| Too Fast |
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| 08:54am 07/02/2006 |
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mood:  bored music: Warning
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Seduce a stranger
whats so wrong with
being happy
kudos to those who
see through sickness
over and over
and over and over
and
she woke in the morning
she knew that her life had passed her by
and she called out a warning
dont ever let life pass you by. |
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| There Is |
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| 08:40am 07/02/2006 |
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mood:  artistic music: Horns and Tails
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This vacation's useless
These white pills aren't kind
I've given a lot of thought on this 13-hour drive
I miss the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9
And slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights
I've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have
The days have come and gone
Our lives went by so fast
I faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor
Where i laid and told you, but you sweared you loved me more
Do you care if i don't know what to say
Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me
Will i shake this off pretend its all okay
That there someone out there who feels just like me
There is
Those notes you wrote me
I've kept them all
I've given a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall
With every single letter in every single word
There will be a hidden message about a boy that
loves a girl
Do you care if i don't know what to say
Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me
Will i shake this off pretend its all okay
That there someone out there who feels just like me
There is
Do you care if i don't know what to say?
Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me
Will i shake this off, pretend its all okay
That there's someone out there who feels just like me
Do you care if i don't know what to say
Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me
Will i shake this off pretend its all okay
That there someone out there who feels just like me
There is |
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| weekend and life |
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| 08:14pm 06/02/2006 |
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mood:  discontent music: Proceed with Caution
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super dooper shortness
friday me dale brittany cara michelle rob christina cos christina cass christine dan and andy were all at christinas and then everyone left but christine dan christina cas and andy. everyone else came to my place and had fun and christina left and slept and chicagos house and brittany and cara and dale slept over. we had fun. then christina got dropped off early and the girls left and me and dale chilled out. and i totally forgot that i wanted to go to the show and i was reminded in algebra that it was fucking awesome and i missed out on some crazy pits which made me mad but idc i was with dale. so we lounged around and went to home depot and places and got some stuff for my room and wow im leaving out crazy details i just dont feel like typing them all. so sunday we went out for a little bit got some books after cosola left from her lovely stop by my casa :-) we got back to my place and watched movies and then when he came back upstairs he said he was gunna have to leave whne he was planning on staying sunday night and see me off to school. so he got upset and started drinking but my dad said he couldnt stay but he kept drinking and i was upset so i was matching his shots and did 2 more then him actually and i was pretty bad. but i opened up to him. which i will prolly never do again. because i feel vounerable when i do that and i hate that feeling more then anything. i found out some things i didn't like as im sure he did about me. but we just realized that we are meant to be together and if i was only a few more years older we would go get married and there is one thing i will never forget that he said to me saturday night
"did I ever tell you I get that feeling... when I look into your eyes... I get that feeling. that feeling of falling in love."
<3
so dale made me a mix. and i dont think ive stopped listening to it since he left. i love him so much. today at school kinda sucked tho. i found out all my friends and even an ex of mine knew something about dale that to me is an EXTREMELY personal thing. and i didnt even know. when people who he hasnt even met know. its rediculous. and hurts. but i guess thats why its the past. because its supposed to hurt.
im writing a book. but no one will be allowed to read it. until im old and i finally get it published. the only person i talked to about my book was jimmy. hes a good friend and i miss the old him. but hey, people change. i changed. some people say for the worst. cus im not the nixon they know. and its weird when people say that around dale because he doesnt know of me like that. liek cara said to him "thanks for making chelsea not scary" and he just looked at me and said "why would you be scary" lol i didnt know what to say. im nixon? i dont flippin know.
i also found out today that my ex is dating my friend who is also an ex of someone that i slept with so theres this big giant circle of tension. but im proud of myself because im not even mad. i honestly dont care. but i think its kind of pathetic that they cant find new people. that they result to ex's of ex's of friends friends. like its a big world. honestly. oh well. as long as shes happy. i dont care about him tho.
i had a long talk with nick today. i havent hung out with him in awhile. and i should.
me and shelly are back yea michelle (6:35:41 PM): DEM DER PHERIDACTLYES and i love it
i want to hear ground folds acoustic version right now. i feel like i need to cry about something i havent cried about in a while. twisted? idk. whatever.
so basically im afraid my boyfriend thinks im pathetic and i regret sunday night. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| Some pills in a little cup |
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| 11:22pm 02/02/2006 |
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mood:  depressed music: Traffic
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i dont know whats been wrong with me. I'm only happy when Dale is here which yeah i guess is a good thing but like I shouldn't only be happy when hes here. thats not normal. when hes not here all i do is sleep. i didnt hang with anyone all week and tomorrow is friday and im going to go thorugh another awesome weekend with him and happiness then the week is gunna come and im going to be depressed and just want to sleep the days away.
like i used to get like this. like i would only be happy when i was with my friends smoking pot. and when i wasnt with them i would mask my depression with other drugs because i didnt want to accept that i was depressed. so i did coke and hero and bad things that pretty much ruined my life and my body. and monday when dale left i was like fuck this shit and took 20 pills. and i didnt like that i did that. but i did it anyways. and that upsets me.
