo a few years ago, when the boys were willing to listen to what I was saying when I said "stand still!!".
Now, though. Photos aren't coming so easily. I couldn't figure out for the longest time what it was that was different. Then I figured it out. Turns out the Arctic isn't so inspiring most days. I mean, unless you're out at the floe (flow?) edge or gliding on a boat past huge glaciers....there isn't a whole lot to photograph. Especially in Hall Beach. I could point the camera in all directions, and it would look the same. Flat, white, blowing snow. I imagine it will be even more difficult once the dark descends on us full time.
Speaking of dark. Since we turned the clocks back, I am cranky that I am sitting in the office when the sun sets and I have to have a lamp on to see what I'm doing (I abhore flourescents). It's almost dark out there! It just feels weird. And of course, the village is alive with people and kids walking around and doing stuff.
Even though I'm not supposed to be eating this stuff, I made fried bread again last night. It didn't turn out as awesome as the first batch but it still tastes like home. In fact, all I want to do now is go back to the house and eat fried bread and watch a couple of episodes of CSI. Bailey is currently upset because I ran out of his favourite dog treats (but to be fair, so did the store) and so he has to settle for dog biscuits which I suspect is hard on his teeth (I think he has lost a few).
News on the CBC about work conditions right here in Nunavut:
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/north/story/2008/11/04/nu-social.html
It will be pretty stressful for the time being. In the meantime, I'm doing my best to lower my blood sugar count so I don't go blind by the time I'm 40. I stopped drinking regular pop and switched to diet. I've also been trying to make better food choices (although I sometimes slip hence the fried bread). I don't know if it's doing any good since I don't have a blood sugar tester yet, but hopefully it is doing something. It's a day to day thing to deal with, and kind of tricky, from what I gather from other's blogs.
I guess we just have to wait and see.
Until then, I suppose I'll see you later,
G.
current mood:  busy
current music: When the Stars go Blue - Ryan Adams
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| Wednesday, October 29th, 2008
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3:09 pm - Come on Boy, don't be such a baby
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I've been listening to specific songs on repeat, again. Today, the flavour seems to be The Twilight Singers, and old favourite. The track is 'Number 9'. I can't get it out of my head. Although, to be fair, the best way I suppose would be to listen to something else. But I can't. Listening to what I actually want to listen to when I want to, is something akin to having a nice cool drink of water on a very hot day. It's just that good.
And even though I am supposed to be working (at my real job), I seem to find it necessary to update (twice in the same day). It just comes on whenever it wants to. If I were smart, I'd be updating regularly instead of so few and far in between. It comes from the feeling that I have nothing interesting to say (as opposed to right now, right??) and my laziness to pack up the modem every day after work and set it up at home.
I'm reading Joe Hill's Heart Shaped Box and loving it. Fantastic writer. It's a scary story and I'm giving myself the creeps by reading it when I live alone in the freaking Arctic. I should be smarter (but I'm not). It's
-26 today with the windchill. My truck is broken again and I don't want to eat the leftovers of the Hamburger Helper crap I made for dinner last night, tonight.
I also don't know if I'll be on a plane tomorrow morning, to go to a little town above Hall Beach (check your maps, people) for work-related junk, and probably won't know until tonight. I guess that means I ought to pack a bag. But don't they know that I need to bring my laptop, camera, books, dvds and various things ALONG with my clothing and work gear? Guess not. I kind of need more than a few hours notice for these things.
I'm also exhausted. I was fine this morning but since 11 or so, I feel like I've been run over by a truck and I just want to head straight for bed when I leave the office. No fooling around with food for dinner, no CSI reruns on dvd, no lazy hot bath...none of that. I just want the bliss of unconsciousness for at least 9 hours (yeah right). I'll be lucky if I get 5. Insomnia is still my closest friend.
Hrmm...see how much junk I can type out if given the right motivation at the right time?
Later, sweet beauties....
G.
current mood:  cranky
current music: Number 9 - The Twilight Singers
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9:51 am - I Feel it in my Blood
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I keep getting hit in the head by lines from different songs I'm listening to. They stick in my head, I use them for titles of blog entries, or for memory joggers in my day planner. People are going to think I'm seriously demented. If my stuff were to be examined by CSI, they'd never figure out who offed me...too much cross contamination of evidence.
