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You are viewing 25 entries, 25 into the past.
15th August 2003
9:49pm:
I'm bored....so......yeah.......
I really don't think i'm that nice and ppl don't walk all over me either!
Aaron
::Which one of my odd friends are you?::
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How nice....
"You must remember this, a kiss is still a
kiss". Your romance is Casablanca. A
classic story of love in trying times, chock
full of both cynicism and hope. You obviously
believe in true love, but you're also
constantly aware of practicality and societal
expectations. That's not always fun, but at
least it's realistic. Try not to let the Nazis
get you down too much.
What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
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I love aim :)
You're a CASUAL AIM-ER! Congrats, you're
normal...or you're pretending to be.
What kind of AIM-er are you?
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blah =p
Become a nun! You are the one that turns in disgust
at public displays of affection. Have you ever
even had a boyfriend/girlfriend?
How Perverted are you?
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9:09pm:
Well i'm back from my little shopping trip. I ended up buy about $100 worth of clothes from this new store in the mall called Charolotte Russel. Most of the stuff I can only wear at band practice because their only nice clothes are all speghetti straps. Yeah I didint get a hair cut after my mom paid the clothing bill......instead though I got my ears pierced!!! Wee! Now I can be nice and pretty like all the other girls, this is my third time getting them pierced O_o the first time I got them done I was nine, I got an infection and they closed up, the second time was last year. About a week after I got them done, I was.....well....*to put it lightly*...hospitalized ^^ and they were all mean about it, thinking I was going to stab myself with them. Well after about 4 days they compleatly closed. NOW hopefully I can keep these. It was pretty funney today in Spanish, dude we have this pregnant girl in there and we have this kid, Cody Farmer. One of the jocks, and he really enjoys making trouble. He is better at it than Hollie actually. Well every time Señora Martdos calls on someone to read he will always volunteer, then he will pronounce everything very wrong on purpose and poor Señora Martdos will just be rolling her eyes and trying to put up with it. She told me her daughter went to rofo and thought I was crazy for leaving IB. Well her along with NICK did a nice job rubbing it in my face. But it's okay because even though I am not in Rutherford anymore, I can still have lots of fun (and some extra freedom) at Bay. Nick can talk all he wants about how much fun he is having but I bet it cannot compare with our 15 minute water-breaks and drum section who mocks mr. norona all the time. That and Dan-D doughnuts rock and i'll just keep thinking that while Crystal tells me about how she likes to harass ppl with the Name nick. Well anyway, after I got my ears pierced, we went to eat. I ate at the new Japanese place in the food court. I ordered some hot tea with it and let me tell you it was literally HOT HOTTTT HOT!!! My tounge got burnt because I was not expecting it. Man, i'm peeling again. Besides that mr. norona ordered me to bring a hat and wear it because i get burnt too easily. So....I bought myself a hat ^.^ it's pink and cute and i'm so glad I could find some decent clothes this time when I went shopping.
Current Mood:  indescribable
Current Music: Good Charlotte~Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous
3:21pm:
Yay! It's Friday finally. Today was kinda boring. First period, I hate first period. Why do I always have math first period? The only year I didint have it first was 8th grade when I had old man palmer 6th period. I hate that integrated math class, and spanish, I definately have to get out of there. I am going to keep bugging them until they put me in jazz band. I am not used to this laid back enviroment yet, the kid in 1st period was saying, "Let the girls wear what they want to school mrs. cantwell, Bay is known as the laid back school. No one cares about much." Then everyone was going on about how they are getting looser about the dress code like they always have been. My classes are mostly loud, except Physiology. It was funney today btw, we were going over the safety features in the classroom and mrs. vallas was saying we can use the eye wash station as a water fountain. I saw Mr. Page today when I was going to third period. I was talking with Amanda while I was walking and then I shouted out to him, "HEY!!!!! You will always be my favorite band director:)" He just smiled like he always does now and I kept walking. I feel kinda bad for saying this but I'm glad when Robert is gone, he went to Alabama to get his photography stuff so he can make us some $$$. Every time he goes my mom always does stuff with me. Her and I are going to get my hair cut when she gets home. I havint had a hair cut since Christmas. I feel confident now about my hair now that my condition is going away.
Current Mood:  cheerful
Current Music: Smile.dk - Dragonfly
14th August 2003
4:27pm:
Yay! I just got back from the dermatologist. Ha, everyone is still outside marching. Not one single rain drop today either, arint I lucky? ^.^ Yeah pretty much all the doctor told me was that over time my scalp should clear up more than it has even now. Gave me some refills and some of this really cool sunscreen. It's only a spf30 and what it does is it just literally sticks to the skin. It makes it to where you wont sweat too much and if you do, the sunscreen won't come off with it at all and it wont sting your eyes. Very cool, only prescription. Today was kinda fun because my mom grounded me from the computer and she tries to enforce her rules so she went ahead and hid the mouse....Well my mom is really computer-tarded. #1. I can function the keyboard to act like a mouse like it does on laptops by just going to the control panel and tweaking it a bit. #2. I have a spare mouse inside the drawer right under the keyboard. and #3. My mom picks the most predictable hiding places. I found the mouse within 5 minutes of searching in her sock/underwear drawer. Oh here she comes now. Toodles!
