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[01 Nov 2006|03:26am] |
I love my cat more than my older brother.
I act like it doesn't bother me, but I want someone to acknowledge my accomplishments, instead of all my failures.
I find it hard to care about or feel bad for people I don't know.
I don't want to live in America anymore, but I have to. So please, don't tell me to "JUST LEEVE ALLREEDI" because, if I could, I would.
I think loving him more will stop him from hurting me, even though I know it doesn't work that way.
I know he loves me, but I need him to tell me because I worry that he has changed his mind.
I stopped eating meat because I wanted to prove to him that I could do something. Because I wanted him to be proud.
I don't care enough to do anything for myself.
The only thing I like about myself is my hair.
I feel bad when I see terminally ill people. Not because they are dying of some horrible disease, but because I'm not. I think I deserve to be.
I don't think I deserve any better than the life I have now. I think I deserve every bad thing that happens to me, and more.
I know everything is worth it, just because of the way he looks at me in person.
I know most every bad thing that is said about me is true.
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[01 Nov 2006|06:15am] |
[sry, no picture.]
it's been four years since we've gone out.
&everytime i see you, i miss you even more.
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[01 Nov 2006|08:54am] |
there is no way to put this where i wont sound concided/fucked up/whatever the hell you might think
i think that if i get all the tattoo's i want
all the piercings i want
all the right clothes
the right haircut
i will feel complete
and the hole in me will be filled
i made it a priority to get all this done before i graduate to show people....well....whatever the hell im trying to show them
i got the haircut and dyejob i wanted finally
and i stole and bought a completely new wardrobe
im starting my transformation finally
i dont feel the least bit satisfied with myself
and the hole in me is still as big as ever
it hasnt even started to fill up like i thought i would
i thought i could piece myself together like puzzle
SECRET:i dont think ill ever be complete
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[01 Nov 2006|03:22pm] |
even though i get amazing grades
and i'm one of the top students in my grade,
when i tell people about my goals or something i did.
no one can take me seriously.
not even my parents, teachers, or friends.
i hate it.
but i know i brought it on myself
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[01 Nov 2006|03:25pm] |
I'M WEARING SUPERMAN BRIEFS.
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[01 Nov 2006|03:31pm] |
Secret:I'm joining the Dnd club with my friend and I dont care if other people make fun of me I think it will be fun
My mom says she doesnt have enought money for me to go here
Secret:she says this all the time but something in me says I will be going there.
hopefully i'm right
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[01 Nov 2006|03:51pm] |
*sorry no picture.
me and my sister used to be the same weight.
till i stoped working out.
and she started.
i gained alot.
she lost alot.
now im scared to eat infront of her.
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[01 Nov 2006|05:09pm] |
I cannot even explain how offended and hurt I am when people tell me that I am always so negative.
Secret:
I think they are right. And what's worse. I think that it bothers me.
Should I be ashamed of who I am?
Normally I defend the negative people,
but lately I am ashamed.
And that makes me feel even worse.
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| sorry no picture |
[01 Nov 2006|07:18pm] |
i just told him im still in love with him
he told me he doesnt feel the same way
i nearly started to cry
i stopped myself
and it doesnt hurt like i thought it would
i miss him, but i dont still love him
it took him saying what he did
for me to realise i can live without him
maybe this doesnt make much sense
but things are beginning to work out ok in my head :]
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[01 Nov 2006|07:34pm] |
I don't know what to do anymore. /=
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[01 Nov 2006|07:52pm] |
me: so i told the boy i really like that i liked him and he said "oh.my."
me: i cant decide weather or not thats good or bad, but i think its bad, but i really hope im just being the negative me i always am, although i think it was bad.
my best guy friend.. ever..: i think your being the negative you
my best guy friend.. ever..: who wouldnt like MAGGIE DELEO
my best guy friend.. ever..: i mean come on
my best guy friend.. ever..: its a NO BRAINER
and he wasnt even being sarcastic.. he was serious..
my friends are better than yours
go ahead, be jealous
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| horrible cliche? |
[01 Nov 2006|07:55pm] |
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[01 Nov 2006|08:35pm] |
I'm a 17 year old girl.
I am in my first semester of my first year of college.
I have never even held a boy's hand
I am pretty sure I am going to die alone.
The sad part is
I am ok with it
It makes me sad
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[01 Nov 2006|08:47pm] |
I lied about a hell of a lot more shit than you think. I fucked with your shit the entire time you were gone. I used your shit. I slept in your bed. You treated me like shit the whole time we lived together. You were a cunt. HAHA.
Yeah, I am immature. Get over it.
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[01 Nov 2006|08:58pm] |
i sometimes feel like im at war with myself...
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[01 Nov 2006|09:50pm] |
nk">
Saw it on LJsecret, had to steal it, it summed up exactly how I feel just now.
(I desperately want to keep feeling this way :\)
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[01 Nov 2006|10:41pm] |
pity party. woo.
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[01 Nov 2006|10:48pm] |
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( LOL. )
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[01 Nov 2006|11:25pm] |
'I want nothing more than to put all our memories in jars
so I can visit them when you're not around
I'm beginning to forget the curve of your back and the feel of your hands on my body'
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[01 Nov 2006|11:59pm] |
[=
My best friend... The one I hadn't talked to for about a month...
she called me today. We were on the phone for like 4 hours.
She hasn't sent me the letter... she said that it wasn't that important...
I'm really curious to know what's in it but whatever.
All that matters is that it feels like we never stopped talking.
She's probably going to come over sometime this weekend.
That seriously made my night.
I couldn't believe it when I picked up my phone & it was her. [=
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