It is undignified for a woman to play servant to a man who is not
hers.
                -- Spock, "Amok Time", stardate 3372.7

A is for AMY who fell down the stairs, B is for BASIL assaulted by bears.
C is for CLARA who wasted away, D is for DESMOND thrown out of a sleigh.
E is for ERNEST who choked on a peach, F is for FANNY sucked dry by a leech.
G is for GEORGE smothered under a rug, H is for HECTOR done in by a thug.
I is for IDA who drowned in a lake, J is for JAMES who took lye by mistake.
K is for KATE who was struck with an axe, L is for LEO who swallowed some tacks
.
M is for MAUD who was swept out to sea, N is for NEVILLE who died of ennui.
O is for OLIVE run through with an awl, P is for PRUE trampled flat in a brawl.
Q is for QUENTIN who sank in a mire, R is for RHODA consumed by a fire.
S is for SUSAN who perished of fits, T is for TITUS who flew into bits.
U is for UNA who slipped down a drain, V is for VICTOR squashed under a train.
W is for WINNIE embedded in ice, X is for XERXES devoured by mice.
Y is for YORICK whose head was knocked in,
Z is for ZILLAH who drank too much gin.
                -- Edward Gorey, "The Gashlycrumb Tinies"

I had a lease on an OEDIPUS COMPLEX back in '81 ...

I'm changing the CHANNEL ... But all I get is commercials for "RONCO
MIRACLE BAMBOO STEAMERS"!