| i know we all hate wordy secrets. |
[26 Oct 2006|12:01am] |
i can seperate feelings and physical pleasure just as well as anyone.
but you made it so fucking hard when you played with my hair and traced the outline of my shoulder blades with your fingers and whispered that i'm beautiful when we sat together in the dark.
you made it nearly impossible when you told me i should stop smoking, and you made that worried face when we were out on the porch at 1 am.
or when you kissed me in the rain and told me you'd miss me.
why didn't you just leave after we fooled around?
you let me down.
i let myself down.
i told myself i wasn't going to let this happen after last time.
i feel so fucking disgusting, cheap and dumb.
you won.
you got what you wanted: a cheap fucking whore.
i won't tell anyone if you won't.
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[26 Oct 2006|01:38am] |
the user name 'jusastupidgirl' wouldnt let me reply to comments so i have to use this. sorry about that.
butt yeah- my secret is still that were engaged
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[26 Oct 2006|01:39am] |
the user name 'jusastupidgirl' wouldnt let me reply to comments so i have to use this. sorry about that.
butt yeah- my secret is still that were engaged
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[26 Oct 2006|02:52pm] |
i feel more for animals than humans
because they really dont control most of their lives
yeah, i know im a horrible person for not really crying about starving children.
if i lived in africa i would care, i just dont see it, i need to see something to really feel it.
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[26 Oct 2006|05:21pm] |
It makes me feel secure. For once.. I'm not being used. I'm the one with the power.
I'm not going to abuse it though. I don't want Josh to feel the way I used to.
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[26 Oct 2006|07:06pm] |
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I'm happy just the way things are.
I like only hooking up w/ you once in awhile....
& not being commited.
I like being only your friends.
Do things always have to change?
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[26 Oct 2006|07:09pm] |
Secret 1
Everytime I feel sad I spend the day with my best friend or my dad.
My best friend is grounded. So I called my dad from school.
& asked him to come pick me up so we could spend the day together.
He came & picked me up.
I know he doesn't realize it & I know it sounds silly,
but the conversation that we had made me even sadder.
Him:What do you want to do?
Me: I don't know I just need to not be here.
Him:You want to go shopping?
Is that all he thinks I do? Shop? I know it sounds silly but ugh it just hurts.
Secret 2:
This is going to make me sound like such a spoiled little princess... ugh.
I spent about $1,500 yet I'm upset [not mad] with my dad for not buying me a purse I saw as we were walking out.
Even though he told me we would go back sometime next week to get it.
I'm still upset because... well I want it now.
I swear I appreciate everything I have.
& I really do love my dad.
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| No picture. I suck. |
[26 Oct 2006|07:27pm] |
Even though I act like I'm just friends with you and I don't care that you're taking her to homecoming,
I'm really really jealous.
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[26 Oct 2006|08:19pm] |
This is quite dumb. I stopped being able to sleep because I am worried about my algebra class. I am currently getting an A but I mean, I'm sure I failed my last test....I am putting WAY too much pressure on myself... I know that.
But I'm scared because it's getting to be like before. Does it mean that I am going to stop eating and get headaches and need to go to the doctor's again?
Fuck
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[26 Oct 2006|09:03pm] |
My old best friend who I haven't talked to in about 4 months was recently committed.
When she told me and I laughed because we always wondered who would be first out of us.
Then she told me it was my fault.
But I can't understand what I did wrong, we've never had a fight, we just...drifted away I guess.
I really feel horrible, like I could have helped her but didn't...she was probably the best friend I've ever had...she understood me and I though I understood her...
I'm sorry.
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[26 Oct 2006|10:17pm] |
I hate PETA so fucking much.
They're an organization of closed-minded, militant idiots.
Their campaigns are DISGUSTING, including the brochure above, which they handed out to KIDS. Let's not mention the one that compared farm animal slaughter to NAZI GENOCIDE. They try to "shock" people into joining them by showing some gory animals. Guess what? People are going to kill and eat animals whether you throw your fucking red paint on my fur coat or not.
They fund terrorist organizations to blow up animal research labs and other stupid shit like that when if it weren't for animal testing, we wouldn't have HALF the approved medication and cures for diseases we do today.
PETA will do anything it takes for "total animal liberation," (which by the way, means NO PETS, including seeing-eye dogs) no matter how immoral it is.
Too bad they killed 1,946 animals last year, and 14,419 since 1998.
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[26 Oct 2006|11:11pm] |
no matter how hard i try not to, i constantly compare myself to others to the point that i don't want to go to school or out with friends. i'm sick of being the thick girl with the weird voice. i just want to be normal.
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[26 Oct 2006|11:50pm] |
I'm so afraid that you would forget about me when i'm gone.
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