| Am I crazy? |
[03 May 2003|10:20am] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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I suppose some of my reasoning for starting to write my thoughts is because my friend LC things I am in need of psychological help due to my obsession with working and money. I admit that I'm obsessed, but I don't think I need to see a shrink because of it. I did stop seeing my therapist a few months ago, before I got like this, but I still think it's justified.
I'm terrified of taking out loans. I took out loans when I went to school before, but when I dropped out my parents used the rest of my college money to pay them off. I've owed a couple thousand to credit card companies, but the idea of taking out a $12K loan scares the crap out of me. That's a LOT of money. I know that now matter how many hours I work I won't be able to avoid loans, but I want to borrow as little as possible. I'd also like to have enough money to enjoy myself. I'm going to be in Paris, I want to have fun!
So maybe it is a little overboard that I feel guilty about spending time with my friends because I'm not working. I suppose it's not as if I'm blowing off a job so I can hang out with them. It does drive me crazy to do nothing for too long. Like last weekend when LC and I had a lazy Sunday morning then went out for a late lunch. Then he wanted to go nap. I wanted to scream! I'd already lazed around for most of the day, it was now after 3pm and I wanted to either do something or go to my day job and get in a few hours so I'd be ahead for the coming week. I think I did a good job of keeping my frustration hidden and in the end we did go on a small hike, but I did tell him about it and he thinks I'm a bit loony now.
So am I crazy? I just want to make money. He thinks that making myself miserable for a few extra dollars isn't worth it and that I should relax and have fun sometimes. He's right, it has been a long time since I've purchased a CD, but I have lots of CD's and the radio and the Internet, so maybe I don't need to buy any. I don't know.
On a happier note after he lectured me on how I was miserable I went and took advantage of a free ice cream cone. I like ice cream. Chocolate-Peanut Butter. yum!
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| Another job |
[03 May 2003|12:26pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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As I think I mentioned, I'm looking for another (3rd) job. I have one full and one part, but my part time job doesn't give me that many hours. I work every Monday night, then every other Sunday and 2 Friday nights a month. Sundays and Friday's are only 3.5 hours, so it's not much. I have Saturday free, and every other Sunday, or Sunday after 5pm. I sent out over 40 resumes, but only got 2 responses. It's hard to find something restricted to just those hours and even harder to get a job that will pay me a decent salary. I'm hoping to make at least $12/hr and realise that's somewhat of a dream at this point and will never be reality.
The first place that called me back was a security place which wanted me to work Sat and Sun. I said I could probably do that and went in for the interview. I spoke with 3 people, all who seem amazed that I had 2 jobs and was looking for a 3rd. I asked why and they said since I'd be the only one onsite, it was very important that I'm there and always on time. If I am late, then the person before me has to stay. If I have to leave early, I have to get the person after me to come in early to cover. If I can't come in, the management has to fill in if they can't find anyone else. I got the impression that they would get very angry if that had to happen. I just wasn't happy with the idea of it. I was hoping I'd be with at least one other person, not alone. And the salary range they gave me during the interview wasn't at all what I thought it would be. So I didn't go back for the 2nd interview.
The other place that called me back was a hotel, looking for someone at the front desk. She wanted Fri/Sat/Sun but I do have a full time job and couldn't do that. We agreed that I could work Fri and Sat and then I'd work Sun-Thurs at my FT employer. The hours at the hotel would be early enough morning so I could go to my evening job if I was working that Friday. I figured I could switch a few Sundays for Fridays to keep up my FT hours and not lose any time at either employer. I went in for the interview which I thought went really well. She emailed me a few days later and requested references. I sent them and they all replied to her. I went in for a 2nd interview with the General Manager and I think that went ok. It's now been several weeks and I haven't heard back. I'm starting to wonder if they just decided not to call me.
I'm both hoping yet dreading this call. I do want the money. I'm not thrilled with the idea of working 7 days a week but I feel I have to. It's decent money. But the thing is, they would want me to stick around for a long time. And I'm leaving the country at the end of August. They discussed a long training time, even longer since I was part time, and things like that. I somewhat feel that ethically I shouldn't take this job if they do offer it. But it may be a moot point if I never get offered it.
I may have to attempt waitressing or go to the department store I worked at part time over Christmas. But I've never been a waitress and made crappy money at the store.
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