Work is gonzo. Interesting developments that keep me intrigued, listening at the door for more information. Suddenly, I'm more interested in what's going on than I am in what I'll be making for dinner. And we all know food consumes me. Most days. It looks like I could be bouncing between two communities for work related issues, which will a.) increase the amount of air miles I collect and b.) change up scenery for my brain. So it might not be such a bad thing.
My parka arrived the other day. It's called the Resolute parka. It's by Canada Goose and a maroon colour. It's actually quite nice. And warm. I never thought they made coats so warm. I can tell that I will be toasty all winter, even in the -50 weather that's expected in December/January.
an old photo from a couple of years ago.
I got a few things in the mail yesterday. Mail day for me is always fun. I like getting stuff, even if it's pretty useless. A Chapters card came in, the Hawksley Workman album I won on Facebook, and a book by an author I thought I would try out (so far, it's pretty darn good).
Hawksley's new album is called Los Manlicious. I'm only on the 5th song and it's awesome. Reminiscent of (last night) We Were the Delicious Wolves. So snarky, nutty, cabaret-ish. It's really great. I can tell this will be an album I will listen to a lot. Very loud. It sound kind of European, if that makes any sense. It's really great to get excited about music again.
I did take a couple of new pictures lately. The problem is getting them uploaded to Flickr since I don't have an internet connection at home (well, I do if I take the modem home with me) and most nights I just leave it at work since it's easier. But I'll probably start taking it home more often just to stay caught up on the photo front.
I'm looking forward to my Christmas vacation. I've bought the ticket, planned where I will be and I can't wait for a month and a half to go by so I can be in Ontario and near my nutty family. I also can't wait to see my new nephew who is currently being hot-housed in my sister's belly (at least for another month or so) until he's ready to join us.
Anyhow, time to get back to work. God knows I'll be kept busy over the next little while.
current mood: okay
current music: It's a Drug - Hawksley Workman
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| Thursday, October 23rd, 2008
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2:26 pm - So what, no fuckin' ziti now?
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I've been surfing sites for easy dinner recipes and alternatively, Flickr for inspiration and other things. Then I stumbled over some sort of application site that generated all of the tags I've used for my photos at Flickr. It was interesting to see them. More interesting was the fact that several of the words were very large, and others very small to denote how often I use them.
As for the recipe action, I've decided that enough is enough and I can't go through the rest of my time in the Arctic by eating stuff like Instant Noodles. So I decided to look at what ingredients are available to me in this little town and see what I could possibly make out of them. I found a few recipes for Ziti, which I totally have on the brain but no actual Ziti noodles so that will have to wait until I can order them. Last night's dinner consisted of chicken, cream of mushroom soup and sour cream over egg noodles. Sounds kinda gross all typed out like that, but it was really good. And even though I had to stand there at the stove, actually cooking (and kind of bored by staring at the cupboards), I was happy that I got to eat something I had actually made. I also made some fried bread (called scone by us Indians...and remember, only other Indians are allowed to call themselves Indians) which I brought to work with me, this morning. I know the Inuit make their own form of Bannock (scone/fried bread) but I figured mine might be different.
My cooking fried bread is usually a 50-50 thing. It can go either way. I might add too much flour, or too much water, or forget the baking powder, who knows. But sometimes it works. Last night was one of those nights. Well, I thought it was pretty good.
No real cooking tonight. Just reheating leftovers, and making this mexican layer dip thing for the weekend (a non-cook dish that I used to make all the time). Also, my old roommate and I are going to mass produce perogies this weekend. She knows how to make them, I'm just along for the ride (for help and company). Seems like a good alternative to my usual laying around-doing nothing sort of Saturday afternoon.
My idea is to start cooking a bunch of stuff on the weekends that I can reheat during the week. Healthier stuff than the Instant Noodles, and real meals so my mom can stop worrying that I'm existing on rice, etc whilst living up here. Emboldened by my moderate success of dinner last night, I think I can actually make myself learn how to do things correctly and (hopefully patiently) in the kitchen.
As for Flickr, I'm trying to make my photography better and want to be inspired by *something*, anything, so I've been looking for assignment groups to join. The idea is that if I have an assignment or homework to complete, that I will be inspired to take more pictures. For instance, I haven't uploaded anything to Flickr in almost 3 weeks. I used to do it daily. I want to do it that way, again.