my mom is worried about me. she even offers to watch movies or take me places when i tell her i want to sleep. i tell her no. she even offered to take me to go look at minicoopers. which if you know me you know its the car of my dreams. and i said no. i dont know why either. id rather just sleep and hope everythign is different when i wake up. eventhough i know it wont be, which keeps upsetting me.
i had a dream about things that i used to do. not drugs though. cosola knows. it also upset me, and scared me.
im currently reading mein kampf. its a book written by hitler. it has alot of things in there that are also sort of scaring me. like his ideas and concepts on life and people. because i share the same outlooks. i always knew i was sort of a racist... but i didnt think i shared the mind frames of hitler.
i think i am sort of hiding some things. like true feelings i have. and things that go through my head. memories. and plans. i should start talking about them with someone who has no ties to me. like in the book perks of being a wallflower... he writes letters to someone who has no clue who he is. i think i should do something like that. but i might get like investigated with some of the things i think i might say. they might scare the person.
i need a hot shower. like so hot my first layer of skin burns off. i need some sort of legitimate reason to feel some sort of physical pain.
i dont like how i am talking and i know im going to get some sort of comment like OMG NO NO NO. but those of you who have known me for years know how this is how i used to always be. and i guess its better that im only lke this 4 days a week instead of 7. |
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Read 5 - Post |
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| weekend |
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| 08:32pm 31/01/2006 |
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mood:  drained music: thoughts rushing through my head...
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weekend was amazing. i love how every week they keep getting better and better. gives me something to look forward to. friday dale came over. we chilled then showed up at brittanys and she said she was going to the mall with cosola and nick was going somewhere else so i was like well ill go if nick goes so dale can come too. so they boys stayed at brittanys and played pool and me and britt went to pick up christina while BLASTING justin timberlake. we then went to lakeside and got ciggs then went to the mall. when we got there the boys were pulling in right behind us... we were walking through the parking lot singing sublime when they pulled in so we stopped walking and then they parked and i ran to dale and he picked me up and spun me around lmfao i love him. so cosola me and dale had a cigg and strong and hunter were inside. we then went inside and sooo much crap happened. it was fun. saw alot of my guy friends which was good. i miss them. yeah so we all went to my house and then britt and cosola stayed at my house while me and the boys went to blockbuster. then we all watched a movie but me nick and cosola passed right out and the boys left to go sleep at nicks at like 2 am. so they decided to come over at liek fucking 10 in the morning or some shit like that. my mom made us all pancakes. and then britt went to take cosola home and nick went home and me and dale chilled around. at like 830 we decided to play poker for money with my parents. they were all drinking and all that jazz. we made like 40 bucks but then blew it on food thorughout the weekend. lmfao. so yeah we played until liek 1am. nick came over for a little bit but then he left... dale slept over and planne don leaving sunday but his tummy hurt. we went out to breakfast but we left early and took the food to go so we could eat it at home. i drove there just me and him which was cool :-). so yeah then he called him mom and told her he was staying another night. we just laid around and shit. my mom cooked us like an obsene amount of food for dinner. then we chilled out and i slept on the couch and he slept in my room. monday morning my rents kicke dup out of the house at like 8am. we went to brittanys and slept on her pull out bed but her mom got upset so we left and got the house keys from my mom at work and went back to my house. he took his shot and then we laid aorund... ordered some more food and watched some tv. my mom came home and we chilled the cosola and casciola came over. theywere flippin drunk by time they even got to my house. i gave them more vodka tho cus it was fun. my baby left but not before i stepped on glass saying by to him lmfao. i didnt want to look like a fag so i cried about it after he left lmfaooo. yeah the girls helped me pick it out of my foot it was nasty. yeah so i was sad that dale was gone and i felt lefted out so i drank. and then we decided MALL <3 lmfao. so yeah we get outside and they decided to get robo once we get to the mall. so we get there i take 20 cosola takes 20 and then cass drinks the whole bottle. we went to rubys and ate then went in macys and it kicked in and i like passed out on the floor of the fitting rooma nd then dale called me and woke me up and i was curled up under the chair in the fitting room. i was insanly fucked up... not just cus i took a whole bottle but cus i hadnt been fucked up in so long. it was good and bad at the same time. goos because i was with my girls havign the time of my life and bad because i didnt think about the reprocutions (sp?) until after. dale was mad at me. which i dont blame him for being. cus i get upset when he drinks but hes a grown man he can do whatyever he wants and i'll never tell him other wise because if you know me i do whatever the fuck i want whenever i want and thats what makes me chelsea nixon. i do what i want and i let people do what they want thats why people respect me i guess. so yeah i got lost in the mall and got off the fone with dale so i could call the girls cus i lost them. they were outside where her mom was supposed to pick us up. i called dale and told him i found them and then i sat outside with my hea din my lap and my eyes closed cus i was rolling so intensly. they went inside but said they would be back. i dont remember that phone converstaion with dale at all. i just remember it feeling like it lasted for hours. maybe it did. maybe it was 5 minutes i dont know. her mom came and they came and 'woke' me out of my trance. we got in the car and i told cosola that when i move in with dale she'll be the only one i have desire to visit. and i told her i loved her. and we held hands the whole ride home. lmfao. it sounds gay but i love her. thats all i remember from the car ride. i got home and fell asleep or went into that trance again in the bathroom. i felt as if i wa sin there for hours. im guessing maybe 45 minutes. all i know is dale called me and woke me up when i was in there and thats when i stood up. i told my mom my stomach hurt and thats why i was in there so long. i called dale and laid in my room. he was veryu upset with me... which i deserved. he told me to call him back when i was done being fucked up becaus ei twas botihering him but i didnt know when that was gunna be cus it was like 11 and i was still peeking. so i got off the phone with him and called cosola. we talked for like an hour. and we bullshitted. i dont remmebr about what either.... *puzzled* i think about the feelings and about boys and stuff. she was still messed up but casicola wasnt. i got off the phone with her and called back dale and talked until about 1. im not sure if it was a dream but i think when we got off the phone he told me he forgave me for the night. i dont know though. i was still pretty messed up. but yeah. it was a good time and a bad time like i said. but deffinatly an awesome weekend.