Current Mood:  amused
Current Music: Vitamin C ~ Graduation
13th August 2003
7:58pm:
Hello, yet another eventful day today was. I am not going to be in the algebra 2 class *sigh* I guess I really am a band geek at heart because I gave into the temptation of joining jazz band. No more spanish ^^ life really is great huh? Yeah it started pouring on my way back from Dand-D's and it was so funney today durring practice outside, I looked at the french horn girl who was marching in front of me and I just bursted out in a loud giggle. Everybody just looked at me until I could catch my breath. Then they were all like, "What's your problem??" the thing was, the little french horn girls hair, just a few strands, was sticking straight up in the air. It looked so funney, then she goes, "hey look yours is sticking up too!" then I just shrieked it off to piss Norona off and everyone started pointing and chattering about their neighbors hair sticking straight up. It just so happened that we were right under a lightning cloud and the static electricity was making our hair stick up. Something strange is always going on on the practice field. Yesterday when it was raining, there was steam rising from the ground. I can't go to practice after school tomarrow though because I am going back to the dermatologist in Destin. Oh darn. Well roberts son is here and there is lots of junkfood lying around and i'm kinda hungry...
Current Mood:  jubilant
Current Music: Fight song! ~ ON WISCONSIN! WOO!
12th August 2003
6:25pm:
Yeah band practice was until 5 today. I am about to eat my pasta salad that I got from dandies that I didint have time to finish because of my schedual. I finally got an audiance with my guidance consoler today who told me that the regular algebra 2 class did not start until next semester and that they only have honors. Then he told me I had to have a recomendation to get into the honors from my integrated math class teacher. Okay....I have known this lady for three days now, she has no idea of my capabilites so she can't be a very good judge. I know she won't let me because "the class will get harder" according to her. I really feel like they are insulting my intelligance. I mean I am always finishing my homework in class and everything, I can't stand this. We got our anatomy books today, those things are HUGE!!! They are bigger than our history books from last year, no joke. It was so funney today, I was walking down to the drivers ed field after lunch and all these cars came zooming in the parking lot. There was this one where the person did a 360 2 consecutive times on purpose, it was so hilarious. Then this other car was blasting circus music really loud. Finally, our drum captin came zooming by blasting the spongebob theme. Ahh I love school. I am virtually stress free right now, but then again I hate it because I feel lazy. Nothing I can really do about it I keep telling myself. Just keep enjoying life I guess. Peace outside
Current Mood:  sleepy
Current Music: Nori Nori Nori
11th August 2003
3:06pm:
It should be a disease to be this white. I got sunburned real bad again. I am going to look like i'm 80 in twenty years if this keeps up. The good news though, is my classes are so easy that I got all of my homework done today at school ^^ Yeah the Anatomy/Physiology homework is easy for me because what we are doing is studying the anatomical position, medical terms, and taking notes. I already learned a bunch of the medical definitions from biology so that was pretty easy. Shoot, I went up to Goodwin this morning with Crystal and told him to get my freakin schedual changed. It was so funney, he didint recognize me until I wrote my name down on a sheet of paper so he could yell at Browning.
"You are...Heather Sedlak(sp)?"
"yessir"
"ok....Heather you havint e-mailed me in awhile"
"yeah I know"
Stupid fat old man. Why the hell would I want to e-mail you? Go hug a tree bitch. Sheesh! I will e-mail that freak if I don't get my schedual changed by tomarrow though. You can count on that. Well tomarrow through Thursday we have practice afterschool until either 4 or 5. It was hilarious today when I was walking back from Dan-D doughnuts getting my lunch. These juniors were blasting this old 40's version of Yankee doodle dandy and it sounded just like an ice cream truck. Then of course like everyone else at school they were shouting junk out the window of the jeep. Dude I love lunch, it's so easy to go off campus to eat. Of course only juniors and seniors are allowed to do this but all you have to do is lie if one of the administraitors is standing by the crosswalk. It's not like they can tell because we don't have ID cards yet.
Current Mood:  chipper
Current Music: Stacie Orrico~Stuck
10th August 2003
5:15pm: WEEEE!!
Hello all! I am back home once again^^ School started back up on Thursday. I swear I thought I was going to drown it was raining so hard. I got my schedual and they screwed it all up. They gave me Integrated Math (aka Algebra 1 and a half), Spanish 2, AP Physiology, and band. Before school started Thursday I already had my schedual change form filled out. Yeah they really messed me up there with that algebra crap. My classes, minus Phys. are too freakin easy. I got 40 homework problems in math and they were on FACTORING. My god FACTORING!!! That is pre-algebra I think. It was sad because everyone in the class except me had problems with number 6.....x² ; x=7...........people were actually going up to the teacher and asking for help on that one!!! Yeah they better put me back in Algebra 2 because next semester I need to get trig out of the way for FCAT. I sent in my PSAT forms Friday, my guidance counsoler kept on urging me to request for extra time as part of the Students with Disabilities Act (SDA sect. 34.201.74 signed by Bill Clinton in 1996) but I don't want that, I want to prove that I can make just as good of a grade as everyone else with the same time period because what that thing does is adjust the SATs to your specific needs but I feel all different doing that. Oh well.
