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Tuesday, November 30th, 2004
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8:24 pm - Public Service Announcement
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| Wednesday, October 13th, 2004
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9:36 pm - "Let go..."
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Yeah, the previous entry wasn't the last entry. I think this one will be. I won't exactly give up this journal. It will just be "part one", I guess. My "new" journal is here. My life from March 2003-September 2004 will always stay here though.
The new journal is "friends only" so Mom won't read it (no offense, Mom). If you don't have a Livejournal, get one (even if it's just to read my journal). Comment in my journal and ask to be added - I'll probably add you (if you aren't my mom or someone like that).
This is kinda sad.
Yeah. I'd better stop this before I get too sad.
<3 always,
whether I be here or on LJ,
~Beth
current mood:  sad
current music: "Let Go", Frou Frou
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is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
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| Saturday, September 25th, 2004
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11:12 pm - "'Yeah!! Okay!! What!!'"
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I love this Blurty journal of mine. It's been with me through everything, it seems. But sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. Half of the time, I forget it exists because hardly anyone else has a Blurty. It makes more sense to keep a journal on a site where you have more people on your "Friends" page. *sigh* I wonder if I should move this journal to Livejournal? But the username would have to be different, because "angstypenguin" on LJ is my quiz journal.
"angstypenguin2"?
If I ever move my journal (which I hope I won't, but I might), this entry will not be my last entry.
Anyway, very brief summary of everything after Ligonier (not necessarily in chronological order because I've forgotten most things by now).
After Ligonier, I worked for one last week at Friends. On the Monday of that last week, Ryan came to visit me after camp. I broke up with him. I'm not sure exactly why... I had my reasons, and I guess I wanted some time alone.
But now I want him back, I think.
Grr.
I'm such a wishy washy person sometimes. Well, I'm indecisive, anyway.
After Friends Camp, Sarah went to Rehoboth Beach with Mom, Dad, Mom-mom, Pop-pop, and me for a week. We met a lot of people, and we also met up with Sam Kennedy and Aaron (the sorta albino friend of mine who goes to Carver) on the first day, because that was their last day at the beach. We went to the beach a lot, biked, shopped, and watched TV, mostly Boy Meets World. I forgot how much I loved that show. So now I watch it as often as I can, and I bought the first season DVD set. w00t. I <3 Boy Meets World.
After coming home from the beach, I went to S.A.M.'s birthday party. I saw a lot of my old friends there. Ed got his ears pierced at the MICA camp. I also re-met Michelle Caltrider. She's going to THS now. w00t. She's awesome.
Sometime after Ligonier but before the beach, I saw Charlie. I forget the exact date, but Charlie and I made plans for me to visit him in DC. My parents and I drove down in the minivan and we went to the Mall. We went to some Asian art museum and then a modern art museum. They were pretty fun. Then we went to the American City Cafe (I think that's what it's called) nearby his house, which is his favorite restaurant. We ordered milkshakes and talked music. Then we dropped Charlie off at his house and drove home. It was fun.
I miss Charlie and my Ligonier friends a lot.
I saw two good movies in August. I saw Napoleon Dynamite at the Charles with Mom and Caryn. And the day before school started, I saw Garden State with Mom at the Charles again. I liked both, but I really enjoyed Garden State. I want it when it comes out on DVD. And I want the soundtrack.
The first day of school was August 31. I'm a junior now, which is kinda creepy. I have good classes and good teachers, but I don't see as many of my friends now, which sucks.
And Ashley and Charlotte got expelled for a fake bomb threat in the first week or second week of school. I miss them both, but I feel so bad for Ashley and I miss her more because Charlotte blamed Ashley and other people for it, and wouldn't take the blame.
Our lunch table is lonely this year. I'm in Lunch B for once, but it sucks. Erin usually follows me and sits with me. Sometimes Maya will sit with me though, or sometimes I'll sit with Chelsea, Billy, Wes (who supposedly changed the spelling of his name to "Wess"), and Jake. However, I don't think they like it too much, especially when Erin follows me and sits down with us. I'm trying to be nice to Erin, because that's what Jesus would do (not to be cliché), but it's hard. I think I'm going to refer her (anonymously, of course) to the nurse's office. She worries me.
I made the Colophon staff, which is cool. I'm in the new Chess Club too. And I'll be in Anime Club and Young Greens when they start up, and Connections too (even though it's already started).
Truth Fails To Fall (formerly Chinese Food Stand a.k.a. CFS), DJ's band, released a new demo. It's awesome, and it's so much better than their old one. I think that Brian and Mike should still get singing lessons though. They sing well separately (they couldn't even sing well by themselves on their first CD), but when they sing together, it sounds weird a lot of the time. But it's still so awesome, and the fifth song cracks me up.
I IMed Murray. He's at college now. He finally apologized for ignoring me. I knew he was ignoring me. He said he felt bad about using me, and felt guilt every time I talked to him or he tried talking to me. But of course I accepted his apology and forgave him. So we're friends again. I'm really glad about that being resolved.
I think I was going to write something else, maybe, or I had an idea of what I was going to write about earlier and then forgot... but oh well. I have a bad short-term memory. And ADHD. *sigh*
Even though things are going relatively well because God's back in my life, Murray's talking to me again, I'm starting to forgive myself for various things, this school year's better class-wise mostly, etc., I still have this feeling of impending doom... once again, it sounds cliché and stupid, but I can't help it.
I'm going to watch SNL now. Well, when it comes on, anyway.
current mood:  bored
current music: "..." (track five), Truth Fails to Fall
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2 toys said yes. is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
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| Thursday, August 19th, 2004
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10:38 pm - Ligonier, session five 2004... and everything before it (no lyrics in this subject line).
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Man, I haven't written in here forever!! Wow... sorry about that. Anyway, I'm writing about Ligonier and everything before it.
On the Thursday or Friday before I left for Ligonier, I figured out that Travis and Pedro have been together for three years now. They make a cute couple, and I'm glad for them, I guess. I was just surprised at first, when I put two and two together.
The Friday before I left for Ligonier was my last day, not counting the last one week I spent at Friends when I got back from Ligonier. On that Friday, I took pictures of everyone. After camp, Brian chased Murray around and got two pictures of him. Murray was very pissed because almost no one takes pictures of him and he hates getting his picture taken. At least that's what he says. I apologized for that, and everything in general, and I wished him good luck in college. He thanked me, and we hugged. Then he drove away. A rather sad ending for a friendship.
The next day was Saturday: LIGONIER!! Mom, Dad, and I drove to Ligonier. When I got there, I saw a lot of people from previous years, like Jenni, Sunny, Chris, etc. I met my new Tribe 12 girls: Julie, Chelsea ("Che Che"), Anna, Caitlin, Nicole ("Nikki"), Meg (from last year's awesome Tribe 12!!), Ruth, Miriam, our awesome CIT Lindsay McCoy ("El Coy"), and our counselor Lauren. I was a little sad though, because Jenni and Sunny weren't in my tribe this year. They were in Tribe 11, even though they're probably the oldest girls at Ligonier. Oh, well. At least we were deckmates. The rest of the Tribe 11 girls were cool too. I became friends with Christina, Katherine, Meghan, and Brit *insert emu noise*. I was friends with Chrissy and Sarah (unfortunately, Meagie/Meghan, our friend from last year and the year before, did not come back this year) from last year. I was buddies with the other girls, too.
Along with Chris being a CIT again, Ben and Colleen (from Storm) were CITs, too.
And Charlie a.k.a. Bagel a.k.a. Bagel Boy, one of the coolest kids from last year, was back.
I also made some new friends, including K.T. and Adam, who are friends with Charlie.
This year's theme was "No Need to Fear, The Underdogs Are Here! 1 Corinthians 1:27-29". Ligonier in general was much needed for me, as I was pretty much spiritually drained, but this theme was perfect for me. God really does work wonderfully. I needed this theme so badly.
The dinner wide game skits this year featured Harry Potter's girl relative (cousin?) Carrie Potter trying to teach dancing lessons at her Disco Dancing School to Sauron, the flaming eyeball (a black towel with an orange and pink flower in the center), a student (one of the counselors... erg!! I forget his name!! but one of the coolest guy counselors) and his log, Log, and the Prisoner of Azkabedpan and her rock, Rock.
That sentence probably didn't make much sense, but... oh, well. In the end, Log and Rock reunited. w00t!!
We Tribe 12 girls adopted Tribe 1 as our little sisters and Tribe 6 as our second cousins.
Also, I became closer friends with a lot of people, especially Charlie. We were able to talk about a lot of our problems with each other. Charlie's really understanding, kind, and he's not judgmental. He's also very mature for a thirteen year old boy. He gave me the nickname "Beth Friend" because it's supposed to be like he's calling me "best friend" but with a lisp.
The two weeks went extremely freakishly fast, but were so awesome. During nighttime devotions, Lauren read to us Tribe 12 girls The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. I went on the climbing tower (some of us went climbing, others went caving). I was planning on white water rafting, but I scraped some skin off my foot at the Tribe 11 vs. Tribe 12 dance off on the concrete on the side of the pool during Water Olympics. It hurt really badly and I could barely walk on it. However, I still did high ropes and the zipline. I <3 the zipline.
I can't remember each day perfectly, unfortunately.
I wrote Murray a letter of apology. I don't want our friendship to end. However, Dad took the list of numbers I wrote down from my old cell phone so he could put them in a directory or something before my new cell phone started working (and then he lost the list). So I lost Murray's cell phone number, and I can't call him and find out if he got the letter.
I also wrote a letter to Abby L. at her camp. I hope she got her letter.
