Date:	2005-02-08 21:01
Subject:	"hey kids touch your balls and check if you have cancer"
Security:	Public
Mood:	relieved
Music:	Robbie Williams - She the one

This journal is very handy when no one knows about it!

so a lot has happened since i last wrote, of course, since a lot can happen in 6+ months. I don't feel like talking about it sooo i'll write whatever is on my mind NOW! Okay, well... i hate feeling insecure all the time. I hate when I'm not sure what other people are thinking. Then again, I never talk about what I think of other people to their face either. I write about them indirectly in my livejournal. Do I ever make other people insecure. Heck, they sure do, especially if I like them. I currently freaking hate brett and perhaps scott..because they say stuff to my online and i'm like "hey, they're okay" thenn at school it's totally different. They say "we should talk" or "we should hang out." And when I bring it up it seems as if they NEVER said anything. Those two I swear to God only hang out together. They don't think of anyone but themselves. Sure, online, they're different... they're nice...but at school... I just hate them sooo fucking much. Sometimes I wonder what the fuck I ever saw in brett. Then again, I started to like him because we talked online more at school.... maybe it was meant for that. I can't help to think that Brett and I have like this Love/Hate relationship.. except we don't love each other like that. What I mean is that we're good friends one moment and then we hate and argue another. Currently I hate him. He's such a liar. I asked lucy before if she knew anyone who talked bad about me.. then she's like "hmm.. no, well, besides brettandscott" "what did they say?" "oh, stuff.. like you're critcal and you complain a lot." sure, sure, I know it's true. They shouldn't hold that against me though. I already knew that.. and it's good if you know your own faults.. but if they want to talk about other people's faults .. they should realize their own first.

Later I asked brett, "if you were to describe me to other people, what would you say" "i dunno, maureen" "would you say she was nice and kind or would you say she's critical and complains a lot" "I don't talk bad about people unless i reallllllllllly hate them, I don't hate you" fuck you! LIAR! DOES HE DO ANYTHING BUT MAKE FUN OF OTHER PEOPLE? what the fuck. I reallly hate him. "I don't tell friends what they should know" FUCK YOU! STUPID HYPOCRITE!!! He would be the best of friends with lucy if he was such a good friend. FUCKING BASTARD~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.. now, that i let that out.. i hope i won't have to write about that stupid bastard EVER AGAIN! I'm sooooo sick of ranting about this guy. Just his AURA annoys me. Just seeing him annoys me. Everything ANNOYS me: when his screen name pops up that he's online ANNOYS ME. BASTARD!

Anyway *breathes*

other than him.. and richard (ranted about him enough) everyone else seems to be A-Okay! I love them so very much! I started to have a crush on Michael... but i'm not sure. I'm insecure about what he thinks about me. I haven't admitted I liked him or anything, but perhaps it shows. I don't think anyone knows them.. maybe 'cept him.. that is if he's pretty observant, but who knows. Oh yeah, he has my cd! Erm. I wonder if he liked it - green day- international hits. Melissa gave me that for my 15th birthday<3 I miss her.

I've become good friends.. better than good friends with Lucy and Anthony! I love them so much! Lucy is going to LA after high school... I'llmiss her so much. I hung out with lucy for a WHOLLE day! I didn't even get one boring minute with her. She's awesome. Anthony and I argued a lot last year... and there was a time when I reallllly disliked him. But that all has changed now. I NOW tell him a lot of stuff... more personal stuff, i rant to him, i vent... and he accepts me no matter what. I am the same to him. He rants he vents he talks more personal to me.. he's SUCH an awesome friend! He loves when I rant! He makes me laugh. He's such a good friend. I'm so glad we've gotten closer this year.. he's a friend that I've longed for. I like how he doesn't give up on things. He's very much in love with Cynthia. And although it has been rough in that whole "lets be together" or "not" deal (since she doesn't know what she wants and apparently to scared or unsure of making a commitment) he's been pretty patient and understanding with her. It's pretty admirable if I do say so myself :) it's a shame I thought of him badly last year :) but things change and opinions change. If only people could see me that I'm not always ranting or complaining.