The weather is calling for a huge winter storm for Hall Beach starting tonight and lasting all through the day tomorrow. Apparently, 10 to 15 cm of snow and Winds gusting at times to 70 or 80 km/h which will create near-zero visibilities in blowing snow. I mostly copied that from the weather page *grin*. We already have snow on the ground here. We had a nasty winter storm last Sunday which made my entire house move with every wind gust. It doesn't really bother me. As long as I can stay inside.
Still with me?
current mood: inspired
current music: The Stars Go Blue - Ryan Adams
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| Saturday, October 18th, 2008
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5:44 pm - A Room With a View
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but I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
Ah, the bliss of a a completely lazy Saturday afternoon. I started out watching CSI, then switched to Frasier. I had ordered the whole package of seasons 1 to 11 of Frasier, so I definitely have a lot that will fill the time in the future. A hearty bacon and egg breakfast and quality time with Bailey, and all in all I suppose I have been having a good day. I suppose nothing would be different even if all of this happened while I was living in Ontario.
I know I mention this a lot.
Work hasn't been that great lately and with my usual urge to pack up and move every 6 months, I have been peeking at job postings closer to home. Or anywhere, really. Crazy, I know. But I figure it's just peeking. For now.
It's so odd to be in full out winter up here. There's two feet of snow on the ground and crazy high winds that whip it up into a soft peaks like meringue. Odd to see it when Hallowe'en hasn't even happened yet.
And yet another useless entry full of inane information. Maybe something excisting will happen sometime. But it's back to Frasier now.
later,
G.
current mood: okay
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| Friday, October 17th, 2008
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12:33 pm - you'd think I'd be too old to fill these out...
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would you like to put yesterdαy on repeαt, αnd live it forever?
no way, except maybe the last bit where I was on the phone. That made me laugh.
cαn you successfully blow up αnd tie α bαlloon?
I guess so.
whαt wαs your lαst purchαse?
probably food. I always think I might starve up here.
whαt did you do Sαturdαy?
Slept a lot. Watched dvds.
do you trust αll of your friends?
that would depend on what I am trusting them with.
morning or night person?
night. Always the night. I think more people need to be up at night.
do people underestimαte your intelligence?
sometimes.
αre you tαller thαn 5'5''?
yeth, I am. Better to be a fat tall person instead of a fat short person, I think.
do you hαve α best friend thαt knows you inside αnd out?
not these days.
todαy did you hug someone?
Nope. Well...I sort of hugged my dog Bailey this morning as we were waking up on the couch.
do you hide your emotions?
almost always.
do you prefer to tαke showers αt night or in the morning?
night.
do you think you'll be mαrried in five yeαrs?
god, I hope not...
third text in your inbox, from who?
no texting action in the Arctic.
hαve you been to New York City?
not yet.
do you think you hαve mαde α difference in αnyone's life?
maybe.
where is your phone?
on my desk, to the left.
do you need to sαy αnything to αnyone?
nope.
whαt were you doing αt 7αm?
trying to wake up.
cαn you legαlly drink?
oh yeth.
when wαs the lαst time you sαw your mother?
over a month ago.
do you prefer shoes, socks, or bαre feet?
barefeet. Although truth be told, it does depend on the situation.
whαt wαs the lαst thing you drαnk?
Pepsi
do you hold grudges?
of course, I do.
how lαte did you stαy up lαst night?
11;30. I think.
wαs there αnything you regret αbout yesterdαy?
not yet, no.
did the one person who hurt you most in your life αpologize?
yeah, but it didn't mean anything to me.
the phone rings whαt do you sαy?
At work: Hello, this is XXXXX. At home: Hello? Yes?
how is your hαir?
I'm sure it's fine, thank you.
αre you excited αbout αnything?
I'm excited about going home for Christmas. I'm excited I talked to a new guy on the phone last night. I'm excited because he made me laugh.
do you enjoy life?
depends on the time of day. Right now, Yes, its not bad.
do you hαte the lαst girl you were tαlking to?
nope
who wαs the lαst person to cαll you?
work related...boring.
where is the number one person on your friends list?
what friends list?
how mαny kids do you wαnt to hαve?
none. I am quite happy being an aunt.