today i slept all day. and it was nice. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| i stole my gym teachers lap top |
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| 10:41am 27/01/2006 |
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mood:  rushed music: mark yelling at me
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hey everybodyyy
im mad bored im sitting in the gym and i dunno what to do
dales comming today and im really excited
core is gay and keeps hitting enter
he has terits
yeah so my boys just walked away so now im sitting here all alone. mark core and nick were here but they left to go steal basketballs from the freshman.
yeah anywho
today should be fun. nicks bringing me home so i should be there around 12 and then dales gunna get there anywhere from 1230 to 1. we are gunna hang out and do whatever and then go to britts and play some pool and chill out for a little bit. then later tonight the 4 of us are hitting up cosmic bowling.
okay i just reloacted next to my boys ahha i sat on marks foot. OH WELL
i gave cory his gifty/card/ciggscory is yelling at me cus he wants to go on the laptop but i say no cus i stoled it and its MINE
he loved it :) ima good friend
yeah
so anywho i gtg gaeta wants it back
peace |
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| fuck i have to type fast cus i have to pee |
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| 10:55am 26/01/2006 |
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mood:  amused music: freshman cheating on the exam behind me
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i just finished my child growth final which took me 30 minutes and everyone else is still doing it . i was the last one doing my us. history final cus it was flippin hard. i wanted to tell someone to call my cell phone in the middle of class so my BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM ringer went off cus that would be funny... but i didnt cus i just thought of it now. lmfao. yeah anywho. today ima go home a sleep a little bit then since i didnt og to the mall yesterday i have to go today cus tomorrow its coreys 18th birthday so ima get him something. and plus i want some new clothes that i dont have to pay for hahah. tomorrow i dont have a final 4th period which is great for a bunch of reasons that i will now speak about...... hah. uhh 1. cus my 3rd period final is gunna be the hardest thing ever and i have to get over a 65 or i have to take the class again. which would yeah SUCK. 2. cus nick is gunna bring me home since he has my 4th period with me so we are just gunna leave early. which means that ill get out of school at 1030 which means ill get home before 11 which means i get to see dale EXTRA early! w00t w00t. yay! hahahah yeah. i have to pee and my stomach is empty so i need more frosted cheerios. the end. love you all. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Sometimes it gets so hard I feel like letting it all go... |
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| 04:54pm 25/01/2006 |
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mood:  mellow music: Why I Don't Believe In God
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okay fat bitches and fat hoes and fat bitches and that ugly kid had a run in with nixon and the crew today. crew meaning cosola-casciola-alessi-brittany and yeah i think thats all that was there.... but if you were there and were part of it im sorry if i dont remember you i was caught in the moment. so yeah this girl alyssa has been giving cosola constent problems cus she slept with her boyfriend which she didnt know was his boyfriend at the time but whatever. so yeah they are still firneds but this girl is like going crazy. so today cosola was upset cus of this problem shes havign with this guy brian. so i was with her and my teahcer let me leave class instead of watching the movie and go into cosolas study hall and then have lunch with her in D. so yeah d lunch came and all my girlies have D so i was with them and Cosolas like shes gunna do something and i was like hahah lets see her say anything to you while im there. so we are all sitting there the girlies plus this girl who i helped with a boy problem who i dont know what she is but me being awesome and caring went up to her when she was crying and she was sitting there with us and was like "i wouldnt say anything if i were her. your fucking intimidating. but its so weird cus your SO nice" which made me feel really good about myself and then casciola went on to say how im too intimidating for her lmfao idk so yeah we were sitting there and the girl alyssa walks by and shes crying and i was being a totallllll bitch and yelled "AWE YOUR CRYING!?!?!?!? WHY ARE YOU CRYING" and she walked up to her boyfriend who i guess she was fighting with and they yelled and cursed and she walked away crying more and i was still in bitch mode and yelled "AWEEE STOP CRYINGGG" and she turned back and i thought she was gunna say something to me but instead she went "too bad you can't get the guy you want" and she was so shocked (cosola) that she didnt respond cus they all thought she would say something to me but i guess she didnt cus i am "intimidating" so i yelled across the cafe "SHE ALREADY FUCKED HIM" cus she was walking away. and i was the only one who is like a fighter in the group so i was like lets go follow her and everyone was like uuuhh uhh and i was like hm okay lets think this through then. so casciola got the idea to buy fries and be like "here comfort food" so we counted our change and walked into the senior cafe and bought fries and i carried them with both the christinas behind me and i put them down and went here hope you feel better and she looked at me and went look at you and i was like yeah im lookin and she was like and look at your friends and i took a step back and put my arms around the christinas and was like yeah i like my friends and gregg stood up and was like WTF IM NOT A PART OF THIS and goes to get up and alyssa was like no gregg dont leave me and grabbs on to him and he pulls away and she holds onto him and gets dragge don the floor cus he wanted to leave so bad and it was really embarassing for her and i actually started feeling bad so we left. and went into the hall and chuckeled about what happened. then like 5 minutes later BAM i get hit with the fries. thinking its alyssa i turn around about to punch her but its osme other senior girls that i guess were her friends but if they were such good friends why didnt they say anything during the episode in the cafe. well yeah anyways i turned around and followed them and was like wtf who threw that at me and they were all cowards and stayed quiet except this one bitch was like i didnt throw it cus you shouldnt be embarrassing her like that and the cosola was like she embarrassed herself and blah blahblah and all the classes in 3rd hall came out and the teachers came out and they all watched me and this girl screaming and cursing and we went to push eachother and mr lopez told us to stop and leave so we walked away and then kept yelling and cursing and she was like your a immature bitch and i raised my arms in the air and laughed and went YEP AND DAMN PROUD and then walked away. but lopez made me and cosola go to the office. so we told mr.m what happened and he was really mad at me since i wasnt even suppposed to be in that lunch and it was all sorta me eventhough it really had nothing to do with me. so yeah they brought that girl in who i was yelling with and then she left and then mrs.embley found that girl alyssa crying in a bathroom or something and talked to her and then came into where me and cosola were sitting with mr.m and was like WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT SLEEP WITH PEOPLES BOYFRIENDS and was like calling her a slut and stuff and i was so caught off gaurd i started laughing and cosola was soooo angry i could see the fury in her eyes. it was intense. so yeah we dealt with her then embley left and me cosola and mr m we talking about how the girl was on the floor and the 3 of us started laughing about it eventhough that was bad of a vice principle to do. but yeah still... anywho me and her left and like the second i stepped out of the office everyone was liek NIXON WHAT HAPPENED blah blah blah so i called dale to tell him and then gaum was there so i had to get off the phone. me n cosola went to the gym and then she left. and then that was the school day pretty much. dave came over for like an hour and watched a mosh dvd and some fuse. im supposed to be going to the mall but idk if i still am... idk idk. yeah so tomorrow is finals and then friday dale is comming (cue annoying voice just for cosola) hahahahah yeah hm peas out idk what else to say lol |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| ....I will watch you burn like fire... |
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| 04:37pm 25/01/2006 |
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mood: creative music: Like A California King
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I miss you
I miss being overwhelmed by you
And I need rescue
I think I'm fading away
But I keep thinking that you'll wake me up with a whisper in my ear
I keep hoping that you'll sneak in my room
So I wait and I wait
And I run old scenes through my tired head
Of the days we laid by the school and said forever
Was that the best I'll ever be
I miss you
I miss talking all night long with you
And I need this to find a way to your home
My love can you hear me
Have I been hoping loud enough, wishing hard enough
Can you see me when I'm asleep all alone - alone
So I wait and I wait
And I run myself in the same old circles
I sit and I stare
And I run old scenes through my tired head
Of the days that we laid by the school and said forever
Was that the best I'll ever be
Can't keep my hands from shaking
Stumbling through the wreckage again
But you're gone
So I wait and I wait
And I run myself in the same old circles
And I sit and I stare
And I run old scenes through my tired head
Of the days that we laid on our backs and said forever
Was that the best I'll ever be
Was that the best I'll ever be
Was that the best I'll ever be |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| dieing people already wtf yo |
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| 11:37pm 24/01/2006 |
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mood:  horny music: totally my skin eh?