Mr. Gauthier has been pissing me off. No matter what HE WILL FOREVER BE A SEXIST PIG. I guess he still think that women are to fragile and weak to do a "man's job". FUCK HIM! I'm suprised that he lets girls in his TECHNOLOGY classes. An old student of his came in today and he's from the miliarty. Gauthier said if anyone who wants to join the military they should talk to him. Then he tells that guy "hey, look you should talk to those GUYS over there.. Labrandon? Mackie? Oscar? Getachew" I'm sitting there WITH them. Jesus H. Christ. HOW DARE HE TOTALLY SKIP ME. Aly comes over "Why ask all the black guys" then I tell Aly "Why ask all the GUYS!? Especially when I want to join the Air Force" ... then they all tell Mr. Gauthier that I wanted to Join. "But she hasn't applied yet" he says. "::confused:: I'm not going to the Academy mr. gauthier I want to join" "ohh, I thought you said Air force Academy." The guys, "we said Air Force". ..Gauthier: "ohh........." SOmetimes I feell that he UNDERESTIMATE women a WHOLLLLLLE lot. I feel that He thinks WOMEN can't do anything or that WOMEN shouldn't join the military because perhaps it's to hard. FUCK HIM. I hate him. He does that to every girl in that class. He UNDERESTIMATES them. He feels that they ALWAYS NEEDS HELP. He did it to Musme and Stephanie. I really can't stand men when they act like that. I REALLLLLLY CANT. TIMES OF CHANGED PEOPLE! And I do know that there are things that women can't do that men can do... AND there ARE things that men CAN'T do that women CAN. Give me a break. Women are just as capable of doing things than men.

Anyway, has kissing become LESS meaningful? or has sex become less meaningful? People are like having sex with anyone nowadays. It's pretty gross and interesting to know that some of my friends already lost their virginity. WOW! Some maybe 16yrs..or 17yrs. About the kissing thing, well... it seems that some people can just kiss anyone whether they're stangers or not. It's kind of gorss. But it they're comfortable with it.. then shoot. Could kissing a lot of people be a sign of INSECURITY?

I've figured something out with the help of my sister.. since i'll be entering UNLV with 12 credits already done.... she said I should take 2 classes over summer. I forget which ones.. but they're the "easy" ones I suppose. ANNND PERHAPS.. i'll ALREADY be a sophomore Come Spring 06!! yay!! so I will do that :D :D :D!!

Anyway. I guess this post was much needed thing to do because I can't write about this in my livejournal. And I don't want people commenting on this one.. and thats good since no one reads this! This is so handy! <3 This are things that have been boiling up in me.. i hope i will never write about this again.

Oh, and the EAGLES lost. ::heartbreak:: I &heart; the eagles. I wanted them to win sooo much. The Patriots won so many times already. And I hate it when people only like the superbown champs and that they will go for them later on. I want people to have a favorite of thier own. For me: GREEN BAY PACKERS for this wisconsin born. :D :D

♥ Maureen

I'm finally a senior! yay. However, it's not starting out well. i'm getting so sick of them fucking up my schedule. and then they have the nerve to put me off to deal with stupid little sophomores/freshmen i hate ms. samet. I really do. she has been bothering me since last year when i asked her about japanese classes at unlv. i feel really uncomfortable with her. she just doesn't do anything, fucking lazy bitch. and mr. jainchill.. what the fuck? last year, i asked him stuff about the air force academy. my dream college and on the website.. it said 'go to your counselors to know how you can get a recommendation from a senator'... then i did. and he knew nothing about it and asked ME... ME!!! to fucking do the research. god. the counselors at atech, i swear. i hate the administration!!! grr. and that fucking secretary bitch. my god, i tell you. i'm beginning to fucking wonder what the hell i'm doing at this school, it's really pissing me off.