I wrote Mom and Dad two letters, and they sent me a card and some Pocky.
Ryan and Maya wrote me letters. I wrote Ryan back, but I didn't have time to write back to Maya.
I got stung twice by a wasp on the first Thursday, I think, in the Arts and Crafts hall. That and my foot led to me becoming friends with the nurses and the Infirmary. The second week nurses, the von Steins, had a sweet dog, a golden retreiver mutt, named Annabelle.
I think we had our "overnight" on Friday. Lauren left Friday afternoon to go to a Dispatch concert in Boston, so Lydia was our counselor for the next two days. Lydia and Lindsay helped us set up our tarps in our camping spot. Jesse came around on the red moped and helped us make our fire (it was hard, because everything was wet and muddy). After we ate dinner (I had an Uncrustables instead of a hot dog), some counselors came around and told us there were severe thunderstorms headed our way so we couldn't be out any later than nine o'clock. We decided to go into the creek because we figured we could change and shower when we headed back to the KYBO and cabins. So we had all of the fun of an overnight, but also had fun playing Consequences and then sleeping in our cabins.
On the first Saturday, we had movie night. This year's movie was the first Muppets movie. It was so fun. I <3 Muppets, and I wore my "Nothing comes between me and my Kermit" shirt the next day (after church).
I forget what day Tribes 1-6 had their overnight, but I think it was the second Monday or Tuesday. Tribes 7-12 had a coffeehouse skit night thing going on in the Rec Deck. We Tribe 12 girls performed a skit that Caitlin had thought up at hockey camp but we changed it to fit Ligonier. It was "Ligonier Anonymous". I was addicted to cabin cleanup. The skit was really funny. And there was a lot of talent in all of the different acts performed throughout that night.
But on the second Wednesday, there was a tornado warning for the county, so we huddled in the basement of the Lodge for a while, and it was fun. When the warning passed, some state park officials brought a tranquilized bear to the Pavilion so we could pet it before they let it go into the wilderness. It was interesting, but kinda weird.
I forget which day I wrote Charlie the note, but I think it was the second Wednesday. It was basically thanking him for understanding everything, telling him how cool he was, how I was sad about his problems, and that I loved him. Anyway, on Thursday, Charlie gave me a note he wrote for me. It was the sweetest note ever.
I put it in the box I made (well, decorated) at the Arts and Crafts hall.
Later that day, K.T. took a picture of us together on my camera. It turned out nicely, thanks to Charlie.
The second Thursday night was the Night at the Theatre. Since I was in the choir elective, we (the choir and I) had to perform two songs. I was slightly nervous. Not in a stage fright way, because I don't get that quite as often anymore, and I prayed to God about it. However, I had only been to two of the five elective times because my tribe had wilderness activities and whatnot the other three times electives happened to be scheduled. We did fine, but it made my night when Charlie yelled out, "Yay, Beth Friend!!" I grinned so wide, like a Cheshire Cat. I just couldn't help it.
The second Friday night was the last night, so it was the night to announce the color team winners and light the candles. We Tribe 12 girls tried to win cabin cleanup that day, and we drew a bonus to go with the theme (and it included Spiderman, Storm, Sailor Moon, and Sailor Jupiter). And we won cabin cleanup!! It was the first time all summer that any girls' Tribe 12 had won cabin cleanup. We got to hold the Flaming Horse of Glory statue and keep it at our table. It was righteous.
Also, we Tribe 12 girls were on the red team... and we WON!!!! We kissed the Golden Shoe trophy, and sung "We Are The Champions". Then the guys and girls had their singing "match" (girls sung "Ain't No Mountain").
We Tribe 12 girls also won Tribe of the Term, which was awesome!! I've never won cabin cleanup or Tribe of the Term with any tribe before, so it was just amazing!!
For the candlelighting, we had a campfire, but it started raining, so by the end of the night, we were in the Pavilion. It was a bit like last year, in that sense. I got a four year candle, since it was my fourth summer at Ligonier. I dripped a lot of wax on my hand and made a large wax lump. I almost cried, except I don't seem to have tear ducts.
It was probably one of the best days of my life.
On Saturday morning, our last morning (not even a full day), Sunny and I ran over to the forbidden boys' cabin area (it's okay on the last morning). We sat on the deck of Cabins 5 and 6 and talked to Chris (he was the CIT for Tribe 5) and Charlie (he was in Tribe 6). The photo of Charlie and me was the last one on my camera, so I told Chris that my dad could take a picture of us on his digital camera.
SCRAM was cool, and the Stomp elective got to perform (again, since they had performed at Night at the Theatre). It was awesome, but bittersweet, sad because we had to go.
Dad took photos since my camera had run out of pictures, so he got the annual photo of Chris and me. He also got another photo of me with Charlie.
It was an awesome session and, like last year's session five, I will never forget this year's session five.
Session five, never say die.
I doubt I'll put up any pictures, but I'd like to, so maybe I will, if I remember. I'll write up Charlie's note, scratchouts and typos and all, in a private entry. And I'll write everything post-Ligonier in another entry.
Thank you, God, for an awesome session five this year.
current mood:  nostalgic
current music: the new Taking Back Sunday CD (in my head)
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4 toys said yes. is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
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| Saturday, July 24th, 2004
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10:14 pm - I'd write a real entry, but there's no time...
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Since I'm going to be away for the next two weeks (yay for camp Ligonier!!), from tomorrow (July 25th) to August 7th, I want everyone to write me.
My camp address (I'm pretty sure it's right and I really hope it's right):
Beth Morgan, Tribe 12
Ligonier Camp & Conference Center
188 Macartney Lane
Ligonier PA 15658
<3
~Beth
P.S. I'll write a real entry when I get back.
current mood:  cheerful
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1 toy said yes. is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
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| Wednesday, July 21st, 2004
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9:50 pm - "Day by day, day by day, oh dear Lord, three things I pray..."
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Considering I only write in this journal once a week or less, chances are that I won't write again until I get back from Ligonier.
For the second week of Digital Diary, my campers finished up their videos. Their videos are pretty cool. I wish I had a Mac, iTunes, iMovie, and a video camera. Then I'd be spurring out artsy movies like a motherpunker.
I didn't see Murray in The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. I feel bad about it, but I don't think he wanted me to be there. Also, I couldn't get tickets. So I saw Godspell at Friends. I knew about a third of the cast (Merkle, Erin, Rob, and Alex S. from Storm) and a third of the people there.
Godspell was so AWESOME.
It was sort of like the movie, except live, and it had its own little quirks and moderations and updates. I almost cried when Jesus died (even though it was obviously going to happen). But it was also wildly hilarious and lively, and it made me want to get up and dance and sing. They were all such good actors and singers. And the one guy named Dave was hot. Jeremy, Seth and Scott's friend, looked pretty cool on the stage too (but I think it was the funky cool clothes). It was also cool, because for the Prodigal Son scene, they pulled Seth up on stage to be the Prodigal Son mime. It was so great. I met Seth's girlfriend, Katie, there, during the intermission. She was really nice and had cool shiny red boots.
I want to try out for Friends Summer Stock next year, even though I probably wouldn't make it.
I also convinced Erika to let me work as a CIT on the fifth week and the eighth week. She okayed it, so now I'm a CIT for the Tech camp this week.
Kim, the director of the computer camps from last year, is being a counselor in our group. Pedro and Erika are, of course, the head counselors again (along with Kim). Miranda is back as our CIT.
My campers are Cheyenne (again), Amelia (again), Kanika (again), Miah (again), Erica, Dalia, Evan (a girl), David, Eugene, George, William... and that's all I can remember. We combine our group with Wow What A Webpage for a lot of things. Travis teaches Wow What A Webpage now, and Ben is the CIT. Their campers are January, Cristina, Isabelle, and Suzanna (sp?), who are close to my age (fourteen years old, twelve years old, twelve years old, and ten years old), and then some other guy camper.
Emma works at Friends now (she's back from the William and Mary camp). She had a crush on a guy named Sasha there, and he had a crush on her. However, they aren't having a long distance relationship (yet). Leah is still at Friends, but she's a camper in Rock Shop (with that hot twelve year old guy, Hunter). I have no idea where David disappeared to, but that's okay, because he'll being going to THS in the fall. I don't know where Meg or Jeremy went either. Abby went to this sleepaway camp in Maryland, but on IM, she gave me the address for it, so I'll write her, I guess.
Erika found out from Merkle that I wasn't eating all of my lunch, so she had a little talk with me. She watches me, and I eat my lunch.
When I went to the ED center yesterday for the usual appointments, plus the new group therapy, I weighed 120.9 pounds.
I was, and still am, speechless. Wordless. 120.9 pounds?!
I decided that Travis is hot. I told Pedro and he thought it was funny, but in a cute way. Travis is, unfortunately, twenty five years old and a teacher at Friends. Oh, well. We're just friends from work, and that's good enough for me. I still think he's hot, though. Haha. I wouldn't act on the thought, though (aside from telling Pedro what I think).
Ryan (my shy friend from Robots and Rockets) and I are finally getting it together. We finally decided that we are boyfriend and girlfriend, and are going out or whatever (after a week of just knowing we had crushes on each other and kissing a few times). He asked me out this morning. I accepted, of course. I have to figure out the details for the date though. We took our break together in the auditorium. Yay for kissing breaks!! #^^#;
My thoughts are so ADHD tonight.
I'm sad it's Wednesday already though, because there's only Thursday and Friday left at Friends. But then I go to Ligonier camp for two weeks, and then I come back to Friends for one week. So it all's good.
