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Tuesday, January 27th, 2004
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11:14p - 'tis been a while hasn't it?
Well it's been a while since my last update haha...you know...I always seem to say that everytime I start an entry...have you noticed? probably not. Not many people probably read this anymore, but ah well. Not a whole lot has happened since my last post, just been dealin' with some shit with friends and other problems. Nothing I can't handle I suppose. This past weekend was senior formal. That was fun I suppose, it all started off well anyways. There was just too much drama and crap that went on. I swear..if the formal is gonna be anything like the prom, then i'm not going. I hate how like when I go to a dance, there's always some sort of drama. Which...there really is. If you don't beleive me, you can talk to me and ask me, I just don't want to post it here. But like I said, it was all ok, except I don't think my date had a good time which I was hoping she would, cause we don't get to do a whole lot together, and we were trying to date for a while, but that's not going so well either cause we're not really going anywhere with that. She's always doin' something else, which is fine, plus she's still hung up on the "too good of friends" thing, which sucks cause I wouldn't mind her being my girlfriend, but I guess it'd just be too awkward for her. I hate it. I told myself that i'd never let this happen to me again, but I did. I hate it how I always get my hopes up too. But oh well. I'm used to it by now I suppose. I just hate how she thinks that i'm oblvious to a lot of things. I guess she thinks that I don't pay attention, but I know more than she thinks I know. There's so much I'd like to tell her, but I can't seem to find the right words to express it, and I think that if I got it out in the open, it'd help things a lot. Things might not turn out like I want it too, but I think i'd feel better about myself in the end. I guess I just feel that there's a lot I haven't told her that I feel I should. But I just don't know how to say it. It was probably a bad idea to even tell her how I felt to begin with anyways, I dunno why I even bothered. Sometimes I wonder if I even still have a chance. So far, i've just been kinda sitting back and letting things take there course cause quite honestly, I don't know what else to do. I am at a complete loss right now. Plus I dunno if I am just jumping to conclusions or what...I probably am, but oh well. I guess that's just what I do to keep myself from trying to get hurt again, but it really doesn't matter. You can't ever really keep yourself from getting hurt no matter what you do. Anyways, I'm going to end this entry for tonight and go think about some things. Later.
current mood:  contemplative (1 comment |comment on this)
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