i mean, i'm there at the counseling office all the time.. not only that, i'm the fucking office aide 5th period. yet she can't just go to me? i need my classes. they didn't give me a science or a math class... AND they gave me all regular classes. I guess it's not that important, i suppose. but i don't care anymore. i just won't go to those fucking classes. then.

anyway, now back to social life. i have been seeing friends. not as much as before though.. which sucks, but atleast i see them sometimes. thats enough. hopefully if they ever get to me to change my schedule.. that will change. hopefully. i even figured out what my schedule should be.. since i saw many of other peoples. i have been feeling a bit weird though. especially towards richard. i feel kind of bad. i just feel especially weird and uncomfortable showing anything during school. oh well, though. i don't think it matters. anyway...

that's all, bye
maureen

p.s. i think anthony's the only one who reads this... so HI!!!! =D

Date:	2004-03-13 12:09
Subject:	boo
Security:	Public
Mood:	apathetic

Well, alot has happened since I last wrote THAT entry down there! First, I don't like think I like anyone anymore. Well, there are still a few people I have my eye on, but it changed though. And since anthony you're the only one who basically knows about this blurty... if you want to read it what happened, since you still are a great friend, tell me.. cuz I put it as "private" in my LJ and i'll just give you my password. ^_^ so yeah. :) anyway... uhhh.. junior is still going well and uhh.. the UNLV class isn't so bad anymore... i thought it gave alot of work. but naw.. the only problem is that both the proffessors are picky as hell! DAMN!

I can't wait til i'm 18. I want to get a tattoo (not a BIG one)... a small 'pretty' (it has to be pretty) on the top of my back... and a peicing on the top of my ear. I was going to but i had to be 18.. but how would they know? o_0;; i look 18.. well, i can look 18. yes.

Well, I dunno what else to say.. heheh :-D bye bye

Date:	2004-02-08 19:57
Subject:	"and i know my name is simon.. and I liked to do drawing"
Security:	Public
Mood:	lazy
Music:	Linkin Park - Forgotten

I guess i'll update this for the sake of updating this old blurty.

Since I LAST updated since school started.. I don't even know where to start. haha. So I won't start.

Lets just say.. since no one really reads this one anymore that junior year is getting to be really nice... of all my years in school well HIGH school... this happens to be the best one so far :) I think I might like someone which is like never... I finally have money.. and i'm finally doing better in school. yay! Oh yeah. As of right now at this moment.. i'm in love with Linkin park. Esp the song 'forgotton' ahh. okay...

Alright so there's that update...

LATER DAYS!

<3 Maureen

Date:	2003-08-30 20:29
Subject:	The way you make me feel
Security:	Public
Mood:	confused
Music:	Dido - White Flag

Wahh.. I want my site back up NOW ~_~. I don't know what to do... gosh. I HATE having this feeling. I'm not gonna mention what it is..but i hate having this feeling. I can't stop thinking about it. *shakes fist* I'm gonna be stucking thinking about this til i go back to school on wednesday to know for sure. why? Why me? I mean I already know... but dammit. ugh *shakes fist* ERRRRRR!! dammit. I really hate having this feeling. I really really do. Ugh. It hardly EVER HAPPENS and when it does it makes me go crazy. . . >< anyway.. I don't know what i'm saying..

Anyway I don't know what else to talk about. I don't really care for my schedule anymore. I'm cheap and lazy and if they don't fucking change my schedule ..then fine those damn lazyass counselors. i mean we have like 1000 kids at the school. 1/3 (or less) of them want their schedule changed. GOD, IF THEY GOT IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED. FUCK. I DOUBT IT TAKES THAT LONG TO CHANGE FUCKING SCHEDULES. I KNOW THEIR BUSY.. BUT STILL GOD DAMMIT. HURRY THE FUCK UP. WHAT ARE THEY FUCKING DOING!?. As I mentioned above, I don't really care anymore. They can leave me in spanish if they want. I just don't fucking care. stupid them.