AIM disconnected. I'm going to try unplugging the router, and then plugging it back in, and see if that gets things back to normal. So enough of my random ADHD writing. I tend to get pissed at myself when I write, because my mind wanders everywhere and I have to write down everything. Heehee.
current mood:  tired
current music: "Day By Day" from Godspell
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3 toys said yes. is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
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| Sunday, July 11th, 2004
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4:13 am - "And if you leave here, you leave me broken, shattered..."
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It's 3:40 in the am.
WHY THE FUCK AM I STILL UP?!
I can't get to sleep.
This is the latest I've stayed up since... since I don't know when. Maybe the last Storm lock-in or whatever when I stayed up the whole night?
Anyway, this week was le suck. And le sad. And le short. Looks like next week will be too.
On Tuesday, it was my first day of the Digital Diary camp. My campers are Amelia, Amanda, Alec, the twins Susie and Lyssa (whom I can tell apart), Zoey, Caroline, and Jack (from the previous two weeks' Tech camp). Jasmine is the Head Counselor and Travis is the instructor. I switch off to Tech camp with Sam, a CIT, during swim hour. Pedro and Erica are the counselors for Tech camp again. The campers are Cheyenne (also from the previous two weeks' Tech camp), Chitachi (spelling?), Adonna (sp?), Asha, Carrie, Omari, Maia (sp?), and... I think that's it.
The Digital Diary camp is fun with the video taping and everything, and my campers and the counselors are pretty cool, as usual.
But Murray's got a new girlfriend, Amanda, who is involved in The Wonderful Wizard of Oz production that he's in. He got to know her better (he hardly knew her before) because she set them up for some date. I don't really mind, except perhaps I'm a bit jealous. Okay, I am jealous. Maybe it's not even her that's making me jealous, but maybe it's the production itself. He couldn't give me rides home last week and I doubt he will be able to this week. The production is taking its toll on Murray. He's always tired and busy and barely talks to me anymore. And he tells me to take care of myself. Ha. He needs to take care of himself first.
I want to buy tickets to see him in the play though. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz is one of my favorite books/movies anyway. He's the Scarecrow, and the Scarecrow happens to be one of my favorite characters.
Friday came quickly, with a few mildly funny moments. The two that I remember the most were both at lunch. Abby, one of my counselor friends, and I overheard Erica talking and she said something to one of the campers and it sounded like, "...and then I had sex." We figured it probably wasn't that but we heard it wrong or something and were laughing over that. Also, Cheyenne then asked me, "Do you like the runs?" I am dead serious. That also cracked me up.
Plus Seth reminded me of the week before, when he said, "'What does 'Fenstermaker' (Murray's last name) mean?' was a question on Jeopardy last night," and I actually believed him and exclaimed, "Really?!" Heheh.
"Fenstermaker" means "window maker" in German.
Friday sucked though, after I left Friends. I had an appointment with Dr. Crawford. He said I had to get to 120 pounds or so by the second week in August or I'd have to go to the intensive outpatient program and eat the meat in the dinners there. Then Mom bought Scandishakes.
Ewww.
At least today was a little better (except for the Scandishake). Mom-mom, Pop-pop, Nana, Grandfather, and Hannah (Alison and Bob stopped over briefly before going out to their anniversary dinner so they could leave Hannah in our care) ate dinner with us to celebrate my Dad's 50th birthday (it was on the seventh).
While Hannah was over, I passed "Dream a Dream" by Captain Jack with a D... IN HEAVY MODE!!!! My first heavy song!!! w00t!!!
Then I watched SNL after everyone left. It was the "Best of Will Ferrell 2" episode. I <3 Will Ferrell. He is a sexy man beast. >XD I need to see Anchorman. And I still need to see Elf.
I talked to Seth, Kate, and DJ online too. DJ got a new screen name.
Whoa, it's 4:04 in the morning now.
If I'm going to take a shower tomorrow morning and go to church around 11ish, I'd better get some sleep.
Maybe... yeah.
current mood:  gloomy
current music: "Take Me Out", Franz Ferdinand (in my head)
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1 toy said yes. is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
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| Monday, July 5th, 2004
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8:57 pm - "Don't let me down."
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I'm so tired. Work is great, but awful for motivating me to write.
I'm currently working at Friends Camp as an Assistant Counselor. Well, for the first two weeks, I was a CIT. They (the powers that be in the Friends offices) only got three kids signed up for the Microworlds group and couldn't afford to pay me. I love my campers and my counselor friends, but the work is mentally exhausting.
I've been falling asleep every night around nine or ten o'clock. o.O;
I actually fell asleep (well, kinda) while watching Sumner work on Microworlds one morning.
I'm not going to write about the past two weeks (ha!!), but my campers were awesome.
I get to see all my old friends, too. Scott ("Ophelia"), David, Leah... and some new ones, like Brian and Ryan... and then there's Murray.
Murray's been giving me rides home almost every day (in his spiffy ghetto red Buick Reatta). Sometimes, he comes in my house and we play DDR. One day, I let Missy out to meet him, and he said she had the attention span of a goldfish. I told Murray that Missy has epilepsy. >XD
A few days ago, he told me during our break that when he went off to college (Tulane in New Orleans), he wasn't planning on coming back (although, I'm sure he'll still visit family or whatever every so often) to Maryland. I told him I'd miss him, and he said he'd miss me too, and he'd miss other people and things, but that he wouldn't miss Friends School or the area. He said he felt a need to start over somewhere else. I can understand the feeling, because, to be honest, I'm not sure if I want to live around here when I grow up (well, I have no idea about anything when I grow up). However, it still made me sad because the reality hit me; one of my good friends will live in another state. It's rather depressing.
The weeks have gone by rather quickly, but I remember some other key things.
I went over to Sam Smith's house and hung out there with Sam, Elizabeth B., Fern (from David's party), Sean (from David's party), Maya (I don't know her last name, but not the one from CVE and THS), and Steven (from David's party). Sam did DDR (well, Stepmania, on his computer but with the pad) in a skirt and Fern did the milkshake song on Stepmania. >XD
Leah and I saw Saved! at the Owings Mills theatre. It was great. Then, while Mom was away for six days in the Midwest, Dad and I saw The Stepford Wives, which was hilarious.
The people at St. Joe's tried telling me if I couldn't get my weight up to 120 pounds by the end of July, I wouldn't be allowed to go to Ligonier Camp. I complained to Dad about it, and he said that they (the ED center people) don't have the power to prohibit me from going to camp, unless I were to be hospitalized, and I know that's not possible (I'd have to lose like thirty pounds in two weeks or something like that).
So ha!! Fuck you, ED center people!!
Yes, I really have grown to hate that place.
On Wednesday (I think it was Wednesday, anyway), I saw Matt. ^^ I hadn't seen him since May, so I was happy about that. We hung out with some of his friends around the Commons and Sunny's Surplus and Burger King (haha to the last two). Most of his friends seemed pretty cool, especially Joey, who happens to go to THS. He recognized me (he said he had seen me around school and recognized the pins on my bag, but I can't remember seeing him around school... oh well). It was a fun way to spend a Wednesday night.
Yesterday was the suckiest Fourth of July ever. It was a rainy Sunday, we didn't have our annual party type thing, we went over to a relative's house, there were lots of my relatives but also a lot of strange people at the house, Emma wasn't there because she's in Williamsburg for some summer class thing, and I didn't get to see the fireworks this year. *sigh* Oh, well.
Today, I saw Spider-man 2 with my parents. The movie that I've been looking forward to for two years now... does it live up to my expectations? Not only does it live up to them, it surpasses them!! I can't wait for Spider-man 3!! ^__^
After the movie, Mom, Dad, and I had another squabble. We've been having a lot of them lately, but it probably started around the time they started taking me to the ED center. But it's not just squabbles about eating, it's about everything now, and my parents have been so irritating lately. I wonder if I'm finally turning into a normal teenager... yeah, right. I'll never be any sort of normal.
Mom and Dad always gang up on me in these sorts of fights, and make me feel as if everything's my fault. It's been like that since I was a little kid. No wonder I'm so screwed up.
This is pretty bad, but I've been thinking (and I know this isn't true but that doesn't stop me from having the thought dance and flit around in my head) that marriage is like a union... for people to become strong and win arguments against others and feel better about themselves while making others feel bad... if that makes any sense?
Crap, I'm using too many "..."s again (I'm so off topic). I can't even remember what they're called. Epilepses? Erg, I know that word is so wrong, but I can't think of the word at the moment. Le sigh.
The word I was looking for is "elipses". I'm using too many elipses again. Yes.
I can't really think of too much else to write.
current mood:  weird
current music: "Ghost Man On Third", Taking Back Sunday
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1 toy said yes. is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
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| Monday, June 21st, 2004
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10:08 pm - "And all this empty space that you create does nothing for my flawless sense of style."
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I'm getting my voice back, slowly but surely. I can almost sing normally.
Anyway, Saturday was awesome. I finally got to meet David in person, at his fun birthday party. He has really cool friends; Tim, Fernando, Jane, Sharon, Alicia (spelling?), Andi, Sean, the other guy (I think his name was Steven), Mary, and, of course... April, Elizabeth ("Lizzy" or Elizabeth Blumenfeld), and Sam (Sam Smith, from RMS).
It was really funny because when I got there and talked to this, this guy about my height with shaggy brown hair and black clothes passed by me, and I asked Lizzy if she knew anyone and she pointed out the guy and said, "That's Sam... you know, Sam Smith." Sam came over and asked Lizzy who I was, and then we both freaked out happily at the reuniting and hugged like crazy.
Tim, David, Fern (that's what I started calling Fernando), Mary, and Sam were all really good at DDR. Man, I suck at DDR. Haha, hooray for Light/Standard players.
