my morning was, in every aspect of the word, rough. other than the fact that i was running late, my mother decided to switch her malignant mode on. on and in turbo. combine that with the hassle of tripping on your shoelaces repeatedly. i haven't been in this phase since i was 12.
i got soaked to the bone. funny, i allowed that. she had five good minutes of who-knows-where-she-gets-these-things while i sat mute behind her. those are the times i secretly wish some kind of emotional shield can be installed on human bodies. mine, especially. that or there'd be a snooze sermon button for emergency cases.
sometimes, she just says too much on purpose. it's like she drains herself out by using as much authority as she can. in hopes of hitting the maximum possible number of points, she tends to miss them. that's the downslide of having older kids -- you try to cover up what you're saying even if you can't. don't overlook the idea that reading between the lines is a skill parallel to age.
in this case, she made something obvious. it was in big bold letters, glowing even. GROW UP. until now, that reissues itself inside my cluttered head.
admittedly, i wanted to bite back.

but we can't do much about that now, can we?

( because i sink, and you continue to shape me. )

admittedly, i wanted to bite back. but i didn't.
what i had was frustration you only take out on bubble wrap. it's temporary, rinse-able anger. good for 24 hours.
it sticks to you if you allow it. but sometimes, it just fades away.

Date:	2003-11-16 13:10
Subject:	speaking in colors;
Security:	Public
Mood:	sleepy
Music:	outkast; hey ya

This journal is part of a non-profit roleplaying community and is not intended to be taken literally as the character portrayed. I am in no way associated with the owners of the intellectual property the character belongs to. No copyright infringement is intended, nor do I retend to own any part of said property, trademarks or characters. This journal may be subject to permanent suspension without notice at the request of the real person, trademark holder, copyright owner or agent thereof.

+
i'm not sure if i should put that up in this page, but whatever that means, yun na yon.

Date:	2003-11-14 18:26
Subject:	tell me again i want to know;
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative
Music:	mayonnaise; jopay

i don't remember dreams from my sleep. that's always been the arrangement ever since the unconscious mattered. the farthest my memory can go for me is a couple of scenes, usually broken.
maybe i put too much thought on the things i want so bad. too much that at night, if my mind clings to those visions again, gasgas na sila. they'd just be too loose to keep.

it's not as frustrating with my daydreams, quite candidly.
as a kid, i was a dreamer. i've planned almost everything in my head since i was about 13. normal na bata -- i had an age for marriage, an ideal family, a perfect partner. OF COURSE i had a perfect partner in mind.
those were the standards. dapat ganito, dapat hindi ganyan, this and that. those were the same reasons why i had to go through so many pity parties -- mga "why can't i have that?" or "mabait naman ako, baket ganito?" lines. i've had bajillions of drama, most especially when nobody was watching.

RIGHT NOW, in general, i may not have gotten what i dreamed of.
but i don't feel empty at all, knowing i have what i really want.

now i know why some people say you stop dreaming when you grow up.
they can say that simply because they've found peace in reality. in their hands they hold something that they're permanently happy with -- sleeping or awake.

( o tama na drama, Candy. )

and she's back with a bang.

when you're just not prepared, an argument succesfully hits so close to home.
today was a bit different. it hit home.
with all the screaming, crying, and the holding back -- only one person can make me sit my ass back down and listen, without finding it necessary to do all those three.
and even behind the frustration, i love you's not just three words. it's something meant, something definitely bigger than the two of us.

it's funny how after walking through the millions of things you've taught me, i thirst for more of your mind.
how we go beyond being conservative or traditional, and not have doubts of what we're doing.
how i know you damn well that i can write a book about you, but be stuck with a ball of solid emotions in my head.
how we get lost, not find the old way, get to the new track and live with it.
how this distance fails to stop us from growing deeper into ourselves.
how sometimes we think we forget, only to prove to each other that we remember.

i met you way back with the timing off, and the situation wrong -- it's funny how you move me in all the right places NOW. and damn it, i'm not afraid to say that out loud.

