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Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 20 most recent ones recorded in
Big Dave's Blurty:
| Friday, April 30th, 2004 | |
| 3:22 pm | Here's your freakin' update........ 1) Fraternity - citations are stressing me out... but our last meeting is Sunday. Yeehaw! 2) School - over, as of today. Just finals left. 3) Family - parents still don't like me not living at home, though I basically have for the last week and a half. I miss Murray, I miss Amanda, and I miss living in my own place. But soon enough, that'll all be fixed. 4) Amanda - speaking of which. :) Things are okay. We've been going through some rough times lately. I think we're both just too scared at this point of losing what a great thing it is we have, and we're being paranoid. But I think we're okay... pretty sure, anyway. I hope so. And if you're reading, babe... I love you. LOTS. 5) Other friends - Sarah and Steven are having issues. Steven lied to me (things there are... okay... now... sort of), and she was from all indications GOING to go out with him again... but that's apparently been postponed or dropped after the revelations of last nights events. Regardless, there's oodles of drama there. But they're big kids. They'll work it out, I guess. If Steve will stop lying. ;) Anyway... that's about it. Oodles out. |
| Monday, April 19th, 2004 | |
| 3:04 pm | Happy Birthday, babe. Amanda's birthday is today. 23 years old at 8:07pm tonight. I love ya, darlin. Hope you have a good one. Oodles straight at ya, Dave |
| Friday, April 16th, 2004 | |
| 10:40 pm | Sarah said I needed to update... so here it is. Not a lot has changed since the last update... except that I finally lavaliered Amanda. :) She means so much to me. I was just happy that 1) everything went well, 2) the quartet didn't suck, 3) she accepted my letters, and 4) she finally has them. I love you, babe. Glad I can show you, even in such a seemingly small way. Hope you know that. I also hope all of you are having truly wonderful days. SB&D is tomorrow. Yay. Oodles out. |
| Wednesday, April 14th, 2004 | |
| 7:37 pm | Lots of news. Fraternity's going well. Family life is good. Amanda's not so good. She has a little cousin (10 years old) with cancer. She's had a bad weekend, and I'm trying my hardest to cheer her up... I think she'll be okay. She's just had a lot thrown at her over the last weekend. We're good... solid as ever. Things are just stressful right now due to everything going on. Oodles of lovin at ya, babe. It'll all be okay. Steve and I spent a good deal of this week together, as Amanda was rather busy with sorority stuff. Had some good times, and improved my Halo skills. Sarah and I have been at each others' throats the last week or so. But we're still buds (mostly because I win all the fights). J/K, Sarah. :) Everything else is okay. Ready for school to be over for a while... maybe be moving out of 100B S. 13th soon... we'll see. Hope all of you are having great days. Oodles out. |
| Friday, April 9th, 2004 | |
| 1:58 am | Sleeping in the studio tonight... Yep. Left Amanda's an hour or so ago... started driving home, thinking about how nice my jersey knit sheets were going to feel after a long day. Only to realize that I gave Lee (my roomie) my keys to the apartment yesterday... and he'd locked the door. So... luckily, I had a blanket and pillow in the car. Broke into the music building, and thought I'd rant about my stupidity on here. Figured it's as good a place as any. :) Anyway... everything else is going decent, I guess. Amanda has her birthday party at home this weekend, assuming all goes well. She has a cousin that may have cancer... so if tests come back positive, the weekend might be spent with the family going to Louisville to be there for him. So we'll see. She and I are doing very well... just hating how little time it seems we're able to spend with each other. Everything's stressful now at the end of the semester, I guess... and we're doing our best. It's just not near enough time for either of us to be content with. Maybe that will get better in the coming weeks. I love you, babe. Everything else is going better. Glad to see the end of the semester on the horizon. Ready to get out of here. :) Oodles out. Dave Current Mood:  aggravatedCurrent Music: The air conditioning unit (next door) of the fine arts dept. |
| Monday, April 5th, 2004 | |