I drew a picture of Mana (from one of his favorite J-rock bands, Malice Mizer) and made it into a card for David, and I think he liked it. ^^ He didn't get that many real gifts, but he got wads of money from everyone. Heehee, money. >XD
We (as in Lizzy, Sam, and me mostly traveling together) watched David play his bass guitar. He's really good.
Fern was hot, and I was talking to him, and Lizzy and Sam were sitting next to me, and I blurted out, "You're a really hot white Mexican... I mean a hot Mexican... I mean a white Mexican!! Darn it!!" I was cracking up and put my head in my lap while shaking with laughter. Lizzy and Sam were laughing at me too. Ah, good times.
David throws good parties. He also has cool friends (although I think I already mentioned that). I'm thinking of throwing a DDR party over the summer or sometime sooner or later and inviting David, April, Sam, Lizzy, and maybe other people I met at David's party, along with my other friends.
I was really tired after the party, so unfortunately, I didn't stay up for SNL. Oh, well.
Sunday was a little less eventful in the fun sense, but still not bad. It was the tenth anniversary of our first coming to Central, so my parents and I went to the early service, just like old times, before EPIC service started. After church, I slept for a while, watched the Austin Powers movies on TV, and then Mom-mom, Pop-pop, Nana, Grandfather, Alison, Bob, Emma, and Hannah came over for a Father's Day/Pop-pop's Birthday/Hannah's Birthday dinner. After Alison, Bob, Emma, and Hannah left, I IMed Sam a bit, then snuck back to my parent's bedroom to watch Zoolander on TV at eight o'clock.
Today was my first day working at Friends Camp this year. There are only three kids, Jasper, Sumner, and Tom, in my Microworlds group, plus Katie the instructor and Dan the CIT. However, Pedro and Erica's group, Tech Camp, joins our group for most activities. They have four kids; Yasmin, Cheyenne, Kanika, and Jack. The program of Microworlds itself is not that interesting after a while, but I really like the kids.
After camp, I had to stay until five o'clock. Or so I thought. But Murray offered me a ride. I called Mom, and convinced her that it would be okay, so she let me. Murray and I got in his ghetto red car (I can't even remember the make of the car) and cruised on home the long way, with loud music from Murray's IPod or whatever the heck that thing was.
It was pretty cool, especially since I hadn't really had a decent conversation with him, except on IM, for almost two years.
When he parked the car in the driveway, I asked him if I could hug him. He okayed it, so we hugged. I told him as I got out of the car that I had missed him. He said he had missed me too. I thanked him again for the ride, and he drove away.
Funny how during the past two years, I've really only had two guys seriously on my mind. I mean, of course there were little two minute crushes or whatever all over. But Murray and DJ are the only ones I've thought of seriously over these two years. It's like one guy per year. Except not, because it's kind of been both at sometimes, and sometimes just one or the other (mostly Murray before I met DJ, and DJ after I met him). Oy, what am I writing about?! I'm making no sense. I give up. I need sleep. After all, I am working again tomorrow.
Still no word on my backpack or the missing CDs. I'm wondering if I should call the police... I almost wrote "on a lighter note" before "still no word on my backpack or the missing CDs". Then I thought about it, and realized that it wasn't exactly a lighter note. Music is a big part of my heart and my soul. It sounds corny, but it's true. And since about a third or so of my CD collection (along with my backpack) was stolen (crap... not just the money value bothers me but also the memories, especially with the mix CD from Parisa in there...), then quite a bit of my soul was stolen too. Hmm. Can I tell the police to find the person who stole part of my soul? That would be interesting. "Uh, excuse me, Officer, we are missing part of a soul..."
Okay, I stopped making sense at least two paragraphs ago. And I itch randomly, but especially on my leg, where that bug bite is, on the calf. So, yeah, I think I'll stop writing? Sounds like a plan.
current mood:  contemplative
current music: "Jude Law And A Semester Abroad", Brand New
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4 toys said yes. is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
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| Thursday, June 17th, 2004
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10:58 pm - "So obviously desperate, so desperately obvious."
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Oy. I'm starting to suck at updating regularly. Oh, well, at least I haven't broken last summer's record yet.
Let's see... on Sunday, May 30th, I watched the seniors graduate at the Towson Center. It was very moving; I almost cried. Unfortunately, I only got like five out of my thirty plus senior friends to actually sign my yearbook. ^^; I'm too forgetful.
I didn't get as many people that I wanted to sign my yearbook to actually sign it this year, from forgetfulness and whatnot.
I saw the new Harry Potter movie, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, last week. It was really great. I liked all of the movies, but I think this one is my favorite out of the three.
There was this annoying kid sitting behind me at the Senator though, and he wouldn't shut up. I glared at him a few times, and it took everything to keep me from smacking the kid.
Oh, well, I'll see it a few more times in theatres.
The last two days of school were... interesting. Good and bad times.
After first period yesterday, I left school with Parisa, Tracey, and Michelle, and walked to the mall with them. We had fun in Borders, the Commons, then walking to the mall and looking at the stuff in Gadzooks, Bebe, American Eagle, and Victoria's Secret (those are the only stores I can remember us stopping in). We randomly tried on the bras at Gadzooks and Victoria's Secret. It was rather amusing. Parisa bought a 36D bra, claiming that it fit her. Tracey vouched for her, so maybe she really does have bigger boobs than I thought she had. Haha, so random. Anyway... outside of the mall, I saw Charlotte smoking with... RIVI!! I hugged Rivi, of course, and Charlotte too, and I grabbed Charlotte's cigarette from her and stomped it out. >XD Heheh. But I apologized to her... man, I've missed Rivi. It was great seeing her again. I should have got her screen name from Charlotte though; she hasn't been on her old one in forever.
Unfortunately, there were repercussions to leaving after first period yesterday. MY BACKPACK EITHER GOT LOST OR WAS STOLEN SOMETIME YESTERDAY OR TODAY AT SCHOOL!!!!! AHHH!!!! My backpack, with most of my CDs in it!!!! It really sucks!!
And I've been losing my voice all day.
I took my World History and Algebra II exams and got Ms. Waters and Ms. McIsaac to sign my yearbook, and said goodbye to my teachers who were still around in school.
But Ed, DJ, John Russell, Kris, Maya, Morgan, and ELLIE FROM STORM CHURCHNESS were hanging out in Ms. Brown Mrs. Damico's room, and playing video games and their guitars and stuff. DJ and Ed did the Ramones' "Blitzkreig Bop" in a Beach Boys style, and it was really funny. "Blitzkreig Bop... oooebop..." Hahaha. >XD
Then Nick came to school to help Ed take his stuff home but I told them I could give them a ride home, so we hung out around school talking about very random things (circumcised vs. uncircumcised penises, rap, being white, rapping about seals, heat thermals and paper airplanes, whittling wood, etc.) until my Mom picked us up around two o'clock. Mom took Ed and Nick to Ed's house and then we headed for the mall (second time in two days... the mall is always how I end my school year). I bought a Taking Back Sunday shirt and some capri-ish style pant things in Hot Topic, and played some DDR in the arcade. Mom went with me to Hot Topic, but she had to go card shopping while I played DDR. I also played the virtual boxing game, which I think actually wore me out more than DDR. *gasp* Those two pound boxing gloves were really heavy!! After DDRing and boxing, Mom and I got a smoothie thingy at the Jasmine Bubble Tea stand, then we went to Borders because Mom had more gifts to buy. I bought the second Angel Sanctuary manga, the 35th anniversary edition of The Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, and the second special edition Princess Diaries guidebook thingy. Then Mom, Dad, and I celebrated the end of the school year at Bertucci's.
So while I'm one backpack and quite a few CDs short ;_; and quite sad about that loss, I am quite content because school is over, and I had a mostly good last day. And Maya just said the nicest thing to me:
briarsyellowrose: oh and this is random but I really wanted to tell you how much I love you! you're just so great and always been awsome ever since elementary school, and just I love how you are just who you are, and you just wear whatever you want, and you don't seem to really care what others think of you, at least thats what it seems like. You just sorta are yourself, and I don't know I just find that really cool. It gives you a certain level of respect in a certain way, that I don't think I'd ever achieve.
Yay!! I love my friends!! I <3 you, Maya!!
Now if only someone found my backpack and CDs and gave it back to me...
Heh. Then that would be la merde (right, Ed?).
Now I'm going to go watch me some Iron Chef in a few minutes so this is pretty much it for now (translation: I'm going to watch Iron Chef in a few minutes so I have just enough time to cough up a lung and lose the rest of my voice before the show starts if I end this entry now).
current mood:  okay
current music: "You Know How I Do", Taking Back Sunday
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6 toys said yes. is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
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| Saturday, May 29th, 2004
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10:38 pm - "I'm lost in myself and afraid of who I really am - the shell of a man."
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I have to get back into the habit of writing in this thing.
I have wanted to write in here so badly but I have been so unsure about things so I just... didn't? Yeah...
Well, I'm not going to write the details about the past three weeks, but just what I remember and what was important from the last three weeks.
Two Fridays ago, I skipped fifth period (English) with Vicci because I was getting fed up with Ms. McIsaac's juvenile temper tantrums (well, they weren't exactly like a two year old screaming and shouting, but she was losing her temper all the time and pissing me off). Vicci, Brian, Jessie (Middleton), Mike (a friend of mine and DJ and Brian's from Calvert Hall), and Jack Skinner (a friend of Vicci's), and I snuck off THS property and walked to the playground by the public library. I swung on the swings really high and then I jumped off and skinned and scraped my knee. Teehee. Jack and I had to go back to school for sixth period and seventh period, so Brian, Jessie, Vicci, and Mike walked towards the mall while Jack and I walked back together. Jack and I had a really fun conversation about everything - from LiveJournal quizzes to the Power Rangers (I kid you not) - and now he's one of my friends.