...
18 today -- here's to a lifetime.
Jayr, ikaw ang mayor. at ako? ganon parin, dahil sayo.
BUO, SWERTE, AT MASAYA. ü

SOUNDTRACK OF MY LIFE.

opening credits: aaron carter - i want candy. yes, you read it right.
waking-up scene: republica - ready to go.
average-day scene: kapatid - visions.
best-friend scene: outkast - hey ya.
first-date scene: stephen bishop - wonderful tonight.
falling-in-love scene: xtreme - more than words.
love scene: massive attack - teardrop.
fight-with-friend scene: oxide and neutrino - up middle finger.
break up scene: bonnie raitt - i can't make you love me.
get-back-together scene: bliss - kissing.
'life's okay' scene: brand new - quiet things that no one ever knows.
heartbreak scene: mayonnaise - bakit, part 2.
mental-breakdown scene: disturbed - violence fetish.
driving scene: severo - after 5 minutes.
lesson-learning scene: the starting line - the best of me.
party scene: sarina paris - you.
happy dance scene: 112 - dance with me.
regret scene: staind - epiphany.
long-night-alone scene: the cure - pictures of you.
death scene: jim chappell - gone.
closing credits: maroon 5 - must get out.

somewhere in your eyes, i see color.
somewhere in your breath, i gain an ounce of hope.
somewhere in your thoughts, i have a bright picture of tomorrow.
and somewhere in your words, i find myself.

i could thank you for every single item in my mile-long list. or possibly back in the day, i actually mustered up the right words and bowed down to you somehow.
but just in case everything melts down in time, and before i can even say it's too late --
i will burst out with gratitude. THANK YOU.

for color.
for little ounces of hope.
for another tomorrow.
most importantly, for a chance to be myself.

with you.

if there's one thing i like about being a girl, it's having the license to be hormonal whenever i want. boys would refer to it as the "one minute she's cranky, hyper the next" syndrome.
ba-ha. yesterday was shit, today's getting better.
thank God. really, seriously, literally. THANK GOD. i haven't said this in ages, but what the fazoozle. I LOVE YOU. *blows kisses all the way to the sky* (haha, o-ha. telenovela setting.)

the cure for hating the world - sleeping early. i think i was snoring already around 11. (ohoyea, my eyebags are GOING DOWN.) last night was dreamless night -- which reminds me; i have to feed my subconscious mind more porn. HAHAHAHA jas jawkeng.
surf for more of these.
HAHAHAHAHA, you visited it, you parbert you.

MOVING ON.

the early bird gets the worm, so Candy got Jayr early in the morning.
i'm the bird. he's the worm.
bird? worm? A-HA. *evil grin*
JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE. (tsk, the effects Kazaa has on me.)
seriously though, that man just cures my every bad day. he's Band Aid personified -- and to think he's the one with the band. hehe.

[ i drove miles and miles and wound up at your door
i've had you so many times but somehow i want more
+
i don't mind spending everyday
out in your corner in the pouring rain
look for the girl with the broken smile
ask her if she wants to stay a while --
AND SHE WILL BE LOVED ]

pusang hilaw. ANG GANDA MO.

you guys are probably tired of my whining.
then again, maybe some of you aren't. cheers to you then.

...
there's just so much, too much crap around. it's like the world has stopped at that level where there's this giant list of things to fix, with nothing but a single kind of repair everybody wants a chunk of.

and damn it, i'm at the end of that fucking long line.

Date:	2003-10-03 23:23
Subject:	NEW. trying to be, at the very least.
Security:	Public
Mood:	hopeful
Music:	live; i alone

¹I quit smoking. This is my third attempt probably, but it's got to be the only time I'm sincere. God is on my side, I know He's in favor of my little clean air act. Yay to zero withdrawal syndrome.