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i spelt it wrong but whtaver cu si cant stand the i and the ys and the ings and shit like form lying and lieing and dying and dieing seriously make up yer damn mind english-ness
i feel like i want to go run outside with a kite and something metal lmfao. its thunder and lightening real bad and shiittttt yeah whateverr. uh im done. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| yes... |
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| 11:05pm 24/01/2006 |
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mood:  relieved music: Dale talking about usernames.... hahah <3
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i've come to the conclusion that every friday i get extremly annoying and cosola knows what im talking about so yeah im going to change what i say every friday when i come into school so you people dont start hating me. yes. so i drank all my vitamin water and now im fucking sad. damn. and i have goose bumps. whateverrrr. yeah so today was fun. staying after made me a little sad tho. like the weather and the ciggs reminded me of freshman year and then i missed the people that were there and then little aj walked in alone and it just made me so fucking sad to see that aj walked in, alone. and when he did come in he was looking for that fag chris. like serious when charles and timmy moved it spilt up everything. yeah whatever im sure vereyone in the free world knows about what happened with me and charles but still, that kid (along with tim) held that town together... now when you stay after on a beautiful day liek today was... theres no people. theres no more loft or football behind the church. and it sucks. and i was listening to finch on my i pod which didnt help but ohhh welll. so yeah steph came and met us there and she was stoned and my school is 27 high street and she called me and was like im infront of the school and i was like oh so your on high street and she goes YEAH I AM and it was funny.. haha yeah so she met us and ate and couldnt stop talking about how good the pizza was which i agree cus it was good but she was ubber stoned so it was double good for her. so then eric came and met us at piazza and then we walked to his house. then i like attacked his cat ahahaha and then we left and i passed out in the back of his car and woke up on my own at the 4 way stop at my road and i think i remember waking up ranodmly and answering his question if we wanted to go to lakeside but i was like dead asleep so it was weird and idk if they knew i was sleeping but whatever so yeah i got home at liek uhh 630ish? and slept till 10 when dale called me :) and then i came online and yeah i had a good day but town was depressing. i miss the townie boys and the fun they carried with them whevere they went :( but yeah thats gone and it will never come back. |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| alyssa y greg? |
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| 11:03pm 24/01/2006 |
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mood: awake music: my tummy making weird noises
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FAT BiTCHES AND FAT HOES
FAT BiTCHES AND ... THAT UGLY KiD |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| Weekend, YO |
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| 11:03pm 22/01/2006 |
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mood:  grateful music: Underwater Love
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yeah yeah yeah another amazing weekend. im glad im having a lot of those nowadays
okay so friday dale came over and we went to dunkin donuts with my mom and he met christine and the sexy pat hahahaha yeah so then the 3 of us went to my grandmas for a litttle and things didnt go as i planed. everyone liked dale, as always. but i got ragged on. and i didnt know what to say so all i said was "ima loser" and that made my grandma cry. so i felt really bad. then we went back to my house and sat around for a little bit but then my mom told us that my dad was comming home so we left and went to kims. which was amazing. at frist her mother wasnt home so we were like goofing around on her bed me kima nd dale while sean was outside having a cigg. hahah we took some funny pix. dale tried on my jacket which is a small... which is way too small for him. it was so funny! he looked adorable<3 then me dale and sean went to the store while kim got dressed cus she had just took a shower. kims mom came home but her dad was at work. we sat on her bed and talked cus her mom is so cool. i asked her if it was okay to spend the night and she said of course but i called my mother and she said no but i told her i would be home late like 3 and she just said fine answer when i call and then we got off the phone. the 4 of us then chilled out and alexia and kevin got there. we all chilled out and then went in the basement and played pool and listened to music and shit. then we just chilled and her friends Hillary and Christina got there. then a little later justin Hillarys boyfriend. Then randomly this girl Michelle arrived witht his one girl taht i never caught her name... then thoughtout the night everyone left except me dale sean kim hillary and justin.... my mom told me she was gunna call so i went to sleep with my phone in my hand waiting for her to wake me. woke up at like 11 and no one called so i figured maybe she changed her mind about me sleeping there. so we all went and ate in the kitchen. her mom got us bagels! heheh yeah so then my mom called and things went down that i dont want to get into. i want to make this a happy entry<3 so yeah sean went snowboarding so me dale and kim just watched hung out and watched team america. at liek 5 me and dale went to the mall. he liked my jacket so much we went into jcpennys to see if they had his size. but nope they were all too tiny for him hhehe so then we went back to my house because my dad says he had to have a talk with me. he made dale leave so he went back to kims. which i was so glad he did because i got to see him today. but he like drank a lot and was with all these people and had like all this fun meanwhile i was crying and getting mad shit from my dad about me being with dale... while he was playing drinking games. so that made me feel like shit. so i called brittany and we talked. i love her. and eventhough i know she doesnt read this... thanks britt. so then i woke up and he came over. we chilled here then went to brittanys and she met him along with the hunters (aka my second family). then we went back to my house and had some food and he left :( britt came and got me and i went back to her place with nick we chilled there then went to the mall. then nick started not feeling well so we went back to britts. then decided to watch some NEXT and then Malbus Most Wanted which inspired nick to make my new voicemail message aahaha. yes so we chilled and had bday cake cus thursday was toms birthday. so then we just chilled then me and nick left. i came home called my love and then took a shower. im typing this real quick then ima blow dry my hurrizzle then call him again. im so happy. love is a beautiful thing. yes and to clarify this is parental sensored haha
love you all. comment or die. play my quote game please?