OMG it is sooo hilarious in Spanish, it is also a mixture of sad and frustraition. I am the only person in my entire Spanish class who can tell the teacher that Bay High is on Harrison avenue in Spanish. I asked Amanda "how far did you guys get last year?" she told me Utapa 3, before the weather chapter and after the sports chapter. Then I asked her if she ever had to Speak on their Spanish tests in the honors class and she said they never did that. That is so unfair, that was why I kept failing my tests last year. I could never get the speaking part down. Dude, the teacher was asking each of us to give her a sentance in Spanish that we knew to see how far along we were and almost everyone was just like, "Como se llama?" or "Como esta?" it was sickening. They were oooing and awwing when I said, "Bay High escuela está situada en la avenida de Harrison." I might actually keep this class if this keeps up. But then again I just had to have one of the bullies in one of my classes and it happens to be spanish. I'll take latin over the whispering and such that goes on in that class thanks. I love my Physiology class! The only thing I don't like about my classes is that they are all full of seniors. I feel so young, band is the only safe haven class I have. Friday we worked out lab partners in Phys., Torey is going to be my lab partner. You know us band ppl have to stick together, Sheleena is also in my class -_- oh well. Yeah the only thing I don't like about my favorite academic class is that we will be disecting pigs.........DUDE THE FROG WAS BAD ENOUGH THANKYOU I got my same old teacher as before and she actually recognized me. She has an excellent memory in my opinion.
Yeah so I had a really busy week with hollie. Friday night we went down to the den at Club illusions from 5-10pm to see the show they had there. I saw Karen Trong and she was telling me about how she had not seen me at school and well, I just had to tell my story again...Saturday Hollie had to work so she gave me and Crystal a free pass to Shipwreck and we spent the entire 10-5pm shift she had. It was alot of fun and around 5 I went up to get some ice cream with Crystal, I didint see a price for any of the ice cream on the signs and I didint want to ask so I kept walking and then pretended to turn around and go to the dipping dots place where crystal was so I didint look rude. Well she went by the same ice cream stand and I asked her to ask for the prices but she made me do it and I did.....then after the girl got done telling me I shouted really loud, "AH! MISSY!!! I JUST REALIZED IT WAS YOU!!" I felt so silly. We talked and she was telling me about how she hated just about everyone in IB so I asked her how many people out side of IB did she not hate and well, she really could not give me a straight answer. Typical Missy I guess. Then we went to go bug jay at his icee hut and i lost him some business on purpose so that was fun, I kept telling the little kids who came up to ask about the price of the candy that you could buy that candy for a dollar cheaper at the EZ serve so they left. Then I helped hollie finally break up with her boyfriend. It was sad because she was waiting for him to break up with her because she felt sorry for him, she was his first girlfriend and she told me, "I don't want him to have to remember for the rest of his life that his first girlfriend dumped him" and so on. Hollie gets tired of her boyfriends after about two weeks and then usally dumps them, well they were talking on the phone the night before and it was sad how dull their conversation was. So when hollie left to go flirt with some 18 year-old french guys I broke down and told her boyfriend the story. Well in the car on the way home she just had to call him up and break it off because she said, "omg nathaniel is so annoying! He was following me around all freakin day" .......dot dot dot.....um hollie, he's your boyfriend, he is supposed to follow you around. Well he already saw it coming and he isint a good actor so uh yeah, O_o
I hope all of my buddies at rofo are doing well. I really miss Rutherford, I cried over it. I think it is just something I will have to get used to though because I remember when I first came to rutherford I felt so homesick for bay. Time will change how I feel about things. OMG the freshmen are so immature!! Kristian came up to me on Friday and was telling me that one of his little friends said I had a small butt!! wtfffffffff!!! Little perverts!! They are really evil.
Yeah I have been really depressed lately about the all-county situation. Just incase you don't know, all of the band directors in the county got together and they all voted to discontinue all-county this year. Mrs. Page was the only one who voted against it. I cried and cried over that one. This is really hard for me because all-county has always been my inspiration to do better and have a good attitude about things. It has always been my favorite thing about band, now they get rid of it, just like mr. page. Yeah we saw him on Thursday. He came up to the bandroom and everyone was crowded around him during lunch, I got to ask him about the Rutherford thing and thank god he said no. I am so relieved!! Even though I did find out that he did used to work over there for about 6 months back in the 70s but that was it. Dude no offense but Rutherford sucks. They took our freakin theme song so now mr. norona had to go and make up some candy-ass crap to play because of the Stilletto incident. No one over at rutherford will be able to play that solo like tory can. Not Jacklyn not anyone. Torey rules. We made a pack, our little pig is going to be "off the chain" in other words, ours is gonna kick ass.
