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Friday, September 5th, 2003
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3:25p - Hmm...
Well, today was slightly better. Except that I woke up this morning and my sister was complaining and being a pain again like she has been for the past few months. I dunno what her problem is. I wish I could figure it out so I could fix it. I swear. She treats me like im nothing to her. Then she keeps blaming my mother for the way that she acts. So then it makes my mom feel bad. Im tired of it. Quite frankly, at this point i've stopped trying to get through to her and talk to her. She made me really mad last time I talked to her. I got so mad I just left and went for a walk for an hour. The only reason I try and reconcile with her anymore is for my mom's sake. No one else's. Like I said, at this point, if she were to not talk to me for the rest of her life, i'd be fine with it. Im tired of her crap. I know that sounds assholish and mean, but none of you would understand the way she acts. I thought that she was getting better this week cause nothing much had happened, especially since I walked out that one time...but I was wrong. I can't wait till college because if I can help it, im going to move out and live somewhere else. I'll get an apartment with a friend, or live in the dorms somewhere if she doesn't get better.
Today was a bit better though because I worked some things out with my friends, but half of'em didn't know what was goin' on really cause they didnt read the aformentioned post. So perhaps you should look at that. Soemtimes I wonder if I should get mad, or if I should just let it slide. I dunno. Sometimes I wonder if it's just me, if i'm being too stupid or something. I dunno, I know that wasn't the right word, but you know what im saying. I mean I think im usually pretty good about that stuff, and I too, make jokes about people, but I dunno sometimes it just gets to me. So i've been thinking since last night if I was in the right for all that or not, im not sure if I was or not. I hate it when stuff like this happens cause then I think that all my friends will think they can't joke around with me anymore, and I don't want them to think that. I do want them to joke around with me, I dunno. Maybe it's just the fact that they've carried some of there jokes on long enough, like the vibrator one (don't ask if you don't know). It was funny, i'll admit that, but some of them carried it way into the ground to where it annoyed me. Like I said before, and this I know sounds corny, but you really wouldn't like me when im angry. Those of you that know him, can ask my friend George. He'll tell you. Anyways, Im gonna go see if I can find something to do tonight. There's a football game at school tonight, maybe i'll go to that if I can get some peopel to go with.
current mood:  calm (comment on this)
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