Anyway.. that's about the ONLY thing that's pissing me off about school right now. Everyting is fine.. all my classes are fine. I don't like the spanish teacher.. she treats us like we're babies. We're in fucking HIGH SCHOOL lady... get the picture stupid ass!!! I don't care if I stay in there though. Hella easy A. Anyway.. here is my schedule:

1. American Lit H (Taggart) If I stay in cimarron, i would've taken this already -_-;;

2. Spanish 1 (paulson) Can you believe it? Me taking spanish 1? That's what happens when your mom forces you to take orchestra for two years as your elective ><........

3. and 4. PreCalc H (natividad) This class is okay.. i know alot of people in it. so i'm all good. AND my mom finally bought me a graphing calculater. It was $89 at Target. PLUS a free $10 gift card soo.. it's was really $79 not so bad... i guess..

5. Applied Physics (Johnson) Okay, I started out with Biology H. then to regular Chemistry the all the way down to Applied Physics. HOW fucking sad. I think I should go to regular Physics. But i don't fucking care. Hopefully the teacher will let me take Physics H to get my Honors Diploma. I know kids alot of kids in that class. Most of them came from my Tech. class last year. which is cool i guess =D This class isn't so bad. Just cuz the teacher makes you think more doesn't mean it's hard. People are strange.

6. and 7. Technology (Gauthier) This class is okay =D I'm one of two girls (bwahaha...) okay no. But if course i'm known as a helpless weak female there so all the guys do all the stuff -_- *shakes fist* I really like the guys who actually give me a chance though... well sorta.. but it's kinda true. I don't have muscle what-so-ever... so I am "weak". But if i put my mind to it.. i could do just as well as them dammit!!! >:D

8. US History H (Yi) I love this class. I like the teacher. The teacher is really nice to me. I likeher way of teaching and I know people in that class. *whoo hoo* so this class rocks =D

Anyway. I'm finished. I don't know what else to do. I still have that "feeling" I can't get rid of it. I need something else on my mind. Come come guys. IM me at yummiepeachie and get my mind of that "feeling" hahaha. fucking feeling pisses me off. *shakes fist*

later days. ^^

Date:	2003-08-27 19:25
Subject:	the best of all possible worlds
Security:	Public
Mood:	cheerful

Okay. My other blog is down 'til september. due to bandwidth problems. Noo. But oh well. No one reads this anyway, but i need to write.

A-tech seems different for some reason. I guess i'm not used to the different people I usually see last year. It's crowded a bit too. -_- but no worries. I like my classes. So far I feel really good about my classes. Like The classes I felt worried about. Except Spanish, cause that class just major blows. It's so dumb. Plus I'm gonna take Japanese at CCSN so i can maybe get H.S. credit and College Credit at the same time. Annnyway.

Physics seems pretty okay. Well today it seemed okay. And PreCalc was okay too, but i don't have those friggin graphing calculaters which is a MUST in that class so i'm worried a little bit. US history is awesome. I like my teacher. And I like her way of teaching. I like the idea of writing notes in your own words, because it makes me pay attention more, unlike my world history teacher last year who just put up a powerpoint and made boring lectures >< anyway, today in Tech my teacher was introducing us to the new saw machines the school finally bought. It's pretty interesting.. hehh.. but it was outside and it's a block class so being outside for two periods just sucks. Period. but anyway, i actually did something besides standing there. Well it's not a big deal or anything, but i actually cut a peice of wood using a saw machine. haha.. i'm a dork, but of course mine turned out funny, cuz SOMEONE didn't draw the lines straight. Gr.. haha no. I don't really care.. cuz the cut was fine, the line was just crooked. ...

Wow, i'm rambling.......... (no one reads this maureen..why are you writing in here?!)........ well gonna go now.

LATER DAYS!

