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Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 20 most recent ones recorded in
Joshua Scott Chasez's Blurty:
| Friday, June 27th, 2003 | |
| 4:58 am | Alyssa....I think me and you should talk. Current Mood: annoyed |
| Tuesday, June 24th, 2003 | |
| 7:15 pm | grr My kid just asked me if she could eat my boner. Whoever the fuck is teaching her stuff like that is getting their ass kicked. Furthermore...whoever exposes her to more violence is getting their ass kicked. She's only FIVE YEARS OLD you perverted fuckers. Current Mood: pissed off |
| Saturday, June 21st, 2003 | |
| 8:46 pm | so um..I'm a dad? Okay, well not leagally just yet..I'm guessing we have papers to sign..somewhere..how the hell do you file for adoption? Are we filing for adoption? What am I doing.. :smiles softly: No..I'm not freaking out. Really. I can do this...though my own mother doesn't trust me watching her plant over the weekend let alone a child. Not that I intentionally forget to water it, just that I do. Just like I forget feeding myself most of the time and now I have a little girl to look after. :nods, looking over the guest room, sighs: There was a big debate where she could sleep. Couch...our bed...then it dawned on me we have 4 guestrooms. She can sleep here...right by our bedroom so we're always close by. :bites his lip some, putting vases, picture frames and other various glass objects away so Faith doesn't get hurt, looks over the room again, taking a breath: Okay..tomorrow...shopping. Major shopping. Stuffed animals, toys, some kid's decorations..oh, and Disney movies. That's on every kid's want list, right? :smiles more: She really is adorable...and I know I'm going to end up spoiling her. Lance too. Just please god let me not screw this up. :pauses, thinking he forgot something, jumps some when he remembers, taking out his cell and dialing a number: um..hi, mom? Yeah..so I have something to tell you... Current Mood: nervous |
| Thursday, June 19th, 2003 | |
| 8:04 pm | Well...at least I didn't get the evil Boobies  You are X-tina's Ass. Bring on the sex! Which Part of X-tina's Body Are You? brought to you by Quizilla Current Mood: bouncy |
| Wednesday, June 18th, 2003 | |
| 11:19 pm | I'm a thug, damnit. Just three quick things cause i'm hyper... 1.) mhel_maclahanan scares me...someone please locate his straight jacket?? 2.) Chris..GIVE ME MY DAMN PORN TAPES BACK And of course, last but the most important.. 3.) Lance, love you :nuzzle: Current Mood: weird |
| Tuesday, June 17th, 2003 | |
| 3:40 am | :smiles and watches Lance sleep soundly beside him, his lips slightly parted, head tucked comfortably on his shoulder, lets out a content sigh: So I'm still worked up..even with all the nyquil pumped into me I still feel like I want to run around and shout to no one in particular that I'm going to marry the most perfect man. It's funny how nervous I had been all day...knowing I was more than likely going to screw up but had to make it perfect. The look in his eyes after I asked the question was more than enough to let me know I did all right...even if I babbled he knows now what he means to me. Like I couldn't breath without him..:glances down at the sleeping form cuddled to him, smiles softly:..I wouldn't want to breath without him..he's my life. :gently takes the sleeping man's hand in his, brushing a kiss over the ring on his finger: I love you, Lance. Current Mood: ecstatic |
| Tuesday, June 10th, 2003 | |
| 8:30 pm | :rubs his eyes: Blah..yeah..that's what I'm having. A 'blah' day. I feel terrible for what happened the other night. I'm a fucking bastard..no doubt about it. It's kind of surprising that I'm a big enough one to scare a close friend into flying back home though... And then..Lance..:blushes hard: I can't even..well..:blushes more: right..not getting into that..:sighs: he did look hot though.. How's this for random babbling? I'm the king of it if you haven't noticed..maybe now it's time to go look at the straight porn Chris so generously left us for amusement.. Current Mood: blah |
| Saturday, June 7th, 2003 | |
| 7:51 pm | Because I am bored...and have nothing better to do.. :smirks: Blame Alyssa ( um..yeah ) Current Mood: awake |
| Monday, June 2nd, 2003 | |
| 1:46 am | It was only what...a day or two? I really can't remember through all the vodka. Still way too long without Lance. It was torture and really, I have no idea why I thought I'd be able to go through that. From now on, no more stupid mistakes like that ever again. I may make them but...I also learn from them. The other day it really tore my heart when someone came to my door knocking and I opened it to find Lance, his head down voice soft, asking for his things. It was like his stuff was still in our room...that I could still, if only in my mind, call it our room. And that meant I would still have a chance to get him back. Or at least just have something to hold onto. When he asked for his things, I just walked away. I really didn't want to break down right there infront of him...when I came back, I found him sitting on the steps. There I saw the same pain within me mirrored in his eyes. We were able to talk things out...and he is giving me another chance. I only need just one, this is something I'm not letting go of again. Jen, Willa, and Alyssa, thank you for being there even when I was crabby. It really helped having someone to talk with. Remember, I'm always here for you too. And congratulations to Willa and Chris. :grins: I'm so happy for the two of you. Current Mood: relieved |
| Thursday, May 29th, 2003 | |