| 10:55 pm | Oodles of updates this time. First off, I'm going to be a busy guy this fall. I'm president of Phi Mu Alpha, chairman of Campus Lights, and Low Brass Caption Section Leader for Racer Band. Plus, I'll have school. But I'm going to be alright. I'm sure of it. The only real job of those three is the first, and we have a lot of great guys in the fraternity now that will help me out considerable. Secondly, but technically more importantly, is Amanda. She forgave my stupidity, and we're doing wonderful. My only gripe right now with our relationship is the fact that us not seeing each other much is getting a little bit too much the norm. Guess that's what happens, though, when two busy people decide to be with each other. Family life is good. My faith is growing daily. School is going fine. I'm a happy guy, and it's been a while since I've been able to say that to myself. Things are looking good. Oodles out. Current Mood:  refreshed |
| Tuesday, March 30th, 2004 | |
| 11:36 am | Well... I screwed up. Made a mistake, lied to Amanda, and shot myself in the face. Feel like crap, want to die, and feel simply awful for hurting when she did nothing to provoke or encourage what I did. Why do people feel compelled to lie when they think it will make someone feel better about a situation? Do we honestly think it's going to feel better than lying to them? Do we seriously think it's not ever going to hurt them that we lie to them? Do we somehow reason that sparing them a small amount of upsetness warrents being completely dishonest to them? I don't know why I did what I did anymore. I have no clue. I'm just sorry that I did it, especially over something so trivial. Now I'm just left hoping that someway, somehow, I can win the trust back from the only girl I've ever been in love with. Here's hoping. Oodles out. |
| Friday, March 26th, 2004 | |
| 2:11 pm | I love my girlfriend.... A lot. She tries so hard to make everyone around her happy, and worries so much when she thinks someone could be upset with her. I just wish that for once, she'd live and do things for herself because SHE wanted to. Or not do something because SHE DIDN'T want to. Unless, that is, she's only with me because I want her to be. ;) I love you, darlin. More than words can say. Can't wait to see you tonight. Oodles at ya, and anyone reading this. Hope you're all having a good day. Dave |
| Sunday, March 14th, 2004 | |
| 3:13 am | John got married yesterday. Got to see the extended family, got a new sister (in law), Amanda came to see me... good times. I'm preaching this morning. I haven't slept in a while. But I'm getting ready to go get a FEW hours... Bet the sermon's not going to be my best ever. Ye..... I'm dying. Oodles out. |
| Wednesday, March 10th, 2004 | |
| 1:27 pm | Wow. Lots of things going on right now. We've had so much fraternity drama that it sickens me. Sometimes I really believe we're just hanging on by a thread... and then someone says something that seems to strike a chord, and everything's good again. We just don't have the communication we need, I think. We think so much of each other that we don't want to offend one another... yet we'll talk to OTHERS about our problems with an active. It just doesn't make sense. If and when I become president, that's going to change. This is bullcrap. It'll all be good in a few weeks. School is freaking starting to kick my butt all over the place. So I'm beginning to get a little stressed out over it all. But I'll make it, I'm sure. It's just going to require me taking a little bit more time out of my day to study. John's getting married to Jessica Saturday afternoon. We've been working non-stop on the house this week to try and get them ready to move in for post-marriage. I know John will be happy when it's over. I KNOW all of us will be. It's just cost too many in the family too much sleep, too much time, and too much grief. But it's almost over, now. So we'll be all good, I think. Family life is getting better. I'm still getting a little bit of grief sometimes concerning the amount of time I devout to them... and I've resolved to work on that; because I realize that I have drawn myself away from them. And my family's too important to me for me to do that to them. Then there's Amanda... the one thing that seems to be going right and helping me get through all the crap in my life. I love you so much, babe. The only problem we're having right now is that we haven't really been able to be with each other very much lately, as both of us are uber busy. I'm hopeful that maybe Spring Break (next week) will help that a little bit. I want it to. Because us being together and not seeing each other sucks pretty bad. We'll be alright, though (I think). So long as she doesn't get fed up with it and break up with me. ;) That's about all that's going on with my life right now... hope all of you are having great days. Oodles out. P.S. Good luck to all the SAI's tonight at the stepshow, and to all the probationary members of Phi Mu Alpha in their class recital tonight. Current Mood: eh... aight. Current Music: The MSU Concert Choir Concert |
| Wednesday, March 3rd, 2004 | |