²My office closed down. Yeah, that hell hole I've always been complaining about finally bugged the woman Natzi that owned it. Comment ko diyan -- isang malaking question mark.
?
Yes. Mismo. Perfect.

³Jay? Mhen, I miss you everyday. Everyday, yeah.

Looks like I'm kissing the asphalt.
With one eyebrow higher than the other, you guys are asking -- where's the faith, funkfaith?
RIGHT HERE, MEN. Right here. *taps chest*

Date:	2003-09-25 16:05
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	sick
Music:	rivermaya; umaaraw, umuulan

HOO-WOAH. gaspirations. this journal's up pa pala.
it's been, what, 20 days? 19? 15? 18? HAH. whatever the number is, i can't really remember much. it's turned into one gigantic wooze, the day-to-day habit that is my life.

i'd be the 198073465th person to talk about Friendster probably. that thing has succeeded in eating up my time everyday. everybody got so caught up with it, even my sister that doesn't want anything to do with the internet. that's craziness and sweetness in one shot. it's 5 times more addictive than Blurty, and 10 times more than mIRC. hehe, i'm making up my own stats.
a lot of people would get ticked off if they actually closed that site down. siguro all i'd do is sit on my lazy butt and transfer to Ringo.com.
ayayai, wait. i think i've already done that. *evil grin*
e basta, calling out the others who have it -- help me cut this whole six-degrees connection down to half.

excuse this poor girl for the insanity she's just typed up. blame it on the cold. and the congestion. and the headache.
my right eye is half the size of my left, and i think i've just sneezed out the very soul of me. looking like this --> O.o and armed with packs of tissue. hold on, let me quote something appropriate.
"MANANG, WURR IS MAY TISYU?" - college blockmate
just sharing. O.o

can somebody pick me up so i can go to Zobel? PLEASE? my bands are performing tonight.
I CAN'T WATCH. pakershets. life can be so cruel sometimes.
hahaha, ang drama. it's like that thing with Kris and Joey.

my psychotic tendency has reached its peak -- to the point that it's starting to scare ME already.
i think it was the other day, or yesterday. right after i trucked myself out of bed, i found myself dancing the ocho-ocho. half awake AND in my pajamas. goodness, until now that stupid memory haunts me. HAHAHAHA, this is simply the worst case of a new-aged mental illness. ocho-ocho case of schizophrenia.
i'll give you 50 bucks if you think it's adorable! hehe.

BEH. *sneezes* that's the 128th for today.

Date:	2003-09-07 10:48
Subject:	tamad si Candy.
Security:	Public
Mood:	lazy
Music:	disturbed; violence fetish

this Sunday will be so much fun.
i will clean the house. scrubbing, vacuuming, dusting, folding - everything. clean, in the get down on your knees and get your hands dirty level.
the Filipina version of Susy Homemaker, commonly known as my mother, is flying back from Pinas on the 13th. if the house's dirty when she arrives, she won't think twice on pulling my hair out. figuratively speaking. (sana figuratively talaga. hehe.)
admittedly, i'm too lazy to do anything. i am a bum like that.

Friendster and Ringo - my two new bestfriends. beachiemix and i were on an adding rampage yesterday, pakapalan na ng mukha. Mix and i are going to be connected to every person in this world! nyahahaha - okay, labo ng sinabi ko.
nag-monologue nanaman si Candy.
anyhays, if you're on them, let me know. i will add you in a heartbeat.

maderpaker
small, small world. you guys know each other? hehe, this is crazy.
the whole time i was being ultra mushy, kilala mo pala siya. grabeng kakahiyan na ang idinudulot ko saming dalawa. hahaha, i'm gonna go bury myself alive now.
next time you see them play, say hi to Jayr for me. i'll take care of the rest. (wink, wink)

interview time, once again.
i'm gonna throw this in here to buy time. from frostgunk.
Is there one piece of criticism that you have recieved or given out that sticks in your mind?
RECEIVED: "Candz, okay ka sana, pero kulang ka sa Bs." Bs: boobs at butt. (pasalamat ka at kaibigan kita. hindi dudugo ang ilong mo ngayon. hehe.)
GIVEN: grow up. you won't feel sorry that you did.