Such a pretty girl happy in an ugly place, watching all the pretty people doing lots of ugly things. I think it's getting better for the two of us. yes i think it's getting better almost everyday. I could give a damn for what those people say. All i want to do is lose myself in your room. All you want is just a slowfuck in the afternoon. i still see those scary guys when i am all alone at night. i kiss the ring you gave me, then i swing with all my might. |
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| DAY-O |
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| 03:46pm 19/01/2006 |
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mood:  complacent music: SMUG OR SELF SATISFIED- said by dale
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BLAHHHH
i have to pee so badly woahhhh
yeah im on the phone with dale
and no one read my surveys
no one comments on my shit
ima prolly stop writing here since i dont get feedback
yep
the end. |
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| 11:26pm 18/01/2006 |
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mood:  satisfied music: Dale's voice
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I can see the light behind your eyes
Even in the summer shade outside
When every single day
Will never feel the same
A single minute can't be wasted |
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| SURVEYS |
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| 10:55pm 18/01/2006 |
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mood:  determined music: the number 12 looks like you
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| Have You Evers, This Or That, Do Yous, Three Things You... (104) | | Do save. | | What time are you starting this?: | 10:19 | | Have you ever had a lucid dream?: | what? | | Are you insomniac?: | sometimes | | Have you ever danced in the rain?: | yes. it was amazing | | Sat in the middle of the street?: | yes | | Have you ever cheated on a test?: | HA yeah | | Have you ever ran with scissors and actually hurt yourself or someone else?: | not while I was sober | | Ever kiss someone just to see their reaction?: | no | | ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: | yes | | Have you ever been in real take-your-breath-away love?: | i am now | | Have you ever thought of your life in the past centuries?: | yeah actually | | Been in a car accident?: | yes | | Have you ever blacked out?: | only from drugs or anger | | Held back a grade in school?: | nope | | Three things that scare you | | 1: | having no friends | | 2: | being all alone in the dark with no way out | | 3: | having my head chopped off | | Three things you hate | | 1: | being lied to | | 2: | being told what to do | | 3: | being ignored | | Three things you want to do before you die | | 1: | jump out of a plane | | 2: | go on a hot air balloon | | 3: | do ether | | Three things you would never admit saying or doing | | 1: | im | | 2: | not | | 3: | admitting | | Three things I want to do | | 1: | be with dale | | 2: | go bowling | | 3: | paint my fingernails | | Three things I can't do | | 1: | pass english | | 2: | dodge drugs | | 3: | be happy | | Three things I love | | 1: | dale | | 2: | dale | | 3: | dale | | Three people that make me laugh | | 1: | dale | | 2: | cosola | | 3: | hunter | | Three people I'd like to know better | | 1: | myself | | 2: | steph | | 3: | core | | -- | | Do you know HTML?: | sure? | | How do you feel about your parents?: | my dad can suck a dick. my moms alright sometimes | | Do you have any security program installed onto your computer?: | yes | | What sort of music do you listen to?: | hxc | | What song are you listening to?: | forever by as i lay dying | | What is: | your mom doing here? | | Are you a morning or night person, or both?: | both | | Do you like to read?: | sometimes | | AIM, MSN, ICQ, None, Other?: | aim | | Worst habit?: | burping? | | What's the most vicious thing you ever done?: | made a teacher cry | | Ever thought of doing?: | killing someone | | Do you often find yourself with a crush on someone?: | nah | | Are you desperate to fit in?: | haha no | | Are you an intellectual?: | sure | | An atheist?: | yes extremly | | Depressed?: | eh not really | | Do you have selective mutism?: | uh? | | If no, do you even know what that is?: | not a clue | | Whats your IQ? (Test at iqtest.com): | nah | | Are you homophobic?: | nope | | Racist?: | yes | | Sexist?: | nope | | This or That | | Originality or Acceptance?: | originality | | Popularity or Isolation?: | whatever makes u happy | | Understood or Individual?: | individual | | Black or Grey?: | grey | | Winter or Summer?: | summer | | Ketchup or Mustard?: | ketchup | | Love or Lust?: | love | | Science or Math?: | math | | Rock or Rap?: | RAP! | | Makeup or None at all?: | makeup | | Messy or Organized?: | messy | | Girls or Boys?: | boys | | Sunrise or Sunset?: | sunrise | | Fire or Ice?: | fire | | You or Them?: | them | | Water or Soda?: | soda | | Coke or Pepsi?: | pepsi | | Mountain Dew or Sierra Mist?: | the mist | | Werewolves or Vampires?: | vampires | | -- | | Do you watch Invader Zim?: | used to | | History Channel?: | yes | | Read any comics?: | no | | Are they anime?: | noooo | | Do you wonder a lot?: | too much | | Do you curse a lot?: | hahahh yes | | Do you have a religion?: | yes | | What is it?: | atheist | Take this survey | Find more surveys
You've been totally Bzoink*d |
| The Perfect Guy | | Hair color?: | brown | | Eye color?: | brownish hazel | | Height?: | 6'1 | | Six pack?: | nah | | Long hair or short?: | longish | | Glasses?: | nah | | Piercings?: | yes | | Eyebrows?: | well yeah | | Big butt or little?: | middle | | Chest hair?: | a widdle bit | | Buff or skinny?: | middle | | Teeth?: | straight?!! | | Section 2 | | Funny or serious?: | funny | | Party-hopper or more stay-at-home?: | hopper | | Should he be able to bake or cook?: | cook | | Does he have a best friend?: | yea | | Is it okay for him to have a lot of female friends?: | its gunna have to be haha | | Out-going or shy?: | out going | | Sarcastic or sincere?: | sarcastic | | Does he love his mother?: | yes | | Should he watch chick-flicks?: | yes | | Would he be a smoker?: | not as bad as me | | How about a drinking?: | yeahh | | And swearing?: | fuck yeah | | Would he play with your hair?: | yes | | Would he have more than one girlfriend at a time?: | NO | | Would he pay for you when you're on a date?: | he