Haley

10:28pm: im queasy.

12:11am: I walked over mill avenue, on the bridge

and i saw cars coming at me

veering last second

to hit me
and snap
my leggs break,

but i go sailing
over the ledge

big arc

Crack

i hit the water hard
like concrete

no air in my lungs

no energy

i slowly drown

still very concious

10:22pm: Hope he recovers.

Last night i woke up crying.
I dont know why.

but it had to do with my friends.

9:45pm: it hurt me really bad.
knowing that this was the last time
that she'd die.

I hurt for you.










I wish i could fly away
from the problems of this world
and into a place that makes
all the ones i have now
seem really horrible.

2:25pm: how was california?

6:55pm: yeah, i just read.

RIP Lay-c

I'm sitting on my roof
which isnt nearly as good as my former neighbor's roof
and i am watching the sun go down
and i am thinking that maybe

i'd like to being each day like it does.



its the drama that lets me remember that things like people still matter.
otherwise i think i would float away on the problems of the great world at large.


:-|

5:29pm: Life is too short to play or listen to "free bird" ~ Issac Brock

give some cheese see if he likes it.

I think I feel better when my mind is clogged with other peoples presence.
and thats the only time I'm not depressed.

But Maybe, just maybe, if i stay alone long enough.
I can get rid of the pollutants in my mind.
What do you think?


i never saw the movie.

I have this splinter in my thumb
and it drives me mad everytime i try to hold on.
If only this splinter was just poetic,
I could dial the numbers


I have this box,
its a box for some sort of faucet that i always planned to put in my little bathroom
its says Danze on the front in big dusty letters
I cant bring myself to throw it away
so it sits there and accuses me everytime i viest the small room
No relief really comes.


Modest mouse. greastest band alive. name your mouse Isaac.

11:31pm: how are you liking the book?

i read it once, and it
depressed me for 800 years

when i learned that
im not a doer

so i follow.



mice are better men than any boy i know.

11:13am: once i went walking outside
just to see the sunlight
but the clouds over head
reminded me of dead
and i ran back inside
turned on a flash light
and stayed up way late at night
to read a book
entitled "how to do right"



I'm afraid i'm slipping away
everyday i meet all these old friends
and it turns out that i cant stand them
that i cant bring myself to feel comfertable
everything seems akward
everyting i say is tinged with half truth
just be sure they wont hurt me anymore
not they ever did before
i'm becoming suspicious of strangers
and funny around friends

something is about to change i can feel it.






























































































i want to get on a bus to no where.

7:03pm: seems like cox is having problems all over the valley.
mine is down now.

im here at coffee rush
alone
but thats the way i planned it i guess

sometimes i like the time to dispair
you know?


i realize that other 17 year old boys dont have a direction in life
but im gonna graduate in december
and i need to go somewhere

im tired of being the person i am
im tired of being the person everyone depends on me to be
i want to be a new person

i want to move to a small town in Nebraska
and plant a garden of flower that bloom at ten years old
i want to show disrespectful white american yankees the andes

i want to do something
anything
that isnt what i have been doing
because, franly i'm no good at it

4:19pm: i was disappointed when my list only showed a message from you i read a hundred times.

i like those satues, one i met in piccadilly circus gave me a kiss, when i tried to take a picture with her.

i feel like, i have no purpose in life, and i feel like i need one.

i hear its harder to be ignored
when wearing bright colours.

3:23am: some days i like standing still
while i watch the world go by in flash forward motion.

but i guess if you stand too long
you get mistaken for a statue;
even the birds will shit on you then

I am feeling so horrid, its not even the kind of bad that has a nugget or fleck of good
its just bad.

I want to work for a show production company, like NIPP or Sceneisdead.

2:18pm: He's small.
he doesnt move much,
and never cries.

he's the kid my parents always wanted.

I'm tired a lot lately.
and I think I want to get a job soon.
I dont really have enough money anymore.

how are things at your home?

12:58am: Im recovering from being destroyed.

I found my faith and lost hope.

I have a feeling of failing,
and I lack the will to carry on.

but day to day, when everyone is around, I'm still ash.

I love oatmeal

how have you been?

4:10pm: i once studied religion very up close.

and i still study it from afar.


remindes me of you.

7:07pm: could have asked more directly.

though, i mostly likely would be too timid to answer.

this is more comortable, like a badly done middle school play.

8:10pm: buddah came from india.

10:19pm: lies are all i ever said.

but some times they werent for you.

2:43pm: dude, no one updates this shit anymore, maybe i should

12:57pm: it was cold last night.
when i finally got off the phone.
i was sick.
and asleep.
outside, i wasnt feeling well.
it was dark, like holding your face to folded black velvet.
i didnt like it when i woke up.
there was no warmth
and i had no mother.

12:45am: boring old me got this soley so i could post in anomie's blurty.

ha.

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