αre you αfrαid to grow up?
I'm 32. yes....I am still afraid to grow up.
do you hαve α good relαtionship with you pαrents?
so-so
whαt were you doing αt midnight lαst night?
sleeping.
hαve you known αny of your friends for your whole life?
yes, but we've grown apart over the past 20 years or so.
αre αny of your friends tαller thαn you?
nope. I am the only amazon.
current music: Mattie.
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| Tuesday, October 14th, 2008
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3:20 pm - by my side, it's heaven...
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I have actually been working like the proverbial dog, so haven't had any chance at all to do my ordinary internet activities. That is not to say there haven't been journal entries floating around in my head like little story fruits. Fruits, not fishes. Fruit I can eat right away. Fish, I actually need to prepare and dig in.
Work, of course has been crazy. Today it's still busy, but not so bad I can't sit here and quickly type out an entry for your feasting eyes and brain.
Home life, not so awesome. I'm starting to miss things more intensely. Like sushi. The Vietnam Restaurant (really, the guy should be paying me, the amount of times I mention this place). I miss my nephews. I miss my mom, and even my cranky stepdad.
I've been waffling on whether or not to go home for Christmas, not because I don't want to see anyone, but because of the cost it involves. I've been lucky the past few times to catch a ride on a south bound plane, but this time, I'll actually have to pay. To the tune of over $2500.00. Depressingly, I noticed I can fly to Hawaii for that amount. And I've pretty much decided to do it, because really...I can easily get my savings back up again (the trip home plus an arctic winter parka that I have to buy for the coming winter, wipes out pretty much my entire nest egg) and the trip will be worth it, really. I just looked at the dates and it looks like I can get in almost 4 weeks of family and 'being in the South' goodness before coming back here and waiting out the dark winter months.
The parka. Ok. I bought one down south before coming up here, knowing full well I would be needing a more 'bells and whistles' type of jacket for the -60 temps that are the norm around here in January and February. So I've been shopping around. Two problems, the parkas I've been looking at aren't what are necessary up here, and I need a larger size (which I rarely see). So, not only do I never see Arctic-hardy parkas but I also need them in size gigantic.
But then I find one. Even one in my size. But it's over $700.00 and I just cringe at spending that amount of money on a jacket that doesn't say Prada on it somewhere. They have it in size Fat, but it's a purple colour, and it's pretty darn big (I just know it will weigh a ton, goosedown and all that). Which all just reaffirms my theory that the clothing industry is trying to shame/embarrass fat people into losing weight by making them wear hideous clothes. I did eventually find a place that sells them for 400 dollars instead of the full price, and after mulling it over for a few days, I placed the order today. It's a good brand, and I've heard nothing but good reviews about it, so I know at least I won't be cold when I'm out and about enjoying the -60 wind chill action come January. I guess I'm just cheap.
A self portrait I took a couple of weeks ago.
Had a good Thanksgiving. I went to eat dinner with a couple of the teachers but I ended up drinking way too much wine and barfing. I would expand on that, but something tells me you don't really want to hear that part. At the end of the night, I tucked up my leftovers on a tinfoil covered plate and listened to Matt Good on my walk home. I remember really hoping I wasn't being stupid, carrying food around with me when there are apparently polar bears all over the place. One bad dream, and suddenly the white furry bears scare the crap out of me.
Last night, the chronic insomnia returned with a very mean vengeance. I fell asleep at a reasonable 8-ish (long day when you're kind of hung over) and awoke at 10:30, not falling asleep until about 6 this morning. I got 2 more hours in before having to get up and get ready for work. For some reason this time around, I don't feel like death warmed over today. Maybe it will hit me at quitting time. I'm tired, just not so much so that I want to quit my job and go hide under the covers until the spring thaw.
So, that's it. On my menu this week, it appears to be shrimp. I just need decent seafood sauce and then I'm 'cooking with gas'. I bought another bag of shrimp at lunch time today, it's in a grocery bag hanging off the doorknob to the back door, so it stays frozen for when I go home. I can be smart like that sometimes.
Later,
G.
p.s almost forgot. midnight or early morning phone calls to people you'd never normally talk to...are usually a bad idea. Food for thought.
current mood:  good
current music: Weapon - Matthew Good
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| Monday, September 29th, 2008
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3:48 pm - where's my fish???