Current Mood:  relieved
Current Music: Mya~My love is like wo
4th August 2003
8:04am:
Ahh yes another day has come. So far I have done my usal - get up, eat breakfast, and take my shower. No one can ever tell me I need a bath, taking two a day should be more than enough. Yeah we ran out of apples yesterday and when I asked Robert to get some more my mom was like, "WE ARE NOT GETTING YOU MORE APPLES UNTIL YOU EAT SOME REAL FOOD. EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT OFFER YOU BETTER EAT SOMETHING ELSE OR YOUR GOING BACK TO THERAPY!!" golly jolly mom, she thinks i'm becoming anorexic but I don't see it that way. My tummy is far too big to be an anorexic tummy. Yeah tomarrow I am going over to Hollie's house in the evening. I won't be online for about a week because i'm going to be staying with her until next Tuesday, mom and Robert are going out of town to see Roberts son's graduation from boot camp. The good side is I get to stay with Hollie for a week and not have to deal with them, the bad news is they are leaving me Robert's cell phone. Why the HELL do I want your freakin cell phone? I hate cell phones! They are so freakin annoying. My mom says it's for, "just incase you have another incident like last year with the bullying problem, just call us on it and we will take care of it." Okay there are a few things wrong with this. #1 I don't even know the number to where you will be staying. #2 If I was to have kids throwing stuff at me again, who says this time will be any different from last? I am not going to talk to you about it, why torture myself while you throw a tantrum #3 I don't want you to come back nor do I want to use your stupid cell phone. Get a hint. Okie I have seen all of Chobits. Woo ^.^ yes now I am starting up on DiGi Charat. The episodes are so short that my downloads will be very quick. That's always a good thing.
Current Mood:  rejuvenated
Current Music: DiGi Charat ~ Party-night
3rd August 2003
12:21pm:
*sigh* I donno, for some reason I feel kind of empty today. So far I have gotten up (that's always the first step right ;)?), eaten breakfast, took my shower, and put all my clothes that have been sitting in the laundry basket all folded up away. After this I am going to go put my comforter in the dryer. There is nothing better than falling asleep to freshly clean sheets/blankets. I need to get my mom to go take me to Target so I can buy some pencils and a notepad for school. I know they will be all out of most things but that's ok, I don't have alot to buy since I only have two classes. Yay! My download compleated ^^ Now I have the final two chobits episodes to watch and i'm done with the series. Then there is episode 27 which is supposed to be a special. I will have to download that. Clamp better make another season of Chobits, with all the series they put out they need to keep up with them all and be responsible. Man i'm not thristy but my tounge has been grossly dry ever since I brushed my teeth this morning. On to my laundry!
Current Mood:  productive
2nd August 2003
7:12pm:
I stole these from candace. Hey Candace, I took that one element quiz and it's kind of dumb, I took it 5 times and got the same answer for every holiday answer......O_o
Yeah so what if the person I should be dating is an irritable bastard. He's good at sex so that just makes up for everything right?
You should be dating a Gemini
21 May - 20 June
This mate is inquisitive, entertaining and
charming, liberal, broad-minded and youthful.
Though Gemini has a tendency to be impatient,
gossipy and sometimes irritable, this twin has
the ability to expresses his or her pent up
emotions during sex!
What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
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I want some glass slippers...
You are Cinderella!
What Disney Princess are you?
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That thing looks like piss... yeah i am one horney bunny arint i?
Congratulations! You're a Bunny Hug!!
What Drink Are You?