Not to mention, I'm starting to crush on him (oops).
We got our yearbooks, and I've been trying to get all my friends to sign it, but I haven't gotten many of my friends to sign it yet. I hardly got any of my senior friends to sign it either, which makes me sad. Their last day at school was yesterday, I think, and Senior Prom was yesterday, and then they graduate really soon. I'm going to miss all of my senior friends.
We also got our Colophons, and they are really spiffy. w00t.
A new Emo Game came out finally - well, it's actually called the Bush Game (or Emo Game 2.5) and it's a mini game that is against Bush (but has facts and statistics to back their reasoning up). It's rather fun[ny], like most of their games.
Wow, this entry has been rather random and haphazard. So here's another thing - on Monday night, I bought four CDs at Borders. DJ has been telling me forever to get Taking Back Sunday's Tell All Your Friends, and Zack has recommended Thrice and The Juliana Theory. So I bought Taking Back Sunday's Tell All Your Friends, Thrice's The Artist In The Ambulance, The Juliana Theory's Emotion Is Dead, and The Juliana Theory's Love. Being the weird person who listens to one or two new CDs over and over again, I've just been listening to The Juliana Theory's Love over and over again for the past week. I'll get to listening to the other albums soon, but I have to listen to Love some more. It's really good.
But, of course, Brand New still takes the cake. XP
More randomness!! There was this awesome storm Tuesday evening. I was on the computer, IMing DJ, and the computer browns out, so I restart it and talk to DJ some more before Dad tells me to turn the computer off. Right after I tell DJ I have to go and turn off the computer, I walk out of the study and BAM!! the lights go off. I love thunderstorms but I was feeling bored not being able to talk to anyone. So I get over my fear of phones (albeit temporarily) and call DJ on my cell phone. We had a short but fun little conversation about the storm and other crap (and on Thursday, two days later, he signed my yearbook). Our friendship is growing again, so I'm happy.
And after I hung up and then had dinner with Mom and Dad, we played Trivial Pursuit by lantern light.
The next day, I told Parisa on the way to school that our power had gone out. She told me her power hadn't gone out, and we were both surprised because usually her power goes out and mine stays on. Parisa said she was happy, because she really wanted to watch American Idol last night, and she was able to. Then she said, "God must have been looking out for me because He knew that I really wanted to watch American Idol last night." I cracked up. It was just funny at the time, but still kinda is.
I don't feel like saying much more about the past three weeks, except that I'm sorry I've neglected my DeadJournal (which I will check soon) and my dear Blurty. I can't remember too much more about the last three weeks... oh, except that the surprise spy theme party we had for Bill on Sunday was awesome.
Haha, I'm so random.
Yesterday, I finally saw that show Ed was talking about, the Iron Chef show. It's so fun[ny]. I don't know why I think it's funny, but it just is.
Today, Mom and I went shopping in Hampden (where Mom and I were both born, but she lived there longer than I did).
We went to this cool store called Galvanize. Mom bought a tea towel that had a 1976 calendar on it (she married Dad in 1976) and I bought a nice vintage tee, a green one. Then we went to that one store with Hampden and Baltimore souvenir stuff and bought milkshakes and ice cream (I had a chocolate milkshake; Mom had mint chocolate chip ice cream) in the back of the store, where there is this cool old fashioned soda fountain.
We browsed some of the other stores, then we decide to go to Oh! Said Rose before leaving. I see some cool stuff there, and I bought this skirt (me, wear skirts or buy skirts?! *gasp*).
I've been wearing skirts more often (but still not too often, only like once a month, maybe every two weeks) but, of course, I still wear shorts underneath. XP
Anyway, this skirt was a light sort of lime (except not as bright) green with sushi and chopsticks on it. I couldn't resist; it was just too cool. So I bought it. ^^;
The shirt from Galvanize was really cheap, price wise - $8. But the Oh! Said Rose sushi skirt was expensive (for "poor" people like me) - $44. Not like that stopped me.
So, the past three weeks have been bittersweet, but mostly looking up and sweet. Bittersweet, or bitter, because it's sad that my senior friends are leaving. However, things have been looking up and it's almost the end of school. And, for the most part, the weather's been nice (except for the few scattered showers and, of course, that storm, but I love storms, so I still was happy). And this weekend's a long one because of Memorial Day. w00t. More time to memorize my parts for the trial. Scary. ;_;
Haha.
I randomly laugh a lot.
Well, that's enough for now... I kind of want to watch SNL tonight. I have a feeling my parents won't let me tonight though because we have to go to the early church service tomorrow because we (well, my parents) have a lot to do tomorrow.
Since I really have nothing else to say, I should stop typing while I'm ahead (but of course, I never do).
current mood: bored
current music: "Shell Of A Man", The Juliana Theory
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15 toys said yes. is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
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| Saturday, May 8th, 2004
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12:19 am - "I'm a hazard to myself, don't let me get me, I'm my worst enemy..."
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Le happy birthday.
Well, it was my party today anyway.
I'd write about some minor happenings from yesterday and today, but alas, I don't want to right now. I will maybe later. And maybe not.
Anyway... le party...
Sarah showed up early with her PS2 (we were expecting to use one TV for Dance Dance Revolution and the other TV for Karaoke Revolution) and her dance pad. Her pad is better than mine, even though we both have RedOctane Ignition 2.0 pads. I think her pad is a RedOctane Ignition 2.0 anyway, but I could be wrong.
She gave me balloons, fifty cents, and ten camouflage bracelets. ^^ Then we set up the pads (but not the other TV and PS2 because it turns out that TV didn't go with the PS2 cords Sarah had).
Ashley came soon after, and then Wendy.
Wendy gave me a new CD case with a birthday CD she burned for me. ^^
(I hope I remember to write what everyone gave me, because it will help me with writing thank you notes later)
Nick showed up, then Matt and April. Matt gave me a $20 gift certificate to Sam Goody, and April gave me a card and pretty colored paper and calligraphy pens. ^^
Sean arrived, then Clara and her boyfriend, Matt (a.k.a. Matt B., not Matt A.). Clara gave me a wonderful drawing of a woman wearing a red kimono. ^^
Malcolm showed up, and gave me a handmade card, which was really sweet. ^^
S.A.M. came too, then Sam Kennedy came with his DDRMax and Konamix games and his gift for me.
He gave me a box, the "perfect gift", as he called it.
I opened the box... and in it was the snowglobe with my photo from the photobooth at the mall!!
I thought it was really funny and sweet.
S.A.M. got a call on her cellphone from Ed, who said he was with Charlie and a friend, Rachel, but they were on their way. S.A.M. told me she was worried because she thought there was something going on between Ed and Rachel.
Ed showed up with Charlie a couple minutes later. They brought me a soccer ball they found on the way to my house. With them was Rachel, who is Sam's ex-girlfriend. Uh-oh.
She's nice (to me, anyway) but it was unexpected, and it did bring down the party mood quite a bit and made things... darker.
S.A.M. was curled up behind the old chair that used to belong to Pop-pop. She was crying silently.
I felt really bad, so I hugged her and talked to her some.
Bonnie showed up a bit later, and gave me a card she made me, which was sweet.
Oh, and people gave me money (but now I can't remember who, oops).
So we played DDR (Sarah, Sam, Matt B., and Clara, of course, ruled at that) and Karaoke Revolution (which I won in, but didn't rule).
We also played Twister, and they tried to play Spin the Bottle, but that didn't work because only the straight guys wanted to play, and when hardly any girls decided to join in, they gave up on their game.
Bonnie, Wendy, April, Malcolm, and Ashley had to leave early.
I feel bad because April and Bonnie hardly knew anyone and didn't really open up to many people, especially April. :-/
I wanted to talk to her more, especially since I haven't seen her in person for like two years, but unfortunately, I didn't talk much to her, because I was talking to everyone and whatnot.
She got her hair cut and she's even prettier than she was in eight grade.
Anyway, I did the stupidest thing tonight. I kissed Sam. It was a bit awkward, because he looked uncomfortable, so I apologized.
I hate myself.
Later, Ed and Rachel were sitting close to each other and looking like they were going to kiss. Sam was leaning over S.A.M. on the sofa, looking like he was going to seduce her or something.
It kind of blew somewhat, to be frank.
It was nothing like last year's fun party.
Turning fifteen and being fifteen was interesting; it was both the best year and worst year of my life. Overall though, it was definitely my best year, except maybe the end (last two months or so?).
If the end of my being fifteen and this party say anything about how my sixteenth year on this Earth will be, then I don't want to be sixteen.
I'm so old. I'll be sixteen on Sunday. Only two more years left as a kid.
I wish I could turn back time, and relive my fifteenth year, or at least the majority of it (the good parts, which was most of that year).
At the end of the party, right before everyone left, we sucked all the helium out of the balloons and made our voices high pitched. I kept saying "dead babies" in my high voice because it sounded funny, and everyone kept laughing when I said it.
S.A.M. couldn't believe that it had been a year since my party last year, and we talked about how fast time flies.
I miss last year. I miss most of my fifteenth year.
Well, I miss 2003 in general. 2003 was my fifteenth and my best year on this Earth.
I keep switching back and forth from topics and whatnot. Oh well.
I'm kind of disappointed/upset/etc. now, so I wrote a poem.
( This is a poem that I wrote just now. )
Well, that was my party.