What is your most unpleasant characteristic?
i'm paranoid. with the paranoia comes the whining.

What is your greatest fear?
regret. please get that ugly thing away from me.

What ambitions do you still have and plan to fulfil?
it's really ordinary, but i still wanna get in med school. just can't seem to rub that childhood dream off.

What do you never leave home without?
my bag, with my whole life in it. phone, keys, wallet, Altoids.

Who would you most like to meet (Dead or alive)? Why?
DEAD: St. John Baptist de La Salle. (read: IDOL)
ALIVE: Chris Cornell? hahahaha, i have a long list.

What music would you like to have played at your funeral?
i don't want it to be too sad. some of my on-repeat songs would do.
Jim Chappell, Gone
Nancita. i forgot who's responsible for this good song.
K's Choice, Almost Happy
Hillsong Australia, I Will Run To You. nobody laughs.
Staind, Epiphany

meeeeeeeen, i am SO ready to do general cleaning.
clean. fun. woo.

Date:	2003-09-05 16:59
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	hyper
Music:	hillsong australia; power of love

i'm bored.
30 minutes more, and i'm approximately 12 hours away from 1 day in the gym. magpapalaki ako ng pwet. (wait, i have a pwet?)
okay, stop laughing.

10 Bands You've Seen Live
1. Jane's Addiction (LOLLAPALOOZA!!!!)
2. Audioslave (LOLLAPALOOZA!!!!!)
3. A Perfect Circle (LOLLA parin!!!!)
4. Incubus (still LOLLA!!!!)
-- hehe, hungover parin si gaga e.
5. The Donnas
6. Kapatid
7. South Border
8. Wolfgang
9. Rivermaya
10. and of course, OF COURSE, Severo

10 Things You're Looking Forward To
1. Bally Fitness tomorrow. magfeefeeling ako sa gym.
2. 530 today. payday Friday, woot wooters.
3. reuniting with the academe. naks, lalim.
4. watching sila Jayr rock out again.
5. getting a new phone. stressed na the old one - it dies out every 10 minutes, hangs on me every other message, and has to be charged every waking day. (magsumbong daw ba.)
6. having my own "crib". hehe, crib daw o.
7. med school.
8. earning 40 bucks an hour. hahaha asa pa e.
9. FINALLY flying back to Pinas.
10. Jayr's happy birthday debut. (tanda mo na, Bubs. hehe.)

10 Things That Annoy You
1. IPIS. yakee talaga.
2. my job.
3. mga kalandian na tinubuan ng tao - flirts, in laymen's terms. (i know it's the IN thing now, but i don't think i'll ever get used to that level of being "liberal".)
4. tinga. lalo na the ones you get from pepper shells? killer black dot in between your teeth - stress yan, men.
5. paranoia.
6. idle time.
7. missing people. wala kasi akong magawa e.
8. mga chismosa.
9. biting my tongue, by accident ha. but if it's done by somebody else -- uyyyy, censored. hahaha joke joke joke!
10. stupid internet pop-ups.

10 Things You Do Every Day
1. breathe, malamang.
2. brush my teeth
3. worry. it's a sickness, i tell you.
4. think of Jayr - and wade in all the mushiness that comes after. hehe, i lav eet.
5. cuss.
6. smoke after meals.
7. take a bath. make that twice a day.
8. want to go back to Pinas. (yeah, i know. whine whine whine.)
9. WHINE. miss ngaw ngaw herself.
10. eat.

10 People You'd Want To Spend More Time With
1. that man, Jayr.
2. janina. yes, you senglots, i'm talking about you. hehe.
3. Stepay, the third half of the evil sisters.
4. the dad, the mom, and the sister.
5. beachiemix, Mica. John Mayer + Colin Farrell panty pilipit time!
6. summer_stargirl, Petch. LRT all day, everday.
7. Block L82, CEd ng Taft. o-ha, how complete.
8. Zobel pops. howiwonder, unkind - to name a few.
9. Sam.
10. everybody else back home.