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5:27pm:
Ahh! I just got back from the mall. This is so cool, I can bearly type! But that's a good thing because my nails are so pretty ^^ Well the mall was jam packed with people. The only place that wasint packed was the nail salon woo! We had to walk through Dillards to get to the nail place and well, mom broke down and ended up spending $120 -_- she has less self-control then I do when it comes to shopping. Well I did find some things in Dillards that fit today. Things that were appealing to me. I bought this green shirt, I really wanted it and all they had were large and xlarge so it's kinda big on me O_o but better too big than small. Well my apple diet is still working. I have lost 3 lbs so far. Good thing to because having to turn Robert down day after day when he urges me to get a mc flurry is hard. Very hard. Anyway, I got this nice denim skirt that came with a cherry keychain. Too bad neither of these things where on sale ^^;; BUT I did find a nice white dress with frilly things on it, I got it for $16, alot better then the origonal price of $70 :) My mom and I went to Target because I was having a crisis that had to be taken care of. We pretty much bought target out. Ahh the wonders of shopping. I believe I also got myself some shampoo and something else that I can't remember at the moment. The real prize that I wanted from Dillards I wanted were these jeans that I could not afford. See, namebrands feel a whole lot better than the cheaper stuff you never herd of before. To me, I feel like i'm middle class when I wear a brand new pair of calvin klines. The $50 stuff always looks better than the sale racks for some reason -_-
Current Mood:  pleased
Current Music: Chobits ~ morning morning
10:19am:
Hello there. Yeah I just got done taking a shower. I am determined to clear this disease up and the best way I know that is possible is to take my really really strong medicine as prescribed. It's this "shampoo" that is made out of peanut oil (not ment to lather). I have to wet my hair down at night, squirt it on real good all over my head, and then put the gay shower cap on. Then in the morning I after I wake up I must wash it all out real good (or else my hair looks and feels gross). It seems to do miracles as far as lifting up the scales gently enough to where they won't come back (atleast until another break out, which usally does not happen for atleast a few months hopefully). I really feel like my hair is not falling out as much anymore. This is definatly a good thing. So far all of the places on my scalp where the scale was thin have disappeared ^-^ and the places that where thick (very thick -_-) have thined down considerably. I'm so happy :) My hair line, you know, where it parts, is not tomato red anymore either! It is not because the sunburn is gone because my hair line has been really red before that. Once I get my psoriasis taken care of compleatly, I will be working myself off of my apple diet, so far I have lost one pound....this could take awhile. We are out of apples too. I want to get my nails done. My mom went to work though but she will be back in about an hour. In the meantime, my download is at 18% woo woo!!! I can't wait, yesterdays episode has definatly been the best one yet. Chii and I have so much in common. Well atleast I think we do. *sigh* my nose is still peeling, it's not fair because it HAS TO peel but when it does it either gets real sore or beet red. Oh well, i'm just happy right now that my skin condition is improving. That's all for now ^^
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Chobits ~ Book end Bossa
1st August 2003
10:53pm:
WOO WOO! GO CHII YOU DID IT! ^_^ Okay I'm done. I just can't wait until ep 23 is done downloading now.....Today was rather plain otherwise. I spent the day home, *but* my mom is going to take me to get my nails done tomarrow for school O_O woo!! My mom is being so nice! I havint had my nails done since Valentines Day when she was having her wedding. WOO WOO yeah break it down. Ok i'm done now :p
Current Mood:  energetic
8:31am:
Good morning. Yes band practice last night was rather eventful. We are having a rodeo theme day on the first day of school (which is gay compared to last year's luau) so we are going to play all these rodeo-like songs and Malcome and Patrick are going to dress up as cowboys to represent us....bad choice if you ask me. *shrug* Well then at the end of class I was asked to go into freak-cage's office and he had shown me a letter that I sent to mr. goodwin about his choice in band directors. It was funney because basically all he did was give me a lecture for about 5 minutes but it's all good. I can't wait until school starts. This stress-free life is starting to get old. I need something to keep me busy. I hope they don't give me AP Chemistry first semester. Oh well if they do though, half of my days are going to be occupied with band. I signed up for jazz band so I will be having that for 3rd period and band 4th. This will be interesting, I already got a few people jealous who are in AICE because they can't even take band class because their schedual is all filled up with AICE pre-reqs. Ha ha, AICE is crap anyway, AP is much better, and so much more flexible. All of those people can only go to band practices after school and the games, which is the worst part. I guess you can say that I am taking a semester off, I really don't want to but I really want to be in both jazz band and marching so this is the only way to do it. Next semester jazz band will be an after-school thing so I can get all of my graduation requirements out of the way like a math and english credit. That's all for now
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Tanaka Rie~Raison D'Être
31st July 2003
4:23pm:
Well today I finished up my html tutorial. I learned some knew stuff today. First I learned how to make the different color scroll bars, then I learned the secret to putting links inside of pictures in a picture. Worked on frames but I really would never use them anyway. I hate them. I like those sites that pop-up from other sides in small windows. Those are cool because I don't have to backspace a million pages to get back to the search engine. Well I just got done taking a shower. Episode 20 is almost done downloading thankfully ^^ Yeah I have to leave for band practice in about an hour. I hope my hair dries in time. UHH this is so messed up. I am shedding all over, worse than a snake. It's really annoying when even your ears are peeling -_- My garbage can was filled with dead skin yuck. Not to be too discriptive but I saw a bit of skin perking up on my thigh so I went to peel it off and like this huge thing ripped off, it was so nasty. My face is the worse part because I am peeling extremely bad on my nose and whenever I try to get it off, my nose will turn tomato red and have a slight burning sensation. Ok enough of my shedding dilema's. I feel very fat. Not only am I constantly worrying about my hair falling out but now I am also paranoid about gaining weight. I used to be 115 about 2 weeks ago and now i'm 121. This is scary. I'm gonna wait until tomarrow to eat. Getting me on a water-only diet. Breakfast was the only thing I ate today and I am not going to eat until tomarrow, unless my weight goes down. See i'm not even hungry but everyone is always telling me that I never eat and stuff so when they get on to me (especally my mom, she thinks i'm becoming anorexic or something -_-) I eat. Well now i'm not doing it anymore. It is also annoying when my tummy is yelling at me yet I don't feel hungry. So i'll go and get an apple or something non-filling to shut it up. *sigh* So much stress. Maybe i'll hear some good news about mr. page tonight. I wonder what ever happened to Darcey and Stephanie. Darcey has not been on for a week now and Stephanie, well I don't really know. I hope they are doing ok though. Ah! Yay! My episode is done ^-^
Current Mood:  peaceful
Current Music: Tanaka Rie~Hitomi no Tonneru
30th July 2003
6:13pm:
Hello, today was an ok day. I slept in until nine, which is late for me because I tend to not sleep well. I took a shower and brushed my teeth. Called mr. page, he wasint home but I didint bother leaving a message. I just don't leave messages I donno why. Today was rather eventful which is good, it took mr. page issues off my mind. I took an html class for the basics. I already have some common knowledge of html (I have my own website that I made out of it) but I just wanted to be sure I didint leave anything out. Trying to expand my horizons here. I also started reading the Divine Comedy. I don't think I like it too much. I formed this bad habit a few months back from out of no where. Every night before I go to sleep I am so worried I won't wake up in the morning. I don't know why. Then i'll start thinking about what it'll be like being dead and then I never get to sleep -_- well basically the Divine Comedy is about 7 seven levels of hell and what kind of people go to each when they die. Then it gives a description of each level. I am so spooked out now, yet I think I need to read that every night before I go to bed as a stimulant not to do anything that would send me to hell. I donno, I guess i'll experiment with it. i got to pee....
Current Mood:  confused
Current Music: Chobits ~ Ningyo Hime
29th July 2003
8:37pm:
*bangs head over a board a million times*noooo noooo noooooo!!!!! life sucks. It really sucks. I hope this is just a rumor, it BETTER BE just a rumor. Everyone was comming up to me tonight at practice and saying, "hey heather mr. page got a job over with rutherfords band didja hear?? are you leaving again??" no im not going to believe it. I just won't. I talked to cammeron a minute ago and asked him if he had seen him at their band camp or something and he didint think so, THAT'S NOT THE ANSWER IM LOOKING FOR I NEED A NO, NOT A I DON'T THINK SO!! this is not happening to me. why me? what did I ever do to deserve such cruel punishment. I am going to call that man up tomarrow and ask him myself. I am not going to get much sleep tonight i think. and for once i thought that i was going to have a peaceful summer (or what's left of summer) and this just shoves that thought down my throat. i can't deal with this i really can't. this is so depressing, i don't know why i listen to myself. i don't know why i listen to my mom. i don't know why anything anymore. my decisons are horrible. i should have just put up with mrs. brown and sucked it in but no i always have to find the easy way out of things. i always run away from my freakin problems and create more. the only good thing that has come out of this is i'm genuinely happier now and my life is full of socalization. no one at rutherford seems to want to hang out on the weekends and stuff. but see all happiness is, is a stimulant and a break from things that i shouldint need a break from. other kids can live with their lives and have to put up with their problems and not always be happy but im so spoiled. see i have been missing rutherford and this just 10folds things. colleges will look at me now and think i'm a loser and i won't get anywhere in life. i can't take a music career, i slacked off on that in 9th grade. i can't get into a real college now, i can't get a real job. i want to be really smart but i blew that. happiness is not the key in life because when you follow the path of happiness you get screwed like me and no college wants you. working your butt off is the only way. it feels like the end of the world for me *sigh* i hope hope hope HOPE that that rumor is soo not true. we can't even play our theme song this year because rutherford is playing it (stelleto) well i know and everyone else knows that no one can play that solo like tory can. ok my head hurts im going to go lay down.
Current Mood:  depressed
28th July 2003
6:50pm:
Okie yep i'm back. I am also done taking these quizzes I ripped off candace and guess what?? Not only is my nose peeling but my forehead is too! I love sunburns.....
I am not a party girl...sorry
party girl!!! and you love to dance in the wind!!
you happen to be a blossom they are cute and
smell pretty good now
-*+*-What kind of Flower are you?(For the Girls) -*+*-
brought to you by Quizilla
Well I got another one from candace but it gave me a broken picture....
oh well
You are a violet! you are elegent, and lady like.
you always cross your legs the right way, and
put your napkin on your lap. you are envyed by
many other wannabe elegent women. *gag*
what flower are you (FOR GIRLS ONLY!)
