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stooshumski @ 10:46pm: new twilight trailer - amazing.

other than the part where they're up in the trees. wtf?
edward doesn't strike me as a tree climber.

stooshumski @ 10:19pm: the good friends back, and that makes me happy.
i'm ready to go home.

darkrainbow @ 1:52am: Kinda depressed lately..
I feel very shut down again emotionally. I don't have anyone to talk to here. Except for as pathetic as it sounds a select few people that I play WoW with. Mostly just this one guy. His name is Mich in real life and I talk to him everyday for abotu a yr and a half now. I think I feel I can talk to him better than most people I talk to on vent b/c (1) he is gay so he wont ever hit on me and is more in touch with his feelings than straight men and (2) he is mature. Sounds so stupid to have a friendship over the internet but then again its like pen pals with voice communication. If that makes sense lol. Anyway Dave and I don't talk much and I feel like when I do talk to him I just annoy him or he gets angry with me. Also sometimes I feel like I can't do anything right. I'll do something and it seems like he always finds something wrong or something I could have done better. I know I am not perfect either but I miss how we were when we were dating. Or even when we first got married. Sometimes I just don't feel that connection anymore and its sad. I love him.. I do.. But sometimes I feel so empty.. It's hard to explain. We went out this past weekend and I met Crystal who is dating my friend's ex husband Chris who we knew in Germany. And this girl didn't even know us for more than an hr when she said something that made me shocked yet kinda helped me realize I'm not crazy.. She said "I may be out of line here b/c we just met but u are a nice girl and I'm very honest about things so I am just gunna say it. Why do u let him talk to u like the way he does??" I didn't know how to answer b/c I don't have one.. But for someone to realize he isn't respectful or nice to me when we just met makes me feel embarassed in a way and a little less like its just me and that I make things worse than they are really... I really need to get back on Zoloft after my surgery. I think it will help me feel more balanced.. I need to feel normal again. I hate feeling lost, empty, and alone.

darkrainbow @ 1:49am: Bulletproof-Kerli
"Just a simple touch,
Just a little glance
Makes me feel like flyin'.
But where are you tonight?
Something isn't right,
Can you please stop hiding?

I'm trying not to think about
All the things you did before,
But sometimes it all just gets to me.
I can't take it anymore.
I'll stay with you,
But remember to
Be careful what you do,
Cause I'm not bulletproof.

In your secret place,
Staring into space,
Leaves me feeling frozen.
I just need to feel, that what we have is real.
And I'm the one you've chosen.

I'm trying not to think about
All the things you did before,
But sometimes it all just gets to me.
I'll stay with you,
But remember to be careful what you do be
Cause I'm not bulletproof.

Ref.

Be careful what you say,
Be careful what you do.
I'm not bulletproof.
I'm not bulletproof."

morbid29 @ 10:24am: Things that are and things to be
A recap of not just last week but of things even before that,

First of all is the news that my father has remarried. This news doesn't mean the slightest thing to me since I have had it clear to him in the letter sent in the first half of this year I don't want him in my life. But still I only learned of this when me mother asked me if I had been invited since me sister enquired. I had once thought before he finally got the clue but then about a month or two later I get a text from him. Well now that I hadn't been invited to the wedding I figure he has finally gotten it through his thick skull!

Last week I had a job interview. I had known about it since the week before but due to my personal advisor from Reed not telling where and who it was with it caused some problems. So finally coming the day before the interview was due expecting to see my advisor and get some answers I learn she was ill and nothing had been sorted to cover my apppointment; so the advisor who is stationed next to mine saw me booked me in an hour before the interview was due and on that day got things sorted. Needless to say things did not go well enough at the time of the interview. But what would you expect when you only had a hours pior time to ready yourself for it?! Hoping when I do see my advisor Tuesday they are back in as I need a word with them about how this was handled.

This coming Saturday I am attending the engagment party for my cousin. Me mother when asking was pretty much expecting me to say no I didn't want to come. But not this time for I said yes I was going. It's about time I started to treat family like family.

Next week I am not looking forward for one simple reason. Why at the moment I pretty much live alone since my mother is never really around much, I WILL BE living alone for ten days while she disappears off to the US on a holiday.

One last thing is a request for help. If anyone knows how to remove a virus called Trojan horse small.AoQ please tell me how.

3ducker1culter4 @ 1:52am: So, through some facebook surfing, I have found 3 girls who graduated TUS with me who look like they've gotten boob jobs. I wonder what the official count is.

3ducker1culter4 @ 3:18am: Also, today I spent too much money internet shopping at American Eagle, but I got such crazy deals that I felt it was justified. The only thing I didn't get on crazy sale was a convertible bra, which I need to be able to wear like three of my dresses. I had it shipped to my house, and I'm really hoping it will get there by next Friday so I can use the bra for my cousin's wedding. I got a total of 20 things for about $200, including multiple sweatshirts and sweaters. I'm really psyched about them.

3ducker1culter4 @ 3:11am: Boooo theatre history paper! I hate what papers do to my sleeping time. I suppose that's my own fault, but wahh.
Also, I just sneezed so hard that tears flew out of my eyes.

darkrainbow @ 8:59am: Lonely
I wish I knew people here. I feel so depressed. I need to go back to the doc to get back on zoloft. I hate feeling like I'm crazy and getting so stressed out over the littlest things. Anyway I am getting surgery most likely on the 23rd. I just don't know what I'm gunna do about the kids and stuff. I could really use some help while recovering BUT like I said I have noone here. I need a friend to talk to when things are rough, when I feel like downing 10 Colanapin and just passing out.I miss Gem. I miss having a her close by so i can just call her and talk to her about anything. She is the one person I trust with all my heart, I mean I trust Dave but I can't talk to him about everything b/c sometimes i just need a girl to talk to. Ugh I dunno... writing helps a bit I guess. Gunna finish watching True Blood. Then going to sleep, or atleast trying to....

3ducker1culter4 @ 4:04pm: How I know that I have an absurd amount of clothing: I've been here since the last week of August, and today is the first time I've done laundry.

morbid29 @ 2:21pm: Could be better
I have a job interview Wednesday morning. The thing is I don't where and who with as my personal advisor at Reed holds that information and hasn't seen to sharing such details with me yet. Best of all my advisor was away ill today leaving someone else having to step in at the last minute.

If my advisor hasn't returned by Wednesday I will have lost out on a interview plus I have still to hear from the one last week.

So far this week isn't going well.