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I have this urge to write. But my story pool is dry. Rather, it's not dry but there aren't any story-fishes swimming around in it. None I want to catch, anyway.
I go outside and smoke furious cigarettes, kicking at the crusted snow gathered at the bottom of my office building's stairs. I've watched so many episodes of The Office that I think I've now forced myself to like it. Or appreciate it, in any case.
I'm eating my way through all of the new books that I've ordered and I can never seem to remember if I had salted my plate when I'm eating lunch or dinner. I have to claw my way out of bed these days, the bed itself feeling like it's some sort of black hole that I fall into every night. The dreams are the shroudy-things that I try to avoid like jelly fish, but they get me anyway. Stinging, wrapped around my neck...and no vinegar in sight. Ah, well.
At work right now, I'm absolutely furious with myself for not having caught a story-fish. A good one. Because I'm getting up there, and before I know it, I'll be an octogenarian who claims she's a writer when really she hasn't written anything more than a grocery list or this online journal in her entire life.
Nutty, man. Just plain nutty.
current mood:  anxious
current music: Fearless - The Matthew Good Band.
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| Saturday, September 27th, 2008
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6:38 pm
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all the words that I've been reading...
The past few days have been...interesting. I've been snuggled away in my bed for the majority of it, reading books that have arrived in the mail like little sweet presents from an unknown realm. The weather here has been far from ambient, with winds that were super crazy for about 2 days. On Thursday night, one of the towns power lines finally gave in and split from another, causing half of the town to lose it's electricity.
I could feel it giving. The lights shuddered and blinked in small brown outs for about a half hour before a quiet and velvety blanket of dark was thrown over most of the village. I groaned and placed the book I was reading over my face, asking "Why NOW?" in a pissy voice. give me that, it's my dust catcher. Then I just lit several of the hundred or so (ok, I'm exaggarrating) candles that I had sent up in my move, and continued to read as if nothing had happened.
I grew up in the North, after all. Maybe not this North (Arctic, Canada) but 'North' enough to know to have candles on hand at ALL times and that the power usually goes out whenever it wants to. What I wasn't expecting, was for the power to remain out for approximately 36 hours. Even in Arctic Canada, that length of time is stretching beyond the borders of normality. They had to fly linesmen in to fix the broken line, and the weather being what it was, the guys didn't actually arrive until early this morning.
But by then, I had dug in. I had sandwich making materials, cold pop (courtesy of the windowsill) and enough blankets to cover ten people (no, not bluffing that time). I was fine. Even when the temperature dipped alarmingly below zero, I was toasty under the covers, reading a book and enjoying myself thoroughly. It was the amount of books that made it bearable. I am really patting myself on the back for ordering in so many. The hard part was choosing which one to read, ha.
If I were 'down south', you can bet I'd be pitching a fit. But here, it's just one more thing to survive to make it to the next day. Not wanting to worry the family, I tried to call a couple of people last night but gave up after the 2nd person I called didn't pick up the phone. I figured the power would be on before too long and I'd email everyone with my aliveness at that point. What I hadn't counted on was my mother freaking out and calling every RCMP station she could find in all of Nunavut. I just know they are snickering about the 32 year old social worker whose mother kicked up a storm until locating her daughter (safe in her bed after a hot lunch at the DEW line). Too funny.
But some not funny things happened, as well. I didn't want to write about it, because I figured I'd dwell on the subject and become upset before too long. I saw the by-law officer drive by me as I parked alongside my office building (had to grab the modem), towing behind him a very puffy and fluffy dog that could have passed for a husky if his colours were different. He was tethered to the back of the truck by a long piece of yellow rope, and he jogged happily (I think) enough behind the slow moving vehicle. At first, I thought maybe the guy had found the dog wandering and was returning him to his home. But when I drove to my house afterwards, I saw the truck far ahead of me on the only road that leads to the town dump, and I knew what was in for the dog. I sat in my truck for a long time after turning it off, watching the dog get smaller and smaller as they got further and further away.
I thought about whether or not I could fit another dog into my life, and what that would look like. Or a million other things that I, as a 'southerner' could complain about regarding this poor dog, but in the end, I got out of my truck and grabbed my backpack and walked into my house.
