[Doctors and Bartenders], We both get the same two kinds of customers
-- the living and the dying.
                -- Dr. Boyce, "The Menagerie" ("The Cage"), stardate unknown

"Can you imagine how life could be improved if we could do away with
jealousy, greed, hate ..."

"It can also be improved by eliminating love, tenderness, sentiment --
the other side of the coin"
                -- Dr. Roger Corby and Kirk, "What are Little Girls Made Of?",
                   stardate 2712.4

Worlds may change, galaxies disintegrate, but a woman always remains a
woman.
                -- Kirk, "The Conscience of the King", stardate 2818.9

Beifeld's Principle:
        The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and
        receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression
        when he is already in the company of: 
        (1) a date, 
        (2) his wife, 
        (3) a better looking and richer male friend.

                        Get GUMMed
                        --- ------
The Gurus of Unix Meeting of Minds (GUMM) takes place Wednesday, April
1, 2076 (check THAT in your perpetual calendar program), 14 feet above
the ground directly in front of the Milpitas Gumps.  Members will grep
each other by the hand (after intro), yacc a lot, smoke filtered
chroots in pipes, chown with forks, use the wc (unless uuclean), fseek
nice zombie processes, strip, and sleep, but not, we hope, od.  Three
days will be devoted to discussion of the ramifications of whodo.  Two
seconds have been allotted for a complete rundown of all the user-
friendly features of Unix.  Seminars include "Everything You Know is
Wrong", led by Tom Kempson, "Batman or Cat:man?" led by Richie Dennis
"cc C?  Si!  Si!" led by Kerwin Bernighan, and "Document Unix, Are You
Kidding?" led by Jan Yeats.  No Reader Service No. is necessary because
all GUGUs (Gurus of Unix Group of Users) already know everything we
could tell them.
                -- Dr. Dobb's Journal, June '84