10 Movies You Could Watch Over and Over
1. Titanic. *hides* it's that waste of a good face's fault. tsk, sayang ka Leo.
2. Practical Magic. put the lime in the coconut!
3. Scooby Doo
4. Rizal. SERIOUSLY!
5. Kung Pow - Enter The Fist
6. Two Can Play That Game
7. SWAT. over and over and over and over and over pa e.
8. Con Air
9. Brain Donors
10. Desperado

10 Of Your Favorite Songs At This Moment
1. Staind, Epiphany
2. 112, Dance With Me
3. Hillsong Australia, I Will Sing
4. Sarina Paris, You
5. Disturbed, Violence Fetish
6. Severo, Crying Over Spilled Milk
7. Tyrese, How You Gonna Act Like That
8. Stevie Wonder, Overjoyed
9. Mayonnaise, Bakit Pt 2
10. Jane's Addiction, Wrong Girl

grrrrlnarf. i'm still bored.

Date:	2003-09-01 12:24
Subject:	comedy.
Security:	Public
Mood:	excited
Music:	112; dance with me

the hell, man. i'm turning into a jipjapper.
*stops KA-JIPJAP-AN dead on its track* get away from me!!!!
this is not good. all the head-bopping and the crotch-grabbing, it's frucking mental.
i tried my luck by "dancing" to a couple of songs, only to make a complete boba out of myself. i'm sure i was thisclose to being mistaken as a drunk kangkong trying to dance. ang masama don, hindi ako laseng.
tsk. how unfortunate.

my dad is getting cooler every minute. somebody must've spiked his beer with purple pills or something. (hehe, i just kahdang.) yesterday, he let me drive home. not that it was an overly long way to drive, but at least i got to take the car out. my dad would keep me in a car seat IF ONLY he could. that, or make me build a nest on the back seat. he's praning like that.

ANYHOW.

went over to the Singles for Christ conference. banal-ness is kewlness! it was embarassing for the first couple of minutes cos they wouldn't let me in (i didn't have ID cos i was technically just dragged to go), but then Sammy knew most of the core people and managed to squeeze me in.
800 people. six states. one faith.
i only stayed there for an hour, but that gave me a full day's worth of contentment. funny how those meet-ups have an instant effect on me. kakaiba talaga e, it makes you wanna laugh and cry and dance and run around and spread the love - all at the same time. (i know i sound like a retard, but i swear on my momma's life it's really different when you're there.)
that was the first conference i've ever been to. and MAAAAAAAAAN, it was sa-weet.
next SFC conference, I'M THERE.

Date:	2003-08-31 10:47
Subject:	09.01
Security:	Public
Mood:	mellow
Music:	creed; one

excuse me.
i mean it, excuse me.

i have waited months after throwing that same why question to space. it's finally decided to boomerang its way back, attached to a decent answer.

...
i am not with you for a reason. you are not with me for a purpose.
all of the bad vibes must've gotten tired of all the attention i'm giving them, making that morsel of a good thing come up and reveal itself to the public. to me, at least.
i labelled you distinctively - "ang taong hindi ko maiwan". ironically, we are living bajillion of miles away from each other. but behind that piss-ass situation, there's a testimony dying to be said, and i figured it's never too late to say it.

i was slow on the pick-up. sobrang kupad talaga, it isn't even funny.
after what seemed like 10 scores or more, it sank in. completely, this time. it won't be just a bunch of words i'll use as a comfort zone, not a misconception i'm obliged to turn around for myself.
this distance doesn't spell what we both feel. maybe we aren't as lucky as the others that can use all six senses when they're together, but i realized being together-TOGETHER counts more when you're not together.
we're not hand in hand, or hand in shoulder, or head in shoulder -- but we're okay. i may not be watching your every gig, and you may not be pigging out with me round the clock -- but that doesn't take out any of this relationship's worth.

the Big Man Upstairs wanted me to leave, only for one reason.
it's because you will be there when i get back. and He knows it.

that being said, i'll just drop the bomb right here, right now.
happy 16th, Jayr. you know where my heart's at.
one and always, bionic to the bones.