brought to you by Quizilla
4:38pm:
Sorry I have not written in a couple of days. I just had the most exciting weekend *rolls eyes* Yesterday I made my mom and crystal walk all over creation with me at the mall to find some clothes, it took me 4 and a half hours to find a pair of jeans and a top. I swear, i'm just not into these trends they have in the stores lately. The biggest trend I have seen at the mall is, a) All the stores have to copy hot topic now and sell out a quarter-half their store with "punk" crap. b) These shirts that origonated with an american eagal idea where they put a bunch of words on a shirt that don't mean anything, read "BIG FLIRT"/"HEARTBREAK HIGH SCHOOL", or have some stupid numbers on them which is supposed to make it look "sporty." Even rave lost it's touch with all the punk shit. I most guess girls have not realize what I have. You know how the whole "the preps are copying the punks to look cool" thing is going on and how it has been a very overused statement? Well wearing a shirt that has a faded looking 8, 5, or 3,051, with some stripes, and a clevage bearing cut in it, does not make you look like an athlete. People need to stop buying these kinds of crap so the 40 year old ladies who make all the clothes at Calvin Kline will attempt to make something origonal or classic. Something that does not scream "LOOK AT ME I AM TRYING TO BE SOMETHING IM NOT BECAUSE IM TOO MUCH OF A LOSER TO GET ON A REAL SOCCAR TEAM" or "I AM DIFFERENT SEE? LOOK AT MY TRASHY CLOTHES. NO ONE EVER GIVES ME ENOUGH ATTENTION SO I MUST DO ANYTHING, EVEN IF THAT MEANS LOOK LIKE A WALKING FLEA MARKET IN ALL BLACK, TO LET EVERYONE KNOW I'M HERE. EVEN THOUGH SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE DO WHAT I AM DOING I AM DIFFERENT BECAUSE I LISTEN TO GOOD CHARLOT AND KNOW ALL THEIR SONGS"
There are millions of people out there who need a wake-up call. It is the sole responsibility of the clothing companies to bring them out of a coma, since they were the ones who caused such a tragedy. People don't care what bands you listen to, they still won't care what bands you listen to if pierce every hole in your body and spike your hair green. All that does is let people know you are the desperate type and it informs them of how low you will sink to get what you want. The thing is, people who dress punk will claim that that is just their style and will try to prove to you they are 100% genuine punk by announcing all the songs by drop kick, slip knot, or whoever. Then they will call all the people who wear what they wear but don't know those songs "preps". Although it is true that preps tend to wear psudocopied clothes of everyone else (the sporty crap is another example), these punk people are so selfish and ignorant that they don't take time to look at the reality of their own situation and instead have to blindly proclaim their punkism to everyone just to make sure that we all know that they are indivduals. It's kind of like a religon only it could never be a religon because it is all so carelessly put together. Think about it, if you have ever joined or have been born into a common religon, arint all the new converters/children so much more nieve to the cause than lets say, the pope? Well duh everyone was new at sometime but god/gods is(or are) merciful and will give the people time to grow. In punkism, someone who decides that they too want to degrade themselves all for the purpose of attention will either get grilled about how many songs by the band on their shirt they know, or the 'real' punks will talk about them and make bad assumptions based on what they see and then go warn all the other 'real' punks. In other words, in this religion, new commers are shunned. Lots and lots of points I can make here to prove my arguement, which is that all the punkY people are low-self esteem attention cravers. I mean why wouldint you let someone else dress the same way you do? Because you have to keep your absolute uniquism so you stand out in the crowd.
People are so shallow, they need to think about the reality in there purpose. I mean really think. If you can't do that then it degrades the impression of you even more. I can tell you every single song that good charlote and flogging mollys wrote. I know that you don't care though and it's ok if i'm not unique, it is kinda hard to be unique in a world full of 7 billion people. I like attention, everyone does. Some of us have gained enough logic sense to see through that when you try too hard it does not work and you end up making a fool out of yourself. Even if it takes a few years, (doctors make alot of money off of tattoo removal operations from the 70s trend of being different ya know) all these punk people will realize their stupidity and all the time, money, and emotions wasted on a cause that is a paradox of itself. The only people who beneifit from all of this is greedy corperations who don't give a damn about anyone as long as they can have that 42' TV instead of the 38' one. In a sense, their personalities rub off thier customers....
My main point is, through all of this garble of space, I was pissed off yesterday when I went everywhere and back looking for some school clothes and all I found was crap. I could have been doing other things like taking Robert to the emergancey room when he was in pain from a kidney stone. These big greedy corperations have so much power over me, there is nothing I can really do. ALL of the clothing companies that carry my size are selling this crap and I have to put up with whatever they make. I'm hungry and I can't think anymore, my tummy is yelling at me O_o
Current Mood:  hungry
Current Music: Chobits op. ~ Let me be with you
25th July 2003
6:11pm:
Ok today was very uneventful since my mom would not let me go to band camp *oh darn* I did not get to march in the freakin sun and listen to someone giving orders. Oww I still have a sunburn really bad :'( good news is my psoriasis is clearing up and my hair isint falling out anymore ^^ thank God for that. Ok Crystal is in the other room trying to play tenor and she keeps squeaking and it's starting to get to me. I think i'm starting to get irritable with my mom and crystal lately. I dunno I don't think my medicine is working anymore....my mom keeps comming in here every 5 minutes and going "are you ok??" it is bugging the crap out of me because she thinks im going psycho or something and I just want to tell her to shut up, it pisses me off how little faith she has in me as a person to do anything. I really hate her sometimes. Crystal is bugging me too. We were trying to figure out where to go to eat and crystal keeps on saying when I ask her, "I don't care" it is really pissing me off. I wish she would just pick a freakin place and shut up with her squeaking. I don't like getting mad like this it is annoying and I hate it and errr I just want to scream in someones face. I'm better then that though so i'll just keep to myself and let everyone know that i'm not annoyed or pissed off at anyone and keep the peace.