Date:	2003-07-22 19:04
Subject:	I won't not use double negatives
Security:	Public
Mood:	bored
Music:	too lazy to open winamp.

Waahh.. I'm so bored!! Tomorrow I think i'm going to go out with Cailtin and her friend. And I will force my mom to give my some pocket money. Even if I probably won't spend it. I just need extra-ness.. don't you think? WHO are you talking to maureen? Noone reads this!!

okay.. well ............ I think i've eaten too much cheesecake. Gosh Darnit. It's so fattening but it's soooo good. Damn Golden Girls for inspiring me to get cheese cake. Ahhh..

Ok... I think I want to close this blurty, but I don't want to at the same time. It's either because i'm lazy.. or because I don't want blurty to end up like Livejournal and Deadjournal and make people find stupid codes -_-;; anyway.. yeah

hmm.. what was I gonna say? I don't know. I forget. Soo..

incase people visit this. It is time to plug myself. Plug Plug Plug Plug Plug Plug Plug

that my friends is my other blog, because once I had to use notepad to add entries until now when i installed greymatter which inthe near future will screw me over somehow and I will lose everything...

ja.

Date:	2003-07-16 06:34
Subject:	sandwiches should not contain sand
Security:	Public
Mood:	awake
Music:	BoA- Every Heart

WOW I feel so loved. I'm so glad you guys commented! I haven't talked to you guys in so long. We should hang out...... How 'bout lunch? ne? why do I feel so hyper? I slept at 1pm woke up at 3am.. wow.. FOURTEEN HOUR SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhh... ^___^

Anyway... yeah, i'll go get my permit, once I get money again. hopefully soon. That second post I made damn it was so much rambling heck I couldn't even finish reading it ><;;;; anyway... yeah..

I had a good evening sleep last night and I took a shower and the A/C is onn and it feels sooooo great <3 wow, it makes me want to go out side and hop around.. but this is only inside.. outside it's 115 degrees even at 7am in the morning.. damn las vegas. anyway.............................. I should stop complaining about the heat

I want to live in seattle where it rains nine months a year. Wow, I love rain. Hence the Domain. Or in Massachusetts... where well, I don'tknow why, but I just want to live there too.

I can't wait til I graduate high school. ahhhh. I'm so excited. TWO years more. I don't even feel like a junior, it seems so old. I don't feel old, everyone said I look older.. but well I feel younger. I feel like some freshman again. these two years went my hella fast. which of course isn't a bad thing since my last two years sucked.. hahaha.. but yeah.. I don't feel like a junior.

I hope I get that honors diploma. I'm taking PreCalcH for that dammit. I really really really hope I do, cuz Im a havta take electronics over anyway.. and I'm determined to pass that. I really really hope I do.. I'm taking such hard classes next year... ahhh if I don't.. it'll be all that hard work down, down the drain ><

anyway... i'm gonna go now...

Date:	2003-07-15 11:23
Subject:	once upon a midnight dreary
Security:	Public
Mood:	lazy
Music:	STUPID GIRL by Garbage

Hmm.. I really like Edgar allen poe. <3

I'm thinking about getting my permit.

not really mad at my mom anymore

soon to delete this blurty.....

loves sirius

is getting into those oldies song ... <3

WISHES IT WOULD RAIN <3 PLEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LLLLLLLEEET IT RAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STUPID VEGAS! 115 DEGREES! DAMN!

LIVED HERE FOR 9 YEARS........... STILL NOT USED TO THE HEAT....................... WAHHHHH.. DOES ANYONE READ THIS??

OH EYAH.. GOTTA EMAIL.. FRIENDS

JA NE!