Date:	2003-08-26 19:41
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	hungry
Music:	the smashing pumpkins; drown

Anawikey, you mah woman!
__silverbaby220 -- this girl rocks all the hell way and back.
+
[01] if you could learn another language... what would it be? and why?
Spanish. i obviously have a heavy knack for it. ewan ko lang, i've always seen it as something classic -- elegant even. their words seem to be so full and concrete.
[02] what is the one thing you regret doing/saying?
not saying anything when i had to.
[03] let's say you died [*knock on wood*] and you saw God face-to-face... what is the one thing you would say to Him?
SORRY, for asking too many questions, for having too many doubts.
and sorry for realizing the pureness of faith kinda late.
[04] what is the one thing you would want to change about jayr?
Jay and i, we have the same disease. it's really part of his personality na he cages everything in as much as he can. sometimes lang, he has to speak up so he wouldn't have to deal with all the emotions by himself. repression kills, and i don't want him to be anywhere near that.
[05] describe/define your sense of style.
downright casual. it's automatic for me to throw a shirt over my head, slip the same denim pants on, and traipse around in flipflops. gotta love my chinelas, men. ♥

better late than never, never never late.
woo. i love being random.

Date:	2003-08-16 11:08
Subject:	it's lolla time.
Security:	Public
Mood:	giddy

Brandon Boyd, here i come.
(sultry voice) you ready, baby? you ready to yee-haw?

HAHAHAHAHAHA labo.
okay, i missed this. this being eternal damnation masked by casual words. 48 minutes before Lollapalooza, and i'm still slumping in this leather seat doing Blurty business.
surprised? oh, don't be.

pokes everybody. there's never a day that i don't go through your lives, don't worry. feeling ko naman omnipotent ako, hehe.
meeeeeeeeeeen, the Lolla crew's ridiculous though. they're banning all videos, audios and cameras. how the hell does that work? fucking crazy people.
..ba-ha, they don't call me a Filipino for nothing. i will get those pictures, and i will post them here!
PALABAN. hayop, hehehe.

anyhoos, i'm off to Irvine beautiful people.
and baby, i missed you so much. (hugs my com-pyu-tar)

YOU! Jayr with the nice ass. one and always.

Date:	2003-08-12 10:16
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	determined
Music:	staind; epiphany

nothing really. i just didn't want people to start thinking i'm somewhere six feet under.
buhay pa ako. came down with a terrible cold the other day, and now i'm about to enter the world of influenza.
sick, very sick -- alive nonetheless.

i want to see you. NOW.
like that would make it happen. ba-ha, i don't have magic flowers with me.
asa pa ako.









aasa pa talaga ako.

it's gonna happen. and when it does, you watch.
everybody will see.
everybody, including me.

Date:	2003-08-08 14:10
Subject:	Vanya, Patty and Tricia's interviews.
Security:	Public
Mood:	excited
Music:	björk; new world

