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[15 Nov 2006|12:39am] |
Once, I thought I broke my arm, but I didn't tell anyone for weeks.
I didn't want them to make me stop, and I didn't want to hurt the guard's chances in competition.
I put a lot of things before my health, and I shouldn't.
I keep thinking that one day it'll take it's toll on me, but my body is really strong.
It doesn't quit.
My mind isn't as strong. It's breaking down.
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[15 Nov 2006|01:43am] |
Today this girl and her Gram came through my line at work.
The girl was so mean to her Gram.
I wanted to reach over the register, grab her, punch her in the face and scream
"DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING LUCKY YOU ARE TO STILL HAVE HER!?
I miss you so fucking much Gram : (
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| Shut up |
[15 Nov 2006|08:50am] |
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That's right...I, as in ME...broke up with Y-O-U. No boy EVER treats me like that. I don't care if we had a baby together, I DON'T CARE! As if our child matters in the first place, since it didn't bother you to fuck my best friend when I was pregnant.
I'll see your ass in court.
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[15 Nov 2006|03:20pm] |
whenever i go into a room,
i immediately look for the nearest escape route.
i'm always afraid of a fire, or just bitching parents.
i can't stand being threatened. i need to get out.
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[15 Nov 2006|03:31pm] |
i changed to picture to who i was really talking about.
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[15 Nov 2006|03:42pm] |
and by hingry i mean hungry.
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[15 Nov 2006|04:42pm] |
I'm afraid he has feelings for this girl.
I can't tell though, I think I over analyze everything
and just get really jealous if he talks to any females.
I'm hanging out with him friday.
I hope he snogs me, haha.
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| Mini Van |
[15 Nov 2006|05:27pm] |
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[15 Nov 2006|05:47pm] |
"i was voted 'Most likely to have many friends' by my classmates last year AND IT FEELS GREAT!"
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[15 Nov 2006|05:48pm] |
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i want to be in love.
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[15 Nov 2006|06:22pm] |
i was on my stepdad's computer & found places to buy blow up dolls on his history. ew.
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[15 Nov 2006|07:46pm] |
nine months ago today
the love of my life
broke up with me
and went out with a who i thought was my friend
and everything is messed up
ever since then
I've been 100% misrible
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[15 Nov 2006|07:57pm] |
i just found out how much money i could be getting from my car accident a couple months ago.
and i've never felt greedier.
i've been acting like a spoiled bitch lately, but i can't help it.
so much of me feels like i deserve these things.
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[15 Nov 2006|08:05pm] |
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OOOMMMM
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[15 Nov 2006|10:14pm] |
I was feeling like I didn't know who I was so I wrote in my journal, as much as I could about myself. Likes, dislikes, views on life, and EVERYTHING I could think of.
It's so far taken up 5 (very big) pages and I'm not yet done. I contradict nearly everything in it at some point later in the entry and I say "I don't know" a lot.
I've never been more reasured(sp?) about who I am in my life.
I have NO ida who I am and that IS who I am (if that makes ANY sense...
I feel good = ) you should try.
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[15 Nov 2006|10:17pm] |
 I didn't add my best friend's new aim.
I forgot it.
And now I'm afraid we wont talk anymore.
He lives over 500 miles away.
=[
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[15 Nov 2006|10:32pm] |
i wish i had a picture of peter to post:
because i'm so sick i'm on prednisone (an oral steroid)
i've done nothing but cry my eyes out for the past to days,
now i'm having nightmares about my baby brother Peter(my step-mom and dads baby)
who passed away three hours and 19 min. after he was born.
(a baby must be 21 weeks for the doctors to try to save it,
he was 20 weeks and a few days)
5 hours after he died my mother who was 7 monthe pregnant
at the time started hemmorging and had my baby brother Brennan
early the next morning,
they were in the same hospital, 3 doors down
my moms baby was in the n.i.c.u. for a few days,
but he's a healthy (although autistic and ADHD) 4 year old.:
Secret 1:
sometimes i resent loving Brennan so much
because peter isin't here, whenever Brennan reaches
a milestone i feel depressed because Peter will never have a chance.
Secret 2:
i have no one to talk to about the nightmares,
my mom gets upset that i'm sad
i cant tell my dad about it,
he was his son and it would hurt him,
i told him about one shortly after the funeral and
it made him cry
none of my friends or sisters will get it,
i feel so sad and alone.
it scares me how the dreams progress,
-1st year after his death he was an infant
and it seems as the years go by the dream get's worse
and somehow in the dream he gets older.
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[15 Nov 2006|10:53pm] |
awwe i surprised my one of my best friend's at her grandmother's funeral tonight.
so did two of her other good friends, but she cried when she saw me
because she said for a second she actualy felt happy and i made her feel better in a way.
that made me feel really really special.
i love her.
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[15 Nov 2006|11:17pm] |
lol my dad is SO onto my scheming.
dad: are you in bed?
me: almost (not even close)
dad: not on the computer, right?
me: no (yes)
dad: is all your homework done?
me: yes (no)
good thing i'm up on the third floor and my parents avoid stairs when they can...
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