| 6:34a |
The Decision
The first part of the dream I had last nite is hardest to remember, as so many came after it - it was lost in that fuzzy haze. I was with Jeremy - happily so. We were just hanging out, and talking and I think we were in the plaryroom at Pa's. We talked about him moving in with me, now that he was out. I then had to leave quickly - as I was running late for a date with some friends.
I remember running down State St. with my clothes in hand, wearing only some panties. I stopped by some pay phones at the end of the street I live on (in reality there are none there) and put on my sweatshirt. The phones rang, and it was Spoon. Things had not worked out with his new love and he was talking about running off to nowhere. I told him, as I have countless times before in this waking world, that if things didn't work out here they wouldn't work out anywhere. He needed to stop running away and just stay in one place and *make* it work. He then said he was kind of hoping I would let him stay with me for awhile. My first thought was "hell no", but then a part of me kind of wanted it to be.
I told him I had to go - I ran home and Lauren, Jeremy (Lauren's Jeremy, not mine), Brand and my sister were waiting for me. Jeremy went ahead of us to get tickets to some show we were going to see at The Bayou (tickets were $44 for all of us - I remember that). When we got down there he was fighting with the bodyguard outside (a big, fat, nasty guy). He said he didn't remember Jeremy giving him any money - he'd pocketed our $44. We tried to calm Jeremy down and went to a little cafe across the street (in real life, there isn't one). The jerk followed us in there - I kept telling him he wanted to talk to the owner or manager of The Bayou. He was just fucking with us. As they were all arguing with him, I told Amber (my sis) my dilemna. "Jeremy and Spoon both want to move in with me! I have to choose one." She was shocked and said that really sucked - she understood that it was hard for me. I knew I was going to choose Jeremy, no doubt, but it hurt to cast Spoon aside when I knew he really needed me. Then the nasty bouncer grabs my sister's arm and starts hitting on her. I jumped up and cussed him, telling him to get his hands off my little sister.
Then the dream changes. My family and I are going to look at this trailer park we/they are thinking of moving into. It was very weird - even had it's own, small doctor's office on the grounds (where it boasted you could "have your baby" w/out ever leaving the park). It was actually a very nice place, and some of the homes there were actual small houses. We went inside to watch a video made by the park's owners (to show what living there was like). It was cheesy and took place in the 70s, obviously (had never been redone). Strangely, the video changed to this woman (the now deceased owner who was the mother of the woman showing us this) preparing baby panthers to be cooked! It was awful, they were talking about how they drugged the panthers, then killed them and cooked them. It was even showing footage of panthers in a zoo and telling how active they were and how the drugging effected them. She was "preparing" it, wrapping it up in this strange bag. She then went and got a big knife and was going to start cutting strips off of it - though drugged, IT WAS STILL ALIVE! I turned away - I didn't see her cut the baby panther. I found this part of the dream very odd as panthers are one of my totem animals.
The last part I remember is walking on this old, falling apart, wooden trailer with Mom. It was full of spiders - I remember seeing many spiders (and snakes around it). She was asking about Jeremy and I living together and I was telling her my hopes for our life. She said we might try hard, but may never make it past living a meager life in a trailer.
That was all.
Current Mood: contemplative |