•tornapart
Who is your first crush? How will you describe him in a sentence?
Jondy Jaramillo, way back junior prep. he was a cute kid, cute enough to make me forget all the words (my vocabulary was limited to "uhhhh" when he was near). he was kinda snobbish, and he was the type of kid that wouldn't talk to you if he found out you like him.
some impakto reaked on me, so i never really had anything to do with Jondy 'til high school.
If you will be given a chance to have a one-night stand on a hollywood actor, who would it be and why?
definitely Adam Garcia. if John Cusack decides to "drop by", that would be just perfect. hehe.
Post a few lines/lyrics of your fave song and relate those words about yourself or the situation you have experienced before.
from you could be my someone, you could be my scene to there's oceans in between us but that's not very far.
that whole stretch of Puddle of Mudd's Blurry makes perfect sense, probably cos that's something i would say myself. it's part of this whole i-am-not-there-but-we-will-make-it shebang.
Who was the first person who made you cry when you were in high school and why did that person made you cry?
that.. creature. Matic, you bitch, i'm talking about you.
she'd always call on me cos i was the class president, saying that i'm not doing my "presidential obligations". sabi niya pa she'll give me a PTC (parent teacher consultation, parang violation report) for letting my classmates talk all the time, not like i didn't try hard to pacify them. i had to take crap from her everyday cos she stood in for our pregnant adviser. that, plus having Home Ec with her twice a week -- she'd deduct points from my score kasi daw i didn't "pin the bobby pins perpendicularly" or "your PAJOMA DRAP is not KOREK". mga imbentong offenses.
What is your fave tv show and give at least one situation that shows you an avid fan of that tv show.
i'm not much of a tv person now, but i remember being indescribably addicted to "It's A Date" when i was a kid. i'd always have these dreams about me being Searchee #1, tapos i'd win and Mr. Searcher would be fuming hot.
hahahaha sobrang jologs ko, no?

•summer_stargirl
if you had to eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
i was gonna say isaw, but i doubt it i'd live with getting the aftertaste for the rest of my life. hehe. probably Yang Chow fried rice, Pats. let's just hope i don't get tired of it.
trust. how important is it to you?
i never love without the trust. those two are ass to ass.
okay, let's say you do some immortal thing and lose my trust. maybe i can still technically love you -- with the feeling still there and all that ek ek, pero i'd probably just shy away from you completely and kill whatever's left.
so it's completely zilch or gradual death with me.
but on the trust issue, i'm very flexible. i listen to the reasons, and if i can reconsider, i wouldn't think twice.
hypothetically, the man of your dream dies. is that enough for you to give up on love?
hell no. if i love the guy, i just love the guy -- breathing or not.
cheez whiz ito. hehe.
a man offers you anything and everything you want. all he asks in return is that you give up your trust in god. will you do it?
ask him to lie down flat on his back, spread his legs and close his eyes.
JERK NUT CRUSHING TIME. i'd step on his winkie and break his nose.
i had the power to bring you back to the philippines. (hehe. :D) what's the most extreme thing you'd do for me para lang makabalik ka dito?
marry an American citizen so i can have my papers fixed.
you said the worst right?

•twesha
Let's say your family decided to come back for good, what would be the first thing you'd do when you get here?
ENROLL! i want my future back. hehe.
What's the stupidest-corniest song you're ashamed to admit you have in your computer?
The Cheeky Song. cheeky cheeky cheeky-a!
What are you thankful you move to the States for?
haha my salary. no but seriously, i'm most thankful for the job. it's been really stressful, but at least i get the training i'm gonna need.
18 years old with a career, baby! hahaha i love saying that.
If there's one experience from Zobel you'd like to relive, what would it be?
no brainer, the whole high school experience. nothing will ever top that. high school for me was just so sincere, lahat ng emotions were there. that's where i started making my plans concrete. i stopped dreaming big, and i worked BIGGER.
i'll leave it at that, hehe. if i start giving examples, matutuwa ako masyado.
If I remember correctly, you took up education in Taft, why? Oh and If I'm mistaken, then if you were to be a teacher, what subject would you teach?
plainly to return the favor. most of my teachers were awesome, and part of the reason is that i know how students loathe going to class everyday. i was hoping i could change that para school wouldn't be such a pain.
you could throw in a little powertripping here and there if you want to, hehe. pero bonus lang yon, syempre. i'm not after the authority -- i'm after the fun of learning.
ajujuju.