Some of it was fun, but at the same time, it was le suck.
Ah, well. That's all I'm writing for now.
I feel so fucking drained. And it's not just the helium.
current mood: disappointed
current music: "Don't Let Me Get Me", Pink (from the mix CD Wendy gave me)
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14 toys said yes. is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
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| Wednesday, May 5th, 2004
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4:50 pm - "Your eyes are fighting sleep while your mouth makes your demands."
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Friday was a sweet end for a bitter week.
It was Law Day. Well, Law Day is officially on May 1 every year, but we celebrated it on Friday. It was fun and mundane, as usual, and we missed our first three periods. I missed Trial Advocacy, Chemistry, and Algebra II so I was very happy about that.
I handed out most of my party invitations so I actually got something accomplished.
After school, I sat outside the Cedar lobby on the cement and tanned.
Then I went to Michelle's house to help her, Peter Boyle, and Tracey work on their science project for Mr. Olsen. They can't do any HTML and they needed me to create a website for their element website project.
Peter's pretty hot (even though he's just a friend) so Michelle and I madly flirted with him. Heheh.
On Saturday, I went to the Towson Festival with Matt. I haven't gone to that festival since I was a little kid, so it was fun. I bought vegetarian bumper stickers, a "Give Earth a Chance" bumper sticker, and some pins for my bag. I wanted to do karaoke, but I ended up running out of time. I met up with Parisa, Michelle, Tracey, Carla, and Rebecca there, and I saw a crapload of people... Graham, Phoebe (from the protest last year), David (from church), Don, Allie, Rachel, Caryn, Lacey (from gym)... I even saw DJ and his family. I talked to them and they showed me this gift they got for the exchange family Leah is staying with this summer.
Then I saw Mary Tupper, Lisa Marie, Ed, Jenna, and Paul (Hendricks), and Jenna offered me some of her lemonade. I took a large gulp, and then realized it wasn't lemonade. Well, not completely. I realized that there was vodka in the lemonade after swallowing my mouthful. I shrugged it off, started singing that song "Tipsy" that Tracey and Michelle introduced to me on Friday, and continued to have fun at the festival.
Michelle dared me to dance with some weird middle-age (like fifties) ladies (and she told me to imitate their lovely dancing skills), and one of them was wearing white Spandex shorts and you could see her underwear through the shorts.
( And so I danced with them. )
After the festival, I went home with a slight headache, and chilled.
Sunday, it rained.
At Storm, I sang, as usual.
Then there was this huge storm during the night, and there was a mini-tornado in our neighborhood. It was crazy, and trees were fallen everywhere.
Monday morning, I didn't feel like finishing one of my veggie sausages, so I threw it away. Mom asked me why I did that, and Dad interrupted with a "Because she wants to lose weight." It really hurt, especially since I was just full/sick of the taste, so I stalked back to the bathroom and brushed my teeth.
When I was done in the bathroom, I walked back out to the kitchen because I was going out the back door to the minivan. Dad was sitting at the breakfast table with an apologetic look on his face. I muttered, "Douchebag," and walked out the door.
I felt guilty about it, and after school, I called him and apologized. He apologized too, and at home, I found a note he wrote apologizing.
I guess I can't blame him for all of his nonsense. After all, he just doesn't want me to end up like Nana.
Tuesday, there was a Young Greens meeting. I gave Jenna some copies that I made of the brand new second issue of Unconventional Wisdom. Charlie and Paul left early. I didn't get to apologize to Charlie for snapping at him. Carly, Jenna, Claire, and I fooled around on the computers, looking at the snopes.com website on urban legends and fashion designer sites and college sites. Fun times. Good times.
I went to Ms. Kauffman's and Dr. Gaffney's at St. Joe's after school. I'm the same weight as before, right down to the .8 of my 115.8 pounds.
Tuesday night, I apologized to Charlie via IM.
Then I invited him to my party.
Maybe I shouldn't have, because he'll be like one of the only (if not the only) seniors there.
Oh, well. Pfft.
Today, I fell asleep in Chemistry, Algebra II, and English.
I think my medications are fucking up again.
Ah, well.
There was a squirrel trapped in the Senior Cafe, and everyone who usually sits there sat in the cafeteria or in the hallway. It was drizzling, so only a few people, including me, sat outside.
Well, actually, I wandered all over the place, so I guess I don't really count.
That was pretty much the only interesting event in my day so far.
I want to start a band. I'd have Vicci be in it, because I think she can play bass, and Linzy too, because she plays drums. I can sing all right (so I've been told) and I want my mom to either look into drum lessons and/or teach me guitar already.
I'm going out to dinner with my Japanese class tonight, so I'm happy about that. I'm going to Freeny-sensei's house around 5:30 pm. Oh, crap. That's in less than an hour. I haven't done any homework. Aghhh!!! Gerfumble.
current mood: bored
current music: "Me vs. Maradona vs. Elvis", Brand New
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2 toys said yes. is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
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| Thursday, April 29th, 2004
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9:51 pm - "I'll speak my mind whenever I feel slighted."
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This week has been one hell of a week.
Emphasis on the word "hell". While I'm sure it wasn't as bad as the place, it was awful.
On Tuesday, I found out that Alex Lokey's best friend, Andrew (who was an acquaintance of mine), committed suicide over the weekend.
After school that day, Charlie told me at Young Greens Club that he wasn't ignoring me. Liar.
Then I went to St. Joe's.
I was diagnosed (well, told/diagnosed) with anorexia.
I'm 115.8 pounds now.
Wednesday, I went to Andrew's funeral.
I got a ride with these girls Jess and Sarah who I had just met. There were classmates of my friend Pat Mosley.
Emily and Ben, along with some guy named Adam, also came with me in Jess and Sarah's van.
The funeral chapel was packed, so a lot of people, including me, had to stand in the lobby outside the chapel. There were speakers so we could hear the memorial service.
There was a preacher, and a lot of people, including family members, Andrew's parents, and friends, including Alex and Siobhan, who spoke.
There were tears in my eyes, but I wasn't actually able to cry.
After the service, we went into the chapel and looked at the photo collages of Andrew over the years.
Then Emily, Ben, Adam, Jess, Sarah, and I went back to school for seventh period.
After school, I hung out with Wendy, Sam Kennedy, Jamie, and Alex (the dreadlocked Alex, not the other three) outside the Cedar lobby.
When I came home to take out Missy before Japanese class, Ms. Linda talked to me while I was walking Missy. She told me they found a bit of cancer in her ovaries again, and that she would have to go back to chemo on Tuesday.
Happy birthday to Linzy and Rae.
Today was a drag.
After school, I went to Anime Club and watched some Hellsing episodes, and then I hung out with John Russell, Fabius, Morgan, Maya, Jamie, and Alex (with dreadlocks) outside the Cedar lobby. John tried figuring out how to play Brand New songs on his mandolin.
I went to tutoring, and when I got home, I got online.
Bad idea.
I mustered up enough courage to confront Charlie about his ignoring me.
The conversation wasn't pretty.
I talked to Brian (Glover, not Davis), and we complained about the crappiness of teenagerism. We think it should be outlawed.
I <3 Bri. Friends <3 and care for each other, and he is one friend who encourages me to not give up in life.
Well, quite a few of my friends are special like that, but he's probably the one who has cheered me up the most this moment.
And I've been bettering my relationships with friends, like John Russell, Brian, Sam Kennedy, and Linzy, and trusting them with secrets or things that aren't normally open to people.
Tomorrow's Friday.
I hope it's a better end to a sad week.
What weird weather we've been having for such a terrible week; it's been way too sunny and warm and pretty.
Usually these weeks are rainy and cliché.
Maybe I'll even find someone to go with to that spring fair Mom keeps bugging me about.
I guess these are the times when I wish desperately (instead of it just being a miniature dead hope and wish) that I was still going out with DJ. I love him, but I am definitely cool with being just friends with him. However, he was a symbol of stability in my life. I miss the times when life was easy, stable, predictable, and happy.
Hooray for being an angsty teenager.
current mood: sad
current music: "Good To Know That If I Ever Need Attention All I Have To Do Is Die", Brand New
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is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
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| Monday, April 26th, 2004
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5:20 pm - "I hope you choke and die."
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Blargh. I'm such a lazy blob. Anyway, I'm not going to elaborate on the past week or so much, but I'll just write about what I can remember...
The Saturday before the day before yesterday (the 17th), I missed the Truth Fails To Fall concert because my parents dragged me to the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra with them. Usually, I enjoy it but I didn't as much that night. First, I was missing the TF² concert for the BSO. Second, because my parents invited Nana and Grandfather to see it with us and eat dinner with us at Spike and Charlie's.
So at Spike and Charlie's, I watched Nana eat a Caesar salad and one square from her pizza. I, on the other hand, not only ate my Caesar salad, but I ate all eight (or so) squares of my pizza. Then she gives me her doggy bag with the pizza in it.
I love Nana, but I hate her sometimes. I just want to smack some sense into her.
Sunday the 18th, I sang for the first time in front of everyone at Storm. The Downpour (I found out that was the name of the Storm band) members are so kind and welcoming. ^^ It sucks that Pam and Duncan are leaving after summer. ;_;
Tuesday, I went to Ms. (not Dr.) Kaufman's and she weighed me. I'm 117.3 pounds now. Dad was being all therapist-like, except he wasn't being very therapeutic. He was asking way too many questions like, "How do you feel about your weight gain?" I was on the spot in front of both him and Ms. Kaufman and it was almost as bad as Dr. Crawford's question sessions. I just shrugged, but I wanted to scream or hurl something at him.