| 6:42 pm | Drama sucks. Hard. And right now, it's flowing over from the fraternity. Too many people have short fuses, and it's starting to work on mine. I'm a pretty patient fella... but crap. People just need to find better ways of venting, I think. But I'm hoping everything will start to straighten up soon. Officer elections are coming soon... maybe that will change some things. Amanda and I are doing very well. I love her a lot, and more with each passing day. She's been the one thing over the last week or so that's kept me going. Thanks, babe. School's starting to get dull once again. So I'm adding (I think) some half-semester courses. We'll see how that goes. Right now, I just want to quit everything, find a job working somewhere crappy and teach band camps for the rest of my life. It'd make everything so great... except I wouldn't be happy. Dang it. Hope everyone out there's having a great one. My night will get better. Tonight's my single favorite night for the whole probationary process in the fraternity, and I'm assuming it will help me cheer up a bit. I've been depressed most of this week... and for the life of me, I can't figure out why. I dunno. Maybe it'll be explained soon enough. Oodles out. Dave Current Mood: good |
| Thursday, February 26th, 2004 | |
| 8:02 am | So yesterday was blah. Started out not-so-wonderful, as I woke up a little late. Met with Chris Yoo and Chuck Morris at 10:00 at the coffee shop to check our status in terms of which actives had paid their dues, etc. Come to find out, we had to place ten on suspension... that's like... half the fraternity. Suck. Then I went to the library. Saw Amanda. Chatted with her a while, then went to class. Classes today sucked. Jazz I was a joke, and our director went off on us and said we sucked. Symphonic band has a concert tonight... I'm gonna see if I can get my name left off the program. We're really that bad. Went to church, and things started to pick up. Church was good. Talked to family there, saw some friends, felt a lot better when I left. Went to Amanda's. She wasn't there. Waited about 20 minutes and she came in. We visited, hung out with Sarah a while, and talked. I got to help Sarah make a leprechaun (sp?) for her class tomorrow. While fun, it apparently infuriated Amanda, because it took away time that she had hoped to spend with me. This led to a small argument between the two of us, and when I left, things didn't seem too great. But I'm not too worried, either. Both of us had long days... just kind of had hoped for a better night. Especially since we're going to be unable to see each other this weekend (I have quad-state band, she has a sorority trip). Suck. I guess I'll just look forward to Sunday. Anyway... I left there and called Steve Stone. He wanted to talk a while, and I gave in. Which I'm now thankful for, because we had a good time.... gnarly time, that is. Totally tubular. Skate or die, Mark. Skate or freaking die. And it kind of cheered me up. Maybe gave me a good start for a new day (Thursday, now). Thanks, Steve. Hope I was some sort of help to you, too. Anyway... hope all of you are having wonderful days. I'm sure I will. Oodles out. Current Mood:  okay |
| Monday, February 23rd, 2004 | |
| 10:38 am | So I went to the rodeo for the first time in my life this past Saturday night. Saw a bunch of guys get thrown off, saw a few get hurt, and saw some youngsters ride the crap out of some sheep. Also ate a funnel cake too fast, and got sick later that night because of it. But it was well worth it. I had a blast, and got to spend some time with Amanda and her family (and friends). Fun times, indeed. Speaking of Amanda... I love her. And though this week has been a rough one for me, and though we've had a few arguments that didn't make me feel too terribly secure about how she felt about me... I DO know without a doubt what I feel for her. And there's not another word for it than love. Oodles at ya, sweetie. I love you more than you know. The fraternity's dealings are going really well. I've got to get a few things together and get the ball moving on a few things... but all in all, I'm really pleased with the way things are going. We're really starting to come together as a group. Family life is going good, too. We really came together for each other this weekend with the news of a family friend's discover of colon cancer. Spent a good majority of the weekend together, and I got reminded how lucky I am to have a family like the one that I do. They're a little over-protective and demanding of my time every now and then... but to know it's because they love me and miss me makes it easier to deal with. Oodles to you guys, too. I love all of ya... even you, John. Not a lot else going on. School's going pretty well - can't complain, anyway. Fannin's got me in charge of solo & ensemble of March 6th - that should be fun. Quad-State Band is coming up THIS week... and that should be just tons of fun. Bad news of the week is that Amanda will be out of town all weekend. But I'm assuming that I'll find something to do. Oodles out. Dave |