should, cus thats the golden rule. but he doesnt hahah | | Does he kiss on the first date?: | yes | | Where would you go for dinner?: | anywhere | | Would he buy you flowers?: | he should | | Would he lay under the stars with you and spout random philosophies?: | yes | | Would he write poetry about you?: | if he wants | | Would he use endearments?: | sure? | | Would he hang out with your and YOUR friends?: | yeah | | How about you hanging out with him and HIS friends?: | course | | Would he walk you up to the door at the end of the evening?: | yes | | Would you hold hands?: | course! | | Section 3 | | Does he play soccer?: | no | | Baseball?: | no | | Football?: | no | | Basketball?: | no | | Water polo?: | no | | Golf or something equally boring?: | no | | Does he surf?: | no | | Skateboard?: | no | | Snowboard?: | no | | Can he sing?: | yes | | Play the guitar?: | yes | | Play piano?: | no | | Play the drums?: | no | | Can he keep his room clean?: | yes | | Is he an artist of sorts?: | yes | | Does he write his own music?: | no | | Does he have pets?: | yes | | Section 4 | | Does he use the word dude?: | nah | | How about tight?: | nah | | Would he watch the sun rise and set with you?: | yes | | What kind of car does he drive?: | jeep | | How old is he?: | 21 | | What's his name?: | dale | Take this survey | Find more surveys
You've been totally Bzoink*d |
| 130 Things People Want To Know About You | | .: The Basics :. | | Name?: | Chelsea Nixon | | Age?: | 16 | | Gender?: | female | | Location?: | Mstone | | Hair color?: | supposed to be blonde | | Eye color?: | blue | | shoe size?: | 9 | | height?: | 5'5 | | interests:: | music and life and love | | .: Favourites :. | | food: | italian | | drink: | diet pepsi twist | | music style: | hardcore | | music artist/band: | norma jean/on broken wings | | tv show: | roseanne | | movie: | american beauty | | thing to do: | be with my boyfriend | | ice cream: | cookie dough | | colour: | black-cherry | | song: | horns and tails | | book: | perks of being a wallflower | | computer game: | sims | | board game: | monopoly | | dessert: | blondie | | quote: | true love is the souls recognition of its counter-point in another | | animal: | squirell | | holiday: | xmas | | number: | 7 | | name: | names after months or seasons | | .: Friendship :.: | ? | | who's your best friend?: | cosola | | other close buddies...?: | hunter.cass.mannion.strong.bruno.meyers.richmond.will.amy.julian.alessi.cara.lins | | last friend you hung out with: | hunter y strong | | last friend you hugged: | cara | | last friend you saw a movie with: | nick n britt | | last friend's house you went to: | nicks | | any friends you cant stand?: | nah i <3 them all | | any friends you've regretted becoming friends with?: | nah | | if so, who?: | nobuddy | | do you have a lot of friends of the opposite sex?: | yeah | | most annoying friend?: | nun | | most preppy friend?: | hunter | | darkest friend?: | cosola? | | hyper-est friend?: | hunter | | nicest friend?: | cass | | funniest friend?: | cosola | | meanest friend?: | amy | | most outgoing friend?: | alessi | | shyest friend?: | bruno | | hottest friend?: | core | | friend with the best personality?: | steph | | friend with the best music taste?: | core | | friend who sings the best?: | idk | | friend who laughs the most?: | we all do | | friend you enjoy being around the most?: | hunter y cosola | | friend who your parents love?: | hunter | | friend who your parents hate?: | cosola | | friend your parents don't know about?: | core | | .: Romance :. | | got a crush/boyfriend?: | yes | | if so, what gender?: | male | | name?: | dale | | how far have you gone?: | sex? | | with who?: | my boyfriend | | the last person you kissed:: | romanticly-dale friendly-corey | | the last person you hugged:: | will | | the last person you wanted to kiss:: | dale | | how far you do want to go (at this point in life)?: | too late? | | hottest friend?: | core | | hottest celebrity?: | jake g | | if you could date any famous person, who would it be?: | ^^ | | dream date:: | anywhere my dale takes me | | dream honeymoon:: | anywhere but here | | age you want to get married (if not already): | 22? | | number of kids you want to have (if not already): | 2 i guess idk | | straight?: | yes | | gay?: | no | | bi?: | no | | would you rather your boyfriend/girlfriend be gay or bi?: | my boyfriend | | .: This or That :. | | Kerry or Bush: | kerry | | rap or rock: | RAP | | pop or country: | pop? | | movie or tv show: | tv | | girl or guy: | guy | | fire or water: | fire | | death or life: | life | | cheerleader or punk: | punk | | prep or jock: | prep | | kroger or publix: | publix | | walmart or target: | target!!! | | avril or jay-z: | jay-z | | pink or black: | black | | cheez it or cheese nip: | it | | cat or dog: | dog | | tape or glue: | glue | | msn or aim: | aim | | mall or movies: | mall | | writing or typing: | both | | phone or computer: | both | | baseball or football: | football | | p.e. or health: | health | | high school or middle school: | high | | dunkin donuts or starbucks: | DD | | amc or united artists: | amc | | walgreens or CVS: | cvs | | brownies or cookies: | cookies | | reading or writing: | reading | | surveys or polls: | surveys | | livejournal or xanga: | xanga | | Yellowcard or Ashlee Simpson: | yellow | | AFI or Jojo: | afi | | Green Day or Beastie Boys: | beastie | | kill or be killed: | kill | | eat or be eaten: | eat | | hate or be hated: | hate | | ocean or pool: | ocean | | singing or dancing: | sing and dance | | heart or peace sign: | peace | | halloween or christmas: | xmas | | question or answer: | answer | | fear factor or the o.c.: | ff | | the simpsons or who's line is it anyway?: | simpsons | | Disney or The N: | disney | | pancakes or waffles: | waffles | | strawberrys or blueberrys: | strawberrys | | yogurt or frozen yogurt: | frozen | | kiss or hug: | kiss | | guitar or drums: | drums | Take this survey | Find more surveys
You've been totally Bzoink*d |
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| bored |
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| 11:36pm 17/01/2006 |
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mood:  crazy music: BOYS LIKE YOU WERE OVER RATED * FOB
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Yes, so... I've been staring at meaningless lines and quotes that should be meaningless but they aren't. wow that was confusing... idk try to follow.