| 10:33 pm | He won't speak to me. Not that I blame him...it felt like my heart was ripped out. Now I feel nothing..just empty and pain. All which I deserve. Lance, I'll give you what you wish and leave you alone...for the final time, I am sorry. And no matter what, you always will have my heart... For everyone else, this may seem rude, but I want to just hide away. I can't keep up the fake smiles anymore. I don't know I'm sorry for who I am. Always I put other people ahead of myself and I guess I just went overboard one too many times. Lance, you were right about Bobbie. Current Mood: crushed |
| Wednesday, May 28th, 2003 | |
| 3:14 am | :rubs his eyes, hand shaking some as he brushes away a tear: Sometimes you just have to follow your heart...no matter how painful it is...:swallows, it hurting to much to even speak: God..I just hope I'm doing the right thing.. Current Mood: blank |
| Tuesday, May 27th, 2003 | |
| 9:48 pm | :blinks:  You're Flaming!JC ! You're *so* tired of people asking you when "the operation will be" because you may be effeminate but you're not *actually* turning into a woman. Drawn to shiny, glittery, furry and generally pretty things, you lead a simple life of sex and sparkle. You compliment the group on their loveliness. Were you living in the country, little birds and small, fuzzy animals would probably follow you around as you frolicked through the glades. Unfortunately you live, essentially, on a bus. Frolicking is tricky. So you settle for sex. Which JC Fanfic Stereotype Are You? brought to you by Quizilla What really worries me..is I got all bouncy when I read this "that furry pink coat, your snakeskin trousers, cowboy boots and a glittery t-shirt. oh, and the all-important lipgloss." What is wrong with lipgloss???? Current Mood: amused |
| Monday, May 26th, 2003 | |
| 4:57 am | hm..I think i'm taking these things wrong..  kiss on the lips - you're sweet and simple but quite daring. you move for the kill confidently knowing the other person wants the same thing. What Sign of Affection Are You? brought to you by Quizilla |
| Friday, May 23rd, 2003 | |
| 12:09 am | Just because I was bored...  I am an overly happy A.D.D kitten Which cute or possibly strange kitten are you? brought to you by Quizilla  You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss that never lessens and always blows your partner away like the first time. What kind of kiss are you? brought to you by Quizilla Current Mood: amused |
| Friday, May 16th, 2003 | |
| 6:20 pm | :looks in the mirror, running his fingers through his hair to straighten it: Maybe like..no..:frowns, pulling it back into a ponytail then makes a face, pulling it out again: gah..I'm going to look like a freak tomorrow..:frowns, glancing around nervously then laughs: Why am I so nervous? It's not like I haven't sung and performed infront of people before... :blinks, looking in the mirror again: But I'm alone tomorrow...with..my songs...about falling in love with an alien...and getting shot by cannons...:hides under the bed: Yall have fun at Wango Tango tomorrow. I'm just going to stay right here and catch up on uh..sleep. Yeah. Current Mood: nervous |
| Tuesday, May 13th, 2003 | |
| 8:15 pm | pshh..gotta secret.. :looks around, then motions you closer: :looks around more then whispers in your ear: I saw a fake banana and a fruit bowl make whoopie :giggles and runs away: Current Mood: dorky |
| 3:13 pm | Bananas and...what? :groans, rubbing his eyes: I am never drinking again..ever...:pouts: Why is there a train trying to bash its way out of my head?? mm..okay, so last night Chris decided I make a good horse. I thought otherwise..:laughs then winces: You're small but damn man, you're heavy. I think I broke my back ;) I'm not a good drinker...a few shots and I'm out. Blame the metabolism...so I don't remember much after that. Just something about...bananas? Berries and...peaches? :runs his fingers through his hair lightly: Maybe I'm just hungry for fruit... And another thing, Lance did calm me down so I cut up my kill list. You're all saved :chuckles softly: Thank him...but keep in mind that I can make another one. :smiles then winces, goes off to curl up by Lance again: Current Mood: sick |
| Sunday, May 11th, 2003 | |
| 5:56 am | JC is pissed. JC is also too tired to explain why he is pissed and has to resort to talking to himself in the third person. Or is this even third person? I don't know..:growls: Either way..I think our little vacation to Chris' is cut short. Current Mood: angry |
| Sunday, May 4th, 2003 | |
| 1:24 pm | A special day Lance and I arrived at Mississippi late last night and I have to say it was nice seeing his family again. I forgot how peaceful Mississippi really is, so much more quiet and settled than Orlando or LA. Anyway, today is Lance's birthday :grins: His family has been buzzing around getting everything set up and me...well, I have his present hidden for later. One anyway. A little later tonight, I have a private one for him. Happy Birthday baby :smiles: Current Mood: cheerful |
| Saturday, May 3rd, 2003 | |
| 11:42 am | Flying away Yesterday was interesting, to say the least. I've discovered Lance likes me hyper. I guess now I can see why people eat so much sugar...:smirks: Anyway, when I saw him there just standing innocently I had to tackle him. Not that he complained much. Later Chris stopped by. Which makes me wonder why I missed him that much...:laughs softly: we got into a play fight like old times which I won so if he tells you other wise it's a lie. Nah..it was good seeing him again even if I ended up drenched and with more than one bruise. I leave with Lance soon to go back to Mississippi and see his family for his birthday. I hope I can make it a special day for him, he means so much to me. More than he realizes...I just hope I'm not the cause of trouble between him and his family... Current Mood: curious |