| Thursday, February 19th, 2004 | |
| 7:17 pm | Why can't people be content with what they have? ... Oodles out. |
| Monday, February 16th, 2004 | |
| 10:33 am | This should really be broke into a bout four entries... but I don't want to split them up, because I'm lazy. 1) Had some bad times last week. Those of you that read this probably either know, knew, assumed, or had no idea that I broke things off with Amanda last Thursday. It took me until late Friday afternoon to reach my final decision concerning what to do with us... and it was basically a realization that I could not be happy with myself at all unless I gave me and her another chance. Because I love her too much... and even though I believe I had a derned good reason to break up (even if momentarily), I think I made a better one in deciding to try again. We're not where we were... but we're where we need to be. Which is in love. And I'll take that, right now. :) 2) Valentine's Day this year was my first ever where I wasn't single through the day. It's more fun with a Valentine. I hope all of you reading this either have or will experience it. I had a blast. 3) Ongoing drama... I think Steve and I are slowly forcing ourselves to become best friends. I look at him now, and hardly recognize him in some ways... for the better. I'm not sure what or who decided to make the changes to his life that he's made... I know of a few that might have HELPED... but I'm glad he's done them. I can look at him now, and tell anyone that he's a great guy and mean it (sorry, pal... I couldn't, when I first met you). He's still got some things to work on... but oodles all of over the place to you, bud. Oodles. 4) SLEEP. That's right. Haven't had it. Yet. Since Sunday at 8:00am. You look at the time. I want to die. I think I've had a cummulative sleep total of about 12 hours since Wednesday night... and it's ALL catching up to me RIGHT NOW. GAH!!!!! Oh, well. I'm meeting Steve shortly. Then I'm dying on the bed. Things will be much better soon. Oodles out. P.S. - I think I just agreed to do Racer Band next fall. Thanks, babe. :( P.P.S. - I ACTUALLY think it might be fun this year. Seriously. We'll see. ;) |
| Thursday, February 12th, 2004 | |
| 3:11 am | Sad times for Dave... I'm upset. I'm bitter. I'm REALLY pissed off. And I've never in my life been in such a low spot as I am now. I hope I get out of this funk. Sucks. Hard. Tonight was the worst night I've had in 24 years. Oodles out. |
| Wednesday, February 11th, 2004 | |
| 2:09 pm | Six Months... :) Yep. Me and Amanda celebrate six months of dating today. It doesn't really seem like that much time has passed sometimes, and then other days, it seems like I can't remember not being with her. Regardless of what day, I know that I'm grateful for every second that I have spent with her and look forward to spending more with her in the future. I love you, babe. |
| Tuesday, February 10th, 2004 | |
| 12:45 pm | Took Amanda and Sarah to Chuck E. Cheese last night. We had an incredibly good time. I acted like more of a kid than half the little guys and gals that were there... but I don't think I embarrassed Amanda. If I did - sorry, babe. Couldn't help it. ;) Steve's sick, which sucks. I think he got it from 1009 and/or Mark, all of whom have been passing it around for a while. Oodles at ya, bro. Hope you get to feeling better soon. Everything else is going okay, short of a brief moment of worry caused by a statement Amanda's dad said about me... but I'm feeling fine about things now. Fraternity is going really well, and I'm looking forward to the coming months a LOT. John had some bad news concerning his house... looks like we may be about $6000 short of what we need to finish it... but he THINKS we can make due until he gets his job back (he was laid off by General Tire recently). Things are good. School's even going well. Oodles out. |
| Wednesday, February 4th, 2004 | |
| 10:44 am | I notice I have a bit of a tendency to not post for a while, and then post uber-long messages... so I'm going to try to post more often and eliminate this problem. ;) Things are good. Took Amanda out to Outback this evening after a very enjoyable day with little to do. It was all good. Song session for the fraternity was tonight. Turnout was kind of poor, but KMEA is this week, so that's understandable. A lot of us are in Louisville this week. Everything's going well... I'm tired... but short of that, I can't complain a bit. |
| Monday, February 2nd, 2004 | |