Date:	2003-07-13 15:39
Subject:	my underwear drawer in on the floor
Security:	Public
Mood:	pissed off
Music:	Only Happy When it Rains by garbage

Dammit... I swear my mother is pissing me off. Not like she hasn't ever... but mother fucking gawd... she was extremely annoying today...

my sister and parents and my aunt, uncle, and lola when out to eat lunch today.. and everytime I see them they usually go "Maureen the Marine"... look. I've always wanted to be a Marine not because it rhymes with my name, and not because they kept calling me that..in my mind the Marines was very elite then all of a sudden... they tell me to join the AIR FORCE.. RIGHT OUT OF THE BLUE

fucking dammit. I can't believe my mom. She made me look so god damn fuckin bad. She always humiliates me and my sisters. Why? I don't know. She's so annoying. After everything I did for her. I've been so nice to her. I mean real real nice. I put up with her. I feel bad for her because my other two sisters are so mean to her so I feel like I have to nice to her. and WHAT HAPPENS?!??! It blows up in my face. What a BITCH!! She humilated me. She made me look bad in front of my relatives.

The recruiter that went to my electronics class was telling me all that stuff that the Marines was the highest service and all that kind of shit. I know he's just encouraging us or telling us the good points and stuff. So I was telling my mom what that guy told ME! I did not fucking god damn MISUNDERSTAND the guy. I was paying extremely close attention for once in my life. And I did not 'misunderstand" that guy. My mother put me down. Stupid bitch she keeps getting in my business. She keeps jumping to conclusions too much and says things that aren't even true. God damn. I'm so sick of her and her damn bickering of how stressful she is too. She's just basically making me feel guilty. If she's so damn stressful why don't she get home from that damn casino and get some damn rest! All she does is boss me around. Just cause I was bored one night and clean the kitchen doesn't mean i'll do it all the time and be the family maid. hell fuckin no. She makes me do everything and what's worse is I actually do it. This is the last straw I'm so mad at my mom. I'm always mad at her. Not my dad. HER. She gets under my skin all the time. She humilates her children and everything. I can't stand her at times. What she did wasn't at all the worse thing she did, but still. I can't have her humilate me anymore.. and today is the last time i'll ever go with her to anything that has to do with my aunt and uncle. I like my aunt and uncle but whenever my mom is there she'll start talking and talking about marines and airforce. and she'll jump to conclusions and i have to behave ya know? I can't argue back with her.... I just can't. She does that on purpose. She knows I can't argue with her in front of my aunt and uncle. SHE KNOWS THAT. she has to start jumpng into conclusions in front of them and make me look bad too.

But besides the humilation and the extreme irritation I recieved today... I did learn that I wanted to be in the Marines because they have the TOUGHEST boot camp. and knowing me I want the top. I want the best one. I want to be challenged. But the Marines didn't have career opportunites that i've been planning to be. I want to be an AEROSPACE ENGINEER. Of course the Air Force is the best place for that.... but still... >< I know for a fact i can get in the air force. the Marines is more of a challenge for me, and that's why I wanted it so bad. (plus they have the best uniforms)

I can't believe it either. I was so happy that I completely decided that I was gonna join the Marines but now it will never happen because my family won't let me. It feels like somehow my mom made them encouage me to be in the air force.. probably because in her mind the Marines will be in the front when war comes, if she only had common sense.... #1. who in their right mind will even think about starting war with us? We for a fact have the best military in the world. #2. They won't put women in the front either. There's so many men out there that joins the marines (out of 1000 people I bet 25 are women) So of course all the men are gonna be the ones out there 'fighting' if we ever do hit war. So what she so worried about?

But still why didn't she tell me this before? She knew I wanted to be an engineer for the longest time and I've decided about like less then two years ago that i wanted to be an aerospace engineer. I've been telling her I want to be in the marines and I told her so much about it and NOW. Just TODAY. She bombards me with all this air force stuff... >< she pisses me ooooffff!!!

Anyway, so I guess no more marines and hello to Air Force.

damn people these days ><

I wish it would rain. I LOVE rain. I am inlove with rain. Maybe I should live in Seattle instead haa... but boston (why? *shrug*) is a place where I want to live too ....hmmm...