Friday is my double date :)
im so excited!!!! hahaha yay!
i love my dale yes my dale
i just realized how giddy
and how hyper i am right now
and how cold i am
today i got my period BLAH
Cosola and me got it the same day
im sad tho
im not an aunt anymore
i wanted to be aunt NIXON
that would have been sweet
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| 10:43pm 17/01/2006 |
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mood:  hopeful music: Fall Out Boy
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This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.
I say never be complete,
I say stop being perfect,
I say let... lets evolve,
let the chips fall where they may.
Only after disaster can we be resurrected.
With a gun barrel between your teeth,
you speak only in vowels.
People do it everyday,
they talk to themselves
they see themselves as
they'd like to be, they
don't have the courage
you have, to just run with it.
Why do you hate me so much?
How could you tell the only person
in the world that I love, that I care
about so much, to stay away from
me? Do you think that the only
thing I'll ever do to someone is
screw them up?
That I'm not worth loving?
You can be anywhere where
when your life begins. You
meet the right person and
anything is possible. When
the future opens up in front
of you. And you may not
even realize it at first, but
it's already happening.
The greatest thing you'll ever
learn is just to love and be
love loved in return.
Come what may, I'll love you till my dying day.
Can't fall in love? But a life without love, that's
terrible.
My gift is my song.
And this one's for you.
And You Can Tell Everybody
That this is your song. It may
be quite simple but now that
it's done. I hope u don't mind
I hope You don't mind That I
put down in words... How
Wonderful Life is Now
you're in the world
We have a dance in the brothels
of Buenos Aires. It tells the story
of the prostitute and a man who
falls in love with her. First, there
is desire. Then, passion. Then,
suspicion. Jealousy. Anger. Betrayal.
When love is for the highest bidder,
there can be no trust. Without trust,
there can be no love. Jealousy, yes,
jealousy will drive you mad.
Never knew I could feel like this.
Like I've never seen the sky before.
Want to vanish inside your kiss,
every day I'm loving you more
and more. Listen to my heart,
can you hear it sing?
His eyes upon your face.
His hand upon your hand.
His lips caress your skin.
It's more than I can stand!
I gave her him my heart,
she he gave me a pen.
<3Are you shaking?
<333No.
<3You're shaking.
<333I don't think so.
<3You're cold.
<333I don't think I am.
<3Then why are you shaking?
<333I don't know. I think I'm happy.
All I know is... you're
beautiful.
But our love is like the wind.
I can't see it, but I can feel it. |
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| 10:17pm 17/01/2006 |
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mood:  curious music: Brand New
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So in the end, was it worth it? Jesus Christ.
How irreparably changed my life has become.
It's always the last days of summer and I've
been left out in the cold with no door to get
back in. I'll grant you I've had more than my
share of poignant moments. Life passes most
people by when they're busy making grand plans
for it. Throughout my lifetime I've left pieces of
my heart here and there. And now, there's
almost barely enough to stay alive. But I
force a smile, knowing that my ambition far
exceeded my talent. There are no more white
horses or pretty ladies at my door.
Sometimes you're flush and
sometimes you're bust, and
when you're up, it's never as
good as it seems, and when
you're down, you never think
you'll be up again, but life goes on.
May the wind always be
at your back and the sun
upon your face. And may
the wings of destiny carry
you aloft to dance with the
stars.
50 kilos of cocaine? That's nothing. I piss 50 kilos.
There he goes. One of God's own prototypes.
Some kind of high powered mutant never even
considered for mass production.
Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
two bags of grass
seventy-five pellets of mescaline
five sheets of high-powered blotter acid
a saltshaker half-full of cocaine
a whole multi colored collection of uppers
downers, laughers, screamers
Also, a quart of tequila
a quart of rum, a case of beer
a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls
the desperate assumption that somebody
or at least some force - is tending the
light at the end of the tunnel.
Dogs fucked the Pope... no fault of mine. |
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dorky