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Urbandub - An Invitation |
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I'm quite sure I'm moving blogs soon.
I haven't updated since May 2009 for a number of valid reasons:
1. I've been busy with SC work, which I barely enjoy right now.
2. I've been busy with CITE4D work, which I will explain in detail in a bit.
3. I broke up with J just a couple of weeks ago, but the clean break up was just a couple of hours ago.
4. I quit smoking (a hell lot of sub reasons)
5. Is "emotionally handicapped" the term? or "emotionally unstable"?
I guess the SC life really isn't meant for me, really.
Andrew was right when he told me the thrill of running is not the same thrill of working, so I guess this is farewell to my advance enrollment and hello to my soon re-instated time slot (figures that I'd get stuck there due to my lack of patience in Calculus1! That's what I get for running though. I win, I get advanced enrollment, I fail, well--I'll hopefully be re-instated).
Aside from that, just the other day, I was talking to Miguel and Mike in the car and I think we were playing this weird game where we guess who's thinking of what, or something to that effect. They easily guessed that I was thinking of Sir Ona and Mike said, "Sus! Mahal na mahal mo talaga si Sir Ona!" and I couldn't help but smile about it longer than usual. Miguel then asked, "Why?" and I answered, "I don't know."
This Ona guy I'm talking about--is currently changing my life.
That's the safest thing I could say... since... well... I'm moving blogs, so why elaborate?
OK SOME reminiscing time. I went out with J right after my group's successful DAT-BAS defense just today. We met up in MOA and well, it was really useless and pathetic going out with him again right after I broke up with him, but well--as I explained to him, I really need someone right now. Apparently M not N was filling in the gap, so I thought J would.
It worsened?
Aside from laughing at me for quitting the smoking habit, he even laughed at me for the reasons I gave him.
1. "Sean, Dane, and Camz are my life and I trust that they know what's best for me."--he thought I sounded like Edward Cullen or something, couldn't argue with him there :))
2. "My dad."
3. "I was trying to make my friend, Mike, quit smoking, but it wouldn't be smart to make him quit if I can't quit."
He laughed at the last one in particular and I asked why. He said, "Does he even know that you quit mostly because of HIM?"
Hah, I sort of laughed and said, "Nope. I don't think so."
I faintly smell the jealously over someone who's not worth being jealous about.
The day ended stupid as well when he didn't want to drop me home (when we're clearly 3 streets apart, you moron-- but the Japanese movie on the bus was hella worth it!); he smoked and some ash got into my eye and he said, "Whoops! Sorry, babe."; He made me pay for his Yosi at the Yosi stand; He held my hand and he was just about to k... but I giggled and pushed him because I was thinking of someone else--and uhh, he sort of got all moody after?
Or something to that effect.
It doesn't matter.
It was easy to finally talk things out with him. I just can't believe that he told me how much he missed me and how much he's cried over me when in fact he told me last week that he moved on already. I'm pretty NR about the whole situation, I guess. I've never cried over him, or any other guy yet... but sometimes, it just makes me wonder...
Were my decisions in life ever right?
If I was as smart as I claim to be, then why didn't I break up with him earlier? Why is it that at this very moment, I still think about him? That I still long for him? That I still compare him to every guy I like?
Is it because he's all I'll ever see myself with?
With a guy who obviously treats me like shit?
Maybe that's all what I'm worth.
Or maybe I just haven't been listening to my friends enough.
Wake up Megg. Wake up.
Let's study for Physics.
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