( STFU, Dad. )
Wednesday was the Day of Silence to support gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transsexuals. I participated, but by accident I talked like three times. Oops. Oh well. Then after school, Young Greens held a "Breaking the Silence" party and we watched this great movie called But I'm a Cheerleader.
Friday, after school, I watched James and other people play tennis. Then it started raining a lot, and I stood in the rain. It was kind of fun, and I shook my head around like a wet dog shaking out the rain. I saw DJ at a payphone, and I was about to offer him my cellphone, but he hung up and walked away, so I figured he got a ride. I continued to dance around in the rain until Mom picked me up about fifteen minutes later.
Saturday, I finally introduced myself to the "fatgirls" community of support on DeadJournal, where Shiv is. They welcomed me, so I'm happy about that. I also saw the plays at school. I particularly liked "Audience" and "Rehearsal". I sat with Yani, who was upset because Claire wasn't there. I also saw Ed and S.A.M. Ed was complaining about his hair, which had been dyed by Parisa, because he said it came out all wrong and ugly. I liked it and thought it was a rather fetching shade of brownish auburn.
Yesterday, I went to church, then to the mall. I bought a Brand New t-shirt. It's maroon and electric blue (cyan) and it says "Brand Nizzle". It's awesome. I almost bought the Brand New shirt with the bike on it because it fit a little better (there were no medium-size "Brand Nizzle" shirts) but something told me to buy the "Brand Nizzle" shirt. Maybe because I liked it better or something?
At Storm, I sang again. ^^ I <3 my Downpour friends.
Today, it was a crappy rainy Monday. There isn't really much to say. However, DJ wore the Brand New shirt I almost bought, the one with the bike on it. Maybe I'm psychic? Muahahah.
Just kidding.
Recently, a lot of the Young Greens guys (and their friends) have been looking rather cute. James, for instance. He really plays a mean game of tennis, too. I think I'm coming down with something. This is so not me.
Speaking of Young Greens guys, I have decided that Charlie is deliberately ignoring me. And as far as I'm concerned, if that may be the case, I say Charlie can go fuck screw screw/fuck/whatever a moose.
No, I take that back.
Poor moose. That would be animal cruelty. I feel sorry for it already.
Charlie can go fall into a vat of boiling moose crap.
Ha!!
current mood: blah
current music: "Seventy Times 7", Brand New
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is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
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| Wednesday, April 21st, 2004
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10:11 pm - "Lend me some sugar, I am your neighbor!"
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Before I forget everything, I might as well write about the dance.
On Friday, we got our class rings during school. Mine's pretty, but a bit loose. I think I'll have to get it resized. It's gold, with a green gemstone, and it has a cross on one side and a rock music logo on the other side. It says "Beth" on the cross side and "2006" on the rock music side. On the inside of the ring, my signature has been engraved into the metal. It's a pretty cool ring, actually.
Friday night was the Sophomore Ring Dance, and it had a Hollywood theme.
I dressed up as Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's with the long black dress and everything. Someone even pointed me out as Holly Golightly, so I was glad someone realized who I was.
Mom and Dad took pictures of me, then Mom and I picked up Matt, and our moms took pictures of us. Matt got me a pretty corsage of red roses and I wore it on my right wrist.
Matt dressed up all spiffy, and it was good to see him again after not seeing him since this winter. I miss not seeing my good friends from middle school.
Anyway, before I go all nostalgic, back to the dance...
We got there around seven o'clock and checked in. After signing our names on the list, we walked down the red construction paper carpet and looked at the rest of the cheap decorations. Pamela Anderson, Michael Jackson, and Elvis Presley "life size" cut outs stared at us.
Everyone stood outside of the cafeteria for a few minutes and stared at each other, until I decided to go in with Wendy.
I saw Murray, which was neat. I said hi to him, and I haven't talked to him in over a year (maybe even two?) in real life, so that was cool. I also met his girlfriend, Jo, whom I already kind of knew.
Charlotte brought Ashley with her, and Kelsey brought her metrosexual friend Richard. We had fun with them, and Jenna and I skanked to some of the songs, including Outkast's "Hey Ya!". That is a fun song. ^^
Claire brought her boyfriend Ben (I knew him already), and Matt knew him from school, so they talked. Claire, Becca, Charlotte, and Ashley all danced together and I kind of joined them too. Ed came to the dance with S.A.M. and Jenna brought Meredith. Mary, Corey (Mitchell), Jacey, Emily, Becky, and Laura (among others) danced with us too. It was crazy good fun.
I even danced with Parisa and Michelle and their dates. Well, I was sandwiched in between Parisa and Michelle, who were sandwiched in between their dates. So it was a grinding triple decker. Haha. We danced to "Baby Got Back" (a great classic, and I know most of the words too).
Matt and Wendy had a slow dance, but Matt developed a crush type thing on Jenna. I randomly slow danced with this complete stranger. I found out his name was Scott Skye during the dance (all I knew before I started dancing with him was that he went to THS because I had seen him in the hallways before). it was amusing.
So while everything was mediocre, at the same time, we all had a buttload of fun which I probably won't forget.
I can't think of anything else to write about the dance (I wish I had taken some pictures so I could put them in here) so I'll stop writing about it while I'm ahead. All I can really say was that the Sophomore Ring Dance was a night of good fun.
current music: "Hey Ya!", Outkast
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is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
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| Tuesday, April 13th, 2004
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6:25 pm - "I am the cause to all your problems."
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Eloquently put, my mindframe is "Fuck this."
Today was just one of those crappy days. It was cold, rainy. I wasn't even planning to write in this journal today because I was feeling so bogged down. I thought that meant I'd have to write about Williamsburg and the rest of spring break.
But I don't have to, since I'm writing for myself. Well, I probably won't care about whether I had fun in Williamsburg last week ten years later or whenever I look back on this sometime in the future.
*shrugs*
Now I'm just babbling.
At least I have an idea for another "Young and Green" comic.
And the Young Greens meeting today was pretty good and we got a lot of work done, compared to the previous meeting. We planned out our Day of Silence. I volunteered to do whatever was needed, so Rae told me I could make stickers. That will be fun, I think. ^^
After Young Greens, Charlie and I sat in Ms. Leizear's court room. I showed him the Homestar Runner site. He thought it was retarded. Heheh. I <3 Homestar Runner.
Being with Charlie did not help my mood though.
He told me someone said I was getting attached to him, and I told him that wasn't true (it really isn't!!), then demanded to know who said that, but he wouldn't tell me. -_-
Evil.
After Charlie left school, I hung out with Becca, Claire, Jenna, Linnea (who got her hair cut; it's very pretty and pixieish), Sean ("Frankie"), Wendy, Will, and Corey (Mitchell). We played with a troll we found; I took it home with me and named it Humpty Dumpty, or Humpy for short (because Wendy said she humped it). Claire said she was moving to Virginia next year, and that made me even more sad. ;_;
Mom picked me up, and Wendy, who had seen my mom before, asked me if she was my grandmother. My mom's graying hair (she stopped dying it because my dad said it would give her cancer, and she also got it cut) made her think she was my grandmother. My mom vowed to start dying her hair again. She drove me to Dr. Gaffney, my new therapist at St. Joe's ED Center. Wonder how long this one'll last.
Then we went home briefly (and I started typing this but was interrupted) before going back to St. Joe's to see Dr. Crawford and Ms. Kauffman.
I was dreading seeing Dr. Crawford, but this time, he wasn't quite as bad. He actually laughed once. *gasp*
I still feel down though. Stupid depression, SAD, and rainy days.
Seriously though. Everyone has a best friend, or best friends, except me. I have certain people in my life whom I love, like Sarah and Ed, but no best friends, because everyone else already has one, two, or a few (if that makes any sense). It's depressing.
I sometimes feel like I'm taken for granted. I mean, I don't blame them, and if I were someone else, I'd take me for granted too. Everything is my fault, after all. But it still hurts.
I may not tend to be someone who is fond of labels, but I am seriously turning into an emo kid.
"I think I'll go cry now."
Rain, rain, go away, come again another day... like after I die (which probably won't be too soon, therefore there will just have to be a drought in the Baltimore area for the rest of my life, or until I want the rain to come back).
current mood: sad
current music: "Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't", Brand New
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14 toys said yes. is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
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| Thursday, April 8th, 2004
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4:01 pm - So much for writing about Williamsburg and whatnot... an interruption...
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Awww. No.
Aww FUCK NO!!
My parents just drove up in a new minivan. OUR new minivan.
(Australian accent: Fucking minivans.)
So Percy, Dad's old car, finally died. Poor old Percy.
But they had to replace PERCY with a MINIVAN?!
My theory:
Minivan = suburbia soccer mom all the way. A.K.A. Towsonite.
Haha.
But seriously. We're a family of three. Four, if you count Missy. But being the weird dog she is, she throws up in moving vehicles, so she rarely goes on rides.
Missy's got the right idea. I'm going to barf in the backseat. Yum.
Minivan = almost evil.
Oh well, at least it's not an SUV, because SUV = evil.
Gerfumble... minivan. And I have no arm muscles, so I can't open minivan doors.
My head hurts. The minivan cursed me. Evil thing. I refuse to ride in it.
I will only ride in Grace, the golden beige colored Toyota Corolla. Grace is hot. Percy was hot.
This minivan, which does not deserve a name, is not hot.
current mood:  angry
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14 toys said yes. is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
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| Sunday, April 4th, 2004
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8:38 pm - "when you are out there on the road"
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I haven't had time to write in my dear beloved journal recently. ;_; Sob, sob.
Ah, well.