+
guess who broke the internet cos she was whoring bandwith.
olats, i was only halfway done with the mpeg list.

tool mpegs > kazaa > download completed > upload > lollapalooza.nu > ate up too much space > one conked out lollapalooza > I GOT TICKETS SO I'M GOING. mwahahahaha.

that's one messy chain reaction.
basta. Brandon Boyd, you better be ready for me. i don't give a rat's ass if we only got Lawn tickets -- i'm gonna knock everyone down from the back to the front just so you could sing PARDON ME WHILE I BURST to my face.
pardon me while i untwist my knickers and mop my drool off the stage floor.
sana lang walang mauna sakin. \m/

Date:	2003-08-05 23:21
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	lazy
Music:	audioslave; like a stone

five from unkind, you rak Paps.
Would your outlook on living in the States be different if you met Jayr there, and loved him there? Is it hard adjusting in the U.S.? If you take out the emotional aspect, do you think it would be easy to live there? Why?
it would be easier if everything started here, that i can say. kasi if we're gonna pick up things from that point, living here wouldn't be as.. incomplete.
it isn't hard to adjust, WANTING to adjust is the part that requires a lot of work.
no brainer, this country's beautiful. job opportunities left and right, perpetual influx of money -- it's easy living here. mga tao dito kasi, they know how to dream hard and work harder.
Given the situation that you can only save one and only one person from among your mom, dad, sister, [insert friend], or boyfriend, who would that be? Why?
Otay. my little brother.
You are angry. How would you confront that situation?
easy. i cuss. i'd smoke a stick or two if i seriously have to keep quiet, but usually plain profanity works for me.
You know that it will be your last meal. What would you like to see served?
Tapsilog ng Tapsi Plus. seriously, it is so good.
Describe your dream house.
know what, let me just show you. i suck at descriptions.
here you go. i want all of them, damn it.

from lucidsky.
Do you believe there is a God? Why?
i grew up believing there is a God, and it's pretty safe to say that i've had a couple of experiences that prove He's around.
What's good about living in Canada?
hehe, i'll never know cos i've never been there. i hear it's not so different from living here in California.
At what age did you discover the wonders of the Internet? Describe your experience.
12. i used to cut my afternoon classes and shotgun myself a computer in Town Center. fortunately enough, i didn't have one of those "ASL ka rin!" or "LOL ka rin!" booboos when i started. it was just the straight up iRC addiction for me.
oh yea, plus the pagandahan of the emails. went through that stage too. hehe.
If given a choice, where do you want to live and raise your family? Why?
here, definitely. only if things don't get all busted as Pinas. the States is amazing -- i swear, this country never runs out of opportunities.. and money. hehe. i'm not scared of my kids growing up to become criminals or one of them spoiled stupid stoner Americans, that part just really depends on how the parents raise their children.
i'd probably still be generally sane by then, so no complaints here. hehe.
What do you consider your best accomplishment/achievement yet, in the last 3 years? Why?
umm, probably it's this job. considering i don't have the smarts in Math, jeezass.. my grades were downright kakahiya in any subject with numbers. now that i'm in charge of medical billing, people in the office know that i'm getting our equipment paid without the training.
hahaha nagyabang ba.

( onto YOUR questions, dears. )
haha i can't wait until the "where the hell do you get your questions?!?" comments start piling up.
blurty interview tag is seriously fun. to the person who started all these, i want your brain. NOW, PARE!!

Date:	2003-08-05 10:57
Subject:	Blurty Interviews?
Security:	Public
Mood:	thoughtful
Music:	incubus; idiot box

Here are the rules:
1. Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2. I will respond; I'll ask you 5 questions.
3. You'll update your journal with my 5 questions, and your 5 answers.
4. You'll include this explanation.
5. You'll ask other people 5 questions when they want to be interviewed.

HEY! HO! LET'S GO!
send in those questions, kids. i promise i'll be nice.

give me a reason to wait, and i will wait.
give me a reason to go on, and i will walk that extra mile for you.
that, ladies and gentlemen, is love right there.