| 11:27 am | Oodles of updates... 1) The little lady. Yeah... we had some very shaky times this past weekend. Things went from being great between us to being deathly bad to us almost breaking up. I didn't sleep much at all, and took a few years off of my life... but we're "okay" now (just kidding, babe). We talked a while, cried a while (I did, anyway... she went and hung out with friends... I guess to get her mind off of things... or maybe she got over it that quick), and in the end realized that though the weekend sucked, we were still very much in love. I love her SO much... this weekend made me realize that. And though I can't look into the future and see what is to come, I know that I don't want us to ever have another weekend like this one. And I don't think we will. Oodles of lovin' straight at ya, babe. Oodles. 2) Steve He's going through some hard times right now, and I want to help him out. But I'm unsure as to the best way(s) to do that. He's got family problems, him and Sarah are not in their best state ever, he's trying to find out what he thinks religiously, and he's got school... plus a job he's wanting to find. I'm good at handling stress... but that seems a bit more than even I could take. I can't really TAKE any of those problems and try to help him with it anymore than I'm doing right now... but I want to do something. He's a really good bud, and I hate to see him in this crap. If you're reading this bro... let me know if I can help. You know I will. 3) Sarah I tend to stay very cautious and on-my-toes around friends of any girls that I'm dating, simply because I realize that if I tick them off, that I stand in jeopardy of having a not-so-happy girlfriend. Sarah, however, is quickly becoming a very close friend. She's helped me out tremendously over the past few weeks with Amanda and I really feel like I can say anything to her and not have to worry about me and Amanda. Because I think of Sarah now as one of MY friends, too... not just "the girlfriend's friend." Which is cool. Oodles to you too, miss. 4) School Eh. It's going. I'm just so tired of it and want to get out. Stupid classes... 5) Church I'm feeling about as solid as I've ever felt about my faith. I've been doing a TON of reading, studying, and praying as of late because I want to make for certain that what I'm believing is the one truth that the Bible speaks of so often. I've honestly been working hard with this for about three months, now, and for several reasons. First, I have Amanda. We're getting pretty serious... and I know that eventually, this is an issue that will have to be resolved. So I want to make sure I believe what I believe because I know it's the truth - not because it's what I've been taught to believe. Secondly, I've started studying with Steve... and I don't want to teach him something that's not true. Because that would be me teaching him error, and thus possibly keeping him (and me) out of heaven. Not cool. Lastly, I'm doing it because I think it's good, regardless, to challenge yourself and what you believe. Just so you'll grow stronger. Yeah... I'm liking it a lot. Hope God is, too. 6) The fraternity Wow. Things are going so well right now. Much to the chagrin of Amanda, I'm helping out more this semester than I have before, and really trying to get things going in the right direction. I'm CONSIDERING running for president when the office becomes available this March/April. I think I can do a good job, and I'd also kind of like to follow in the steps of my big brother (Andy Shelton - president his last year). We had our first function last Saturday night, and I think everyone had a great time. I know that I did. I can't wait for the next one, though. It's my favorite. 7) Family Got to visit with Mom a whole lot this last weekend, and it reminded me how much I really love and miss seeing everyone. With me at school, John and Jason working, Beth with the kids, and Dad off in who-knows-where with work, it's hard for me to see everyone as much as I'd like. I'm going to try and work on fixing that a bit this semester. They mean too much to me to let weeks and months pass by without seeing them at anything other than church. 8) Life, in general... is going pretty good, though. I'm trying to remain calm and content with everything that's been taking place, and doing (I believe) a pretty decent job of it. Hate that the Panthers didn't win the Superbowl last night, but I wasn't really a big fan of either team. Just routing for the underdog, I guess. 9) For the moment, though... I'm getting ready to head to Lovett to get some mics that were SUPPOSED to be turned in LAST MONDAY. I'm hoping they don't make me pay the $350 extra that I'm sure Rowton's is going to demand. If so, I'm going to hate Pat Bray for eternity. And my checkbook is going to hate me. Guess that's it, for now. |