I just realized that this journal is over a year old now. I started it at the end of March last year. That means my beloved black low top Chucks are also over a year old. And it was over a year ago when I marched with my Chucks over a mile in the rain with Ed, Becca Slavin, Shiv, Pilar, and other friends and such in the anti-war protest.
Time flies.
Anyway, this week's been pretty interesting but boring at the same time. I don't really have too much time to write about it right now, unfortunately. But Spring Break starts tomorrow. And tomorrow, Mom, Dad, and I leave for Williamsburg and don't get back home until Wednesday night. w00t.
So while there may not be too much time to write, I can be a trend/quiz/form letter/survey/thief whore and post a form letter that I stole from Esther.
"Dear Beth:
You are really __.
You should __.
We need to go __.
After that we can __.
Remember that time we __?
That was real __.
You are my __.
I __ you!
Signed your __,
__.
p.s. __."
Fill it out. Anonymous or not, I don't care.
I'll write about Williamsburg... or something... well, everything else, anyway... like going to Bill Bateman's yesterday with Bonnie when I come home Wednesday. Until then...
current music: "Such Great Heights", The Postal Service (I want my CD back)
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4 toys said yes. is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
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| Wednesday, March 31st, 2004
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2:33 pm - I'm at the school library. w00t.
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So I haven't written in over a week, partly because I've been so busy, and partly because I was at Impact. Impact was so fun. But first, minor things I remember from last week:
I met Adam, a friend of Brian's and DJ's. I thought he hated me, but he's actually pretty nice. Yeah, he's a cool kid. Or, as Claire would say, he's chill.
Okay, to be honest, I remember nothing about last week except that. Kind of sad, isn't it? My memory, especially my short term memory, has become so poor in the past few weeks. Ah, well.
Well, at least now that means I can write about Impact... if I still remember anything about Impact.
Friday morning, around 7 am, after taking a shower, Mom handed me the phone. It was Parisa, and she told me school was closed because of a water main break. w00t!! So not only was I going on the retreat, I had NO MAKEUP WORK!! Ohhh yeeeeahhh!!
I grabbed my bag and then we drove to Central, where we saw some of my Storm friends and the bus, waiting to drive to Ocean City.
On the bus ride, I sat in the back with the motley crew of Melle, Ben (Guiles), John Russell, Katie (Vaselkiv), Steve (Bilezikian), and Andrew (Slavik). John, Ben, and Steve played their guitars, and John and Ben played some Brand New (w00t!!) to annoy Melle. Heheh. Man, we were evil. >XD
When we stopped for lunch, John, Steve, and Ben brought their guitars into the fast food restaurant (I think it was a McDonald's) and played them for money (Melle needs money for the Romanian missions trip and her parents are making her raise it by herself, so give her money). I'm not sure if they ever received any money, but they got a lot of funny looks from old ladies.
At Ocean City, we stayed at the Carousel hotel. I was in a condo suite with Ms. Patti ("Mom"), Dani, Melle, Katie, Sarah (Wolf[e?]), Rebecca, and Becky.
After unpacking our stuff and claiming our rooms and beds (I claimed the couch), we went to the Food Lion to buy breakfasty foodstuffs. I bought some amusing things (along with the required breakfasty shiznit), including Tab soda (I hate soda but I was amused that I was able to find 80s soda in the store), a Weekly World News tabloid, a MAD magazine (a XL version), and six fruity chapsticks. There was this one guy who looked like a motorcycle biker from the 80s, and he practically freaked out with joy when he heard me yelling, "TAAAAB!!" Heheh, good times in the Food Lion.
I mooned someone from the ninth floor of our hotel, and John Russell pissed off of the twenty-second floor balcony (where his penthouse was).
Then we went back to the hotel (it was across the street), and watched TV before going to Pizza Hut for dinner.
At the Pizza Hut, I sat at a table with Vickie, Duncan, Theresa, Alan, Kristin, Lori, Ben, Kim, and Amy. We played Telephone and Word Association games.
After dinner, we went to the convention center (finally!!). I sung some karaoke, once by myself to Rebecca St. James' "Reborn", and once with Becky to "Awesome God". Then we (all of Storm) went to the main hall. There was worship with Lincoln Brewster and his little band, then Curt Cloninger (whom I had seen at Alive three years ago) talked and so did this guy named Preston. It was all right, but not as good as Saturday and Sunday.
After we got back, Becky and I had a deep talk and brought out some skeletons from our closets. Of course we stopped when Rebecca came out of the bathroom and into the room she shared with Becky. Rebecca's nice... but I wouldn't trust her with too many of my secrets.
We watched a bit of MTV, and when Britney Spears' "Toxic" video played, Dani said the funniest thing. When Britney gestures to her boobs by cupping them, Dani said, "She's tuning her breasts!!" Ahahahahhaaha!!!!
I laughed so hard and so many times that weekend, but I laughed the hardest right then. I almost died from laughing.
On Saturday, we went back to the convention center. First, we attended two "workshops", or classes. I decided to go to the "No Sex in the City" one taught by Jeff Dean, then to "Girls Only", taught by some lady named Anita. They were all right (and "No Sex in the City" was funny), but not as good as the one I went to Sunday.
We went to the main hall for a bit, and I saw Chris from my lunch shift. I was surprised, but happy, because he's a cool kid (that's becoming one of my new phrases).
After leaving the convention center, we had free time in the afternoon. Most of us went to the Boardwalk for the first half of our free afternoon. I played DDR (DDR Extreme) most of the time. Ben, John, and Steve brought their guitars with them, hoping to get some money.
At 2 pm, we went back to the hotel. Rebecca, Becky, and I ice skated on the rink there, then Becky and I went swimming for a while.
The afternoon went by very quickly, and soon it was time for dinner.
We ate at La Hacienda for dinner. I learned what a toothpick was. >XD I sat with Theresa, Dani, Amy, Ms. Patti, Sarah, and maybe some other girl, but I can't remember.
They were handing out toothpicks for cleaning teeth, and I stupidly opened my mouth.
"Hey, they hand them out at the Szechuan House, this Chinese restaurant I eat at a lot, and people use them for cleaning their teeth too!!"
Everyone stared at me.
"Well, they're used for testing if a cake is ready or not, but why are people picking at their teeth with them?"
More silence.
"Tooth... pick... Oh!!"
Duh.
"Toothpick!!"
My table laughed at me. #>.<# Well, it's my fault for not thinking about what I say.
After dinner, we went back to the convention center. I did a karaoke song with Becky, "We Want To See Jesus Lifted High", before going to the main hall.
In the main hall, this woman named Heather Mercer talked to us. I can't remember much about it, unfortunately. We worshipped with Lincoln Brewster, then Tait performed. It was pretty awesome, and Ben and I skanked a lot. This one cool guy with a black mohawk named Matt talked to us and skanked with us, and we did a bit of "brush the dirt off your shoulder" dancing. Haha, we are so white.
Then we went back to the hotel late, and I fell asleep on the couch while everyone else watched "Trading Spaces" next to me.
Sunday morning, we woke up early and packed our bags. Then we drove the bus to the convention center for the last time that weekend.
We went to one more workshop. That one was my favorite. It was "Culture Shock", taught by Loyal Thurman. He was this punk rock guy from our area in Baltimore, and he talked about a lot of good stuff and brought up lots of interesting points and ideas, and even told us about his punk rock church. After his workshop was over, Ben, John, Steve, Becky, and I talked to him and got his business card. He's really nice, and we're (or at least, I am) definitely visiting his church.
Then we went to the main hall (for the last time). They had this extreme sports video, Livin' It playing on the big screen, and I bought it in the lobby (it comes out later this year, but they had exclusive copies for sale in the lobby).
Jeff Dean and Curt Cloninger talked to us again. Curt told us a story about how we are mutts and God is our loving owner and how we should be drooling for God. Or something like that. It was cool, and deep. I thought about everything, especially the things of recent with Charlie and the like, and I felt really bad. I apologized to God (thank goodness He forgives) and... well, I just felt really touched. Other high schoolers also shared their experiences here, and that was really cool. Then we worshipped with Lincoln (he was hot, haha) and his guitar again before boarding the bus.
On the bus, I sat in the back with the usual gang of idiots (MAD magazine reference, haha), and we had some interesting conversations, some funny, some deep. We stopped for fast food on the way home. In the KFC (where I only ordered a biscuit, no meat for me!!), some girls and a guy who went to Impact pointed out my "Stein Auf" shirt and we had a good talk about Alive, Impact, and Lost and Found. The guy originally thought I was a guy at first. That was pretty funny, and I laughed at him. Heheheh.
Soon, we had to get back on the bus, so we ate most of our lunches there. Good fun on that bus, and good times. So much craziness. Ben and Melle were the "pity partners" (haha) and Ben talked about his "boob" (his practically nonexistent one). Good times.
When we drove by the Commons and were almost at church, I looked out the window and saw Zack sitting on one of the stair railings. He's also one of the many cool kids out there.
When we got back to the church, Mom surprised me by bringing Missy with her. That was nice. I was fairly tired, and didn't do any homework that night.
I'm still wearing my bright neon green hospital bracelet from Impact, the one I had to wear to be allowed in the main hall. I'm going to wear it for as long as possible.
I'll write about the rest of my week (Monday through now-ish) later, but I'm going to stop now. After all, I'm on one of the school library computers, and I feel like wasting time playing games or something now.
Man, I'm a lazy bum. But a mostly happy lazy bum at that.
I don't really know why I'm happy, because I haven't felt this good since going out with DJ, but I'm feeling fairly content now.
Thank you God.
current mood: bored
current music: stupid people cursing around me at their online golf games
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6 toys said yes. is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?
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