The World I know - Collective Soul
Bag of Bones - Stephen King
current mood:  complacent
current music: Nocturne in G Minor - Chopin
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| Thursday, September 25th, 2008
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3:28 pm - it's ok to fly the flag
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how come it feels so terrible, if terribles in fashion?
Oh the wind blows. It's something like 58 km winds out there right now. It's snowing. But sideways. The wind steals your breath around here. Take a big gulp and open the door to leave your office, house, car, store or wherever because you won't be breathing normally until you get indoors again.
I hate that.
I also hate that I hit the snooze button (what a STUPID invention) about 5 times this morning before stumbling out of bed, and opening the wrong door to the bathroom. I stood in the darkened spare bedroom for a minute before remembering what I was supposed to be doing and heading in the right direction for relief. Stupid clothes, can't even assemble themselves into a reasonably attractive if not appealing outfit. They just lay there, all useless-like.
I distinctly remember wondering to myself: brown or black? Pants, that is. I chose black (It's virtually impossible for me to choose anything randomly, it ALWAYS feels like a pre-decided-upon choice). Pants, a long sleeve t-shirt, some black socks and I'm good to go. Then I hear the wind outside, take a peek and see it looks like something from Winter Wonderland, along with heavy scary sounding wind (MUST it sound like a woman in agony??) and snow stuck to the sides of my house.
I take Bailey out for his morning constitutional, and he gets to the porch and refuses to go further until I practically drag him down the stairs. At first, I was all...cool, I don't need to walk the dog. Then I realised that he'd be perfectly happy to leave me a splendid mess INSIDE the house, no skin off his nose. I know how that little bugger thinks.
I don't eat breakfast, stick a can of pop in my backpack and slam out of the house to the truck. Truck won't start for 5 minutes. I have to keep giving it gas, and pretending I like the big stupid steering wheel before it decides to grace me with the presence of a choke-filled cough that is the sound of it's engine turning over. Remember carberators? Yeah, that's what I have.
I drive (read: slip and slide) to work on the newly snow covered dirt/gravel roads and get to the office where the truck door swings open with the force of the wind...and I'm convinced it's going to break off and go flying into the sky ala Twister. But no, it just bashes back in on itself and hits my already sore (don't ask) knee. I limp into the office, unlock my door and slump into the leather chair while I wait for the computer to load up. All I want is some coffee (there isn't any CREAM) in a mug the size of a bucket, and a long sweet cigarette...but all I have is a cold can of Mountain Dew and some old Earl Grey tea bags in my desk drawer.
I look at the time, notice that it's 9 a.m. and...the air goes out of my sails when I realise I still have 7 hours of office time before I get to go home.
Then I proceed to spend the rest of the day looking for Get One! Dill Pickles which are individual pickles in a can imported from Germany by a company called Spreewaldhof. I had them once, a few years ago (introduced by Dana) and have never seen them since.
*sigh*
Double Life - Matthew Good
current mood:  cold
current music: Pledge of Allegiance - Matthew Good
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| Monday, September 22nd, 2008
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4:06 pm - what washes up.
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I use up all your forgiveness. Only Bailey continually forgives me for calling him the wrong name (usually Buckley). He doesn't seem to mind. He doesn't even mind when I change the furniture around and he stumbles from one road block to the next (he is blind, remember).
My desk is overflowing with paper. It's coming in from all sides. A form for everything. But there doesn't seem to be one to tell me when it's time to go home. Work is actually interesting today. But I'm not sure when I'll be finished for....the day, anyway.
I broke one of my only rules in the Gish Likes A Guy book. I actually waited for some guy to give me a call, after I had called and left a message. I don't really know what I was thinking, other than the fact that I have precious little else to do, and that I kinda thought I could really dig him. All this, even though I kept insisting to everyone (including myself) that he was SO not my type (he really isn't). Nuts to that, though.
I shouldn't be down about it (and I guess I'm not really) because men wash up on the beach with startling regularity. Pilots, lawyers, scientists of all sorts. But they don't really hold my interest. I'm the one that likes to be caught off guard. Not the kind to watch someone come out of the water, with a resume in their hands, and all their good attributes that steam from my stereotypical mind of what pilots, lawyers and scientists should bear.
yeah, something like that.