Current Mood:  annoyed
24th July 2003
8:00pm:
Dude the bottom of my body is burning up and the top has the chills. I was so stupid and I forgot my sunscreen today. Well going for many hours in the sun, being white, and marching was enough to give me sun poisoning. Yeah I feel really good at the moment. So good that I have a headache and my face is red as a tomato. My face got burnt the worse everyone tells me but I must say that I my legs feel the worst burnt. I have been constantly applying aloe very for the past 5 hours and it keeps desinagrating on my legs and turning into green fuzzy things...well my mom told me i'm not allowed to go to band camp tomarrow and I have to go to the doctor to see what I can do about the blistering. I not only got burnt on my face and legs but also on my arms, scalp, and ears. I don't think I would have put sunscreen on my ears so that would not have been prevented anyway. As long as it is not my back like last time. I could bearly sleep when I had that trecherous sunburn on my back. I have a really bad headache and i'm tired so i'm going to go lay down. I don't think Crystal and I are going to be friends for too much longer. I told her today that I was reconsidering my friendship. See we made a promise in 7th grade that we would tell each other everything and lately she has been keeping secrets with me, I don't think that is fair at all since I tell her all of mine. She does not ever support me anymore either because she has turned into a goody two shoe. She is trying to be perfect or something by not holding grudges, never swearing(which i can deal with), and not hating on people. Everytime I call someone a name when i'm mad and at home and feel like insulting people I don't like she will always be like, "that's not nice" I just want to tell her to shut up because I am feeling bad and she is making it worse. She tries to change peoples personalities and when I confronted her about it she told me, "If I try to change their personalities for the better then I think it's ok to do so." no you don't try to change people because you can't accept them for having their own opinons. It is never right to try and change someone, I know how it feels and i can tell you it's not pretty. It's ok though because me and Hollie are possies again *according to Derek LOL* I am so tired.....zZzZz
Current Mood:  predatory
22nd July 2003
6:27pm:
Heh heh today was pretty fun. It started to rain durring practice today so everyone just went running/driving back to the band room and once it stopped thundering and lightning we went back out and marched in the rain. It was soooo much better than the sun. I like cold more than hot so when I was soaking wet and stealing Lindseys' cap the wind was keeping me freakin cold. It was all good though because when it was bad and we were inside playing Mr. buttpirate took all the brass because he likes to worship the freakin tuba just because he played it. All of the woodwinds got the love of Miss Hemert (yeah I think that's spelt right) we went into the chorus room and worked on all of our songs. We finally got to the show today while it was raining. Shelleena, our drum major, was totally getting her black on. She is so less disciplined then Danielle was last year. When black guys would be hooting and hollering at her from a nearby pimp mobile (aka junked up beauwick) she would be waving and crap and then when we were with miss hemert and miss hemert was telling us about how we make the brass look good because all they know how to do is make loud noises, shelleena was behind her and making all these motions and "uh huh" in a black way uhhhhhh shelleena! Dude this is so funney, every time I get on one of my thousand screen names, I always see benotnopenguin on them yet he won't be on the one I really use so I keep asking him "howdy jon! why didcha block me?" and he will block all my screen names. thilly jon! Man my sunburn, the part on my back, hurts sooo bad!! Ok i'm done now.
Current Mood:  sore
21st July 2003
6:01pm:
UHHHHH OMG I HAVE SKIN CANCER!!!!! Well I think I do anyway, today I put on this spf 70 sunblock and I guess it does not do wonders for people who have no pigment in their skin because I got burnt so bad today. This new guy we have for a director, I must say, is a bitch. See when we had Mr. Page directing he gave us NORMAL hours for band camp. Marching would be done from 7 - 11:30 and if we were good and did not complain much then he would let us out 10 minutes early. This crap head did not even start on our show today like a dumbass, ALL we did the WHOLE day was marching fundementals. We were outside not only from 7-NOON but then he made us go back out there after we had a sectional and march more from 3:00 - 4:00.....fruit. He also needs to learn that not everyone is as perfect as Torey Raspberry and we can't all sightread 32nd notes going at 140. He needs to SLOW DOWN but no we are all perfect and we are just being lazy...i'm glad miss Hemert (mrs. page's new name) was there to keep me going. Oh well I will be prepared tomarrow and if I get too tired i'll use my red face as an excuse to go sit down. Well Crystal is over here, which is also why I did not post yesterday. She is going to be staying with me for a week so we will have lots of fun.
Current Mood:  tired
Current Music: Listening to Crystal talk
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