I'm really looking forward to quitting time today. I'm hoping a bunch of books I ordered are at the post office, and I am really looking forward to buying a new pack of socks. Cold feet and literature.
What more could a girl want?
current mood:  amused
current music: She Wants to Play Hearts - Ryan Adams
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| Thursday, September 18th, 2008
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4:52 pm - remind me once more where this is going...
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never turn your back on it...
It's been awhile since I've cranked the stereo as loud as I can take it, and listen to my favourite songs. If I even knew what my favourite songs were, but that's beside the point. It's nice to hear what I love, while I'm puttering around the house.
Semi-productive day at work today. I came home awhile ago, turned on the music and have been debating on what to have for dinner since then. In a way, updating my journal is my way of avoiding the food issue until I can sit there and fully debate the facts of what will taste better and actually satisfy my hunger monster. I'm on the fence about pork chops and salad, when I can just eat the salad and still feel full. Plus, I wouldn't have to actually cook anything. Yeah...I'm still a non-cooking person. If I were really lazy, I would just make those potato wedge things that I've been eating for the past few days.
Now, My Morning Jacket is playing and it's so nice. I really dig the guy's voice. Once dinner prep is finished, Dexter will be put on again, which I will watch until 7:30 or so. Then it's bed time, where I make a pot of tea and read until 9:30 or so. Then I try to sleep. I'm really digging the pot of tea before bed, though. Makes me feel so civilized.
I ordered this jacket from Sears last week, thinking I would need something heavier than my standard zipped up sweaters over tshirts. It got here yesterday, I was thinking cool...fast mail service for a change. But when I tried it on (and I totally got my size right), I found the sleeves rode up a good 3 inches past my wrists. Ridiculous. I mean, I know I have long arms, but shizo, man. So, I am debating on sending it back or just wearing it anyway.
Decisions, decisions.
I've been going through books like crazy. Mostly due to my extended reading time before bed, and it's nice. to catch up with myself in my head, while I'm reading something I haven't read 15 times already. More books are set to arrive soon from Chapters.
I had all these little tidbits I was going to write about, but I kind of...forgot what they were. Little things I was annoyed with probably. I've been trying to think of what they were, running the days activities through my head but I'm coming up blank. I may have to resort to writing them down as they happen. Ha. Fat chance.
Oh, I was annoyed when I tried to find Tea Party songs on iTunes (which I think sucks now) and only one album was available in the US store, which I couldn't access with my 'Canadian' credit card. I was all set to listen to old songs I used to love (and own at one point) but no deal. That made me cranky. Now, I'm going to have to order all the cds...:) see how this love stays divine
Things I want. Things I think of, when the lights are out. So sweetly painful.
Weapon - Matthew Good
Fire in the Head - The Tea Party
current mood:  hungry
current music: Oh Mandy - The Spinto Band
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| Monday, September 15th, 2008
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3:48 pm - today, today
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soldiers fill the hotels on the weekend...
It's snowing here again, today. It's the wispy, unsure kind of snow. It doesn't know whether it's coming or going. It falls in small waves, the wind buffetting the fragile flakes around like New Years confetti. I've been watching it through one of my office windows, while I attend to things at work. The appearance of snow tells my brain that I ought to be putting up christmas lights, and shopping for and wrapping presents. But my logical sense (which has been known to be faulty) kicks in and reminds me that it's only the middle of September.
Still, though. I've been thinking about starting to plan for the holidays. Not the buying and wrapping of presents, but booking airfare and the time off to go home. When I first got here, I said I wouldn't go home for Christmas. But now that I'm here, I think; why the fuck not? So, seat sales, and credit limits have been floating around in my head for the past week or so.
A couple of weeks ago, a friend and I had driven out past the village limits to take a look at the whale that had been caught in early August (while I was away on vacation). There wasn't much left to see, except for a few rib bones and the jaw bone. The jaw was angled on the ground so that it pointed towards the sky, the knuckle bigger than a basketball, completely picked clean of any flesh.
What was left of the whale, looked like industrial waste. What had once been shiny black skin stretched over a 44 foot Bowhead whale was now in tatters. It shrunk back over the blubber that was a surprising shade of orange, reminding me of insulation one puts in their attics. the bones that were left behind were scattered around, some parts of the vertebrae and others appearing to be rib bones which looked smaller than one would imagine.
I took some photos and noticed several hills of gravel marked with posts, all lined up in a row that went down the beach. I was told that is where the majority of the whale meat has been buried in order to ferment. The locals will dig it up at Christmas time. Fermented meat is apparently a delicacy in these parts.
When someone mentioned the annual whale hunt to me, pictures of the shiny black tail fin flipped up out of the water came to mind. Along with images of the body, beached on it's side. Complete. Whole. I was disappointed that I had missed this annual event, but am confident that I will be here next year for the hunt.
I just can't get the idea of the black tail fin, wet and shiny from the water, out of my mind. Like a hand, waving good bye.
Jacksonville Skyline - Whiskeytown
current mood: complacent
current music: Jacksonville Skyline - Whskeytown
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| Tuesday, September 9th, 2008
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5:37 pm - I remember you.
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you had to sneak into my room just to read my diary...
I've spent the better part of the afternoon browsing through old journal entries. I was particularly taken with the winter and spring of 2004. And so happy to be reminded of the old songs that I used to love, the songs that I still love. I don't have any of them on my current laptop, so I am in the midst of downloading again, and listening like a rapt lover...again.
And even though some of the entries, I was clearly distressed, the comments that were bantered back and forth were awesome. Some even made me laugh out loud in my quiet office. Sam made some really good ones, as did Erin. Too funny.
And it's almost embarassing to see how obvious I was with my little crush material. The things I did in my 20's...ah. Again, too funny.
But today. Today, it started snowing. I grabbed the new mittens I had just bought, which render my fingers completely useless and squashed a hat on my head and went out to start my ancient truck. Did I mention it is from 1983?? Anyway, the snow held up for most of the day, but didn't stick around. It's the time for rubber boots around here, the bottoms of my jeans get muddy because they drag around on the ground unless I remember to roll them up....which is hardly ever.
Work was work, nothing exciting. I'm already thinking about Christmas, and what to do around that. There's a seat sale on right now, and it's a bit cheaper but going home will still cost around 2500 for a round trip. Then there's the issue of my sisters and my parents living 7 hours apart. Number 1 is having another baby, and I wanted to see him before coming back. Her first jsut turned 3 in June. He's such sweetness. I love his little arms around my neck. His fake kisses and his crooked smile. I just adore my nephews.
I found out my stuff will be flying into Hall Beach. Like, finally. I've been living with 2 forks and no television. It's gotten to the point that I am doing everything from my bed, from reading to eating, to watching movies. Phone calls, you name it, and it's happening from my bed. Interesting how I've sort of centered my life around a television when all I really do is watch dvds.
Trust me, there isn't a whole lot else to do up here.
I wish I could get my entire (old) journal printed up so I could read it page for page, along with comments. That would be so cool, and something I would so pay for.
I remember everyone, but everyone has moved on, with a couple of exceptions. I'm grateful for the exceptions.
Suedehead- Morrisey
current mood: good
current music: Turn My Head - Live
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| Friday, September 5th, 2008
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2:23 pm - Limit salt, alcohol and caffeine
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ugh. I knew the health news wasn't going to be great, I didn't think it would nearly cripple me with it's weight of bad possibilities. Not only am I too young to be worrying this much about my health, but sheez...always with the hassles. I know I should stop bitching, but I'll do that later.
In other news, my old roommate and I met up with a couple of pilots at the DEW line site and ended up chatting with them for a few hours over drinks at the beach, next to the rotting carcass of the Bowhead Whale the villagers caught while I was on vacation. I had wanted to see it and took a few photos, which I will post another time. It reminded me of industrial waste. And I really couldn't fathom the size of the jaw bones. Just think, people used to use those for rafters in their sod houses a million years ago.
So, we made plans to get together again tomorrow night. But it promises to be a fun night of laughing and music playing like last week. And god knows, I'm prepared now. We had shared a sealift order of wine, ordering for the whole year. I thought I was ordering an 'ok' amount which turned out to be 5 cases of wine. I doubt I will get through it all (but then you never know, winters are long and hard up here) but it was definitely interesting. We took photos of that as well, stay tuned for the next entry.
oooh, almost home time.
current mood: headachey
current music: 21st Century Living - Matthew Good
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